Embedded Files
~New Character Introduced~
Tad
Original Date of Post: 07/19/2009
Narrator: Oh man, entrance exams suck. You know what I mean! Those horrible, long, standardized ones! Those can kill! And studying for that crap sucks! Don’t worry. There’s a love story thrown somewhere in this chapter.
Conway: I got my scores in the mail yesterday! I got a 1450 on the S.A.T.'s.
Zoey: That’s great Conway. I’ve got my second S.A.T. this weekend. (Sighs) I always hate standardized testing.
Conway: Second?
Zoey: I wasn’t too thrilled about my test scores from the last time. I mean, they were good. Just not good enough to get into the college I'm aiming for.
Marley: I’m sure you’ll do fine this time around.
Zoey: I hope so Marley. I need a really good score to get into this college. (Opens a pamphlet)
Marley: Snowpoint College? Wow, way out there!
Zoey: I know it’s a little far, but it’s a great school. What about you Conway? What school would you be going to?
Conway: I haven’t given it that much thought to tell you the truth. There are several colleges that have already accepted me.
Zoey: Well with those scores, you can get into any college you want. You could even get into the famous Sandgem University!
Conway: I know. It’s just that I should run a few things past… (Dawn walks up)
Dawn: Hey guys.
Zoey: Where have you been?
Dawn: Talking with Scott. Man, I thought I did everything to get into Pallet University, but apparently I’ve got to take the S.A.T.'s.
Zoey: You mean you haven’t taken it yet? Dawn, those tests are what colleges all over the country use to judge you with.
Conway: I told her. You need to take that in order to get into college.
Zoey: I’m taking a few prep courses before my test. If you hurry and sign up, then maybe you can get in a few sessions before the test.
Marley: Not to mention, you’ve got to sign up to take the actual test.
Dawn: Okay, okay, I can do that! And within a month, I can do this no sweat.
Conway: Oh Dawn…my little girl. Sure it looks good on paper, but honey we’re nearing the end of March, graduation is at the beginning of May, and the last S.A.T. you can take for this school year is this Saturday.
Dawn: (Screams) Oh my God! You mean I only have five days to prepare? Oh man, I have so much to do and so little time. I’ll see you guys later. (Outside in the courtyard)
Johanna: Dawn, you lied to me!
Dawn: I didn’t lie to you.
Johanna: Yes you did, young lady. All year I kept telling you to take your S.A.T. and you kept saying, “No need to worry Mom. I already took it.” Now it’s near the end of the year and you’re telling me that you’ve never even taken it!
Dawn: No need to worry Mom.
Johanna: (Sighs) Alright young lady, I want you to go to your councilor and have him sign you up for the S.A.T. this Saturday.
Dawn: Oh damn! I might be late for class.
Johanna: JUST DO IT! (She hangs up)
Dawn: Yes ma’am. (At the community college)
Tracey: (Groans) I don’t want another question.
Marcus: Come on Tracey. Look, just a couple more questions and we can call the cram session quits.
Tracey: Remind me again why I’m doing this!
Marcus: Because you need to pass this class in order to get a transfer to the University and you want to get into this school to expand yourself as an artist. Well...that and you want to go to the University to see more of your girlfriend.
Tracey: Oh yeah. (Hits his head on the table) Ow!
Marcus: Hey, it’s just a little test. You’re not the only one in pain, so stop acting like you are!
Tracey: I know, but it’s still a pain in the butt to pass.
Marcus: I still don’t understand why I’m helping you with this task. Don’t you have a cousin or anyone else who could help you out?
Tracey: Not really. Cheryl's busy and my other cousin Mondo didn’t even finish high school.
Marcus: I could be working on my lines for Mama Mia! Or better yet, what about little buddy?
Tracey: Hey look, Marisa is kind of…busy.
Marcus: Oh yeah. That job of hers is quite the dictatorship. Okay, one more question. (Tracey sighs louder) If you can’t handle this test, then there’s no way you can handle the university.
Tracey: Fine. What’s the question? (A little later at the high school)
Roxanne: Yoo-hoo, Conway! I have a proposition for you.
