Chapter 6

~Returning Character~

Mary

~New Characters Introduced~

The Mayor, Enta, Ronda, Jack, Volkner, Palmer, and Bertha

Original Date of Post: 11/02/2008

Narrator: The following chapter takes place during an election year and may be offensive to liberal hippies, right-wing nut-jobs, Bush supporters, FOX News junkies, the state of California, crazies, weirdos, chicken-heads, and crack-heads. Viewer discretion is advised.

Misty: Do you all mind telling me what you’re all doing in my room?

Tracey: Marisa called us and told us to get over here ASAP.

Kelly: Yeah, she said it was important for us as voting citizens. What do you think it could mean?

Marcus: It either means she has the decapitated head of George W. Bush and needs an alibi or she’s gotten on television for doing something involving the local election.

Ash: You really think she can get on TV for that?

Tracey: Of course. You know how Marisa can get political about any topic.

Misty: No kidding! For my 18th birthday, she gave me a voter registration form.

Brock: Cheap way out of getting you a real gift.

Misty: I wouldn’t talk if I were you! You gave me a condom…out of the wrapper!

Marcus: Well she’s been doing a lot of campaigning when it comes to getting Enta elected.

Kelly: So what exactly does she do?

Marcus: Goes to rallies, answers phones at the main headquarters, and other tasks.

Brock: Well if she’s doing that, I want to yell at her for having her goons call my phone while I was eating.

Marcus: You know she’s not in charge over there so she has no control over the phone calls. Secondly, she would never do that job. She said she’d be an absolute hypocrite if she ever had to do that. And more to the point, she’s getting people to vote for Enta.

Brock: He’s going up against the mayor we have now? (Groans) Great, another sausage fest! For once can we have a woman run for something in this town? Why can’t we be like California?

Marcus: The only place where an Austrian who speaks broken English, a black midget, and a porn star can run for governor.

Brock: I’d kill for an election like that. But no! We just have two old farts running for mayor. (The door opens)

Marisa: Hi everybody! (All gasp) What now?

Tracey: When did you get your nose pierced?

Kelly: Where’d you get the fishnet shirt?

Brock: When did you become such a goth?

Marisa: I’m not a goth! I just decided to change up my look a little bit. Plus, I was helping out at the mall and got some extra time off and so I went into Hot Topic and got a little something. And then the pierce shop!

Marcus: I can understand Hot Topic because you love any place that would be more than happy to play Marilyn Manson, but the nose piercing…

Marisa: It’s just a little bead on the nose.

Tracey: What’s next, a tattoo?

Kelly: Breast implants?

Brock: Ha! Like she needs them! Her breasts already swing past her belly button! (She hits him) What’d you do that for?

Marisa: You had it coming!

Tracey: So why did you call us over?

Marcus: Did you finally kill Bush?

Marisa: Nope. Something else! Earlier today, I was interviewed by Rhonda, this lady who has a radio show on campus.

Marcus: Whoa! Hold the phone! You mean Republican Rhonda?

Marisa: The one and the same! I know how she is on the radio normally, but we actually had a nice conversation. And, our interview is going to be on today’s show.

Brock: Okay, but it’s going to be about politics right? I don’t want to hear you girls chit-chatting about make-up and boys. I hear enough of that when Harley has The View on in the mornings. (She turns on the radio)

Rhonda: Hi there people, it’s your voice for the young people here at Pallet University, I am Rhonda and welcome to our show. You know, I’ll tell you right now. It just warms my heart to know that I am not the only person of my generation who is into politics. I take back what I said in recent days of young people not caring about elections, political leaders, and so on. I met this very interesting young lady, who looked like she was on her way to a Slayer concert. (Laughing) But seriously, it is great to see such enthusiasm within our generation. It’s a damn shame that she’s an idiot!

Marisa: Excuse me, bitch!

Rhonda: I had an interview with this girl and I just felt so sorry for her.

Narrator: Five minutes of belittling later!

Rhonda: And we’ll be back with more of our show after a few words from our sponsors.

Marisa: (Frustrated growl) I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT BITCH! She bad mouths me over the air and doesn’t even play a damn clip from our interview. She just tells it from her own point of view and spins the truth.

Marcus: That’s Republican Rhonda for you! She’s a prettier version of Bill O’Reilly.

