Embedded Files
~New Characters Introduced~
Mr. Cheeves, James's parents, and Jessebelle
Original Date of Post: 03/15/2009
Narrator: Oh baby. You have to love those bunnies. Nice and fluffy and…Oh, I was looking at this pet magazine about cute little bunny rabbits! Now here’s today’s story that is remotely similar.
James: Drew, will you just look at this smut?
Drew: You know that I hate those kinds of magazines!
James: Look inside, you idiot!
Drew: Is that Jessie?
James: I had to find out the hard way. We’re getting married in a couple of months and I find this crap out just now. Look at this! It’s the November issue! It must have been months before that when they started taking pictures. God only knows how much more she’s hiding from me. Worst of all, I’m taking her to my parent’s estate this weekend. I don’t want this thing leaking out.
Drew: You’re making too much out of this! Your parents are a bunch of rich snobs. I don’t think they’ll be the least bit interested in the Playboy magazine.
James: My dad has a lifetime subscription to the magazine.
Drew: Oh. Maybe if you put a wig on Jessie. (James groans) Don’t worry about it. The meeting could go a lot better than you think. (That night at James’s apartment)
James: I’m home.
Jessie: Thank God you are home. Your roommates were…
James: Nothing I’m already used to, so no need to bring it up!
Jessie: I’m not used to it. Morty and Biff were naked!
Butch: The name is Butch! And we were doing yoga!
Jessie: Zip it Buffy! No one does yoga naked! I almost lost my lunch. James, try to get your boss to give you a day off.
James: You know I can’t do that. Besides, he’s your father! Look, I need to talk to you about this whole Playboy Magazine issue. I don’t feel comfortable about…
Jessie: It’s just a hobby and I’m making a killing in the money. Have you seen how much I’m getting paid? We’ve got enough money for our honeymoon in case your parents don’t dish out the cash! Plus, I’m getting so many opportunities with my hobby. Modeling jobs and such! It is the best.
James: Look, I want you to make a good impression on my parents and try not to…
Jessie: Oh my God, James! You’ll never believe what I stumbled upon during my time at the Playboy manor. (Pulls out a magazine) Check out this issue and tell me who it is.
James: That looks like our teacher back in high school. Whoa! It is her!
Jessie: Miss Prima…Or Lorelei in this issue!
James: Lorelei, huh? Damn. I bet Drew would get a kick out of this. But back to the subject at hand, I want you to be on your best behavior this weekend. Tone down the language and try to act as dignified as you possibly can and…
Jessie: Don’t tell me how to act James! The only one who’s allowed to say that is the photographer! (The next morning at the cafeteria)
Drew: So, turning a ho into a housewife for your parents is harder than you expected?
James: Maybe if I say she was raised by wolves, do you think my parents would buy it?
Drew: Not that far from the truth.
James: Oh God, Drew! You’ll never guess who was in this issue of Playboy!
Drew: I’m not interested!
James: Not even if it was someone you knew?
Drew: No. Who is it?
James: I can’t tell you until you see for yourself.
Drew: You’re such a prick! (Looks at the magazine) Miss Prima?
James: Actually, Lorelei! That’s her name in the magazine, but yeah it’s Miss Prima alright!
Drew: I never knew she did Playboy. I’m not surprised!
James: Boy oh boy, she’s got those big…
Boss: HEY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! (They hide the magazine) Get back to work, boys!
Both: Yes Boss! (That night at Drew’s apartment)
Drew: I’m home!
May: Hey, how’s it going? (Sara crying)
Drew: Oh, are her teeth still hurting?
May: I’m afraid so! I kept Sara quiet for most of the day because I put her pacifier in the freezer, but now she’s just very cranky.
Max: Can you keep it down? I’ve got to study here!
May: Then go to your own house to study!
Max: I can’t. It’s Mom and Dad’s anniversary and they told me I had to stay here until tomorrow morning.
