You're Most Likely Living Two Lives

By: ADAYA HEAD 11/6/18 4:20 PM Writing is like roleplaying by yourself- unfortunately, I practice the art of both.

I’m online all the time. And so are other teens. In this new age of social media. The impact of tech and the internet on everyone’s lives is complex. Our online presence is what I like to refer to as The Great Escape. On social media, we can find people who live post to post, and I mean telling ALL their followers what they’re doing. This. Exact. Second. Or the next. Or posting unneeded intimate information about their lives. Does any of this sound familiar? Could YOU relate to being an active online participant, or could one of your friends? For the November edition, I will investigate what's behind the text messages and the likes. Who are YOU behind the screen, and who AREN'T you?

First, my story

Everyone's always excited to go home after school. Some kids hang back and play basketball, others find a restaurant to go to in Center City. But if you're ANYTHING like me, you'd plan to go straight home and relax! And that's exactly what I do. I turn on the heater, grab some snacks, put some music on and lay on my bed. This time at about 4 P.M., I wouldn't be doing my homework. I would be on my phone checking my notifications on Wattpad, Tumblr, and Kik. And not to brag or anything, but I have A LOT of them. So checking my notifications would take about 2 hours or so. No joke. And I do this practically everyday.

I don't have a lot of people at school to talk to about my interests. But with social media, I can get online and automatically reach MORE people who like Marvel, DC, and anime and other cartoons! I've spent about five years now gaining friends all over the internet just by sharing memes with them, or freaking out over a trailer or a movie or even one of our favorite actors. The social aspect of the internet has made ME feel included and confident and that I'm not alone. I'm well aware of the dangers of being online too. With the rise in cyberbullying, trolling, or predators, I should try to stay offline as much as I can. But I don't. I've devoted so much of my time posting fan art to my Tumblr blogs and staying updated with stories I write and read on Wattpad that it's too late for me to run away now. I can't just give up something that I enjoy.

#thisismyescape

Now, their story

I went out and asked a few of my friends and family on their experiences with social media. A local senior, Josh, gave me his insight.

Could you list a few social media sites or apps that you use? Instagram, Snapchat, Messages, and FaceTime.

How much time do you think you spend on these apps? Daily, weekly? How many hours?

I’d say about six hours on a week where I don’t have a lot of work and two on weeks that I do.

What drives YOU to social media? Is it potential internet fame, gaming online, simply chatting with people, or to inform anyone about any issues that might affect them or yourself? And at the same time, could you also explain WHY you choose to be on social media. Is it because it’s trendy, or your friends told you that you had to join them? I would like to hear your story on your first exposure to an app that allowed you to reach others online.

I’m only on Insta' for the memes, and Snapchat is a little more personal, but I’m not on it as much.

Could you describe some of the people you interact with online? Do you strictly surround yourself with only the people you know in real life, or are you there to only chat with people of interest who you only know on these apps or is there a combination of both?

About 99 percent of people I talk to are people I have a good connection with, and I don’t even talk to that many people, so there’s hardly anyone that I don’t know in real life in my messages. For the people I do talk to, it's either us sending memes back and forth or standard conversation.

I’m beginning to use this phrase called “the great escape” which refers to this new age of social media and the impact of the internet on everyone’s lives where you can see how people may live from post to post. You may see certain people online actively tell all their followers about what they’re doing in that exact second or the next, or posting unneeded intimate information about their lives. Has this ever been you or one of your friends? Do you ever go online to “escape” from reality?

I can’t say I really know a lot of people who do.

According to Oxford Dictionaries, a follower is defined as “a person who supports and admires a particular person or set of ideas.” Keeping these ‘followers’ updated about your life all the time almost creates a second personality. I mean, you can’t exactly filter out what your friends in real life know/see about you compared to how ‘filtered’ your daily life might be on your social media page. You can control what people see about you online. So with that, would you agree that social media has caused people to live more than one life?

I don’t think so. Initially, yes, but as people continue to live their second life on social media, they usually begin to morph into whatever their online persona is.

We all know there are people from older generations who think spending time online isn’t as social as meeting people face to face; that being on your phone all the time is a real distraction. Would you agree or disagree?