Conway: (Blushes) Oh, Roxanne! What can I do for you?
Roxanne: Well you see, I’m retaking the S.A.T.'s on Saturday.
Conway: Oh…
Roxanne: My scores from the last test were pretty bad and I was wondering if you would be interested in tutoring me.
Conway: Huh? Roxanne…I don’t think I can…
Roxanne: Oh, don’t be so shy. You’ve got to let me know how you were able to get a combined score of 1450 on the test.
Conway: Wait, how’d you know I got a 1450?
Roxanne: Oh, the whole school knows! You’re one of the very few in this school who got high scores from that test.
Conway: Well, I do have some spare time on my hands this week and I do have some of my old prep books...What the heck! I’ll help you out.
Roxanne: Perfect. (Writes on a piece of paper) Here’s my phone number and I’m sure you remember the way to my house from the last time you were there.
Conway: Okay then, I will see you in a little while.
Roxanne: Okay. (In the library)
Dawn: What the hell kind of questions are these? I don’t even use these words in any of my classes. Why would colleges want you to know this crap?
Conway: How’s it going Dawn?
Dawn: Oh hey! (They kiss) Not too good. I’m trying to prepare for the S.A.T.'s and so far I’m having a crappy time.
Conway: What’s wrong?
Dawn: Have you seen these kinds of questions before?
Conway: Well…yes. When I took the test last month!
Dawn: Maybe the math section won’t be so hard. (Turns the page) Okay, I was wrong. Oh man! What the hell is this symbol? What are these formulas?! (Groans) I am so doomed!
Conway: Hey don’t worry about it. Do you want to have a tutor?
Dawn: Nah, I’ll get through this. If I buckle down and focus my mind on this, I’m sure I can get through this.
Conway: Okay, but if you need any help with understanding this material, you know who to call. (A little later at Roxanne’s house)
Roxanne: Welcome Conway.
Conway: Did this place get bigger since the last time I was here?
Roxanne: Well we did have an addition made to the west wing a couple of months ago.
Conway: So where do we go?
Roxanne: In my room. I’ll show you the way. Oh and please forgive me. I’m a complete wreck. I just got back from the gym, so I’m in my sweatpants.
Conway: No problem. (He stares at her butt) Uh… (She opens the door) Okay, let’s begin. Now which is the area that gave you the most trouble during the last test?
Roxanne: I believe it was math. I only got like a 350 on that portion.
Conway: Was it Geometry that threw you off or the Calculus? Tell you what, let me just go through some of these rough sheets with you. (He stares at her breasts) Yeah, here you go. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be outside the door getting a little fresh air, while you stay in here and get some of these worksheets done.
Roxanne: Okay. (He runs out of the room)
Conway: (Panting) Oh man. This is nuts! Why am I thinking about Roxanne…that way? I should only think about Dawn. Okay, focus man! Focus! (She opens the door)
Roxanne: Conway, I came to check on…
Conway: Get back to your room and STUDY, STUDY, STUDY! (The next day in the high school cafeteria)
Dawn: (Groans) Oh man…These questions are so stupid!
Brianna: Stupid as they may be, you still need to answer them right in order to go to Pallet University.
Dawn: How were you able to pass?
Brianna: I actually got a 1000 on the test overall. But because of my transcript and extra curricular activities, I was able to get into Pallet University.
Dawn: Ah! So why do I have to bust my butt?
Brianna: Because Miss Slacker, I at least took the test and on top of which, my grades are a tad bit better than yours. (Dawn sighs) No offense!
Dawn: None taken. I have to study my ass off if I want to get into Pallet University!
Brianna: Hey if you’re desperate, I can always loan you my answer sheet. The fools mail us back the sheet with the test results. How stupid! (Zoey walks up)
Zoey: No, you’re the one who is stupid Brianna. They have millions of test sheets and answer codes. The chances of your test and Dawn’s test matching up would be a million to one.
Brianna: But there’s still a chance right?
Zoey: And you say you’re the smart one?
Brianna: You can always ask Zoey for help. (Zoey stammers) You two can study together and maybe your scores will improve.
Dawn: That’s all fine and dandy, but I need help from someone who got a nice high score on the test. (Zoey growls) Conway!
