Original Date of Post: 01/20/2008
Narrator: Nothing more thrilling than going on stage and auditioning for a play. But of course, it’s also nerve racking and some people can freeze up on stage during the audition. Hey but don’t worry about it! It can happen to anybody! Professional and amateur! It was the day before the auditions of Guys & Dolls and everyone who was into theatre, spared no expense to get their last minute work in for their audition piece.
May: (Singing)
Oh, what a melancholy choice this is,
Wanting home, wanting him,
Closing her heart to ev'ry hope but his,
Leaving the home she loves,
There where her heart has settled long ago
She must go, she must go, she must go,
Who could imagine she'd be wand'ring so
Far from the home she loves
Yet there with her love, she's home.
Marisa: Very nice.
May: Come on Marisa! Auditions are tomorrow and I need some constructive criticism from somebody.
Marisa: Well isn’t there anyone else you could ask? You know, I do have my own auditions to get through tomorrow and I still need all the practice I can get.
May: What? Come on! I know you’ve got your song memorized and I have faith that you will do great tomorrow.
Marisa: What the hell have you been smoking? I am not Beyonce where singing just comes naturally you know! Anyways, it doesn’t matter! I have the tendency to forget my song when I’m up on stage.
May: Well, I’m going to sing again!
Marisa: Could we please stop for now? I think you’ve got Far From the Home I Love down.
May: Not a chance! I’m not going to blow it in front of everybody! I want to at least make a good first impression with everyone in the theatre.
Marisa: Well so far you’ve been doing pretty good with most of us. I mean, Marcus likes you, I like you, Grace respects you, and Kelly just worships you.
May: And I want to prove myself worthy to certain jerks that think that I’m not good enough to be on the stage.
Marisa: Huh? You’re not still sour because of what Drew said, are you? And correct me if I’m wrong, he just said that you needed some work on your singing.
May: Ha! I could care less what that green haired goon thinks.
Marisa: Whatever you say!
May: Alright! From the top!
Marisa: (Sighs) I hate my life! (At the school pool)
Misty: Alright, just another lap around the pool and we’ll be done for the day. (Sakura pants) Come on Sakura! You can do it! You can do it! Cut his fucking head off!
Sakura: What?
Misty: Whoops, my bad! I was watching The Waterboy last night. Now let’s go! You’re almost there!
Sakura: (Thinking) Come on! Almost there! Got it!
Misty: Very good Sakura! Now let’s hit the showers! That was a great workout today and I can tell you that you’re making big progress.
Sakura: You think so?
Misty: Absolutely. I’ll meet you in the shower.
Sakura: Okay Misty.
Erica: Was that Sakura by the pool I saw?
Whitney: It sure was!
Erica: Damn! I thought it was just a new overweight girl at school. I wonder what happened to her over the summer.
Whitney: Well I heard that she got dumped by some boy before the end of last semester and just locked herself in the house and gorged on food.
Erica: Well, whatever it was, she looks bad!
Whitney: Wrong sweetie! Britney Spears looks bad, Sakura looks horrendous!
Erica: Ooh, you’re bad! Come on, we’re late for practice! (They leave)
Sakura: (Tears up) I knew it! (A little later back at the theatre)
May: (Singing) Who could imagine she'd be wand'ring so…Far from the home she loves. Yet there with her love, she's home. (Clapping)
Grace: I didn’t think you were still here. I thought you went home with Marisa.
May: No, Marisa went home. But I decided to stay around and practice my song some more.
Grace: Keep on singing and you won’t have a voice to work with for the auditions tomorrow. Come now May, you have a beautiful voice. I’m confident that you are going to get a big singing part.
May: It’s not that. I’m not worried about getting a part or not. I just want to prove that I have the power to stand up in front of a crowd and sing.
Grace: You really don’t have to worry so much. Miss Vivian and Solidad heard you sing and they think you’re great. Hell, Miss Vivian was ready to give you the part of Sarah Brown, but she thought it wouldn’t be fair to the other girls going out for that role.