May: It’s bad enough I have to deal with one baby.
Max: You should have thought about that before you got knocked up! Should have used protection!
May: (Angrily) VERY FUNNY!
Drew: Don’t worry Max! I’m in the same boat as you with homework. (Puts his backpack down) I’ve just got a few things I have to do for this Algebra class and this assignment for Sociology and I should be good. (A magazine falls out of the backpack)
May: What’s this? What the…PLAYBOY MAGAZINE?! Drew Rose, what is the meaning of this?
Drew: Hey now, that’s not even mine!
May: How can you stand there and lie to me like that? (Runs to the bedroom and slams the door)
Drew: Oh crap. Max, I’ll be back! May, I’m telling you that it’s not my magazine! (He goes into the room)
Max: Oh man, Drew is so dead. Hmm…Wouldn’t kill me to look through this. (Flips through the pages) Maybe I can bring this to school and show the boys…HOLY CRAP! (Thinking) Miss Prima? Oh man, I can get top-dollar for this. (Runs to the computer) Thank God sis has a scanner attached to the computer! Heh-heh! (At Forrest’s house)
Forrest: Max sent me an email! “Click here for hot steaming picture.” If it’s that picture of Amy Winehouse again, I’m going to smack that kid in the head. OH MY GOD! I’ve always wondered what they looked like without the shirt covering it. Oh, this is a gold mine! (At Riley’s house)
Riley: (Spits out soda) Sweet Jews for Jesus! (At Conway’s house)
Conway: I think my heart just stopped!
Kenny: Mommy!
Narrator: Yes, Miss Prima’s picture hit almost everyone’s computer and it even reached some of the faculty members the following morning.
Oak: Oh my!
Scott: My word!
Oak: Huh? Hey Scott, is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see this picture?
Scott: (Blushes) Where on earth did you get this?
Oak: Someone sent it to me this morning.
Scott: (Thinking) I’ve always wondered what those puppies looked like without the shirt! (The door opens)
Miss Agatha: Sir…
Both: SHUT THE DOOR! (Miss Agatha leaves)
Oak: I better get to the bottom of this. (The door opens) I said to…Oh, Laura!
Laura: Principal Oak, do you have…?
Oak: Perfect timing, I need you to do something Laura.
Laura: Yes Principal Oak?
Oak: Send Miss Lorelei to see me.
Laura: Lorelei?
Oak: I mean Miss Prima. Miss Prima!
Laura: Well, class just started. Do you want me to…?
Oak: Yes Laura. I think it’s pretty important that I talk to her as soon as possible. (He closes the window on the computer) As you were, Scott!
Scott: Um…yes sir… (In a classroom)
Miss Prima: Alright class. (Snickering) Open your English books to page 323. (Murmuring) Class, when I speak, it means you all quiet down and do what I say. Mr. Harrison… (Forrest flinches) …Is there something that you would like to share with the rest of the class?
Forrest: No ma’am. (Quiet snickering)
Miss Prima: That’s what I thought! (Quiet snickering) Alright, who’s the wise guy?
Forrest: Relax Lorelei!
Miss Prima: (Gasp) What did you just call me? (The door opens)
Laura: Miss Prima, Principal Oak would like to talk to you in the office.
Miss Prima: Yes, of course. Class, I’ll be right back. (She walks out of the classroom) Oh man, that was freaky. For a second, it sounded like he called me Lorelei. (In the principal’s office)
Oak: Miss Prima, please take a seat. Is everything okay Miss Prima?
Miss Prima: Yeah. Everything is fine. Now what’s all this about?
Oak: I’m just a little concerned after a disturbing email I got this morning.
Miss Prima: Email?
Oak: Pictures, Miss Prima! And I have a feeling that the students have already seen these pictures.
Miss Prima: Let me see the pictures.