Conway: Oh hi sweetie! (He walks up)
Dawn: Conway, could you help me out with tutoring for the S.A.T.'s?
Conway: Oh I wish I could Dawn, but I’ve already got my hands full with tutoring jobs for the same test. But if I can pull together a study group I’ll let you know. I’ll see you later. (He walks away)
Dawn: …Bye. Oh! Hey Zoey!
Zoey: What now? Are you desperate for my help now that your one sure-fire plan backfired?
Dawn: Do you know where I can find Max?
Zoey: (Growls) Just get out of my sight! (A little later in the hallway)
Max: I must decline Dawn! My hands are full with tutoring these guys. (Dawn groans)
Forrest: Hey Max, what does this word mean?
Max: You don’t know what lethargic means? (Sighs) It’s gonna take a miracle to get any kind of knowledge into that brain. Sorry Dawn.
Dawn: It’s okay. Good luck with the studying!
Max: Thanks, we’ll need it.
Dawn: Okay, time for Plan C! (In the library) Please!
Zoey: No.
Dawn: Come on Zoey!
Zoey: I said NO Dawn! (Shoves a book in her face) Geez! (A little later in Miss Prima’s class)
Dawn: (Whispering) You’d be helping out a friend!
Zoey: Get your own tutor!
Miss Prima: QUIET! (A little later in the bathroom)
Dawn: Please Zoey!
Zoey: For the love of God Dawn! Can’t I have some privacy in the bathroom? (Groans)
Dawn: Forgetting something?
Zoey: Dawn, give me the toilet paper or I will hurt you.
Dawn: Will you help me out?
Zoey: (Sighs) Fine. I’ll help you out if you give me the toilet paper. But you have to promise me that you’ll actually concentrate when you're studying with me.
Dawn: Fine, fine, fine! (Rolls the toilet paper under the door) No need to worry Zoey! It’ll be like the good old days when we used to study together.
Zoey: And as I recall you were lazy and took frequent naps and study breaks. You better shape up this time because I’m not going to be able to pull your ass out of the fire if you fail. (A little later at the community college)
Tracey: (Sighs) This test is going to be the death of me. (Marcus walks up)
Marcus: Okay, I’m here…AGAIN!
Tracey: I really appreciate you helping me with this Marcus.
Marcus: Against my best wishes. Again I ask, why don’t you have Marisa help? I think she has a day off!
Tracey: Because the last time I had her help me out with studying for a final, I ended up getting no work done, failed my final, and failed the course. But I shouldn’t talk because I did the same thing to her a couple of years ago.
Marcus: How cute? Now let me take a look at what your teacher wants you to study.
Tracey: Here you go.
Marcus: Good Lord! That many things?
Tracey: I’m doomed!
Marcus: Now don’t panic! Today is only Tuesday and your test is on Friday, so that leaves you over two days to study. (Beep)
Tracey: Oh! I got an email. Whoa! I got an extra day of studying! The teacher has an emergency and the test got pushed to Saturday.
Marcus: Very good. You’ll have to waste a perfectly good Saturday, but at least you get an extra day for studying.
Tracey: I guess things are finally coming up my way. (Phone ringing) Hello? Oh yes sir. Really…You want me to come in tomorrow and Thursday? But I have finals to study for and…Out with the flu? I understand. I’ll go through with it. (Hangs up) Well I’m screwed! I have to go to work right after school tomorrow and Thursday. (Sighs) I already put in my time off, but they called me in anyways. Work life sucks!
Marcus: (Singing) Mama Mia, here I go again… (Normal) Oh sorry, I wasn’t listening! (At Roxanne’s house)
Conway: Okay, carry the two…and there’s your answer.
Roxanne: Cool. Thank you so much for these study sessions Conway. Phew! It’s getting really hot in here. (Takes off her sweater) That’s better!
Conway: (Thinking) Whoa!
Roxanne: It’s a little stuffy in here. I’m going to open up a window.
Conway: Um…sure… (Thinking) Whoa…Roxanne is… (Gulps) HOT!