I think it depends on the scenario. If you’re like me, you see your friends at school, go home and do homework, and then get on FaceTime to discuss unfinished business. I’m not confined to solely interacting with someone online. On the other hand, if you sit in all day playing online games and shouting over a mic and headphones, you’ll lack proper people skills that can only be attained through face-to-face contact.

Is there anyone you know who may or may not have access to the internet and wouldn’t choose to be on social media at all?

No.

If there was a way you could change social media, whether it’s controlling whoever sees your page or filtering inappropriate posts, what would you decide?

Nothing. People have the right to post what they want and if you don’t like it LOG OFF. Don’t kill yourself please.

Overall, how do you feel about your online experience?

It’s pretty good. I just look at memes and talk to my friends.

Another senior, Alonzo, also added his experience to the story.

Could you list a few social media sites or apps that you use?

Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube… that counts right? I think so.

How much time do you think you spend on these apps? Daily, weekly? How many hours?

Hours on YouTube. I don't use other apps all that often - it’s kinda a weird for someone my age.

What drives YOU to social media? Is it potential internet fame, gaming online, simply chatting with people, or to inform anyone about any issues that might affect them or yourself? And at the same time, could you also explain WHY you choose to be on social media. Is it because it’s trendy, or your friends told you that you had to join them? I would like to hear your story on your first expose to an app that allowed you to reach others online.

I use it mostly for entertainment to see people do stupid things or cool things. The first app I used was Facebook before my parents let me use social media.

Could you describe some of the people you interact with online? Do you strictly surround yourself with only the people you know in real life, or are you there to only chat with people of interest who you only know on these apps or is there a combination of both?

Most of the people I communicate with are people I know, but I do watch videos of web celebrities.

I’m beginning to use this phrase called “the great escape” which refers to this new age of social media and the impact of the internet on everyone’s lives where you can see how people may live from post to post. You may see certain people online actively tell all their followers about what they’re doing in that exact second or the next, or posting unneeded intimate information about their lives. Has this ever been you or one of your friends? Do you ever go online to “escape” from reality?

Yes, I think that is the unintentional purpose of the internet. It helps you leave the sh!ttiest circumstances and only show the highlights which are fun.

According to Oxford Dictionaries, a follower is defined as “a person who supports and admires a particular person or set of ideas.” Keeping these ‘followers’ updated about your life all the time almost creates a second personality. I mean, you can’t exactly filter out what your friends in real life know/see about you compared to how ‘filtered’ your daily life might be on your social media page. You can control what people see about you online. So with that, would you agree that social media has caused people to live more than one life?

The people that are super active yes, but the casual user no. I like to believe I am the same online as I am in real life but some people are online all the time and act super hyper and happy, but have nothing but skeletons in their closet.

We all know there are people from older generations who think spending time online isn’t as social as meeting people face to face; That being on your phone all the time is a real distraction. Would you agree or disagree? Could you explain your answer in a way that persuades an older person why or why not you think social media has made our world closer. (This is your chance to explain your gratitude/distaste of social media culture)

Social media is the greatest gift for people who have relatives who are far away. You can check on them see how they are doing without having a conversation. As great as face to face sometimes plays, you just want a progress report and not a full novel. A ‘like’ and a comment say the same as a handshake and a conversation.

Is there anyone you know who may or may not have access to the internet and wouldn’t choose to be on social media at all?

Actually no, most people I know of including older people are on social media to an extent. Whether it’s for checking in on grandbabies or looking at the latest slang, most people I know use social media.

If there was a way you could change social media, whether it’s controlling whoever sees your page or filtering inappropriate posts, what would you decide?

Nah, I like looking at opposing opinions, it makes me think; and as for making my page private, I don't post anything unless I who say it in public.

If there’s ever been a person you met online, would you ever like the chance to meet with them in real life? I can't think of anyone.

Overall, how do you feel about your online experience?

I feel like I get a rich experience and have some fun learning other points of view being entertained and checking in on family friends.

I was also able to ask a relative of mine to voice their perspective on social media for adults.

Could you list a few social media sites or apps that you use?

The only social media app that I'm using right now is Instagram. I just recently joined IG about 6 months ago.

How much time do you think you spend on these apps? Daily, weekly? How many hours?

I spend three to four hours a day on the Gram.

