• Ok! Ok! OOOOOOOKAYYY! So this FREAKIN argument has been going on for quite some time and quite too long if you ask me and I am TIRED of this. It’s time to put this all to rest because it’s all very tiresome and irritating. Listen, because I am only going to say this once, you hearz me?! ONCE and one time only. ONE. ONE. You hear me? One…. one….

Fun Fact: WATER IS NOT WET!!! (x7)

WHAT IS WET?

• We can describe an object as wet when said object is surrounded by air and also covered, yet not submerged, in particles of a liquid. Therefore, let me give an example of a wet object vs the same object when it is not wet.

THE FISH

• A fish (and all other objects) is naturally found underwater, obviously, and at that point, based on our definition of being wet, is the fish wet? No. While submerged in water, a fish is not wet. It is not surrounded by air, meaning it does not qualify for the definition of a wet object. If the fish is removed from the water and brought to the land, is the fish wet? YES! Because the fish is now out of the water, it is then surrounded by air but covered in particles of a liquid, in this case, water. This means then that the fish is wet.

FIRE

• Certain things do certain things to certain things. In other words, some objects have the ability to cause some effect to occur with another object. Fire, for example, burns things. Water, WETS things. So then let me ask you a question: If you take a piece of paper and light it on fire, what is happening to the paper? It’s being burned correct? If an arsonist sets a barn on fire, what is happening to the barn? It’s burning. In this case, what if fire were to be added to fire? Would the initial fire burn or not? No. Fire can not burn fire. Therefore, things with the ability to cause some effect to fall upon other objects, like fire, can not inflict the same effects on themselves. Fire can not burn fire and water can therefore NOT wet water. But water isn’t the only thing that causes an object to become wet. Juice, Coffee, Spit, Blood, Alcoholic Beverages, Pee, etc can all make something wet. So what do they do to water? Does then this mean water can become wet but water can’t be the liquid doing the wetting?

JUICE

• If one was to put a drop of juice with a drop of water, is the water wet? The answer: we broke physics. You would think yes because a liquid is now on the water and the water is surrounded by air. SO HOORAY WATER IS WET!!! In the words of Trump, WRONG!!! Like I said before, Certain things do certain things to certain things. Certain things however, have the ability to do the same thing to certain other things. Lava burns things just like fire. So I ask you, can Lava burn Fire? NO, AND DO YOU KNOW WHY?! YOU KNOW WHY PEOPLE?! BECAUSE FIRE CAN NOT TAKE ON THE SAME INFLICTION IT PUTS ON OTHER OBJECTS OR MATERIALS. In other words, FIRE CAN’T BURN! So if fire can’t burn, the same is for water that water can not be made wet.

STATES OF MATTER

• Water is water, whether it’s ice or water or steam. Water can’t be wet as we already established and and you can not wet a substance in a gaseous state. But ice brings up an interesting point. What if the ice melts or someone splashes something on the ice. If the ice melts, the second it changes its state, it’s wet right? NO! ICE IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE WET RULE! Ice looks at the wet rule and screams: “SCREW YOU, THE RULES!”. It may be covered in the particles of a liquid and surrounded by air, but ice… IS STILL WATER!

So Guess What? Water is not wet. Water never was wet. Water will never be wet. Water ain’t wet. It ain’t wet. Get over it: WATER... IS... NOT… WET!