Tracey: Relax Marisa. She might play something from the interview after the commercial break.

Marcus: Were you at least being recorded?

Marisa: Yeah. She had a little video camera when we talked and told me that it would play on today’s show.

Tracey: She’ll probably play after the commercials. You’re overreacting!

Brock: Anybody else notice that she’s only playing commercials supporting our current mayor?

Marcus: Republican Rhonda at work! She’s the mayor’s daughter! Marisa, I hate to say it because I fear your wrath, but you are VERY gullible to think that the daughter of the most corrupt mayor since Rudy Gulliani was going to give you a fair shot over the air waves.

Marisa: You’re right.

Marcus: I am? I mean, of course I am!

Narrator: Approximately 50 minutes later…

Rhonda: And that’s today’s show. Join us tomorrow…

Marisa: That bitch! (Shuts off radio)

Ash: Huh? What happened? Were you on?

Marisa: Shut up Ash and go back to your precious slumber. You didn’t miss anything!

Tracey: So much for optimism!

Brock: Well, thank you for wasting an hour of my life that I could be with cute girls.

Marisa: Go sniff your mother’s underwear and save your stupid babbling for someone who gives a flying fuck! (Brock leaves)

Misty: Okay, now that was cruel. Don’t take your frustration out on Brock!

Marisa: You know what, you’re absolutely right. (She walks out of the room)

Tracey: Uh-oh! (He runs after her)

Marcus: Marisa wait! (He runs out the door)

Tracey: Now, don’t do anything drastic!

Marisa: Drastic, no! If I were going to do something drastic I would have slashed the bitch’s tires.

Marcus: Hey, come on little buddy! Let’s just forget the whole thing!

Tracey: I’ll get a pizza with your favorite toppings! Pepperoni and sausage and tomatoes and...

Marisa: Oh sure, fatten me up! Get out of my way! (She keeps on walking)

Marcus: You’re getting soft!

Tracey: Am not! Let’s follow her before she does something unpredictable.

Marcus: Right behind you! (A few minutes later at the radio station)

Rhonda: What a day!

Todd: Great show today Rhonda.

Rhonda: Thank you Todd. I’m so glad you’re here to make the homepage of our website the greatest. I don’t know what we’d do without you. (The door opens)

Marisa: There you are!

Rhonda: Oh, it’s you!

Marisa: Yes, it’s me. What the hell was that? Bad-mouthing my character and spinning the truth into your own web of lies!

Rhonda: Look sweetie. It’s a little thing I call radio! Sometimes, you have to make someone look bad just to get the ratings.

Todd: And we had a high tune-in rate today!

Marcus: I should have known you would do something like this. Some friend you are!

Todd: All in the good name of journalism I always say!

Marisa: More like sleaziness!

Rhonda: That’s how this business works honey! You’ve got to put up or shut up!

Marisa: Oh, I’ll shut you up...for good!

Rhonda: I’d like to see you try. Jack, show these guys the exit! Jack?

Jack: Boobies! (Giggles)

Rhonda: Huh?

Marisa: A lecher! How fitting to have a lecher and a snake work on your program!

Rhonda: What about you and your goons?

Marisa: Eh? This is not about my goons!

Marcus: Yeah, we’re not goons!

Marisa: Shut up, you goon! I see what’s going on here. You’re a little punk bitch. Yeah, that’s right. You hide behind your father. Well, you’ll have nothing to hide behind, Princess. Once he loses the campaign in a couple of days, Enta will be our new mayor and maybe you'll get a little decline in your tune-in rate!

Rhonda: That’s what you think! With my help, Father’s reputation is better than ever.

Marisa: The people are ready for a change. And not the same old song and dance!

Rhonda: And why would the good people of this town hand over the care to some inexperienced fool. If you ask me…

Marisa: No one asked you Princess! Of what I can tell, your father being the mayor has undoubtedly helped your radio career. But if he loses, you might lose ratings and eventually get booted off the air. (Rhonda growls) And when that day comes, I’ll be there to watch your short career burn to the ground. (Back at the dorms)

Misty: How did it go over there?

Marcus: My so-called friend Todd is working for the enemy. I knew he was slime when he joined the Republican party, but this is a new low.

Misty: She didn’t kill anybody over there, did she?

Tracey: No. Almost got into a fight with Rhonda and almost put out a restraining order against one of her workers.