May: Seriously? Well, I’m not too worried about Miss Vivian. Although, there is one person I want to prove I can do this!
Grace: Huh? Oh, this somebody wouldn’t happen to be Drew, would it?
May: Pompous jerk!
Grace: Look, I know that you’re new around here, so I’ll let you in on this. Drew is a perfectionist, and demands nothing less of himself. Every year, he goes all out for any performance he’s in. Last year in Les Miserable, he and Will were the stars and kept the crowds coming in through all three nights. He’s just afraid that he’ll be on the stage with a total amateur and end up making him look bad.
May: Feh!
Grace: Come on, I want to show you something. (Outside the choir room)
May: What are we doing here?
Grace: This is where Drew comes to practice. (She opens the door)
Drew: (Singing) Luck be a lady tonight. Luck be a lady tonight. Luck if you’ve ever been a lady to begin with, luck be a lady tonight. Huh? Excuse me! Some of us are trying to practice here!
Grace: Don’t mind us Drew! We were just passing by!
May: He’s really good. Frank Sinatra good!
Drew: And what about you? Auditions are tomorrow, you still think you can go through with it, and not stutter on your lines like last time! (Mocking) I’ll know, when my love c-c-c-comes along! (Laughing)
May: Unless you want to go to auditions with a broken arm, I suggest you squash the teasing!
Drew: Alright, calm down!
May: You’ll see Drew! I’ll see you tomorrow!
Drew: We’ll see! (Grace and May leave the room)
May: OOH! I CAN’T STAND HIM!
Grace: Come on May! You have better things to think about then fighting with Drew.
May: And what’s even more sickening is the fact that he can sing.
Grace: I know. He has that voice that can just make you melt. He is a shoo-in for the part of Sky Masterson. Any girl would give anything to be opposite Drew. Hey, what if you got the part of Sarah Brown and you had to work beside him?
May: Hey, don’t go overboard! Besides it’s a long shot if I get that part. Although, if I do get the part, Drew might notice and I can finally get some Goddamn respect!
Grace: Okay, settle down. Just giving you fair warning. Plenty of women, including myself are going out for the role of Sarah Brown. But there can only be one Sarah Brown.
Harley: And that is going to be me!
Grace: Harley? What makes you think that Miss Vivian is going to let a gender confused male the lead female in the play?
Harley: What? I’ve got the looks and the voice to boot! There’s no way she’s going to pass me over for this part.
May: We’ll just see tomorrow.
Harley: It’s a date, doll face! (The next morning in the hallway)
Marcus: So I guess May is all ready for her audition!
Marisa: No kidding! I don’t know how long I was with her yesterday, but I’m getting tired of hearing that song from Fiddler on the Roof! I never knew a song could crawl under my skin and get on my nerves!
Marcus: (Singing) Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you…
Marisa: What the? (Hits him) Sing that song again and I will break every bone in your damn body!
Marcus: Sorry about that! I won’t ever sing Celine Dion in front of you again!
Marisa: Thank you.
Marcus: I still say you should sing that for auditions!
Marisa: And I still say you should shut the hell up! (Misty walks up)
Misty: Hi you guys! I was wondering if you guys seen Sakura around today.
Marisa: No, I haven’t seen her all morning.
Misty: Damn. It’s almost time for first period and she was supposed to meet me early this morning around the pool.
Marcus: I know that Sakura has been exercising with you at the pool since school started but have you noticed any change in her attitude?
Misty: Not at all. Or at least, I haven’t noticed anything like that! She seemed happy after our workout yesterday. Maybe she’s a little upset or tired with the way I’m coaching her.
Marcus: Well, I wouldn’t worry Misty. Sakura knows that you’re drilling her for her own good and would never ditch you. I know she’s grateful for what you’re doing.
Misty: Thanks Marcus. (May walks up)
Marcus: Hey star!
Marisa: Ready for auditions?
May: As ready as I’m ever going to be! (Drew walks by and chuckles) Huh? What’s so funny? You mind filling me in on the joke?
Drew: It’s nothing!