Warrant: (Singing) She’s my Cherry Pie…
Narrator: Sorry, this song just seemed to click for me!
Conway: Oh yeah and I’d like to lick that cherry pie!
Roxanne: What’d you just say?
Conway: Huh? Oh…I just said my mom made some cherry pie and I should go home and eat that. Um…just keep working on the workbook I gave you and I’ll check back on you in a couple of days! Bye now!
Narrator: Two long and study-filled days later…In the public library…
Tracey: Hmm…I haven’t tried this book before. (Looks at the clock) It’s getting late.
Dawn: How about this one?
Zoey: Fine! Get that one and let’s get studying! (Groans) Dawn, do we really need all of these books?
Dawn: No need to worry. With all of these books, there’s no way we can fail the test. (Puts the book on Zoey’s head)
Zoey: I’m going down!
Dawn: Just hold it until we get to your car. (Tracey walks by) Oh hi Tracey!
Tracey: Hey Dawn! (Zoey falls down) Whoa! Zoey! Are you okay?
Zoey: I will be as soon as I hurt Dawn! The library is about to close, you know!
Tracey: Oh crap! (Picks up his book) I’ll see you guys later. I have a final to study for!
Dawn: Bye Tracey! Well come on Zoey, let’s get a move on! (A little later at Tracey’s house)
Tracey: (Sighs) Time for some much needed studying. (Opens his door) What the? (Tad vomiting) Yeah, I needed to hear that! (Walks into the kitchen) Mom, why is Tad in my bed puking his guts out?
June: Well, you know his girlfriend is pregnant. She doesn’t want to risk getting sick. So she sent Tad here until he finishes off this nasty flu.
Tracey: Great! How the hell am I going to finish studying? I barely had time to study all week because of work!
June: You can study in the living room! I’ll let you have your privacy. (Tad walks out in the living room) Oh Tad!
Tracey: Ah!
June: Tad honey, now the bathroom is this way.
Tad: (Weakly) Thanks…Auntie!
Tracey: (Sighs) Back to work! (Opens the backpack) What the hell is this? A book on the S.A.T.'s! What the…Where’s my Psychology book? Ah! I must have picked up the wrong book when I ran into Dawn and Zoey. I have to find them! Okay, let me think if I can remember where Dawn lives. Ah crap, I don't have time for this! (Back at Roxanne’s house)
Conway: (Thinking) Focus Conway! This is your final night tutoring Roxanne. Just keep yourself focused on the job and you won’t do something you’ll regret.
Roxanne: Conway…
Conway: Huh?
Roxanne: Do you want to go through the English portion with me?
Conway: Oh…sure…
Roxanne: Oh, hold on a second! I gotta take off this stupid jacket! (Conway stammers and faints) Oh my God! Conway! (Gives him CPR) Come on Conway! Breathe damn it! (Breathes into him) Come on Conway!
Narrator: Well, it was at that time Conway opened his eyes and stuck his dirty tongue into her dirty mouth. And by the way, this dirty moment of Romance 102 is brought to you in part by Orbitz Chewing Gum! For a good clean feeling no matter what! Oh look at that! Conway just took off Roxanne’s bra using only one hand. That geek is pretty crafty! And holy crap they’re both naked right now! Dawn’s going to have a holy bitch-fit when she finds out about this. (At Zoey’s house)
Zoey: Come on Dawn!
Dawn: The answer is…A…NO WAIT it’s B! Maybe C!
Zoey: You’ve been on the first mock question for the last 30 minutes. JUST PICK A DAMN ANSWER!
Dawn: I don’t know! I don’t know!
Zoey: PICK ONE!
Dawn: I CAN’T! IT’S TOO HARD!
Zoey: Just so you know Dawn, the test is timed. Just pick the answer that seems right to you.
Dawn: I’ll pick…B! No wait, C! I pick C! Am I right? Please tell me I’m right!
Zoey: The answer is F, none of the above.
Dawn: WHAT? Who puts an F in the choices? That’s just begging for you to fail.
Zoey: Question two…Hey, where do you think you’re going?