Marisa: That goon was staring at my breasts! Bet it was the first pair of double d’s he’s seen since he took off his shirt and looked in the mirror. I didn’t know if he wanted to squeeze them or eat them like chicken! But I’m not going to pick a fight with the pervert because it’s not about him. It’s about that bitch, Rhonda! She did that intentionally so that she can make our mayor look like the greatest thing since Reagan!

Marcus: So are you going to let this die?

Marisa: Not a chance! Everyone has got something to hide. I intend to find out what she’s hiding.

Tracey: You know something?

Marisa: Oh, I have a theory I’d like to test out.

Marcus: A theory?

Marisa: Do you remember four years ago when that slime-bag narrowly won the election?

Marcus: How could I forget? They had to count the ballots by hand! It was more retarded than the Bush vs. Gore election.

Marisa: Not that far from it. If you remember correctly, there were voting problems in the more urban parts of the city. You know the ones! People who would most likely not vote for the white republican!

Marcus: I betcha they threw out my parents votes.

Marisa: We don’t know that Marcus for sure! But what I’m sure of is that the mayor had something to do with that incident. And if I can try to find some sort of connection with Rhonda, I can use it against her and then I can crush her like an ant.

Misty: Are you so desperate to beat Rhonda that you would bring up stuff from four years ago?

Marcus: Plus little buddy, I don’t think she would have anything to do with her father’s last election since her biography online says she was only 17 and living in Houston, Texas.

Marisa: Damn! Oh well, worth a shot. (The next afternoon at the Enta campaign rally)

Enta: Come Election Day, we shall prevail and we shall finally make our town better than it has ever been. (Cheering and clapping) Thank you folks for all of your support! (Music playing)

Marisa: I just hope he can beat that crook.

Mary: I hope so too.

Marisa: Huh? Mary, holy crap! I haven’t seen you in a while. What are you doing here? Is your radio station doing something here?

Mary: No, but several of my co-workers from the station are here. I’m a fellow Enta supporter. I have a good feeling that we can overthrow that tyrant we have as mayor.

Marisa: I really hope so. This election has gotten so ugly.

Mary: What do you expect? The right-wing slams from all angles during any election and make up things that aren’t even true. Hillary Clinton used to be seen as respectable until the far-right got to her. Now everyone hates her!

Marisa: Mary, I don’t understand why you’re working in that pop music station. You should be on the campus radio station instead of that bitch, Republican Rhonda!

Mary: Oh do not get me started on her. The fact that she’s the mayor’s daughter is just sickening. The way her show is set up just makes me want to throw up! There’s just something about her that makes me uneasy.

Marisa: You and me both! (Two boys walk up)

Mary: Oh, and look who it is? It’s the great Rock DJ’s Volkner and Palmer! Since when are you guys politically active?

Volkner: Since our current mayor is a corrupt pile of crap!

Mary: Then why don’t you talk about it on the air?

Volkner: One, we’d most likely be fired. The boss doesn’t pay us to give opinions on things that really matter. He only pays us to rip on celebrities and play music. Second, our listeners are giant fart-knockers who don’t care about the issues.

Marisa: Excuse me, but I’m one of those listeners.

Volkner: You don’t say. (Puts his arm around her) Say sweet cheeks, how’s about we…

Marisa: One more word from your mouth and its sexual harassment!

Volkner: Fair enough. (Takes his arm off her) Fine, not all of my listeners are fart-knockers! But I can’t wait for Election Day when we finally send the S.O.B. out of office!

Palmer: I wish I could…But as you are well aware, convicted felons are not allowed to vote.

Volkner: Yes we know, Mr. Constant-D.U.I.

Palmer: Oh yeah, you guys were talking about Republican Rhonda?

Marisa: That bitch.

Volkner: You’re not alone. I can’t stand her either. You should have seen how pissed I was when they dropped that investigation from the last election. There was a glitch in some of the voting machines! The people who voted for the other guy voted for the jackass! But there wasn’t enough evidence to throw anybody in jail here.

Palmer: Don’t mind him. He’s such a conspiracy theorist!

Marisa: Tell me more.

Volkner: Well rumor has it that there was a main computer that someone hacked into somewhere in Spring, Texas and switched the votes around.

Marisa: Spring, Texas? Huh…Interesting.

Mary: What’s so interesting?