May: Well why don’t you just do me a favor and worry about your own audition and stop pestering me? I know I’m going to do great!
Drew: We’ll see what happens today. Break a leg! (He walks away)
May: Ooh, I can’t stand him!
Marcus: Hmm…I sense tension! (After school)
May: Gee, I didn’t realize it was 2:30 already.
Marcus: Getting nervous? Don’t worry! Happens to most of us! Little buddy over there has been jumpy all afternoon! (She jumps)
Marisa: I have not been jumpy! Crap! I can’t remember the lyrics to my song anymore. I’m going to forget my lyrics and freeze up on stage!
Marcus: Don’t say things like that! You were fine last year when you sang for auditions and you ended up getting a decent part for Les Mis. For all you know, you might get a chance to be a Hot Box Dancer.
Marisa: Nah! Not with my figure! But I will say this! Ever since Sakura put on that extra weight, I’m no longer the chubby one of the group. That of course is not to put Sakura down or anything like that!
May: Hey, isn’t that Misty? (They walk over)
Misty: Hey you guys!
Marcus: How’s it going?
Misty: Not so good. It’s already after school and I have not seen any sign of Sakura. I wonder if she even came to school today.
Marisa: Well I haven’t seen her all day so I take it she isn’t feeling good today.
Misty: If that’s the case, I’m going to go over to her house in a little while to see how she’s feeling.
Marisa: Good luck with that! We’re going to head off to auditions.
Misty: Break a leg you guys!
Marisa: Just breathe and try to stay positive!
May: Is she like that for every audition?
Marcus: Only if she has to sing at the audition. Otherwise, she’s great! Oh yeah, and she’s a little shaky when it comes to cold readings. Oh man, I have this great story from when we were…
Marisa: God Marcus, why don’t you just tell her my bra size while you’re at it?
Marcus: 38DD?
Marisa: Shut up! (Tracey walks up)
Tracey: Hey you guys!
Marisa: What are you doing here? Are you going to audition for Guys & Dolls too?
Tracey: No. I can’t sing or anything like that. I actually came by to wish you… (They all scream) What’s the matter?
May: Don’t say the G.L. word!
Tracey: What’s that?
Marcus: We’re not saying it because it means bad luck! Just say break a leg or I’ll break your legs!
Marisa: Sit boy!
Marcus: Nice try! That doesn’t work on me!
Tracey: Well, break a leg and I’ll see you guys tomorrow. (In the theatre)
May: My God, there are so many girls here!
Erika: What do you expect newbie! There are two big singing roles for the girls and everyone is fighting tooth and nail to get either role. I personally don’t care what role I get, just as long as I get to be with my Joshua!
Marisa: Great and I’ll roll my eyes to the back of my head!
Grace: Good news you guys! Jessie’s out sick with the flu and isn’t going to audition!
Erika: Hot damn! It’s like Christmas where I don’t have to see that bitch audition! Are you girls ready?
Kelly: I’m ready! But I have no chance since the daughter of the famous actor Norman is auditioning.
Miss Vivian: Alright students! We’re about to begin! (At Sakura’s house)
Misty: Sakura! (Knocks on the door) Come on Sakura! I know you’re in there. I saw you through the window.
Sakura: Damn. (She opens the door)
Misty: What’s going on Sakura? Why weren’t you in school today? (She starts to tear up) Oh no, I don’t even want to see those damn tears! I want to get through one damn conversation with you without you crying. (Sakura cries and runs to her room) Well that didn’t work! Nice going Misty! Sakura, I’m sorry for yelling at you! I’m sorry! (Back at auditions)
Kelly:
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
Grace:
Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Erika:
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
Joshua:
Lift up your head
Wash off your mascara
Here, take my Kleenex
Wipe that lipstick away
Show me your face, clean as the mornin'
I know things were bad, but now they're okay
Suddenly Seymour is standin' beside you
You don't need no makeup, don't have to pretend
Suddenly Seymour is here to provide you
Sweet understanding
Seymour's your friend
Tucker:
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure,
measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In
inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you
measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of love.