Oak: Here we are. (Miss Prima gasps)
Miss Prima: Oh my God. (Falls in the chair) I was afraid that this would come back to haunt me. I just knew it would! (The door opens)
Scott: Principal Oak, I have a kid in my office that…Oh…M-Miss Prima!
Oak: Scott, leave NOW!
Scott: Could I have your autograph? (She puts her hand over her face)
Oak: Scott, leave or I am going to fire you!
Scott: I’m gone like Arsenio! (He leaves)
Oak: Now then…
Miss Prima: I did a lot of things in my past that I regret Principal Oak. And doing Playboy is at the top of the list. But I was young and I had bills piling up and…
Oak: Miss Prima…
Miss Prima: I need to get out of here!
Oak: Now don’t get too…
Miss Prima: Please Principal Oak. I need to get out of here before I have a panic attack!
Oak: (Sighs) As you wish. I’ll get Miss Agatha to fill in for your class until you’re ready to come back. (A little later at the University)
Drew: Thanks a lot James. Thanks to you and that damned magazine I got in so much trouble with May.
James: Oh, she’s always got a stick shoved up her butt about something! Hey, we're visiting my parents tomorrow. Any last minute pointers you want to give me? Just speak up.
Drew: Like what kind of pointers?
James: Oh, I’ve got a question! What happened when you told your mom that you and May were going to get married?
Drew: Nothing really happened. Although when I told her that May was pregnant, she cried for a straight week and avoided eye-contact with me. Luckily, you don’t have that same problem.
James: No, my problem is worse!
Drew: (Sarcastic) Right! Your girlfriend being a Playboy bunny is a million times worse than knocking up a girl in high school.
James: Shut up. But Drew, I need you there.
Drew: Why the hell do you need me there?
James: Yes! I need someone, a second man there to control Jessie. You are my best man after all!
Drew: You’re asking me to be your best man?
James: Of course. Drew, I’ve known you for so many years. You’re like the brother I never had.
Drew: You’re like the brother I never had too…Just in a different sense. The one that would get me into trouble! But I guess I’ll go through with it. (The next morning in James’s car)
James: Okay, we’re almost at the estate. Remember everyone, manners are key today!
Jessie: We heard you the first time James. And what is he doing here?
James: Drew is my best man and he’s someone who can help me get through to my parents. Although I fail to understand why he brought the screaming brat!
Drew: Because I’m her father, you idiot! (Sara crying) Plus she’s teething and May had some errands to run. Marriage is all about commitment and compromise. You two better learn that now.
James: And here it is!
Drew: Wow, this place looks bigger than it did when I was last here.
James: Oh, that’s because they had some expansions made to the property. (Sara continues crying) Will you shut that brat up? (Drew hits James at the back of the head) Remember Sara; never hit someone when they’re driving. But if they call your kid or someone close to you a name, then the lesson flies out the window. (Sara giggles)
Jessie: Hey, I think she likes it when James is in pain.
James: Oh stuff a sock in it. (At front of the gates)
Jessie: Doesn’t look like anyone is here. Looks like we have to contact someone through the intercom!
James: Hello. Is anyone there?
Mr. Cheeves: Young master James; your parents have been expecting you. (The gates open) The limo is ready to take you to the front.
Jessie: You’ve got to be kidding me! This place has to be bigger than Hugh Hefner’s mansion.
James: Remember not to bring that up!
Drew: Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s get in the limo. (A little later in front of the house)
James: Mr. Cheeves!
Mr. Cheeves: Welcome home, Young master!
James: I’m sure you remember Drew. And this here is my…fiancé, Jessie!
Mr. Cheeves: Very nice to see you again Master Drew. And Jessie, it’s so nice to…Did you say fiancé?
James: Yes. We’re engaged to be married!
Mr. Cheeves: Really. From what your parents told all of us, you were engaged to somebody else.
James: Somebody else?
Mr. Cheeves: (Nods) I heard it was your long-time friend, Jessebelle. (Inside the home)
Mum: Welcome home, son.