Marisa: I’m going to back her into a corner.

Mary: Wait, what did Republican Rhonda ever do to you?

Marisa: She trashed my character and in my book if you do that, you’re going down. One way or another!

Volkner: I hate to get on your bad side. So um…how about you give me a call sometime? I can get you backstage at a few choice concerts.

Marisa: As much as your offer entices me, I do have a boyfriend. And I also have a baseball bat if you continue persisting!

Volkner: Okay, I’m backing down.

Palmer: Smooth, Romeo. (A little later in Marisa’s room)

Marisa: I knew I’d find something to your downfall. (The door opens)

Misty: Back from your rally?

Marisa: Yup. Now, I’m just doing a little research over the computer. If that perverted deejay is right, I’m going to trap her. (Looks at the clock) Ah, and just in time. (Turns on the radio)

Rhonda: …Where tomorrow we shall be joined by Dean Bertha! Now we shall turn to the callers.

Marisa: And here we go! (Dials the phone)

Misty: Marisa, please remember not to cuss. So don’t call her the “C” word!

Marisa: Yeah, shut up, it’s ringing. (At the station)

Rhonda: First caller, you’re on the air.

Marisa: Yes hello Rhonda. Long time listener, first time caller!

Rhonda: Very nice to hear that.

Marisa: Yes well, I’ve found some interesting coincidences that you might be interested in. I read that you went to school in Houston, Texas around the same time your father was up for mayor in the last election.

Rhonda: Yes.

Marisa: But I also learned about an investigation of voter fraud linking to a main computer in Spring, Texas. Now if I’m not mistaking, that’s where you were living while you went to school.

Rhonda: Who is this?

Marisa: Never mind who this is.

Rhonda: Hmm… (Presses the disconnect button) Oh, looks like we lost our caller. (Back at the dorms)

Marisa: I knew she’d hang up on me. That just means I’ve backed her into a corner and stepped on her toes.

Misty: So your theory might be right?

Marisa: Perhaps. I would have to dig up more information. I’m taking my sweet time with this. I do have school work, you know. (Back at the station)

Todd: That was tense!

Jack: I wonder what she was really talking about.

Todd: I would think it was someone who hates Rhonda and has enough dirt to dig up on her. Uh-oh!

Jack: What’s wrong?

Todd: I just got the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach. (Thinking) It’s Marisa, I know it has to be her. That girl has so much vengeance inside, she wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to trash Rhonda until she’s satisfied. (In the other room)

Rhonda: And we’ll be back with more of our show in just a few minutes. (Turns off the button) Okay, time to get some answers! (Walks into the other room) TODD!

Todd: (Gulps) Y-Yes ma’am?

Rhonda: I know you know that girl!

Todd: W-What girl?

Rhonda: Don’t play dumb with me! It’s that girl from yesterday. You even told me before that you know her.

Todd: Oh, Marisa! Yeah…she and I…are not close. Nope! Not one bit!

Jack: Boobies!

Todd: Only met her like once…or twice in high school!

Jack: Mmm…boobies!

Rhonda: Tell me something, is she capable of…

Todd: Tearing apart your reputation? Hell yeah! She’s going to ruin you! Save yourself before she gets in too deep!

Rhonda: Relax Todd. I’ve got this covered.

Jack: (Singsong) Boobies! (A little later back at the dorms)

Marisa: Hmm…I knew I shouldn’t have put this off until the last minute.

Misty: You should focus more on your school work than trashing people’s reputation.

Marisa: I used to be able to juggle the two perfectly in high school. Oh well! I shouldn’t beat this into the ground. I’ll focus on my paper now and once I’m done with that, I’ll go back to trashing Rhonda and her sleazebag father.

Misty: Well if your theory is true and hits the streets, Enta would be mayor.

Marisa: One step at a time Misty. For now, my priorities are of destroying that bitch. (She clears her throat) Oh and my school work! (Knock on the door)

Misty: I’ll get that. (Opens the door) Todd?

Todd: Hey Misty!

Misty: If you want Marisa, you’ll have to take a message, she’s studying.

Rhonda: Allow me Todd. Mind if I speak to the little lady?

Marisa: What the hell? (Walks to the door) Just when I thought I couldn’t hate you even more!

Todd: Give me a break!