Harley:
I feel charming, oh so charming
It’s alarming how charming I feel
And so pretty, that I hardly can believe I’m real
Marisa:
We’re clearly soldiers in petticoats
And dauntless crusaders for women’s votes
Though we adore men individually
But we agree that as a group their rather stupid
Cast of the shackles of yesterday
Shoulder to shoulder into the fray…
Marcus:
Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation.
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination.
Silently the senses abandon their defences
Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendour.
Grasp it, sense it tremulous and tender.
Turn your face away from the garish light of day,
Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light -
and listen to the music of the night...
James:
I have a secret desire
Hiding deep in my soul
It sets my heart afire
To see me in this role
I wanna be a producer
With a hit show on Broadway
I wanna be a producer
Lunch at Sardi's every day
I wanna be a producer
Sport a top hat and a cane
I wanna be a producer
And drive those chorus girls insane!
I wanna be a producer
And sleep until half-past two
I wanna be a producer
And say, "You, you, you, not you"
I wanna be a producer
Wear a tux on op'ning nights!
I wanna be a producer
And see my name "Leo Bloom" in lights!
Drew:
A lady doesn’t leave her escort, it isn’t fair and it’s not nice
A lady doesn’t wander all over the room and blow on some other guys dice
So let’s keep the party polite (Clapping)
Never get out of my site
Stick with me baby I’m the fella you came in with, luck be a lady
Luck be a lady
Luck be a lady…TONIGHT (Cheers and applause)
May: I have to go up after that?
Marisa: Come on, I know you’re going to be a lot better than what I did up there. I was shaky, I couldn’t remember some of the words at the end, and oh God it was just so horrible. I hate auditions!
Harley: Oh you ladies have nothing to worry about, since I’ll be the one acting alongside that darling Drew.
Erika: Ha! Miss Vivian would never cast a male for a female role. Besides, as long as I can act next to my darling Joshua, I have already won.
Marcus: I guess you’re up now May. Break a leg.
May:
How can I hope to make you understand
Why I do, what I do
Why I must travel to a distant land
Far from the home I love… (Back at Sakura’s house)
Misty: Come on Sakura! Please open the door! I promise I won’t yell at you. (She opens the door) That’s better. So what’s up Sakura? Do you want to tell me why you blew off school today? Or do you want to keep me guessing? (Sakura sighs) I’m sorry Sakura. I just have to make sure that everything is okay.
Sakura: I’m sorry Misty. I just let the things that people said get to me. I heard a few things from some of the girls in our class…and it just got to me.
Misty: Oh, I see. I understand how you feel.
Sakura: No you don’t! You don’t understand going to school everyday and on a daily basis, have people look at you and talk about you behind your back. Spreading awful rumors and such! I just can’t live with that anymore.
Misty: The important thing is to try and ignore what those people say. Just don’t care what other people think and remember that if you keep a positive attitude, you’ll accomplish your goal. Remember, it’s what you think, not what other people think.
Sakura: You sound like someone in an after-school special, but you’re right Misty.
Misty: Well now that this is out of the way, let’s get back to work. Just follow me and my workout and in no time, you’ll have a figure like my older sister, except you won’t be an anorexic whore! (The next morning outside the theatre)
Marisa: I made it! I’m General Cartwright.
May: That’s great!
Marisa: It’s better than great! I don’t have to sing at all, it’s perfect!
Marcus: I’m Nicely, Nicely Johnson! Hot dog! Hey, and it looks like Drew is going to be Sky Masterson, as expected.
May: So I guess the big mouth can sing!
Joshua: How are you guys doing?
Marcus: Nicely, nicely thank you!
Joshua: I see he got the part of Nicely and I guess I’m playing Nathan Detroit.
May: Who’s going to play your girlfriend, Adelaide?
Marisa: Oh crap!
Erika: I GOT THE PART! I GOT THE PART! I’M PLAYING ADELAIDE! I’m acting with my Joshua. We’ll be the talk of the school. Nathan Detroit and Adelaide, Joshua and Erika, it just seems to work.
