Embedded Files
~Returning Characters~
Morty and Jessie
~New Characters Introduced~
Joel, Mondo, Cameron, and Suzy
Original Date of Post: 02/22/2009
Narrator: And now that I made you all wait a week, I bet you all are pretty mad at me. Okay, we’ll show you part two of the story…Right after a marathon of Youtube videos with the song Crank Dat Soulja Boy in it. (Booing) Just kidding!
Brock: Please tell me…Is she okay?
Doctor: I’m sorry. We did everything we could to save her, but she just gave out. She expired shortly after I talked to you over the phone.
Brock: Jasmine…is dead?
Doctor: I’m so sorry for the loss. (Brock walks down the hallway)
Brock: (Thinking) I’m sorry Jasmine. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. (Tears up) I’m sorry!
Jenina: Brock! (He looks up)
Brock: Jenina… (She runs to him)
Jenina: Brock! She’s gone! My big sis is gone! (She cries on him)
Brock: Please Myron, tell me what happened.
Myron: Well last night, she was running a high fever. I brought her to the hospital. She went into a coma later and well…her heart just gave out. I know how much she meant to you. She meant a lot to us too. (A little later in a different area)
Grace: Is she going to be alright?
Doctor: Well, it's alcohol poisoning so I don’t know when she’ll regain consciousness.
Grace: Erika, you idiot! Just when I think that you're getting better, you fall off the wagon.
Doctor: She’s not the famous singer Erika, is she?
Grace: I don’t know about famous singer. More like famous tabloid magazine scandal!
Doctor: Hey, you think if she gets better, I might have a shot with her?
Grace: She’s only 19! (She glares at him) And how old are you? You look like you’re pushing up 40-something!
Doctor: What? I thought she was 21!
Grace: Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if she lied about her age for the last few months.
Doctor: Well that’s not good. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some business to attend to. (He leaves the room)
Grace: Great! My friend has alcohol poisoning and her doctor is trying to hit on her.
Tracey: It could have been worse.
Grace: Yeah, I guess. Hey thanks for the ride Tracey…And for bringing Ash and Marisa here…Remind me again why they’re here!
Ash: Tracey promised me a ride.
Marisa: And I don’t need to explain my reason!
Grace: Oh, that’s right!
Tracey: So what happens now?
Grace: For one thing, we’re shoving her ass back into rehab. This is the stupidest thing she has ever done.
Marisa: You mean worse than making out with Lindsay Lohan?
Tracey: Hey guys, isn’t that Brock? (They turn around)
Ash: Hey Brock!
Marisa: What are you doing here? (Brock tears up)
Grace: Brock, are you okay?
Brock: Jasmine…She’s gone!
Ash: You mean she died?
Marisa: Oh my God! I’m so sorry!
Tracey: Do you need us to do anything for you? (Brock runs off crying)
Ash: This is bad. He’s never cried like this before.
Marisa: This was the first girlfriend he’s had long-term. Of course he would cry like that.
Grace: Poor Brock. (Police sirens) Huh?
Ash: Police sirens?
Tracey: What the hell? (They all look out the window)
Marisa: They’re coming in the hospital.
Grace: Oh God, please let there be some shot rapper in the hospital and they’ve come to ask him questions.
Marisa: You've been watching too many Boondocks cartoons. (The door opens)
Doctor: There they are!
Joel: Alright you guys, we need to ask some questions.
Grace: And what would these questions be about?
Joel: We’ve gotten word from the doctor here that this young lady was under the influence of alcohol and we just want to get to the bottom of the matter. (Later that night outside the police station)
Marisa: This is not what I had in mind for Christmas Eve.
Ash: (Yawns) Be thankful that none of us got arrested.
Tracey: What are you talking about? Grace is being held responsible for the liquor incident until further notice.
Ash: They only held Grace back for extra interrogation!
Tracey: Yeah, but knowing them they’ll just arrest her and ask questions later.
Marisa: Let’s just go home! I’ve had it with this damn night!
Tracey: You said it!
Ash: Can I stay at one of your guy’s house?
Marisa: Sorry Ash, my mom kind of has a strict no boys at the house rule this late at night.
Tracey: Can’t do it either!
Ash: What the hell am I supposed to do?
Marisa: I don’t know! Why don’t you go home and deal with Gary yourself?
Ash: Gee, some friends you are! (Christmas morning at Brock’s house)
Flint: Merry Christmas kids! (All cheering)
Lola: Okay, is everybody here?
Forrest: Yup! Let’s open gifts!
All: Yeah!
Flint: Hold it! I only see nine of you kids. Where’s Brock?
Forrest: But Dad, he’s not even a kid! He’s a college student so he doesn’t count!
Lola: No one’s opening presents until everybody is here. Now just put them back under the tree.
Forrest: Man, I wanted to see if I got that B.B. gun!
Flint: Son, I have a better chance of getting a date with Hallie Berry herself than you ever getting a B.B. gun.
Forrest: Oh man! (In Brock’s room)
Lola: Brock, come on out! (Singsong) Wake up sleepyhead! It’s Christmas Day! (Brock groans) Get up and have some Christmas spirit with the rest of the family. (In the living room)
Salvadore: Where is Brock? He’s wasting precious present opening time!
Flint: Kids, it’s not just about what you get when it comes to Christmas.
Forrest: What if you were getting a DVD set of all of Jennifer Lopez's good movies?
Flint: Are you serious? HURRY UP BROCK! Do you know if your mother got it for me?
