“He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“Insanity is contagious.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.”
“Every writer I know has trouble writing.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“He was never without misery, and never without hope.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“-You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“When I grow up I want to be a little boy.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
“He was one of those people with lots of intelligence but no brains”
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
"It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character."
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
"Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it."
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
"In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental."
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
"It is the anonymous "they," the enigmatic "they" who are in charge. Who is "they"? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even "they" themselves."
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
"I'm gonna live forever, or die trying."
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
"From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes."
― Joseph Heller (1923-1999)