James: Cut the small talk Mom! I demand to know why you’ve been telling everyone on the premises that I am engaged to someone I barely know!
Mum: What ever do you mean, son?
James: Don’t play stupid! You know that there’s nothing between me and Jessebelle!
Jessie: Okay James, I demand to know who Jessebelle is?
Mum: Young lady, that is not proper talk when addressing the young master.
Jessie: Don’t sass me, Grandma!
Drew: Manners, Jessie!
Jessie: Stuff it, pint-size!
James: Oh, this isn’t going to end well.
Pop: What’s all the commotion?
James: What’s going on here?
Pop: James, I’m so glad you’ve returned home to prepare for your wedding.
Drew: But the question is…Who is he going to marry?
Mum: Drew Rose? I haven’t seen you in years…Huh? It seems that you’re a father. I guess the rumors were true. How unfortunate!
Pop: It’s a shame to see a young boy like him become a father so early in life.
James: Don’t change the subject! Why is it that I’m supposed to be marrying Jessebelle?
Pop: You called and said that you were ready for marriage. And when you said that, there was no doubt in our minds that you were going to marry Jessebelle.
James: I didn’t say anything like that! You two are just twisting my words around so I do what you want me to do!
Mum: But James, she’s such a fine, young lady. She has the patience of a saint to wait as long as she did for you.
James: What are you talking about?
Pop: You’ve been arranged to marry Jessebelle since before you were even born.
James: Then why is this the first I’m hearing of this?
Pop: Moving right along son, Jessebelle should be here soon enough. (Doorbell rings) And that must be her now! (The door opens) Welcome Jessebelle!
Mr. Cheeves: This way madam.
James: Jessebelle?
Jessebelle: Oh, James my darling, it’s been a while!
Jessie: Who’s this tramp?
Drew: I remember her…back when we were kids. Whoa, she looks an awful lot like you Jessie.
Jessie: I look nothing like that Jezebel. (Jessebelle kisses James) Oh, that little…
Drew: Jessie! Come on! Don’t do this!
James: …Oh, um I need to have a conference with my friends in my room! (In James’s room)
Jessie: What part of your body do you want me to break first?
James: Let me explain!
Jessie: Oh, I understand pretty well. You don’t tell me about this Jessebelle bitch, your family seems hell-bent on you marrying her, and somehow Drew knows about her a lot more than you do.
James: Okay, I admit it. Yes, I do know Jessebelle. Our parents made us play with each other as kids, but I swear I had no idea that they wanted us to get married. (She turns to Drew)
Jessie: DID YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?!
Drew: No and stop yelling at me. I have nothing to hide!
James: Trust me Jessie. I want to marry you. I have nothing but love for you. Jessebelle is someone I am not the least bit interested in.
Jessie: Don’t feed me that!
James: Isn’t that what you want to hear?
Drew: You idiot! She means, tell your parents and Jessebelle that your true fiancé is Jessie.
James: Oh yeah. (Walks to the door) Oh, what’s the point? They won’t listen. They never listen! That’s why I moved out in the first place.
Jessie: If you won’t, I will!
James: NO! Oh, why did I come here in the first place? Oh, I’ve got an idea. Jessie, let’s get married.
Jessie: We’re already getting married!
James: I mean now!
Jessie: Now as in right now?
James: Yes! I know a guy who can do this for us.
Drew: Don’t you think you’re taking things too fast?
James: Desperate times, calls for desperate measures! I’ve got an idea. We’ll sneak out of my room and drive somewhere to elope.
Jessie: (Sarcastic) Yeah, brilliant Einstein! There’s one problem with that idea!
James: What’s that?
Drew: We’re on the third floor!
James: Oh yeah. Ah, the classic bed-sheet maneuver! We’ll go out the window this way. Drew, go out that door and stall my parents for about five minutes.