Forrest: Maybe! (Lola and Brock enter the room)
Lola: We’re back! (All cheering) Brock, don’t you want to open your gifts?
Brock: No thanks.
Yolanda: Cool, the newest Katy Perry CD!
Salvadore: I got the new Lil’ Wayne CD!
Yolanda: I guess that means you can get rid of that bootlegged version.
Salvadore: No, it means I can sell the bootlegged version and make an extra couple of bucks.
Flint: That's my boy! Oh honey, you did give me the DVD set! Thank you!
Forrest: You better check and make sure she didn’t buy a bootlegged version of that!
Lola: Nope, it’s the real thing! Just make sure that the young ones don’t see any of it, or that DVD will be the only action you’ll be getting for the next ten years.
Flint: Got it! Come on Brock! At least open one present!
Lola: There’s a present from Billy and Tilly, one from Forrest, one from your father and me, oh and there’s also one from Jasmine.
Brock: Jasmine? Hand me that one!
Lola: Open it and see what you get.
Brock: It’s a locket! (Opens it) And…she even put a picture of us in it! Huh? There’s a note!
Dear Brock,
I hope you enjoy the locket and may your Christmas be great. I’ll see you later.
Love,
Jasmine
Flint: What’d the note say, son?
Brock: Jasmine. (Tears up)
Lola: Honey? (Brock cries and runs to his room)
Forrest: Oh man! He must have gotten dumped by Jasmine.
Yolanda: I thought I heard crying coming from one of the rooms late night. But I thought it was just Dad after being rejected from…
Flint: Okay, that’s enough repeating things your mother says. (At Marisa’s house)
Laura: Marisa! Wake up! (Marisa groans) It’s almost 9 o’ clock and you’re still in bed on Christmas morning!
Marisa: Five more minutes!
Laura: Wake up!
Marisa: Get out and go bug Mom!
Laura: She’s already up!
Marisa: Fine! I’m up! I’m up! There better be a stripper in a Christmas stocking for making me get up at this hour! (They go into the living room)
Laura: She’s finally up!
Michelle: I’m surprised! Usually, you’re the first person up on Christmas morning.
Laura: You only went with Grace to the hospital. What else did you do last night?
Marisa: Well, the police had to interrogate all of us so that took a while. Didn’t they interrogate everyone at the party?
Laura: From what I remember, the only ones the police talked to were Marcus and James. I was afraid that you and Tracey rented a motel room and started having sex.
Marisa: You’re just as bad as Marcus. (Phone rings)
Laura: I’ll get it. Hello. Hold on! Marisa, it’s for you.
Marisa: Who is it?
Laura: It’s Mr. Me-so-horny-me-love-you-long-time!
Marisa: Give me that! I was wrong, you’re worse than Marcus. Hi Tracey!
Michelle: So they’re on speaking terms again?
Laura: They're back together!
Michelle: You’re kidding me! So they got back together last night?
Laura: Yeah. But she did give him a hard time about it and treated him like crap for the majority of the night.
Michelle: That sounds like her!
Marisa: Okay, I’ll come by later. See you then. (Hangs up) Mom, I hope you don’t mind if I go over to Tracey’s place later.
Michelle: Not at all. (Smiles) I'm glad to see you back to your old self again.
Laura: Let’s just open the damn presents! (At May and Drew’s apartment)
May: Oh my God, thank you so much for the present Drew! I’m so surprised that you actually took up a mall Santa gig just so you could give us these gifts.
Drew: You guys are worth it!
May: I never knew a mall Santa could be Jewish!
Drew: I’m only half-Jewish! (May laughs) Very funny!
May: Well we’re both very grateful. (Drew smiles) I’m going to make you a special dinner tonight. (Phone rings)
Drew: Hello.
James: (Sobbing) Drew! You’ve got to help me! I’M IN JAIL!
Drew: Hmm…What do I say? Um, don’t bend over or you’ll be officially married. Good luck!
James: Wait Drew! Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m in jail?
Drew: (Sighs) Fine! Why are you in jail?
James: It’s that stupid friend of yours, Erika. She got me in this mess! First she steals my car and smashes it! Now this!
Drew: I thought the police were just going to ask you some routine questions last night!
James: And that’s what I thought too. But this morning, they came and arrested me! That manipulative bitch told the police that I gave her alcohol! I’m at fault and they arrested me because it’s her word against mine!
Drew: I am not loaning you bail money!
James: Don’t worry about that! My roommate is working on bail. I just need you to deliver Jessie’s present today. Thankfully, it’s safe and sound at my apartment.
Drew: Fine, I’ll be there soon. (Hangs up)
May: Who was that Drew?
Drew: That was James. Turns out he got arrested!
May: This wouldn’t be because of Erika, would it?
Drew: I’m afraid so. (Puts on his coat)
May: Now where are you going?
Drew: To James’s apartment. I have to make a delivery for him. I’ll see you in a little while.
May: Bye! (A little later in front of Tracey’s house)
Michelle: I’ll be back to pick you up in a couple of hours.
Marisa: Okay.
Michelle: Just one thing before you go. Even after all he's put you through, are you willing to give him this second chance?
Marisa: (Sighs) I believe I do.
Michelle: I'm not going to nag you about this. I just want you to be happy. And if being with Tracey makes you happy and he promises to remain faithful from here on out, I can't stop it.
Marisa: Thanks Mom. I’ll see you later. (She drives off) Tracey! (Knocks on the door) I’m here! (The door opens)
Cheryl: Oh, hi Marisa!