Marisa: I wasn’t talking to you, you little worm! (Glares at Rhonda)

Rhonda: Take a hike Todd. (He walks away) Marisa, I was wondering if I could have a little chat with you in private.

Marisa: No witnesses?

Rhonda: Meet me at the station in 30 minutes.

Marisa: Deal. (She shuts the door) Well...better get ready for this!

Misty: Give me your weapons!

Marisa: Here! (Gives her a bottle of pepper spray) Do you want to strip search me? That’s all I have!

Misty: Fine, I believe you. (A little later at the station)

Rhonda: You’re a persistent thing, aren’t you?

Marisa: So I’ve been told!

Rhonda: We’re not so different. We both want to spread the good word of politics to the public. I have my radio show, and you have rallies and such.

Marisa: That may be true…But I still didn’t try to screw our city! Look, what was the point of bringing me here?

Rhonda: For your silence…

Marisa: You’re not going to kill me, are you?

Rhonda: Oh, you are quite the character. (Pulls out her checkbook) This here is a check for $5000. You can have this money if you will keep this little secret to yourself. As you can tell, money is no object with me.

Marisa: You’re bribing me with money?

Rhonda: Look Marisa, I’m a changed woman from what I’ve been in the past. It was a one time thing I did with my father’s election. I didn’t like what I did back then, but I learned my lesson. I just want to move on. No one wants to get bogged down with trivial matters of the past, am I right?

Marisa: …Deal!

Rhonda: Deal? Okay then! (Writes the check) You’re making this too easy!

Marisa: Don’t speak, you’re ruining the moment! (That night at the library)

Misty: You seem distracted.

Marisa: Just tired and I kind of feel nauseous.

Misty: You do look pale. Do you want to go back to the room?

Marisa: Nah, I have a few more things to research.

Misty: Oh yeah, you never told me what Rhonda wanted to speak to you about.

Marisa: Oh that…we found some common ground and buried the hatchet.

Misty: Well good for you. I knew you would give up on this whole trash Rhonda high-horse you’ve been riding.

Marisa: Yeah, you’re right.

Misty: I’m going to head back up to the room. Don’t stay too late. (Later that night)

Marisa: (Sighs) This is going to kill me! Well I’ve done all I can do. (Opens a door) Whoops! This isn’t the exit! Huh? (Thinking) Oh…so this is where the school keeps it’s voting machines for Election Day. (Beeping sounds) Hmm…

Rhonda: There we go! All set! (Mischievous laugh) Okay, next one! (Opens the computer)

Marisa: (Thinking) Thought so! (Brings out the video camera) She says she's changed. But this clinches the lie! (Later at the dorms)

Misty: (Yawns) Marisa, you’re just now coming in? (Looks at the clock) It’s almost midnight.

Marisa: I found some interesting things I had to get.

Misty: (Yawns) Well good for you. (Marisa turns on the light) I’m trying to sleep.

Marisa: Misty, I need your help. Operation: Take that bitch down, is back on!

Misty: But…you said you guys buried the hatchet!

Marisa: Utter poppycock. I got enough evidence to bury her six feet under and then-some.

Misty: Really?

Marisa: This is enough dirt to tank her father’s election and maybe even put the two of them in jail.

Misty: Wow! So did you report it?

Marisa: Well, no. The plan is to dish it out on tomorrow’s show. Dean Bertha’s going to be in the studio. I can’t think of a more perfect time to trash her reputation. (Evil laugh)

Misty: So what’d you find out?

Marisa: Can’t tell you yet. You’ll have to wait until the show tomorrow to hear all about it. But I need your help. I need you to help me find a slutty top to wear tomorrow.

Misty: Huh?

Marisa: It’s the only way I can get on the show.

Misty: You’re going to seduce the security guard?

Marisa: Close. I actually have to seduce that pig Rhonda has working on her show.

Misty: Oh, you mean that guy who tried to touch your breasts?

Marisa: Yeah. He can get me on the show. Just give him a nice shot of the girls and he’ll be putty in my hands. Just as long as Tracey doesn’t know what goes on! I knew these double d’s would come in handy one day. (The next afternoon outside the radio station)

Misty: It’s the afternoon already. (Sighs) I'm not ready for this.

Marisa: Don’t back down on me, Misty. You knew the risks last night when I told you. Now all we’ve got to do is wait for Marcus.

Misty: Here he comes!