What drives YOU to social media? Is it potential internet fame, gaming online, simply chatting with people, or to inform anyone about any issues that might affect them or yourself? And at the same time, could you also explain WHY you choose to be on social media. Is it because it’s trendy, or your friends told you that you had to join them? I would like to hear your story on your first exposure to an app that allowed you to reach others online.

What drove me to finally get on a social medium was because a friend of mine told me it was a good way to find out the latest information about things that interest me like comedy skits, hair care trends and tips, the latest restaurant and foodie trends, and music and other social events going on locally in the city of Atlanta. I honestly wanted to stay off of social media because I had a bad experience with drama on Facebook. Facebook actually was my first experience interacting with others socially over the internet. At first FB was great. I was getting in touch with friends and family but after a bad encounter with a so-called friend I removed myself from Facebook in 2015.

Could you describe some of the people you interact with online? Do you strictly surround yourself with only the people you know in real life, or are you there to only chat with people of interest who you only know on these apps or is there a combination of both?

I interact with all kinds of people online. Normally I communicate with people who share similar interests to mine such as people who like jazz music or Philadelphia Eagles' football. I really only have one or two people that I know in real life who I also communicate with on IG.

I’m beginning to use this phrase called “the great escape” which refers to this new age of social media and the impact of the internet on everyone’s lives where you can see how people may live from post to post. You may see certain people online actively tell all their followers about what they’re doing in that exact second or the next, or posting unneeded intimate information about their lives. Has this ever been you or one of your friends? Do you ever go online to “escape” from reality?

My friends and I don't personally use social media as a way of living post to post. We don't use social media as a way of documenting our everyday life and revealing personal and intimate details of our lives. I'm not sure if my friends use social media as a way of escaping reality, but sometimes I find myself using Instagram as a form of entertainment and a way to "escape" the stress and tediousness of my everyday routine.

According to Oxford Dictionaries, a follower is defined as “a person who supports and admires a particular person or set of ideas.” Keeping these ‘followers’ updated about your life all the time almost creates a second personality. I mean, you can’t exactly filter out what your friends in real life know/see about you compared to how ‘filtered’ your daily life might be on your social media page. You can control what people see about you online. So with that, would you agree that social media has caused people to live more than one life?

Yes. People definitely use social media as a way of creating a second life or even persona that is displayed for others. They can control and "filter" the bad about themselves and only show the good about their lives which only shows one side of themselves.

We all know there are people from older generations who think spending time online isn’t as social as meeting people face to face; That being on your phone all the time is a real distraction. Would you agree or disagree?

While the social media culture has allowed us to become closer to others whom we may not be able to really communicate with either through personal face to face encounters or even with personal phone calls/Facetime, it has taken away from the realness of actually seeing and speaking with our friends, family, and others. Oftentimes, communication gets "lost," words become misunderstood, and our reality becomes skewed by technology. You cannot emphasize your words or express your feelings just through emojis and bold capitalized letters. This is what makes communication impersonal and somewhat "cold." We don't get to express our true selves or even our true feelings because all you have to do is erase, rewrite, edit, and eliminate the realness of our raw emotions.

Is there anyone you know who may or may not have access to the internet and wouldn’t choose to be on social media at all?

Yes, I have a lot of friends who have access to the Internet who choose not to get on social media simply because they don't want to deal with some of the cons of social media, for example the drama or "mess" that some people like to keep up on social media.

If there was a way you could change social media, whether it’s controlling whoever sees your page or filtering inappropriate posts, what would you decide?

If there was a way to interact and communicate with others on social media without the drama and judgement of others on how you express yourself, that would make social media a happier and safer medium. But until there is (other than keeping your posting to a bare minimum as I do on IG) social media will continue to grow and "mutate" into what people want it to be, whether for good or for bad.

If there’s ever been a person you met online, would you ever like the chance to meet with them in real life?

I have met a couple of really good people online that I have become good friends with in real life. So in that way, social media has played a good role and was used for good.

Overall, how do you feel about your online experience?

Overall my experience with social media has been 50/50, good and bad. My experience on FB was not a pleasant one in the end. But so far my experience on IG has been half good and half bad. IG is great for information and learning about things and places that interest you and sharing your ideas and feelings with others about your interests. At the same time you have those who "troll" and bring unnecessary drama that can ruin your online experience.