Marisa: Cheryl, I didn’t know you were going to be here.
Cheryl: Yeah, I’m spending Christmas with the family. (A boy walks up)
Mondo: Who is it Cheryl? (Stares at Marisa) Hello, baby! Well, this is a Merry Christmas! What can I do for you?
Marisa: Does Tracey have an evil twin?
Cheryl: Step off Mondo, this is Tracey’s girlfriend. So that means she’s off limits to you! You’ll have to excuse Mondo. He has no manners.
Mondo: Put a sock in it Cheryl!
Cheryl: You are so immature!
Tracey: Will you guys stop bickering? Come in Marisa.
Marisa: Thanks.
Tracey: Do you guys always have to fight?
Mondo: You keep inviting Cheryl over!
Tracey: She’s my cousin and so are you. Like it or not, we’re family!
Cheryl: You’re right Tracey. I’m sorry.
Mondo: Yeah, I love you all! So Marisa is your name? I can’t believe Tracey hasn’t told me about you.
Cheryl: Because he was afraid that you would make an ass out of yourself, like you’re doing right now. And you wonder why you don’t have a steady girlfriend!
Mondo: Wait a minute! I thought you were dating some chick named Daisy.
Tracey: We broke up. That’s all!
Mondo: You got dumped! I can see it written all over your face.
Tracey: Take that back, you jerk!
Mondo: (Singsong) Ha! Tracey got dumped!
Tracey: Shut up!
Mondo: (Singsong) Tracey got dumped!
Tracey: Shut up, you jerk!
June: Boys, stop your fighting!
Tracey: He started it!
Mondo: Did not!
June: I don’t care who started it! It’s Christmas and you guys shouldn’t be fighting, especially when we have company over. How are you Marisa?
Marisa: I’m fine.
June: You’re looking well! Cheryl, do you mind helping me out in the kitchen?
Cheryl: Okay.
Tracey: You’ll have to excuse my crazy family.
Marisa: It’s not a problem. Is this the whole family that’s going to join us?
Tracey: Yeah! Cheryl decided to join us this year so it wouldn’t have to be just me and my mother.
Marisa: What about Tweedle-Dumb over there?
Tracey: Mondo got kicked out of his house, so he’s crashing here until things calm down.
Marisa: Uh-huh! Just don’t let him sit anywhere near me during dinner, otherwise he’s going to the emergency room.
Tracey: Not a problem!
Marisa: I know he looks an awful lot like you, but are you sure you two are related?
Tracey: Yeah, he’s my real cousin! You know Cheryl comes from my dad’s side of the family; well Mondo is from my mom’s side. They’re not all crazy on her side; it’s just that he happens to be the oddball of the family.
Marisa: Just keep him away from me! (At James’s apartment)
Drew: Again, I have to ask! Why couldn’t you make the delivery yourself?
Butch: It’s a long story! I’m not allowed anywhere near Jessie’s place again. There’s a restraining order against me.
Drew: How the hell is that even possible? You’re gay! You would never hit on Jessie in a million years!
Butch: I know that. But it was because I hit on her father! That man has got the ass of…
Drew: You are a sick freak!
Morty: Butch hon, I need help in here.
Butch: I’ll be right there. (He leaves the room)
Drew: Okay, I’ll just drop these off at Jessie’s and I can be home before I know it. (A little later in Tracey’s room)
Marisa: When did you get a DVD player?
Tracey: A couple of months ago! I did get the latest documentary for Christmas! The kind you like!
Marisa: (Gasp) Oh, it is the kind I like. Finally, a man with great taste!
Tracey: You mean Lucian didn’t like this sort of thing.
Marisa: Not in the least.
Tracey: Hmm…I have to ask you something. Why did you take me back last night?
Marisa: God, I’ve gone over this in my head all day today and most of last night. I guess it’s because I missed being with you. Even though you screwed me over for Daisy, somehow I could get passed that. I missed you.
Tracey: I missed you too. (They kiss on the lips)
Marisa: Oh, that’s what I miss from you too! There’s just something about a white boy’s kiss!
Tracey: Should I take that as a compliment or an insult?
Marisa: Oh, shut up and kiss me! (The door opens)
Mondo: Yo!
Tracey: Haven’t you ever heard of a thing called knocking?
Mondo: Just had to make sure that you two weren’t doing the mattress mambo!
Marisa: Look, we weren’t doing anything bad, okay? Now if you don’t mind…Well, even if you do mind, leave! Tracey and I would like to be alone.
Mondo: Tracey, your girlfriend has got quite the tongue on her. Hey, dinner is going to be on the table soon.
Tracey: We’ll be there in a minute! (The door closes) He gets on my last nerve!
Marisa: Like you said, his stay should only be temporary, right? Soon he’ll be out of your hair.
Tracey: Yeah. If things get too stupid tonight, can we duck out and go to your house?
Marisa: Okay. It’ll be a lot quieter now that my dad is no longer there.
Tracey: Yeah! But I don’t know how your mother and cousin would feel about me being there. Chances are, they’re not going to forgive me so easily after all that I’ve done to you.
Marisa: They’re forgiving people, unlike my father.
Tracey: Do you…miss him?
Marisa: I do…at times. (A little later outside Jessie’s house)
Drew: How the hell do I get roped into doing these tasks? (Knocks on the door)
Boss: I’ve got it! (Opens the door) Drew, what brings you here?
Drew: I’m actually here to drop off presents for your daughter. Is she here?
Jessie: Did I hear the word presents? Oh…it’s you!