Drew: I’m not going to do…
James: Drew look, Sara’s about to put a fork in the electrical socket! (He turns around)
Drew: What the? She’s on the…bed. I should have known James. (Picks up Sara) Come on sweetie. Let’s go watch Daddy lie to rich people. (Out the window)
James: This plan is fool-proof. Okay, we’re just a hop, skip, and a jump… (Leaps from the rope)
Jessebelle: ...Right into my arms, lover! (James screams) Oh, you don’t have to hide anymore James. It’s just you and me now.
Jessie: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! (Leaps from the rope) Get your trampy hands off of my fiancé!
Jessebelle: I beg your pardon madam, but James is my fiancé!
Jessie: Look girl, he’s the one who proposed to me and therefore he is my fiancé.
Jessebelle: In that case…James, how could you propose to this street urchin? I mean, look at the way she dresses. It’s simply atrocious. Wouldn’t you like to have a wife who is stunning, classy, and looks great in just about anything?
Jessie: There’s not a single thing that this whore has said that is even remotely true. This here is natural beauty! At least I don’t have crow’s feet yet!
Jessebelle: My word! How dare you! (Back inside)
Drew: He has an emergency call from the apartments! It might be a while.
Pop: You’re lying!
Drew: Huh?
Mum: We can tell when people lie to us! By your posture and the way you won’t look us in the eye. Tell us what’s going on Drew!
Drew: I’m telling you the truth! He’s having a private conversation with his roommate!
Pop: Step aside and let us in there.
Drew: (Thinking) James should be out of the room by now, so maybe when they’re looking for him, I can make my escape!
Mum: James, come out here this instant. We need to talk. (They open the door) He’s gone!
Pop: Look. He escaped using this bed-sheet.
Mum: Drew, do you have anything to do with this? Oh…He’s gone too!
James: (Screaming) RELEASE ME AT ONCE, WOMAN!
Mum: Looks like Jessebelle stopped him in his tracks. (Back outside)
Jessie: I told you to get your hands off of my fiancé! (Grabs her arm)
Jessebelle: Now I know you did not just touch me!
Jessie: Oh, did I strike a nerve? (Sarcastic) Oh, I’m so scared of the big bad wolf! What will I do? THIS! (Jessebelle grabs Jessie’s fist) Huh?
Jessebelle: You don’t ever want to touch me! You picked the wrong girl to mess with! (She kicks Jessie in the gut) Give up?
Jessie: (Groaning) Never! (She’s kicked in the gut again and falls down)
James: Jessie!
Jessebelle: Such a beast! But that'll teach you a lesson. Never mess with a lady who has been trained in several forms of martial arts, including Krav Maga. Now then! James, I’m so sorry you had to see that. I hope you don’t think any less of me. (James runs to Jessie)
James: Jessie, are you okay? (She gets up)
Jessie: That was a cheap shot…from a cheap whore! (Mum and Pop walk out)
Pop: There you are Jessebelle.
Jessebelle: Oh, hello there. I was just telling James all about my plans for our wedding.
Mum: That’s wonderful, darling.
James: STOP!!! If you would listen to me for a minute you’ll know how I really feel. I am NOT in love with Jessebelle. We haven’t spoken to each other for years! My heart belongs to Jessie and she is who I want to marry. Now, what do you have to say? (At Ash’s house)
Oak: YOU QUIT?! Whoa, you’re calling me in the middle of a Saturday to tell me that you’re quitting?
Miss Prima: I just don’t think it’s a wise idea for me to stay. I thought I was able to leave the past behind me when I came to work at Pallet High…but I was wrong.
Oak: Please Miss Prima…
Miss Prima: I’m sorry. (Hangs up)
Oak: Damn it! She’s one of the greatest English teachers since Professor Rowan. I need a replacement and fast for Monday. (Back at James’s apartment)
Butch: So let me get this straight! Your parents are disappointed in you and now you want to call off the wedding?
Drew: Weren’t you planning on running off to get eloped just a few hours ago?