Marisa: Ah! Marcus, you brought Tracey?

Marcus: No, Tracey brought me!

Marisa: Damn it!

Tracey: What’s wrong? Why don’t you want me here with you?

Marisa: (Sighs) Never mind! Let’s just do this thing! Come on Tracey!

Guard: Hold it kids. Do you have an appointment to see Miss Rhonda?

Tracey: Yes we do! We’re special guests on her show today.

Guard: Name?

Marisa: Actually, we’re representatives for Dean Bertha. The two of us!

Guard: Uh-huh?

Marisa: Yes, we forgot to give her something before she left for the studio. We’ll be in and out in just a second.

Guard: Now hold on a second…

Marcus: We’ve got to create a diversion to get the guard’s attention. Ah, I’ve got it! I need you to follow my lead Misty. (Grabs Misty’s purse)

Misty: (Screams) ROBBER! HE STOLE MY PURSE! HELP! HELP!

Guard: Hey! (Runs after Marcus)

Marisa: Now’s our chance! (They run inside)

Tracey: Why didn’t you want me coming?

Marisa: Because of something I’m not too happy about.

Tracey: What are you not happy about?

Marisa: You’ll find out in a second. First I have to get on the show.

Tracey: How are you going to do that?

Marisa: Watch and see! (Takes off her coat) Hold this please! (Inside a room)

Todd: I’ve got to take a piss. I’ll be right back. (Goes into the bathroom)

Jack: Okay. (Knock on the door) Coming Rhonda! (Opens the door) Okay, Dean Bertha is in the studio and…Ah! Boo…Boo…Boobies!

Marisa: That’s right big boy! (Unbuttons a button) I’m here! (Tracey’s jaw drops)

Jack: Boobies!

Marisa: I know what you want. (He puts his head in her chest) Boy, you’ve got a one-track mind. (She pushes him away) I need you to do something for me first. Would you like to do something for me? (He nods) Good boy! Is there any way you can get me on today’s show?

Jack: Today’s show? I don’t know! The Dean is going to be with Rhonda the entire hour.

Marisa: Oh… (Seductively) Isn’t there…any way you can get me on the show today?

Jack: I know what to do! I can get you in no sweat! Just leave it to me! Just go into that room with Dean Bertha. I’ll tell them that you’re an extra special guest here to ask questions to the Dean.

Marisa: Deal! I go do this interview with Dean Bertha… (Seductively) And then after that, I’m all yours for the taking! (He drools) Pervert! (Walks to Tracey) Feel free to kick his ass while I’m gone.

Tracey: Here’s your jacket!

Marisa: Sorry you had to witness that Tracey.

Tracey: I understand. (She walks into the main room) Okay Porky! (Cracks knuckles) Time for you to die! (In the room)

Bertha: Oh, hello.

Marisa: Hi Dean Bertha.

Bertha: Oh, do you work for the studio?

Marisa: No, I’m here as another guest today to ask questions later on.

Bertha: Oh, okay. (Rhonda walks in)

Rhonda: What’s going on?

Marisa: Oh hello Rhonda. Well, I got special access to be on your show today to speak to you and Dean Bertha. You don’t have a problem, do you?

Rhonda: Problem? Not a single problem! (Goes to the phone) Oh Jack! (Singsong) Jack!

Todd: Jack stepped out! Rhonda, get back to your station. We’re about to go live! (She runs to the table)

Rhonda: Hello all out there. It’s your voice for the young people, Rhonda here to give you the good word today. In our studio today we have…two guests today. First we have the Dean of Pallet University, Bertha.

Bertha: Good to be here.

Rhonda: And…our special guest. She’s a…

Marisa: Excuse me Rhonda, do you mind if I introduce myself?

Rhonda: Knock yourself out…please!

Marisa: My name is Marisa. I’m actually a freshman here and have a found interest in politics just like Rhonda.

Rhonda: Oh, don’t I know it!

Bertha: My, my, it’s always good to see youth so interested in politics.

Marisa: Well I’ve been that way since I was in my early teen years.

Bertha: Really? I hope you don’t mind me asking you what your party is.

Marisa: Not at all. Well you see, early on in life, I’ve always wanted to be a Democrat. But in high school, I learned that the two party system is just too corrupt and you know, not everyone has to adapt to that. So now I’m an Independent. I say it’s who is best for the job, not what’s best for the party. Although I will say that both parties do come up with some "winners" to represent their party well. And then other times, they just pick any Joe Six-Pack off from the street to be in office. Wouldn’t you agree Rhonda?