Drew: Here you go Jessie and Merry Christmas.
Boss: Wait a minute! Aren’t you going to watch her open them? After all, you bought those gifts for her and you should see the reaction on her face when she opens it.
Drew: Are you aware that I’m not…
Jessie: Let me open this little one first! (Gasp) A ring!
Drew: A what?
Boss: Looks like an engagement ring! Boy, are you asking for my daughter’s hand in marriage?
Drew: I’m out of here! (He gets into the car and drives off) Asking Jessie to marry me?! That’s scary just to think about! (A little later at Brock’s house)
Lola: Myron! So nice to see you!
Myron: Nice to see you again Mrs. Harrison.
Lola: Please come in. I’ll make you some coffee.
Myron: Well, I really can’t stay too long. I just came by to check and see how Brock was.
Lola: He seemed depressed today. He cried an awful lot, but never told me why!
Myron: Not surprising.
Lola: Whatever Jasmine and Brock were fighting about, Brock sure took it hard.
Myron: Fight? There was no fight!
Lola: There wasn’t? But why was he crying? (Gasp) Did something happen to Jasmine?
Myron: I’m afraid so. Last night…Jasmine passed away.
Lola: (Gasp) I had no idea! Brock didn’t tell any of us! How did it happen?
Myron: Well as you know, she’s been battling cancer for the last couple of years and a few days ago, she got a little ill. Things didn’t get too serious until yesterday when she ran a high fever. Eventually, she ended up falling into a coma and…that’s when we lost her.
Lola: Oh my! Wait a second! Why didn’t you tell me any of this when you came to drop off the present yesterday?
Myron: I didn’t want to worry you folks. I apologize. I just didn’t want to say anything upsetting and have word get back to Brock and have him worry. Jasmine never wanted to worry Brock, even under these circumstances.
Lola: Understood.
Myron: I also came by to see if Brock would like to deliver a eulogy at Jasmine’s funeral.
Brock: I’ll do it!
Lola: Oh honey, what are you doing out of bed? Are you feeling okay? Do you want me to fix you something to eat or something to drink? Would you like some Kleenex?
Brock: Mom, relax!
Myron: How are you feeling Brock?
Brock: I’ve been better.
Myron: I’m glad you’re doing this Brock. (Brock tears up)
Lola: Brock? (He runs to his room) Oh Brock. (At Misty’s house)
Ash: Misty! (Banging on the door) Come on Misty! Open up! (The door opens)
Josh: What’s with the banging, little man?
Ash: Ah! Put on some damn pants!
Daisy: Ash, what are you doing here?
Ash: I came to spend Christmas with Misty. Where is she?
Daisy: She’s not here; she’s at the police station.
Ash: What is she doing there?
Daisy: I don’t know. The police wanted to ask her some questions and then they took her in their squad car.
Ash: SHE WAS ARRESTED? Why the hell didn’t you call me sooner?
Daisy: I was just about to, but then Josh came over and one thing led to another…
Ash: I don’t want to know! Thanks for nothing! (Back at Tracey’s house)
Cheryl: I hope you don’t mind me asking but did you lose some weight recently?
June: I’ve noticed that too!
Marisa: Yeah, I’ve been pretty active with my time off.
June: Well, you look very good dear.
Cheryl: It’s just that I haven’t seen you in a while and you look so much different from the last time.
June: Tracey told us that you’re taking the semester off from school.
Marisa: Yeah, but I’m going back part-time this coming semester. I've healed from the Appendicitis and I'm ready to get back at it.
Cheryl: Hey that’s great! I’m still around the University. If you have any inquiries, you know where to find me.
Marisa: Thanks Cheryl.
Cheryl: It’s good that you’re finally getting back into the swing of things!
Marisa: Yeah, well I just needed the time away from everything. The stress from last summer kind of got to me in more ways than one. (Tracey sighs)
June: I can imagine. It must have been hard losing your father. (Marisa nods) Well, things are going a lot better for you now, right?
Marisa: Huh? Yeah…they’re a lot better!
Cheryl: So you two are back together again?
Tracey: (Angrily) Yes Cheryl.
Cheryl: Okay, okay, no need to chew my head off.
Mondo: What she’s saying is that after being dumped by that chick Daisy, we’re surprised you were able to jump back with this beauty.
Marisa: Stop staring at me!
Tracey: Could we please change the subject?
Mondo: No, let’s continue!
Tracey: (Whispering) Next time, we’re doing it at your house.
Marisa: (Thinking) If it gets me away from that pervert, then I have no objections. (A little later at the police station)
Ash: Her name is Misty Waterflower! You guys arrested her for no reason and I want to know why!
Joel: Misty Waterflower?
Ash: Yeah moron! I want to know why you’re holding her and I want answers now!
Joel: Sir, calm down.
Ash: I’ll calm down when you start giving me answers!
Misty: What are you doing Ash? (He jumps)
Ash: Misty, you’re okay! (He hugs her) Daisy told me that you were arrested and I rushed down here as fast as I… (Joel glares at him) …I mean, obeying every speed limit sign I saw while hurrying. What happened?
Cameron: Oh, we were just asking this little lady a few questions. That’s all!
Joel: You find out anything from her?
Cameron: No, she’s clean.
Ash: What's going on?
Misty: The police are questioning main people involved with Erika being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning.
Ash: I know they questioned Grace some more after I left the hospital last night.
Misty: Well here’s the update. James got arrested because Erika made some sort of statement saying that he’s the one who gave her the alcohol.