James: Well yes, but there’s been a big change.
Morty: And where’s Jessie?
James: Back at her father’s! I’m sorry you guys. But when my parents said they were utterly disappointed in me, it got me thinking. I feel bad. It’s bad when you actually hear them say that and in that tone.
Butch: (Sniffling) I know how you feel. My old man said that to me after I came out of the closet…and he still hasn’t talked to me. (Sobbing) DADDY, FORGIVE ME! (He cries on Morty’s shoulder)
Morty: There, there!
James: Stuff it Bitch! I’ve got a bigger problem at hand!
Drew: Alright, that does it! James, it’s time that you grow up and be a man about this. Yes, everyone goes through trouble and a lot of weird things when the subject of marriage comes up. I went through it with my mother when May and I were preparing for our wedding day. The point is you have to be in charge of your major decisions. Not your parents! You’ve been making decisions for yourself up to this point! You have your own place away from the folks. You got up the courage to ask Jessie to marry you. So come on! Stand up to your parents!
James: You’re right…I’ll go back to my parents tomorrow and I will sort this whole thing out. (One day later)
Butch: So what went wrong?
James: They flat out told me no and that I would be bringing shame upon the whole family.
Morty: And you actually fell for that?
James: You have no idea how my family is! It goes back years and years of rich snobs marrying other rich snobs. But I want to end that cycle. If I marry Jessebelle, the cycle will continue and she’ll want our kids to marry other rich snobs. Well, this puppy ain’t buying!
Butch: So why didn’t you tell them that?
James: I did…Then they said I’m the biggest shame of the family. Pop even told me that I was an even bigger disappointment than my cousin Paris. And you don’t get much lower than that.
Butch: Don’t give up so easily. Maybe you could get Jessie’s father to meet with your parents. I mean, he can’t seriously be like Jessie. After all, she is adopted!
James: Long shot…I’m talking BIG long shot, but it could work! (The following morning at Pallet High School)
Dawn: I wonder where Miss Prima could be.
Forrest: Probably on the cover with Miss December!
Riley: Or with Miss October.
Dawn: What on earth are you talking about?
Forrest: Oh, nothing Dawn. You wouldn’t get the joke.
Riley: Oh yeah, hot girl on girl action. (Door opens) Hey, maybe we can ask if she’s ever done any kind of films. (All gasp)
Lt. Surge: Alright class… (Burp) I’m your substitute for the day. Okay, here’s the deal. I don’t know a thing about what you kids are studying, I’m only substituting for the day, and I have a humongous headache. So I want you to sit in your desks and read whatever it is that you students are reading. (Groans)
Dawn: (Thinking) What the hell is going on here? (After first period in the front office)
Laura: Well, in answer to your question, Miss Prima quit over the weekend. I don’t really have an answer for why Lt. Surge was hungover.
Narrator: I do. Interesting story! You see it all started…
Dawn: SHUT UP AND STOP BUTTING IN! But why did she quit?
Laura: I don’t know. I asked Principal Oak and he couldn’t tell me anything. (Bell rings) Well, that’s the warning bell. Come on or we’ll be late for class.
Dawn: Fine. (They walk out the office)
Laura: Hey, there’s Conway?
Dawn: Where?
Laura: There! He’s in the library.
Dawn: I’ll catch up with you later. (She walks in the library)
Conway: Oh yeah baby. Show me the money-shot!
Dawn: Conway!
Conway: (Gasps) Oh crap! Dawn is here!
Dawn: There you are!
Conway: Hi…darling. Hey, isn’t it time for class? You better hurry up so you won’t be late.
Dawn: Hold on. I came in to say hi to you, but now I feel this weird suspicious feeling that you’re hiding something from me.
Conway: I’m not hiding anything from you. (Nervous laugh) Now beat it!
Dawn: Excuse me?
Conway: I didn’t mean that!
