Sex/Trust Today

Generation Z on casual sex and relationships

This question focuses on generation z, (babies born from the mid 1900s to the early 2000s). Casual sex or a committed relationship? The generation born between the mid 1990’s and early 2000’s grapples with this question. What does it mean that many in this generation fear long term relationships while there are many who decide to partake in one?

Today I interviewed a few high school seniors on the topic. I got the point of view of both boys and girls. There was no distinct stance for the boys or girls. Some agreed that relationships are too much of a distraction right now. Others agreed that now is a time to make mistakes and be free to learn from their experiences.

After gathering this information and hearing from multiple points of view I can finally say that this was an interesting argument. From most of the males I got the answer that sex is the better option at this age. Participant A, a male high school senior at Carver High School, says “Being in one relationship, that really doesn’t give you much freedom to do what you want or be with who you want. The casual sex factor, that allows you to have fun and get experience.” He believes that at a younger stage you should experience life to the fullest and not grow up too fast, enjoy the lifestyle while it's here, and explore the possibilities.

However, Ayanna Abdul-Ali, a female high school senior, had a different preference. She believes that the idea of having sex rather than a committed relationship is not only because of the ideology Participant A supports but because of the nature of the teenagers upbringing. As she stated in our interview “I feel like a lot of kids are children of divorced parents so they see that relationships don’t really tend to work. Their reasoning is that they’re young and they wanna experience having sex without having any strings attached and they know that the relationship most likely won’t work.” Abdul-Ali believes that young adults are impacted by the relationships around them. Therefore, a relationship may not be viewed as something to aspire to. Abdul-Ali also states that she herself is the child of divorced parents but still pursues relationships because despite those around you, if you want it to work it can work. She also includes that she wouldn't want to do something so “emotional and invasive” with someone she's not connected with. “It could cause me to be emotionally attached to that person and I wouldn't want to be attached to someone that would want to leave right after.” After hearing these points from Abdul-Ali I proceeded on asking her if she feels that people who who become divorced have failed because they haven't had enough practice or experience with relationships when they were younger. She responded saying, “I definitely think that’s a part of the problem. I think you should start in high school when you’re obviously of age and not hop around and not really learning about relationships and just learning about sex. I think you should definitely have knowledge from when you’re younger so that you won’t make mistakes when you’re older that’ll cost you more.” Abdul-Ali thinks starting relationships younger and understanding the ropes is more important than sex. And in the long run it may be.

Apart from these beliefs, relationship counselor Hailee Walker reports that this generation is afraid of commitment because “Too much choice is paralyzing; the more options we have, the more we fear we'll make the wrong decision.” In addition, this is the only generation that has to have to adapt to new technologies. This generation is “over connected.” Young people watch celebrities and reality shows that teach them love is momentary, fickle, and withholds agony and disappointment. The idea is “Why settle when you can simply move from one option to the next?” Furthermore, there's dating apps that lets you hold all your options in hand. You never truly make a connection with these people. The goal is to pick the best option. Why settle for one good date if there's a possibility that another could be better. Going back to being overconnected, Walker states that this generation is “overconnected disconnect.” In order for us to have trust in another there needs to be a personal connection. This generation is stripped of this the most because of the growing use of technology. Previous generations have had more personal connections because there was more human interaction. Walker elaborates on how much the environment has affected young people's decisions and preferences to this topic. Lastly, it is said that most of this generation are children of the Baby Boomers, a generation with the highest divorce ratings. This could also contribute to the young generations decisions.

Ultimately, this generation is so afraid of commitment and more comfortable with sex because of these reasons. There may be more variables that I have not explored but as you can see there are many things that contribute to the popular mindset. For Carver students most of these, if not all, factors will apply to their stance they choose to take. But it is up to them and all members of this generation to make their own decisions and decide their reality. For further investigations the variables will change. It may not be drastic but technology is always upgrading and new ideas are constantly being configured. For future generations the stakes may be worse.