Dorothy Parker

cure boredom curiosity

"The Cure For Boredom Is Curiosity. There Is No Cure For Curiosity."

— Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

beauty skin deep ugly bone

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

god money people

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

heterosexual normal common

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

martini two table host

“I like to have a martini,

Two at the very most.

After three I'm under the table,

after four I'm under my host.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

fuck busy

“Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

four things know without champagne die

"Four be the things I am wiser to know:

Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

Four be the things I'd been better without:

Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

Three be the things I shall never attain:

Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

Three be the things I shall have till I die:

Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

hangover wrath grapes

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

women elephant forget

“Women and elephants never forget.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

bottle front frontal lobotomy

“I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

envy content champagne

“Three be the things I shall never attain:

Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

young bold strong old good bad

“When I was young and bold and strong,

The right was right, the wrong was wrong.

With plume on high and flag unfurled,

I rode away to right the world.

But now I’m old - and good and bad,

Are woven in a crazy plaid.

I sit and say the world is so,

And wise is s/he who lets it go.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

teach old dogma new trick

“You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.”

― Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)