Men, Women Love & Sex

God is sexual

Men think about sex and in sexual pictures a lot.

The reason for this is, that God is sexual and men were created in His image.

27. So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.28. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Genesis 1:27-28

The first instruction to Man, after being created, was profoundly sexual and was given as a clear type and shadow of Gods own sexual nature. The very image of God, is “Male & Female”.

How profound, how telling, how exciting!

The sexual nature of God not weird or shameful or tolerable - it is wonderful.

Sex in Love Romance and Marriage

The powerful magic between a man and a woman, falling in love, becoming one flesh and having kids shows us much, if not everything, about God.

Sex is for love, fellowship, beauty, celebration, entertainment, procreation, recreation. Sex is how and why we fill the earth and make the Kingdom come. Jesus reward for the cross is a virgin.

1. Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea.2. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.3. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God.

Revelation 21:1-3

Sex is not exclusively physical or emotional or spiritual, but all of that combined. Our masculinity and femininity runs much deeper than our bodies.

Understanding sex

As adult Christians, we should understand, embrace and celebrate sex and see and explain it is as the ultimate parable, or type and shadow, of God's relationship with the church as his wife.

25. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,26. that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,27. that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.28. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.29. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.30. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.31. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”32. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.33. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:25-33

Sex, sexuality and gender roles are woven into life, community, personality and church life. Understanding the blessing that sex is and teaching and guiding our children and the church and world is a profound stewardship, and yet the church has remarkably little to say about it.

When last have you heard a great sermon on sex, as type and shadow of God's purpose in the earth? Why was the sign of the Abrahamic Covenant circumcision?

The world is running wild on sex and getting into so much confusion and unnatural things, while the church is largely silent, or seemingly afraid.

The old adage: “all evil needs to prosper, is for good men to do nothing” certainly applies here.

St Augustine of Hippo

The churches avoidance and even negative view on sex comes largely from the church father, St Augustine of Hippo. It is a plot of the Devil that much of our doctrine of sex comes from a man who’s own experience was firstly, extremely sinful, and then in over reaction, very ascetic.

Augustine was given to terrible debauchery and perverse sex as a young man and when he was saved, he could still never really see sex as good and Godly. Augustine is a “Doctor of the Roman Catholic church” and one of the eight most important foundational teachers. Augustine is largely the father of the priestly celibacy for Roman Catholics, hardly a model for a healthy understanding of sex, as we can see in all the perversion coming from this source. Martin Luther and many of the reformers had and slightly enlightened view of sex and sexuality but were still largely influenced by Catholic thinking on the matter.

The Victorian era was also famous for suppressing sex and sexuality in public, but given to tremendous sin and excesses in secret.

Let’s talk about sex baby.

Not talking about sex or hoping young people and married people will get it right without any information or teaching is really quite ridiculous. Young men are told not to masturbate and not to watch porn but they are not told anything good, profound exciting life-giving or prophetic about sex.

Sex, sex-drive, sexuality, testosterone and estrogen drive our natural lives. This so by glorious design and yet, about this most powerful of human experiences, young people are left to "google" the answer. The unbelievers have much to say and locker room talk is plentiful, especially in the absence of proper Spiritual guidance on sex.

The church mostly leaves young men with fear, guilt and shame or irritation. Sexual desire and excitement is wrongfully called “lust” and vilified. The reality is when young people are drawn to each other sexually and have strong desires, that is not lust, it is God’s design. Terms and conditions apply, yes for sure, but what good and exciting things has your pastor told you about sex and God's role with it?

Lust

“Lust” in the Bible is a consuming obsession to have something you should not have. Lust in the Bible is not essentially sexual. Lust can relate to money, fame, glory, ministry or any other human pursuit. Obviously lust can pertain to sex but we are not doing, ourselves any favour by villainizing sexual attraction between young men and women. Most Christian marriages are sexless and boring and sex is not seen as a powerful platform for building great marriages. Sex is the most powerful tool in fact, for bonding a couple and keeping them loyal and close to each other.

Woelmuis

I read a book a few years ago about the profound impact sex has on a little mouse species, called the “woelmuis”. When the little male meets the little girl he gets so excited and happy about her and then copulates with her 30 times a day for two weeks. She lets him go and in fact enjoys the intimacy, affection, passion and appreciation he has for her. She has a few orgasms too!

Orgasms create powerful bonding neurochemicals in our brains and we bond profoundly to the person we share them with. The little girl woelmuis leaves him to have all the fun he wants, and she obviously enjoys the ride too.

Then after 30 days she is profoundly pregnant. The little guy has literally blown his mind and is now permanently in love with her and follows her sheepishly around and feeds her and the babies she bears. He is a loyal loving husband for life because of all the sex she gave him. Hallelujah.! How cool. How exciting! And how Godly!

I realize this example is a bit extreme, and overly simplistic, but the reality is that sex bonds couples. The conditions are important and women need a safe and warm emotional environment to enjoy the sex. That implies that the husband must endeavor to create such an environment, but it does not mean she has the right to deny or manipulate him if things are not completely to her liking.

3. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.4. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.5. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Healing and understanding required

Sadly, many woman were abused in their youth and in such cases real healing therapy and realignment is required. This healing is possible in the Holy Spirit but requires proper intervention. Husbands and wives must make concerted intelligent effort to get it right. The general feeling in the media and unfortunately in church too is that sex in marriage is a boring chore and not worth the effort. Little wonder the youth are not motivated by their parents and pastors lackluster marriages to stay virgin. If it is a schlep once married why bother? If all the pastor has to say about sex is don’t masturbate and not watch porn then really? What is the point?

Getting it right for both husband and wife is not difficult and the rewards are spectacular. Couples that have great sex don’t divorce. Fact! Great sex takes time, skill and understanding to be mutually gratifying and we need preaching teaching and guidance and healing to achieve that. Celibate priest are not a great source of help here, and to be honest I don’t know many pastors who talks about sex as good and powerful. I wish there were more pastors, like Mark Gungor, who is excited and verbal about sex.

Young men and women need to understand where sex fist into God’s scheme of things, and if sex was preached, and explained to young as good, as marital glue, as excitement love and passion, and then as covenantal, the young people would have much more understanding context and hope for their own temptations.

Healthy Sex & Sexuality

In the Garden sex was celebrated, blessed and man was commanded to engage in it. It sounds a bit too good to be true, but there it is.

Enjoyment is the highest form of obedience and once we have been set free by the Spirit we can, and do have a quality of life that is millions of times better than the biological cursed existing from before.

Genesis 1:27-28