Dawn: What’s on the computer screen? (Pushes him) What the…Of all the stupid things! (She hits him) I should have the right mind to… (Punches him in the face) You are such a jerk! (A little later during lunch)
Zoey: How did you get detention again?
Dawn: I punched Conway and disrupted the peace in the library or something like that.
Conway: Damn it, now I can’t see.
Dawn: Serves you right, you pervert!
Brianna: Finally, she sees the light!
Conway: Can I say something?
Dawn: Before I punch your teeth in? Might as well!
Conway: I was intrigued by this strange development. I mean when Forrest and Max sent me that picture of Miss Prima as a Playboy bunny, I had to…
Dawn: MISS PRIMA?!
Conway: Yeah.
Dawn: So that’s why she quit! Wait, you said Forrest and Max?
Conway: Yeah, Max found the picture and Forrest spread it around. (Dawn gets up)
Brianna: Where are you going? (At another table)
Forrest: So I said to her… (Dawn taps them on the shoulder) Huh?
Max: Hi Dawn! (She grabs their ears) Ow!
Forrest: Let go of me, you crazy…Ow, ow, ow!
Dawn: Excuse us for a second! (In the hallway) You giant idiots! (She let’s go of them)
Max: What’d you do that for?
Dawn: You’re the reason why Miss Prima left! You’re the reason why she quit her job! She was the greatest teacher ever and you two screwed it up!
Forrest: She quit? (Dawn grabs his ear) Ow, let go! Please let go!
Dawn: I am so pissed off right now! It’s because of you we got the drunken, idiot coach to be our sub! It’s because of you we're losing the best teacher this school has ever had!
Max: Please Dawn, let go of us! We’ll bring Miss Prima back! I know where she lives!
Dawn: Fine. You can lead the way after I get off from detention. Wait, how do you know where she lives?
Max: I’ve had a few study sessions at her house.
Forrest: You did that and you didn’t tell me dude?
Max: I was ashamed about getting a B+ so I got some tutoring. It wouldn’t kill you to do the same! (Back at the college)
Boss: You want me to go with you where?
James: To meet my parents! Look, I’ve had some trouble with my parents and I figure if they talked to you, we can finally cover some much needed ground. After all, we’re going to end up related soon.
Boss: True. Sure. I’d like to meet them before I start to despise them.
James: You shouldn’t say that. Now, we should go sometime around 7pm. That way we can get our case to them before they shut-out everything and watch Matlock.
Boss: Better yet, we’ll go now. Drew, you’re in charge. Don’t forget to lock up!
Drew: Yes sir. (Silently) You fucking idiot! (Later in front of Miss Prima’s house)
Dawn: Sure this is the place?
Forrest: Yeah, I can’t recognize it without the tee-pee and eggs…I mean, it’s nothing like I ever imagined.
Max: Positive. (Rings bell) Miss Prima! (Rings bell) Are you there?
Dawn: Maybe she’s not home.
Man: You kids won’t get Miss Prima. I saw her leave the house about an hour ago.
Dawn: Do you know where she is?
Man: She told me that she was heading to the airport. I saw several bags with her when she left so I’m assuming it’s going to be a long trip.
Dawn: Let’s go! Maybe we can catch her before she makes it out of security.
Forrest: What? But I’m tired and… (She grabs their ears)
Dawn: I SAID LET’S GO! (A little later in a limo)
Boss: You live there?
James: Yes…well, before I moved out that is.
Boss: I would always picture your family as a bunch of Homer Simpson’s, but this is very classy.
James: Just try not to fly off the handle by saying anything inappropriate. (Car stops) Well, here’s the front! And there they are!
Boss: Don’t you worry about a thing James; I’ll talk them down for you. Hey, I’m a swell negotiator. I put William Shatner to shame.
James: It’s not…Oh, forget it! I’m at my last resort. (A little later at the airport)
Man at counter: Okay then. Flight 306 to Omaha will be leaving out of Gate C-3.