Ash: James did what? He couldn’t have! He came to the party way later! Okay, that’s just stupid and that’s saying an awful lot if it’s coming out of my mouth! Officers, I know that James is innocent!
Joel: Look kid, why don’t you let us handle our job and you go on home before you get into anymore trouble.
Cameron: Maybe we should hear him out.
Ash: Just what evidence do you have against James?
Cameron: We went to the hospital earlier to visit with Erika and she said that James was the one who gave her the alcohol.
Ash: Question! Was she still drunk or hungover? Did she sound drunk when you talked to her? Or better yet, she could be covering her own ass to keep her from the slammer. After all, she’s been influenced by the bad light of Hollywood for the past year and she can be manipulating statements just to cover her own ass!
Joel: We don’t have time for this! (He leaves the room)
Cameron: Hey little man, what can you tell me? Don’t worry, I’ll listen. Joel will come around; he’s just a stubborn old goat that likes to do things his own way.
Ash: Well, I’m pretty sure that Grace told you that Erika showed up to our party, which was alcohol-free by the way, drunker than Paris Hilton on New Years! It’s just that in the middle of the party, Erika somehow got the keys to James’s car and crashed it. Now I know that James would never give her the keys when she was intoxicated. (A door opens)
Grace: Thank you officer. (Angrily) I am going to kill Erika for this.
Ash: Grace?
Grace: Ash…Misty…What are you…?
Ash: Same thing you are.
Grace: I need to talk to Erika now! (Back at May and Drew’s apartment)
May: You’re back! How’d it go?
Drew: What’s there to say? I gave her the presents and left! Nothing more! (Turns on his phone) I wonder who called me.
Message: You have three new messages. (Beep)
James: Drew, its James. I just wanted to check and make sure you gave Jessie the present I bought for her yesterday. The police are still keeping me here! Call back at the police station. (Beep)
Boss: Drew, it’s your boss! What’s the idea of giving my daughter an engagement ring? I am going to break your legs! (Beep)
Butch: Drew, we have a little problem. You were only supposed to take the big box to Jessie’s house. That other box was for later. James was going to use it to propose to Jessie. Call me back as soon as possible! (Hangs up)
Drew: Oh crap!
May: What’s the matter?
Drew: Well I’m looking at one person who wants me dead, one of my friends in jail, and a major misunderstanding!
May: Um…okay? What’s going on?
Drew: It’s kind of a long story. (Phone rings) Hello.
Butch: Drew, its Butch! You didn’t make it to Jessie’s house yet, did you?
Drew: There’s a little problem. I gave her the presents and she opened the little box and found the ring.
Butch: That’s what I was afraid of.
Drew: It gets worse, Jessie and her crazy father believe that the ring is from me and he thinks I’m asking for Jessie’s hand in marriage!
Butch: Okay, okay, let’s just sort the whole thing out. Meet me at the prison! We can try to see if we can talk to James and sort the whole thing out. (They hang up)
May: Engagement?
Drew: Um…I can explain?
May: Save it! I don’t want to hear about it! Just fix this whole mess because I’m not sharing you with anybody else…Remember that Drew!
Drew: Yes dear! (At the hospital)
Grace: There you are!
Erika: Hi darling!
Grace: Could I ask your doctor, publicist, agent, bodyguard, and lawyer to leave the room because I have to speak to you alone?
Erika: It’s okay you guys! This won’t take long!
Grace: Ash, Misty, wait out here. I’ll try to get her to fess up. (She closes the door) I want to know the truth Erika!
Erika: What are you talking about?
Grace: Don’t play stupid! You told the cops that James was the one to blame! You told them that he gave you alcohol and then gave you the keys to his car. That couldn’t be further from the truth! I know it, you know it, and just about everybody at the party knows it.
Erika: So what if I set him up?
Grace: Because of you, an innocent boy is going to face prison time.
Erika: Small price to pay for giving me alcohol!
Grace: I know you’re lying to the police! You’re afraid that if you tell the truth, you’ll be sent to jail and back to rehab.
Erika: I’ll do what I can to stay out. Even if it means sacrificing a friend in the process!
Grace: If this thing goes into trial and I end up having to testify, I will testify against you.
Erika: Some friend you are! You’re turning into a nark!
Grace: I don’t care Erika! I will testify against you! I can’t tell a lie, it’s just not in me. So you have a choice. You can admit to the police that you bought the alcohol with your fake I.D. card or you can make matters worse by lying about something you did and put a friend in jail.
Erika: I choose to stay with my original story. Now go away!
Grace: Fine, if that’s the way you want it, that’s what you’re going to get. Just know this, I am officially done with you. (She leaves the room)
Ash: You’re back!
Misty: How did it go in there?
Grace: She’s lying there’s no doubt about it! I get so sick of these so-called celebrities getting away with murder by lying. That’s the reason why R. Kelly still walks the streets today! We need some evidence to prove Erika guilty!
Ash: You mean you’re willing to give up your life-long friendship with Erika?
Grace: After all I've done for her, she's not worth a friendship any longer! I’m going to get to the bottom of this fiasco to clear James’s name!
Ash: I’d like to help you Grace!
Grace: Really? Why?
Ash: It would be helping out a friend and plus it’ll get me out of the house so I don’t have to spend Christmas with Gary.
Misty: Good grief!
Ash: Do you want to help us?
Misty: No. I’ve had it up to here with Erika! (A little later at Tracey’s house)
June: Tracey, could you help me with the dishes?
