What is depression like?

One person was interviewed in this investigation. This person has struggled with depression for quite some time now and would like to remain anonymous in this article. I went through what a day would be like for her, and wrote what it is like for her into my own analysis.

What is depression like you may ask? By book definition, it is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. That’s only the half of it for those who actually have to deal with this. Those on the outside think one with depression is sad all the time, which is definitely not the case.

Picture this: We sing in the shower. We go out and have a good time with our friends. We have family game nights with our families. We’re not just someone who curls up in a ball in the corner of the room and cries. We are so much more than that. The depression hits you when you’re not expecting it. You could wake up and your chest feels heavy and you just know today is going to be a bad day for you. Getting up out of bed after that is such a challenge. “I know I need to get up, I have to,” You tell yourself. It’s always a fight to do little things like this, so when you finally actually get up and go do these things, you’re so proud of yourself, but it upsets you that others don’t realize they need to show they’re proud of you too.

So you’re up out of your bed now. Time to go eat breakfast. You tell yourself you’re not really hungry, mostly because you don’t have enough motivation to take the time and care for yourself. You end up probably not eating breakfast because of this, and just head off to school. Getting to school is not really affected by this at all. It's when you get to school that there's a problem. It's hard maintaining focus throughout the classes. You find yourself gazing deep into space, and when you get out of that daze, you're completely lost as to what's going on. This obviously puts you behind, which is a hole that is hard to dig yourself out of. Asking a teacher to explain something again is especially frustrating. "You should've been paying attention," They say. Little do they know, you have other things going on in your brain that are hard to control. It's the same routine such as that for every class. You find yourself just going through the motions. Quiet in every class, doesn't really talk to anybody, and doesn't really participate or contribute anything to the class. You're just floating along, dreaming of going home and laying in your bed.

You're home. Finally the place where you wanted to be all day. There's a lot of homework to be done, but you tell yourself you'll do it later, knowing you most likely wont. There's a feeling of sadness that comes over you, and you don't even know why. Your parents aren't home from work yet, so it just gives you even more of a reason to feel sad or lonely. Dinner time comes around. Some days you're so hungry you eat like a grown man, others you have no appetite for no reason. Those days with no appetite are the hardest. You want to eat with your family and have a nice meal, but you're stuck with this bad feeling in your gut and can't work yourself up to eat. After eating dinner, or not, there's another big challenge that may not seem big to others. This being, taking a shower. You lay in your bed and contemplate it for so long, that a lot of times you end up not even taking one. When you do get up and take a shower, it can feel like you're on top of the world and that you can anything you set your mind to. Just like with getting out of bed, you want someone to be proud of you for something little like this.

Time to go to bed. You turn your light off, turn the fan on, and go under your blanket. All you want to do is sleep, so this should be the best part of your day right? That's not always the case. Late night thoughts run through your head. Stress about school work you should be doing, family issues, and so much more keep you up into the late hours of the night. You finally fall asleep. When you wake up, you do it all over again, but wonder if it's going to be a worse day or a better one this time.