Marcus: That’s odd, it doesn’t say who is going to play Sarah Brown.
Solidad: That’s because there’s going to be a call back for that part. May and Harley are going to have to come back for a second audition.
May: Second audition?
Solidad: Yup, this is where you two get to do cold readings from the script. Miss Vivian will ask you to do a couple of scenes with Drew and she’ll base her decision on that plus the singing auditions.
Erika: So let me get this straight, she’s going up against Harley?
Marisa: That’s what she just said.
Erika: Listen up May, you don’t like me and I don’t like you, but you have to get that part. For the sake of all that is holy, don’t have him play a woman’s part. I never thought it would be possible for that fruit cup to have a girl’s singing voice. (In the hallway)
Tracey: Have you guys seen Marisa or Marcus?
Brock: They're over at the theatre to find out the results from the auditions yesterday.
Tracey: Great. I wanted to check back with them to see how they did yesterday.
Brock: Oh, here they come.
Tracey: So how did it go?
Marisa: Everything went as I expected. Marcus sang a song from Phantom and I choked on the audition. But the important thing is, we both got roles that we are satisfied with. I was just surprised by May. There’s no doubt in my mind that she and Drew are going to be the stars of this play.
May: Well first I have to get through the cold readings.
Tracey: I’m sure you’ll do fine May. (Misty and Sakura walk up)
Marcus: Well hi Misty! What a NICELY day we’re having!
Marisa: Stop trying to lead into the nicely line. Sakura, you’re looking well today.
Brock: Oh yeah, you’re looking very pretty today.
Tracey: Have you lost weight? (Sakura blushes)
Ash: What are you guys talking… (Misty covers his mouth)
Sakura: Thanks everyone, I’ll see you all later. (She leaves)
Misty: (Sighs) Okay guys, here are your five bucks. And remember, not a word of this gets back to Sakura!
Marisa: I love getting money, even if it is a bribe.
Marcus: I hear that! (After school in the theatre)
May: (Thinking) Even for a boy, Harley is very convincing. (Clapping)
Miss Vivian: Very good Harley. Now May, it’s time for your turn with…
Jessie: Wait Miss Vivian! I have to audition.
Marisa: Crap, crap!
Erika: No freakin’ way!
Grace: If there is a God, don’t let her audition.
Miss Vivian: Oh Jessie, I’m sorry you weren’t here yesterday. But I’m afraid that auditions are over. But you could always be on the costume crew. I’m always looking for someone to be a part of that.
Jessie: Ha-ha! It’s the part I was born for! Can I also do hair and makeup?
Miss Vivian: Um, sure. If you can handle the responsibility, I don’t see any problem with that.
Jessie: Thank you Miss Vivian! I won’t let you down! (She sits down)
Marisa: Thank you God!
Grace: Thank you Miss Vivian!
Erika: That was a close one. The last thing in the world I want is to act in another play with that girl.
Miss Vivian: Okay, where was I? Oh yeah! May, it’s your turn dear.
Marisa: Break a leg.
Miss Vivian: Alright May, turn to page 18. Now Drew, start off with your line of asking Sarah Brown to dinner.
Drew: Have dinner with me.
May: Why do you want to have dinner with me?
Drew: I’m hungry. (Gives her a piece of paper) Here.
May: What’s this?
Drew: My marker for twelve sinners. If you don’t think it’s good, ask anybody in town. I.O.U. one dozen sinners!
May: (Thinking) A phone number?
Drew: I’ll pick you up at noon tomorrow for dinner.
May: At noon?
Drew: It’ll take us some time to get there.
May: To get where?
Drew: To my favorite restaurant, El Café Cubana in Havana.
May: Havana? You mean Havana, Cuba?
Drew: Why not? The plane gets us there in five hours and back the same night. And the food is great.
May: (Blushes) I now realize, Mr. Gambler, when you were describing the blackness in your heart, you didn’t do yourself justice.
Drew: And I now realize Sister Sarah that no matter how beautiful a Sergeant is, she’s still a Sergeant.
May: Please go away.