Miss Prima: (Yawns) Well that was a great 45 minutes in line. Oh well, time for another great chore.
Dawn: (Shouting) Miss Prima!
Miss Prima: For a second, it sounded like someone was calling my name. Nah! It’s just my imagination.
Dawn: Miss Prima, Miss Prima! (She turns around)
Miss Prima: Dawn? What are you doing here?
Max: Please don’t leave!
Forrest: We’ll be good kids in class! Promise!
Dawn: Don’t leave town!
Miss Prima: Kids, I’ll only be out of town for a couple of days. I’m going back to see family for a couple of days.
Max: Will you still return to Pallet High?
Miss Prima: Oh, that. (Shakes head) No.
Dawn: Listen Miss Prima, I know we haven’t really seen eye to eye but I’ve recently come to terms with something. You’re the best the school has and none of us want to see you leave. (Grabs their ears) And you two have to say something right about now!
Both: YES MA’AM! (She lets go)
Forrest: We’re sorry Miss Prima. It’s our fault that we drove you to quitting. I was the one who spread that picture to everyone at school.
Max: And I was the one who found the picture.
Miss Prima: Boys, I’m very appreciative that you told me the truth…But after all that is revealed, it wouldn’t be right of me to stay. Soon your parents would find out and then there would be a big protest to have me fired because of something I did in the past.
Dawn: I know it seems that way, but Principal Oak said that you were the best he’s had and I don’t want another day where Lt. Surge is our substitute.
Max: Plus, some of the parents are well-aware and have no problems of your past. Just as long as you’ve cleaned up your act now. But please forgive us!
Forrest: And come back to Pallet High!
Miss Prima: Students, I have to get in line for the security. (They all groan) Goodbye. (She walks away)
Max: Do you think she’ll return?
Forrest: Who knows?
Dawn: Only time will tell. (That night at James’s parents mansion)
James: I’ll call you back if they reach a breakthrough. (Door opens) I’ll talk to you later Jessie. (Hangs up)
Pop: James, we’ve reached a decision.
James: Oh…you have?
Mum: Even though you’ll be defying our wishes and breaking a 20-year arrangement, we realized that you’ve got to make your own decisions every once and a while.
James: Does that mean…?
Pop: Yes son, you can marry Jessie.
James: Wait, why did you decide that?
Pop: Between you and I son, Jessie’s father is a complete dip. When we made the arrangement with Jessebelle’s parents, we had a long argument over who was going to pay for what. Jessie’s father is actually paying for the whole wedding.
James: (Groans) You swindled him?
Pop: No one negotiates like your old man. I should be the Priceline Negotiator and not that fat hack, William Shatner.
Narrator: So one week has passed and there was still no sign of Miss Prima coming back to Pallet High. That is until that following Monday morning when she stepped back into her old classroom and back to teach full-time. Now of course, the students did not bring up any part of Miss Prima’s old picture out of the closet. For you see, with her return, she made an example out of Forrest and Max by giving them a month of detention and made them stand up in front of class whenever she called on them. Actually, they were her personal performing seals in class.
Forrest: This is pure torture.
Max: Not for me. I actually do my homework!
Miss Prima: Alright boys, let’s get down to Holden’s real dilemma in Catcher in the Rye.
Narrator: And back with James and Jessie, they’re getting ready for their big day. And both of James's parents are pretty much content. As for Jessie's father...
Boss: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? A bill for $3000 for a ice block in the shape of a swan? WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!
Narrator: Wait until he sees the bill for the flowers.
~*Preview*~
Brock: The radio sucks! That’s what I used to say until the day I got my own station! Now, that is the best thing I could ever do with my time. Being a personality on the air waves rocks and attracts so many beautiful women. And this will be the perfect opportunity to reach out to a certain girl! I’m aiming for you, Suzy! Next time on Romance 102, Chapter 23…See you next time!
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