Dawn: Time for a study break! (Turns on the television) Oh look, Friends is on and Joey has the raw turkey on his head. That one always makes me laugh! (Zoey grabs the remote and turns off the TV)
Zoey: Back to work! (A little later at Dawn’s house)
Johanna: I’m sorry but Dawn’s not here!
Tracey: Do you know where she is?
Johanna: She should be studying at her friend Zoey’s house.
Tracey: Thanks! Ah! I don’t even know where that is!
Johanna: Relax! I’ll give you directions. It’s only a five minute drive from here. You just take this street all the way until you reach Main. Then take a left at Central. And this is the number to her address.
Tracey: Thanks again! (Runs to the car) Okay it is now…7:30pm! (Sighs) Great! (Back at Roxanne’s house)
Conway: Oh man!
Roxanne: Yes…Wow! Is that what you do to Dawn?
Conway: No…NO…Never did that with Dawn ever. Is this your first time…?
Roxanne: Hell no! Sure as hell not the first, but I will say this Conway, you’re the best out of all of them.
Conway: How many were there? Never mind! I don’t want to know! I just know that I cannot do that…again…EVER! I love Dawn and that’s all there… (Stares at Roxanne) Um…
Roxanne: Well…With your glasses off, you do look kind of cute.
Conway: And when you’re not being a rude snot, you’re actually cute. Though I must confess that your rude attitude was kind of a turn-on for me!
Roxanne: So…what are you going to do now?
Conway: I suppose I should either stop seeing you or stop seeing Dawn. What do I do?
Roxanne: I know… (She pins him down)
Narrator: This wonderful sex scene is brought to you in part by Trojan Condoms. Before you whip out that big, floppy, donkey dick…Put a condom on it! Time for a heated battle at Zoey’s house)
Zoey: You fucking bitch!
Dawn: I’ll slit your fucking throat! (Both screaming)
Narrator: Well that escalated quickly!
Zoey: I swear to God Dawn, I will cut off all that pretty hair of yours! (Doorbell rings)
Dawn: (Panting) Answer the door Zoey!
Zoey: Not until you put down the fork! (Knock on the door) Fine, we’ll both get it. (They open the door) Tracey?
Tracey: Hi Zoey. I was wondering if you girls have one of my books by mistake. I got one of yours.
Dawn: Hey, we could use this. I’ll check our pile of books.
Tracey: Sorry to bother you guys. It’s just that I have this big test to study for.
Zoey: Us too.
Tracey: What the hell happened in here? It looks like a typhoon hit.
Zoey: We sort of got into a bit of a fight while we were studying.
Dawn: It was your fault!
Zoey: Shut it or I’ll shut it for you!
Dawn: I found your book.
Tracey: Thanks. (Dawn and Zoey glare at each other) Uh-oh…Come on girls. Try to get along! (They both scoff) Come on you guys. The S.A.T.'s are not a big deal. I didn’t do so well on the test but I still ended up in college. You shouldn't stress over it.
Dawn: Easy for you to say. You’re in college. My choice won’t take me in unless I get a decent score on it.
Zoey: Same here.
Tracey: As long as you try your best, there’s nothing to worry about. The test is nothing to kill over. Although, I remember when Marisa was about to take the test. She threatened me with a knife! Well enough of my pandering. I must get back to my own studying. (He leaves)
Dawn: I’m sorry Zoey.
Zoey: I’m sorry too. Come on. Let’s continue. If we understand some of this, I think we’ll be okay. (A little later at Tracey’s house)
Tracey: Ugh! This crap is going to drive me insane.
June: Honey, did you want some popcorn?
Tracey: Huh? Oh, no thank you. I’m not that hungry. (She leaves the room) Now where was I? (Sounds of the television) Oh man! (Shouting) Mom, can you turn that down in the other room?
June: (Shouting) Sorry honey!
Tracey: (Sighs) Okay…Marx was… (Doorbell rings) God damn it! (Opens the door) What are you doing here?
Mondo: Hey man! I need a place to stay for a little while! (He walks in and shuts the door)
Tracey: Great! Stay at your parent’s house!
Mondo: Too risky! That beast may already be there!
Tracey: Have you been taking prescription pills again? Look, you can’t stay here! Tad is here getting over the flu and I need to study for my final exam.