Drew: Why don’t you change your pitch? Come to the Mission one and all, except Guys. I hate guys!
May: I don’t hate anybody.
Drew: Except me. I am relieved to know that it’s just me personally and not all guys in general. It’s nice to know that somewhere in the world there’s a guy who might appeal to you. I wonder what this guy will be like.
May: He will not be a gambler.
Drew: I can name better than you can the things he won’t be. But what will he be? Or how will you know when he gets to you?
May: Don’t worry, I’ll know. (She starts singing)
Solidad: (Whispering) Shouldn’t you call scene already?
Miss Vivian: (Whispering) Let them continue. I’m interested to see this again. (May continues singing)
Erika: (Thinking) I hate to admit it but she’s good. Not as great as me though.
Harley: (Thinking) Little Miss Newbie, I’ll fix her little wagon. (Drew starts to sing)
Marcus: (Thinking) Alright, we’re not going to have a transvestite in the play.
Marisa: (Whispering) Looks like she’s going to be Sarah Brown after all.
Marcus: Mm-hmm.
Jessie: Hmph, show off!
Drew: (Singing) Yes, I’ll know when my love comes along. (May and Drew stare at each other. Drew comes closer to her and May slaps him)
Miss Vivian: And scene. (Clapping) May that was wonderful. Okay, Solidad and I are going to discuss this and we’ll be back in a little while. (May gets off the stage)
Marisa: You were awesome May. You are definitely going to get the part.
May: Thanks Marisa. (Thinking) Why did he give me a phone number? (Aloud) Hey Drew, what is this?
Drew: It’s my phone number. You’re going to need all the help you can get with memorizing your lines. So why don’t you call me some time? (He walks away)
May: Don’t worry about me and worry about your own part. (She crumbles up the piece of paper) I can’t stand that guy.
Marcus: Really? Was it just my imagination or did I see you blushing an awful lot while you were on stage? (May growls) Ha, and I thought Marisa blushes a lot when she’s around... (May and Marisa slap Marcus)
Marisa: Wise ass!
May: I don’t know how you deal with him! (Jessie walks up)
Jessie: So you must be the new girl May. I’m Jessie, but you can call me…
Marisa: (Underneath) A bitch.
Jessie: What’d you say, nark? If I wasn’t out sick yesterday, I would have mopped the floor with you and then I would be playing the role of Sarah Brown!
Marcus: Can’t we all just get along?
Marisa: Apparently not!
Harley: I hate to disappoint you, but I’m going to be Sarah Brown and act next to Drew. Didn’t you see us on stage today? We have great chemistry.
Marcus: Chemistry?
Harley: Yeah, chemistry. (Solidad and Miss Vivian come back)
Miss Vivian: Well folks, it was indeed a close call. Both May and Harley did their very best today so let’s give them another round of applause. (Everybody claps) Well, the part of Sarah Brown will be played by…May. Congratulations!
May: I got the part! I GOT THE PART!
Marcus: You did it, I knew you could.
Drew: Well whatta you know?
Erika: So the little newbie made it.
Narrator: So I guess it was meant to be. But what’s more tense than the auditions, has to be the rehearsals. Stay tuned to see what I mean.
~*Preview*~
Marisa: Time for the rehearsals. All singing, all dancing, and a little bit of romance peaking. No, not from me! This time we focus our attention on our rising star May. If only she can get over the fear of kissing Drew on stage. Hmm...wonder what's up Jessie's sleeve. She's been hanging around May a little more than normal. That's not right! Next time on Romance 101, Chapter 25...See you next time!
Song(s) used:
*Far From the Home I Love from Fiddler on the Roof
*Luck Be A Lady from Guys & Dolls
*My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion
*Tomorrow from Annie
*Somewhere Over the Rainbow from the Wizard of Oz
*My Favorite Things from the Sound of Music
*Suddenly Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors
*Seasons of Love from RENT
*I Feel Pretty from West Side Story
*Sister Suffergate from Mary Poppins
*Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera
*I Wanna Be A Producer from the Producers
*I'll Know from Guys & Dolls