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By: Damonte Rush
May 6, 2019
Shed Light on the double standard for Future change
Shed Light on the double standard for Future change
In essence, the goal of this article is to bring to light the double standards that have tainted the world for years, and are still prevalent in the media of today.
I also want to shed light on assumed gender roles throughout relationships, and why it isn’t okay to just assume that there is a “man” and “woman” in every relationship. We’ve all heard the expression, "who wears the pants in that relationship?" This illustrates the bias that we have in how we think about relationships. We think there should be a dominant person. A stereotypical relationship is heterosexual, with a man as a provider. The woman is supposed to be at home, subservient.
Manliness
Manliness
This heterosexual bias bleeds into how we are raised as men. In high school at Carver, there is a very noticeable amount of female displays of affection. No matter what it is, it's way more obvious to see the females of Carver showing any sort of affection to each other, such as hugs or just the way they communicate with each other. These things are attributed to showing your emotions, so why aren't any men of Carver seen doing these things? It's because of the constant stigma around doing things that would make you seem "effeminate", when in reality it's things that are necessary to form a true and honest bond between anyone. This also ties into the double standard focus, because even though women do the same thing, men are frowned upon and shamed for doing something that all relationships should or could need to grow.
interviews
interviews
I interviewed two people for this article, both coming from diverse backgrounds, living in two completely different states. My first interview was with Dayanna Shomo, a student at Carver HSES who has a lot to say about this topic. I asked them the same questions, the only difference is how they answered those questions. Here is what she had to say:
- Question: Do you believe that that Men and Women are equal, or do you believe that there are some things that Men can do that Women cannot, and there some things that Women can do that Men cannot?
- I believe that in most aspects, men are equal to women. If a woman puts her mind to it, she can do majority of the things a man can do, and vice versa. Particular things have been so accustomed to that it can’t be changed, such as the way larger viewers that the NBA gets compared to the WNBA
- Question: Do you believe that no matter what the relationship (gay, straight, lesbian, etc.), there is always a "man" in the relationship (more dominant/masculine person) and "woman" in the relationship (more submissive/feminine person)?
- No, I believe that sex is sex. Obviously there is going to be someone on top and someone on the bottom, but there is no correlation between masculinity or femininity when it comes to who is on top or who is on the bottom, nor when it comes to the relationship. Love is relative.
My next interview was with a 9th grade student at New Tech HIgh in Coppell, Texas. We got into contact with her through a video calling app in class. I am not using her name here. This is what she had to say to these questions:
- Question: Have you ever experienced a double standard in school around gender?
- I personally have never experienced double standards, because my school is pretty calm.
- Question: Do you feel comfortable in your gender at school?
- I feel very comfortable in my gender at school. Everyone knows everyone, and they are all pretty accepting and nice.
- Question: Do you believe that that men and women are equal, or do you believe that there are some things that men can do that women cannot, and there some things that women can do that men cannot?
- I believe that men and women are equal, and that there are certain things that one can do better than the other just because of physique.
- Question: Do you believe that no matter what the relationship (gay, straight, lesbian, etc.), there is always a "man" in the relationship (more dominant/masculine person) and "woman" in the relationship (more submissive/feminine person)?
- I don't think that one has to be above the other in the sense of dominance, and no one has to be more masculine or feminine.
In the future...
In the future...
Through this interview and information obtained through a google form taken by my class, I learned a lot about how Carver and people in general see this topic. What stood out to me is that we are in a time where a lot of people in my community and others are in agreement with the fact that someone’s sexual orientation and who that individual forms a relationship with honestly doesn’t and shouldn’t be defined.
In the future, hopefully even more people can stop worrying about what other people’s relationship lives consist of, and start focusing on themselves and their relationships more. Also, maybe more people in the future can accept that love is a spectrum, and that there is no definable definition of love.
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