Jokes Everybody Has Forgotten Subpage 4

151. What black and shines in the dark? Oakland.

152. What did Lincoln after his 5-day drunken binge? I freed who.

153. Why do Blacks wear white gloves? So that they don’t bite off their fingers eating Tootsie Rolls.

154. If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be? A fur coat.

155. Did you hear about the brand new Jewish tires? They not only stop on a dime, they pick it up.

156. What’s the difference between a vulture and a Jewish mother? At least a vulture waits until your dead to eat your heart out.

157. What’s a Jewish American Princess’ favorite position? Facing Bloomingdales.

158. What’s a Jewish American Princess’ idea of natural childbirth? Absolutely use no make-up.

159. What’s the difference between a circumcision and a crucifixion? In a crucifixion they throw out the whole Jew.

160. Why do Jewish American Princess’ close their eyes while screwing? So they can pretend that they are shopping.

161. What does a Jewish American Princess do during a nuclear holocaust? Gets out a sun reflector to try and tan herself.

162. Did you hear about the Polish abortion clinic? It has a yearlong waiting list.

163. Did you hear the Polish hockey team drowned? Spring training.

164. How do you break a Polish man’s finger? Hit him in the nose.

165. Did you hear about the Polish man who went out and bought four snow tires? They melted on the way back home.

166. Did you hear about the Polish man who lost $%0 dollars on a football game?$25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay.

167. What’s green and flies over Poland? Peter Panski.

168. What do you call a Polish man with 2000 girlfriends? A shepherd or sheep herder.

169. What happens when a Polish man doesn’t pay his water bill? They stop delivering trash to him.

170. Why do farts smell? So deaf and blind people can hate them too.

171. Did you hear the one about the queer deaf mute? Neither did he.

172. What goes “Marc, Marc?” A dog with a hair lip.

173. What goes “Nort, Nort?” A bull with a cleft palate.

174. What did the Polish man do before going to the cockfight? He greased his zipper.

175. Did you hear about the man who couldn’t spell? He spent the night in a whorehouse.

176. Why can’t you circumcise Iranians? There’s just no end to those pricks.

177. Did you hear about the guy who got his vasectomy don’t at Sears? Every time he gets a hard on the garage door opens.

178. Why do women rub their eyes when they get out of bed in the morning? Because they don’t have balls to scratch.

179. How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? If her ankles swell up when she farts.

180. Why is it so great to be a test tube baby? Because you get a womb with a view.

181. Why do women have two holes so close together? In case you miss.

182. What do you get when you cross a gay Eskimo and a Black? A snow blower that doesn’t work.

183. What’s the definition of confusion? 20 blind Lesbians at a fish market.

184. Is it better to be born black or gay? Black because you don’t have to tell your parents.

185. What did Grace Kelly have that Natalie Wood could have used? A good hand stroke.

186. Who taught Grace Kelly how to drive? Ted Kennedy.

187. What’s blue and sings alone? Dan Ackroyd.

188. What’s the difference between a moose and Guy Lombardo’s orchestras? With a moose the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the rear.

189. What do you get when you cross a deer with a pickle? A dildo.

190. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common? They both like a tight seal.

191. What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind as it hits your windshield? It’s asshole.

192. Why did the British ships come back from the Falkland Islands full of sheep? War brides.

193. What do elephants use for condoms? The Goodyear Blimp.

194. What do you do when you come across an elephant? Wipe it off.

195. What do you get when you cross a Polish man and a monkey? Nothing. A monkey is too smart to screw a Polish man.

196. A Black man and a Mexican girl get married, they have a little boy child, what do they name him? Retarded.

197. Why did Helen Keller’s dog pee on her furniture? He was blind still.

198. What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to his relatives at Thanksgiving Dinner when they asked if he was having his neighbors over for the dinner? “Okay, pass the freaking potatoes.”

199. What did the Black man’s wife tell her husband to dress up for Halloween when all he had was two cotton balls, a white belt, and a 2’ by 4’ to use? You could dress up as a domino, an Oreo cookie, or a fudge cycle.

200. What do you call two gay Irish Men for names? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.

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