Tracey: I’ll be right there! (Phone rings)
Marisa: Great, it might be my mother. Hello. Ash, what’s up? (She walks outside)
Ash: We’re on the way to your house and we were hoping you could help me and Grace out with something.
Marisa: What was it that you needed help with?
Ash: We’re going to get Erika thrown in jail!
Marisa: I’m in!
Ash: That was easy!
Marisa: Just letting you know that I’m at Tracey’s house.
Ash: Oh really?! (Tires screech) I’ll be there in about five minutes, maybe less.
Marisa: Okay, I was getting ready to leave anyways. (She hangs up)
Mondo: Leaving so soon?
Marisa: Yes, I’m helping out one of my friends. Now step aside.
Mondo: Say sweet cheeks… (Puts his hand on her butt)
Marisa: Get your hand off my cheek! (He puts his arm around her) Get the hell off me! (He kisses her on the lips)
Tracey: I’m back! (Gasp) What the hell is this? (Marisa pushes Mondo off of her)
Marisa: I’m going home now.
Tracey: Wait a second! I’m not done here! Mondo, I’ll talk to you when I’m done with her. (Mondo walks inside)
Marisa: Don’t look at me like that!
Tracey: You think I should be happy that I saw you making out with my idiot cousin?
Marisa: First of all, he came onto me!
Tracey: Do you expect me to believe that?
Marisa: You expected me to believe it when you fed me that bull-crap about Daisy.
Tracey: That’s not the point! How could you…?
Marisa: How could I what? Your cousin came onto me and started kissing me! You know what? I can’t take it! (She walks inside)
Tracey: Where are you going?
Marisa: I’m leaving, you idiot! (Tracey follows her) Why are you following me if you’re mad at me?
Tracey: I’m trying to ask you something!
Marisa: What is it then?
Tracey: Why?
Marisa: I gave you my answer! I told you that he came onto me first! Am I speaking Greek? (She walks out the front door)
Tracey: Hold on! (He puts his hand on her shoulder)
Marisa: GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF OF ME! (She slaps him)
Tracey: That was so uncalled for! (Horn honks)
Marisa: Thank the great, good Lord! (She gets in the car)
Tracey: Where are you going?
Marisa: I’m leaving! Go to hell! Drive the car!
Ash: Wait, what’s going on?
Marisa: DRIVE THE GOD DAMN CAR! (They drive off)
Grace: What the hell? You get back with him yesterday and one day later you’re yelling at him! I don’t understand you sometimes!
Marisa: That jerk didn’t believe me when I told him that his cousin forced himself on me.
Grace: Say what?
Marisa: So what’d you guys want me to do to Erika? You want me to plant some evidence so that the police can haul her away? I can make it happen!
Grace: No, we thought that you could help us with any clue to get James out of jail. He got arrested thanks to Erika! Now I tried to talk to her in the hospital, but she wasn’t going to let go of the lie.
Marisa: We have to actually show the police the evidence. Really good evidence! It would have been real nice to have TMZ around last night, but they like to follow other drunken whores like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.
Ash: Wait! We might not have had TMZ cameras, but there was Nando!
Grace: Very good Ash! (Back at the jail)
James: YOU DID WHAT?!
Drew: I accidentally gave Jessie the little box.
James: UGH! You were only supposed to give her the big present. I was going to hold off on the ring until later! I was going to propose to her!
Drew: I’m sorry James.
James: And you Bill…
Butch: IT’S BUTCH!
James: Why didn’t you watch Drew?
Butch: He’s not my type!
James: THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT! (Sighs) This is not my day! I’m in jail, Jessie might be engaged to my best friend, and Erika is lying to the police about me. The only way we can put an end to this mess is if you two break me out of jail.
Butch: I would stop talking if I were you!
Drew: There’s a police guard standing right next to you. (A little later at Nando’s house)
Nando: Here it is!
Ash: Thanks a lot Nando!
Nando: So what are you going to do with the tape?
Grace: We’re going to mark down the parts on the tape that might help get one of our friends out of jail.
Nando: Good luck to you!
Harley: Nando, I’m ready for my…Christmas present!
Nando: I’ve got to go! (He shuts the door)
Ash: I don’t even want to know. (A little later at a bar)
Flint: I know it must be depressing to lose a girlfriend. But you know what they say, there’s plenty of other fish in the sea. (Brock sighs)
Brock: I know you’re trying to cheer me up, but it’s not working. You realize that, right?
Flint: I know. I just wanted to escape to a bar to get away from your mother and all of your brothers and sisters. I even got you a root beer.
Brock: Gee thanks.
Flint: It’s your favorite.
Brock: (Sighs) I still can’t believe she’s gone. Jasmine. (Back at Tracey’s house)
Tracey: Idiot!
Mondo: What’s the big deal?
Tracey: The big deal is that you are ruining my life and you’ve only been in this house for less than 12 hours. What the hell were you thinking?
Mondo: Like she was going to stay with you when she could have a stud-muffin like me.
Tracey: You are…so unbelievable! (Mondo leaves the room) Oh man, I screwed up!
Cheryl: Call her.
Tracey: Cheryl?
Cheryl: Call her and tell her that you’re sorry you acted like such an ass.
Tracey: I should have known that she wasn’t the one at fault. (A little later at Marisa’s house)
Grace: (Yawns) Nothing yet?
Marisa: We’ve gone through at least two hours of this footage and nothing. How long is this tape?
Grace: I think it’s one of those six-hour tapes. (The door opens)
Laura: What’s going on in here?