Lastly, I asked one of my online friends Taylor, for her story.

Could you list a few social media sites or apps that you use?

Instagram, Kik, Snapchat.

How much time do you think you spend on these apps? Daily, weekly? How many hours?

Instagram is an app I use less, only about fifteen to thirty minutes daily, and nearly an hour or two a week. Snapchat an Kik are ones I use frequently, every day. At least a couple of hours during the week, and about six or seven during the weekend.

What drives YOU to social media? Is it potential internet fame, gaming online, simply chatting with people, or to inform anyone about any issues that might affect them or yourself? And at the same time, could you also explain WHY you choose to be on social media. Is it because it’s trendy, or your friends told you that you had to join them? I would like to hear your story on your first exposure to an app that allowed you to reach others online.

Honestly, on social media, what drives me is having fun. I simply do it to chat with people. When it comes to things such as Kik or Snapchat, it's mostly given to close friends. Yet on Instagram, I like to find people with common interest and strike a conversation. Instagram was the first app I used which allowed me to reach others online, and my friend made me the account so we could communicate and share things easier.

Could you describe some of the people you interact with online? Do you strictly surround yourself with only the people you know in real life, or are you there to only chat with people of interest who you only know on these apps or is there a combination of both?

I chat with both people who have a common interest, and with people I know in real life. The people I usually interact with online are people who are down to earth, comedic, not rude, and understanding of others; they usually all have something in common with me.

I’m beginning to use this phrase called “the great escape” which refers to this new age of social media and the impact of the internet on everyone’s lives where you can see how people may live from post to post. You may see certain people online actively tell all their followers about what they’re doing in that exact second or the next, or posting unneeded intimate information about their lives. Has this ever been you or one of your friends? Do you ever go online to “escape” from reality?

In all honesty, yes. I have used online to so-call "escape" from reality and occasional things around me. It is good to be able to talk about topics that interest me and things that can relieve the stress on me. Especially when people around me may not understand or judge me. And yes, I know people who have done this before, also.

I do agree. I also consider it like split personalities. For example, in person, someone could be more secluded, hardly talking to people around them or going to parties they were invited to. Yet on social media, the same person can come off as energetic and outgoing. They could seem confident in themselves, despite being the opposite.

We all know there are people from older generations who think spending time online isn’t as social as meeting people face to face; That being on your phone all the time is a real distraction. Would you agree or disagree?

Being on your phone can be a distraction in serious cases, yet overall? I say no. If I was attending a family gathering for the holidays, and all of my relatives have broken off into sections to do various things (such as watch TV, clean up in the kitchen, or gossip about the newest news regarding my family or the world in general) I'd most likely be left alone. I'm not a very social person to begin with, so I would tend to isolate myself. After I do so, I would most likely pull out my phone. On my phone, I cannot only call/text a friend of mine who could be with their own family, but I can also watch videos to entertain myself. I wouldn't have to force myself to make conversations with my already busy relatives. Then, I could always put my phone away when everyone begins to come together for activities. Therefore, I believe it isn't a distraction.

Is there anyone you know who may or may not have access to the internet and wouldn’t choose to be on social media at all?

Yes, I do know people who have access to the internet and choose not to engage in social media.

If there was a way you could change social media, whether it’s controlling whoever sees your page or filtering inappropriate posts, what would you decide?

I would change the stereotype revolving around social media. The stereotype is that to become popular on social media, you have to post things about your recent clothing - or a recent artist you went to see live. Or the stereotypical way that you have to be on trend with everything. The trend is that you can't be lame to succeed and have followers on social media. That's what I'd change.

If there’s ever been a person you met online, would you ever like the chance to meet with them in real life?

Yes, I would.

Overall, how do you feel about your online experience?

I have had a few negative online experiences where I have ever felt uncomfortable, so I'd say that my overall online experience has been really decent indeed.

the great escape

People should recognize how powerful social media is. It's normal for teens like me because it's really been in our lives since we were able to hold a phone in our hands. I mean, compared to my generation on how likes define lives, we really base our self worth on how people ONLINE see us compared to how our friends see us. These topics could lead into teen depression, self harm, or even suicide. Once you begin an account on Instagram or Tumblr, you're really just really beginning the first stage of your second life.