Best And Worst Things To Do While Stuck In Traffic

Best Things to Do in While Stuck in Traffic (in no particular order):

• Sing soul-stirring music in a classically trained voice with a beautiful vibrato
• Attack your nose with gusto and vigor to extricate unwanted stowaways*
• Glance over at every person that pulls up alongside you as though they are in restricted pavement space
• Evaluate life choices that landed you in traffic
• Mess with morons
• Consider the appropriateness of messing with morons at your age
• Decide that in this case it is warranted
• Try to keep the wife on the phone as long as possible while talking about meaningless things because if I have to suffer, so should she; after all, it was she who called me
• Reflect on the irony that she just hung up on you because she was too busy to discuss trivialities
• Try to convince yourself your feelings have just been hurt, but then remember you're a man
• Go back to messing with morons
• Check for more stowaways
• Berate the traffic

* Best thing to do while stuck in traffic

Worst Things to Do in While Stuck in Traffic (in no particular order):

• Text
• Play loud, thumpy music that is sung without classical training nor a beautiful vibrato
• Eat sloppy food
• Be a moron
• Take a self-righteous stand against last-second mergers
• Refuse to let me merge at the last second
• Look at me when I pull next to you*
• Smoke in proximity to my air intake

* But I get it…

- The Editors