Marisa: We’re doing an investigation! Shut the door!
Laura: You know your mom doesn’t want men to stay over. Why is Ash here?
Marisa: He’s helping me out with something. Don’t tell Mom!
Laura: Don’t worry, she went to celebrate Christmas with some friends.
Marisa: Oh good, then that means she won’t be back until tomorrow morning.
Laura: Can I help?
Marisa: If you find anything incriminating against Erika, be my guest. (Phone rings) I’ll get it!
Grace: No you don’t! No interruptions until we find something.
Marisa: Okay then. I’ll let it go to the answering machine. (Back at Tracey’s house)
Tracey: She’s not answering. (A little later around town)
Flint: Brock! Where are you? God damn it! I go to the bathroom for two minutes and now I can’t find my own son! (Screaming) What the hell was that? (Inside a vet office)
Suzy: Oh my God! Oh my God! (Runs to the phone) Hello 911, this is an emergency! I have a man here who came stumbling into my building and I think he had a seizure and I need help now. (The door opens)
Flint: BROCK!
Suzy: You know him?
Flint: Oh my God, is he alright? Don’t worry son, the paramedics are on their way. Thank you so much for calling the paramedics… (Later that night back at Marisa’s house)
Ash: Man, this is mind-numbing! (Yawns) Huh? Ah! Perfect! I’ve done it! (Laura opens her eyes)
Laura: Ash?
Ash: Oh I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?
Laura: Oh man, I guess we all kind of dozed off. Huh? It’s 2:30 in the morning and you’re still here?
Ash: Don’t worry. I’m about to leave now. I found the footage that I need and I’m going to go to the police station. (Yawns) After a little nap!
Laura: Hey, you can’t fall asleep here! If my aunt catches you here, we’re in a lot of trouble! Go sleep in your car!
Ash: Okay, I’ll see you later Laura! (The next morning)
Marisa: (Yawns) Oh man, what a night! (Looks around) Huh? (Screams)
Grace: I’M AWAKE!
Marisa: Oh man, I’m dead! Oh crap! Oh crap!
Laura: Why are you screaming?
Marisa: Oh God, where the hell is Ash? We have to get him out of here before…
Laura: Relax! Ash left a couple of hours ago. He said he found the footage clips he needed and was going to the police station.
Grace: You mean he found it and we can get James out of jail? (Laura looks out the window)
Laura: Oh Jesus Christ! He’s still in his car! (They all run out of the house)
Grace: Ash! Wake up! (Banging on the window)
Laura: Wake up, you dummy! (Ash opens his eyes)
Ash: What’s going on you guys?
Laura: You’re still in your car.
Ash: Oh yeah. Get in you guys! We’re going to show this to the police!
Marisa: Laura, stay home in case mom comes back home. (They drive off)
Laura: (Sighs) The action never ends. (A little later in the hospital)
Flint: Man, I really messed up. I specifically said Root Beer! Not regular beer! Now my first born gets alcohol poisoning and Lola is going to kill me once she finds out!
Brock: Stop talking about me like I’m dead. You’re not the one who just had their stomach pumped!
Flint: But beer doesn’t give you a seizure…Unless…Your mother hasn’t been feeding you depression pills, has she?
Brock: Not to my knowledge.
Flint: (Sighs) I’m sorry son. I was just trying to help you. Usually when I’m depressed, I always go to a nice bar to relax.
Brock: I know you were trying to cheer me up and make me feel better. Mom doesn’t know about any of this yet, does she?
Flint: If she did, my toes would be chopped off. I called her last night and told her that you and I were in another town staying at a motel for a couple of nights.
Brock: And she bought it?
Flint: We’re in the clear for now! (Knock on the door) Huh? (The door opens)
Suzy: I’m sorry if I came at a bad time, but I just had to make sure he was okay.
Flint: Oh Suzy, that was so kind of you.
Suzy: Well the police let me go after getting a statement from me. I decided to come down here and make sure your son wasn’t dead.
Flint: Well he’s alive, thank God! Brock, this is Suzy. You stumbled into her building in the middle of the night and she called the ambulance.
Suzy: You’re only telling half of the story. When I found him, he was humping one of my rabbits, vomited, and then started having a seizure.
Brock: Suzy, I am forever in your debt. I can’t thank you enough for what you did last night. And in return, would you consider going out with me?
Suzy: Huh?
Flint: He works fast!
Suzy: I don’t know what to say.
Brock: I’ll tell you what you can say…Ugh…I’m going to throw up! (Grabs a trash can)
Suzy: Great, I didn’t want to see that again. I’m out of here. (She leaves)
Flint: The girl saves your life and you pay her back by throwing up twice in front of her. Girls don’t like to see that sort of thing, unless they’re party chicks. I need something to drown out that sound. (Turns on the television)
Reporter: Breaking news into the studio! Famous pop singer, Erika has now been arrested for underage drinking and driving under the influence of alcohol. She was about to leave Lovelace Hospital after spending the night, being treated for wounds she received in a car crash and alcohol poisoning…
Flint: Huh? That’s right where we are! I guess that explains all the police cars. (A little later at the police station)
Joel: That was a good job you did with the case son.
Ash: I can’t really take all of the credit. It’s because of Grace and Marisa over here.
Grace: Oh come on Ash. You sell yourself short!
Marisa: She’s right, this was all you to prove a man’s innocence! (James comes out of another room)
James: Thank you God! I’m free! Thank you Grace! (He hugs her) Thanks you Ash! (He hugs Ash)
Ash: What is this, Full House!