Mondo: Hey, I can help you with that. What’s the subject baby cousin?
Tracey: Psychology.
Mondo: Oh…um…Well that…Ugh…
Tracey: That’s what I thought. Why don’t you make yourself useful and stay in the bedroom with my mother. She's watching television so that should keep you entertained. Just keep quiet! (In the other room)
Mondo: Hey Auntie!
June: Mondo, what are you doing here?
Mondo: I need a place to crash for the next couple of days and I have to give the old boy some privacy in there. You better check to make sure he ain’t hiding that girlfriend of his anywhere.
June: I know my son. He’s studying really hard in there.
Mondo: Ooh, turn it up! I love My Name Is Earl! (Laughing) That guy is a hoot! (In the other room)
Tracey: SHUT UP! (Growls) At this rate, I’m never going to remember any of this crap. I need a place…Ah! The bathroom will shut out all sounds! (He walks to the bathroom) I know I’m scraping at the bottom of the barrel by studying in the bathtub, but I really need to get some work done.
Narrator: About five minutes later…
Tracey: Hmm… (Thinking) I’m starting to get this! Maybe there’s hope for me yet. (Tad vomiting) What the? (Pulls back the shower curtain) Oh dude!
Tad: (Groans) Sorry about that…The flu sucks! (Vomits)
Tracey: Okay, I guess it’s back to the living room. (He walks into the room) Huh? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
Mondo: Well My Name is Earl is over and your mother wanted to watch this fruit show on Bravo, so I came in here to watch wrestling.
Tracey: No, absolutely not! (Turns off the television) Mondo, leave!
Mondo: I can’t! I told you I’m not leaving this house until I get word from my friend that the coast is clear.
Tracey: You can only stay in this room if you promise to be super quiet. (Mondo groans) You either do that, or you go in my room with Tad.
Mondo: Fine, fine! I’ll stay in Auntie’s room! Maybe I’ll catch up on my latest edition of Hustler! (An hour later)
Tracey: (Sighs) Hmm…Okay. Finished making a note card for Chapter 16…Now onto Chapter 17! (Tad walks out of the room)
Tad: (Weakly) Tracey…
Tracey: Huh? Oh hi Tad! How are you feeling?
Tad: Ugh…I’ve seen better days. I came out here to get some water.
Tracey: Stay right there. I’ll get you some water. (He runs into the kitchen)
Tad: Uh-oh! Tracey…could you get me a… (Vomits) Oh…never mind!
Tracey: AH! My notes! MY NOTES!
Mondo: What’s all the screaming about? Your mother just went to sleep!
Tracey: Tad threw up all over my notes!
Mondo: I’m sure he didn’t mean to. He is sick after all! (Tracey sighs) Hey, the way I see it is that once you write something down, it’s most likely going to stick inside your head.
Tracey: You know, you’ve got a point there. Well, at least he didn’t vomit on the notes I had for Chapter 18. (Doorbell rings)
Mondo: Oh shit!
Tracey: Wonder who that could be!
Mondo: (Whispering) Don’t answer it!
Tracey: Who the hell is it?
Mondo: Well…This guy is a little mad at me because I may or may not have knocked up his niece.
Tracey: You did what?
Mondo: Not so loud! Mongo might hear you!
Tracey: Mongo? (Banging on the door)
June: (Yawns) What on earth is going on in here?
Mondo: Auntie! You better go back into your room. It was just the sound of the wind. (Banging on the door) Don’t answer Tracey! (Phone ringing) Ah!
Tracey: It’s just my cell phone! Hello?
Marisa: Hi Tracey.
Tracey: Marisa, it’s not really a good time for… (Mondo grabs the phone) Hey!
Mondo: Marisa, I haven’t spoken to you in a long time! How’s my favorite fine-looking sister doing?
Marisa: Who the fuck are you?
Mondo: Come on! How you gonna play a brother?
Marisa: Oh Mondo…Put Tracey back on the phone. (Tracey grabs the phone) Are you two drunk?