Rhonda: (Growls) Well I’ve seen a lot of bad choices when it came to the left.

Marisa: How do you explain George W. Bush? Somebody dropped the ball on that one. I would have to say the same with our current mayor. But why should I compare our mayor to George W. Bush?

Bertha: Besides the fact that they're both republicans.

Marisa: Besides the obvious. Four years ago, there was voter fraud with the mayor election. People turned away from the polls, people being lied to by the Republican party, and then the big one! Hacking the voting machines!

Rhonda: (Chuckling) Yes, well as we all know, the case has been dropped due to lack of evidence.

Marisa: Perhaps. But seeing as our investigators couldn’t put two and two together. You know the people who were set to do that investigation should be fired. Because, desperate times call for desperate measures! Four years ago, your father, our mayor was losing by double digits in the polls. His only way out…a cheat! To hack the computer to make all the other votes go to him. And that’s what I saw last night in the library. Dean Bertha, if you would like to see this video footage.

Bertha: What in the…?

Marisa: Oh, you better believe this is real. Déjà vu, Rhonda? (Rhonda growls) Now I know it seems strange to talk about video footage on a radio show. If you’d like to see the footage of our dear Rhonda rigging voter machines in a video, just go to www.rightwingnutjobs.com. But that’s not all folks! She even admitted to hacking a computer four years ago for her father.

Rhonda: You have no… (Tape plays) Oh, you are quite the character. (Pulls out her checkbook) This here is a check for $5000. You can have this money if you will keep this little secret to yourself. As you can tell, money is no object with me.

Marisa: You’re bribing me with money?

Rhonda: Look Marisa, I’m a changed woman from what I’ve been in the past. It was a one time thing I did with my father’s election. I didn’t like what I did back then, but I learned my lesson. I just want to move on. No one wants to get bogged down with trivial matters of the past, am I right? (Tape stops)

Marisa: Ah, the trusty tape recorder. Never leave home without it! Oh and here’s the money back from your bribe. I don’t take checks!

Bertha: We’ll be right back after these important messages. (Commercials start playing) Rhonda, I’d like a word with you.

Marisa: I’ll leave you two alone then. (She leaves the room) Check and mate! Tracey, what’d you do to Jack?

Tracey: I showed him who the only man in your life is!

Marisa: Oh, I love you! Let’s go before he comes to! (Later that night at the dorms)

Marcus: Here’s to Marisa! The true reason why the little buddies of the world have a big voice!

Misty: Cheers! Sorry that security guard gave you that black-eye!

Marcus: Heh-heh! Yeah well I had to think quick and that was the only thing I could come up with.

Marisa: Sometimes I wonder if I’m getting too old for these mischievous acts I do. But I just pull myself together and say that it was worth it. I almost feel sorry for Rhonda losing her radio show. But next time, don’t ever bash my character or I will take you out.

Tracey: You certainly took care of Rhonda!

Marisa: Tracey, again I apologize for what you saw!

Tracey: Oh, don’t worry about it! I don’t feel uncomfortable by it one bit! (He kisses her)

Marisa: Isn’t he sweet?

Marcus: Well now that this has happened, I’m sure that the mayor will have a slight drop in his support and they’ll all vote for Enta.

Marisa: I call that a double victory my friends.

Narrator: Yes my dear friends. We can all learn a valuable lesson here. Bribery is bad! Rigging voting machines is bad! You don’t want to end up fired like Rhonda. And as for the honorable mayor himself, he lost the mayor race to Enta.

Enta: Thank you Pallet!

Narrator: Yes, he will make our town proud. As for Rhonda…give her a couple of months. She’ll be back on the air. Don’t ask! She’s just like Rush Limbaugh or a very gnarly fart in an elevator, she just won’t go away.

~*Preview*~

Dawn: So now Zoey decides all she wants to do is hang around with that freak of nature, Marley all the live long day? Well screw her and her new gothic girlfriend. I’ve got my own friends right here. Tiffany knows how to treat a girl. In fact, things are starting to get a little weird in the terms of romance. What do we have in store in the romance department? Next time on Romance 102, Chapter Seven…See you next time!