James: Thank you Ma…
Marisa: Touch me and I will stick my size nine up your ass!
James: Yes ma’am! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to settle a little mishap. I think Drew might be engaged to Jessie.
Marisa: Should I ask questions or is it something I don’t want to know?
James: Eh, the second one! So long for now! (He starts running)
Grace: Do you think it’s wise for him to run all the way to Jessie’s house?
Marisa: Do you wanna go to Jessie’s house?
Grace: On the other hand, we’ll let James handle things himself.
Cameron: You know Joel, we are looking for new recruits for the police academy. Maybe you would like to give it a try Ash!
Ash: Me, a cop?
Joel: You’d have to go through the training before you get certified, but who knows. You might have what it takes!
Ash: I like that idea. Sign me up!
Grace: First the Army, and now this?
Marisa: I wonder what Misty will say about this! (Nearby)
James: Gotta run! Gotta run as fast as I can! I’M COMING JESSIE! (A car pulls up)
Butch: James, get in the car! (James jumps in the car and they drive off) Don’t worry! We are on our way to Mexico!
James: No we’re not! Drive to Jessie’s house on the double!
Butch: Right! You say your goodbyes to Jessie and then we go to Mexico!
James: We’re not going to Mexico! I’m going to settle this whole thing with Jessie and ask her to marry me.
Drew: Good, now you can get me out of this whole mess! (A little later in front of Marisa’s house)
Ash: Take care!
Marisa: Good luck telling Misty!
Ash: Thanks a lot! (He drives off)
Marisa: Huh? Tracey, what are you doing here?
Tracey: Well, Laura told me that you were on your way home and so I came over to swallow my pride and apologize to you face to face.
Marisa: Oh really?
Tracey: I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you about my cousin. Cheryl saw what happened through the window and Mondo told me what he did eventually.
Marisa: So you take your cousin’s word over mine?
Tracey: (Sighs) You’re not making this easy for me are you? (Inside the house)
Laura: Great Marisa, make him feel lower than crap!
Michelle: How do you know they're fighting?
Laura: I can hear them talking from in here. Can’t you?
Michelle: Not really. (Tracey and Marisa make out)
Laura: Oh good! They made up!
Michelle: Aw, now that’s sweet. See, I knew they weren’t fighting. You got all worked up over nothing.
Laura: I guess… (They continue kissing) …Should they be kissing for that long?
Michelle: It hasn’t been that long. (They fall to the ground)
Laura: They’re making out on the ground.
Michelle: I’ll be right back! (She grabs a broom and runs outside)
Laura: (Sighs) It’s good to have things back to normal.
Michelle: GET OFF OF MY DAUGHTER!
Laura: It’s really good to have things back to normal. (In front of Jessie’s house)
Butch: Good luck, man! (Knocks on the door)
Boss: James, good to see you. Drew, I don’t even want to look at you. And what the hell is he doing here?
Butch: Well, I guess that’s my cue to leave! I’ll be in the car you guys!
James: We need to clear up a few things right now. Where’s Jessie?
Jessie: James? I need to talk to you! Your friend over there tried to propose to me yesterday.
James: That’s what I needed to talk to you about it.
Jessie: I’ve got news for you. (She takes off the ring and throws it at Drew) I don’t like you and I don’t want to marry you. I’m not going to marry a Mormon so I can plop until I drop! Unlike you, I don't believe in polygamy!
Drew: I’m Jewish, not Mormon! And second, I was delivering a gift for you from James.
James: Calm down Drew! I’ve got this one. (He picks up the ring) Jessie, I apologize for any kind of confusion I or my friend set upon you. It has been a rough 72 hours for me and all I wanted to do was spend Christmas with you…And to give you this. Jessie, will you marry me.
Jessie: James…I don’t know what to say!
James: Well…
Jessie: Yes! I will! I’ll marry you!
Boss: I’m so happy, I could cry!
Drew: Hey, how come you threaten me but let James access into the family.
Boss: I like James. He’s like the son that I never had!
Drew: Good grief. (Back at the hospital)
Brock: (Thinking) Oh Jasmine… (The door opens)
Flint: Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t wake you up, did I?
Brock: No, I was just thinking.
Flint: About Jasmine again?
Brock: Yeah.
Flint: I’ll tell you this son, wherever Jasmine is, I’m sure she’s looking after you.
Brock: Thanks Dad. (Phone rings)
Flint: Uh-oh, it’s your mother. (Picks up) Hi honey! No, Brock and I are still away from the house…Out of town to be exact. Yeah, we’re doing some male bonding. You know how hard things have been on the boy.
Lola: Well I’m not going to step on your male bonding time, but do remember that the funeral is on New Year’s Day.
Flint: Gotcha! Love you. (Hangs up) Well she bought the lie and she just wanted me to remind you about the funeral.
Brock: Why couldn’t you have told Mom the truth?
Flint: Because the truth seems too ugly when you say it out loud. Plus, we’re already in enough trouble. (Police sirens) I thought all of the cops left the area! (Looks out the window) Uh-oh!
Narrator: To be continued.
~*Preview*~
Brock: Oh, this is just great! I’m stuck in a jail cell with my Dad. Just one more freakin’ thing I can put down for this holiday season. God, I’ll be so glad once this crappy holiday is over. If I get out of here that is! Oh man, I’m going to miss Jasmine’s funeral thanks to my idiot father. Next time on Romance 102, Chapter 20…See you next time!
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