Tracey: Look, now’s not a good time. I’ll talk to you later. (Hangs up) Mondo, I do not want to die by the hands of a guy who’s named after a Blazing Saddles character. Get rid of this guy! He wants you.
Mondo: What makes you so sure he wants me? He could want Tad! He could have a loan shark after him!
Mongo: MONDO! I KNOW YOU’RE IN HERE! (Mondo shrieks)
Tracey: That’s it! I’ve had it! I need some time to study AND THAT’S WHAT I’M GOING TO GET! (Walks outside)
Mondo: Wow, he’s got guts! (Pounding) Ooh, and hopefully his guts will remain inside his body. (A little later)
Tracey: Ugh… (Opens his eyes)
Mondo: That was one heck of a fight you put up for me. I guess he thought you were me. Good thing the two of us look alike!
Tracey: (Groans) And it’s a good thing I see two of you because I don’t know which one I want to hit. Just tell me what time it is.
Mondo: It’s a little past midnight.
Tracey: Damn it! My whole night of studying is ruined thanks to you. Now I’m never going to pass the final or the class or go to the University.
Mondo: No problem baby cousin. I got you hooked up! I can always read you the book while you rest. Most likely you’d remember when you wake up! (In the living room)
Tracey: Might as well. I’m at the end of my ropes here. Just start at Chapter 18 and go to 20.
Mondo: Three chapters? Oh man!
Tracey: Just do it!
Mondo: Alright. Just lie down and keep the ice pack on your head so you don’t go into a coma or anything. (Flips through the book) Chapter 18…It is with this chapter we start the theory of… (Tracey yawns and snoozes)
Narrator: About one minute later…
Mondo: This is some boring crap! Time for some Hustler! Ooh, Miss December! (Later in a classroom)
Tracey: Huh? Oh man! I don’t know any of the answers. Oh geez! Oh crap!
Woman: Be quiet while the test is in progress.
Tracey: Sorry. Hmm… (Pencil snaps) Oh man, that’s just great! Excuse me…Do you have an extra pencil I can borrow?
Dawn: Here you go!
Tracey: Dawn? What are you doing in my Psychology class?
Zoey: Dude, this is the S.A.T.'s.
Tracey: (Screams) I’m taking the wrong test! I’m going to fail for sure.
Woman: That’s it! Young man… (She turns around)
Tracey: Marisa?
Marisa: That’s right handsome!
Tracey: What are you doing here? Why are you in a bikini?
Marisa: Sex me up dirty boy!
Tracey: Marisa… (Blushes) What happened to waiting until marriage?
Marisa: Screw that… (Seductively) And screw me! (Tracey wakes up)
Tracey: Ah! Oh my head! (Mondo snoring) Mondo, wake up!
Mondo: (Dreamily) No I don’t think your butt’s too saggy, Miss October!
Tracey: Mondo! (He opens his eyes)
Mondo: Good morning! I was having a great dream where I was traveling Europe with the sexy pin-ups in my magazine.
Tracey: You don’t say! What time is it?
Mondo: It is…8:30 my friend! (Tracey screams) Relax dude! The boxing event isn’t for another four hours.
Tracey: No you idiot! My final exam is in thirty minutes.
Mondo: I’ll get you there in twenty! Just don’t forget to put on a seat belt. (Back at the high school)
Zoey: So are you ready?
Dawn: I’m sick to my stomach! Hey wait! I heard a rumor that you get 200 points just by getting your name right.
Zoey: And that’s exactly what it is…Just a rumor! (Dawn sighs) Dawn, just use your best intuition. If there’s an answer that seems right, go with it.
Dawn: That makes a lot of sense. Is that the theory you used when you took this test the first time around? (Zoey punches her in the arm) What?
Zoey: Alright wise ass! Think about this! If Brianna was able to get in Pallet University with her crappy score, then surely you are able to breeze right on in.
Dawn: You think?
Zoey: I know. She took her S.A.T.'s a couple of months ago and got less than half of the answers right on that thing. Look, as long as you take the test…and yes get a good chunk of it right, you’ll get into Pallet for sure.
Dawn: Thanks Zoey. Sorry I was such a pain to work with last night.
Zoey: Ah hell Dawn! You’re okay. Just no more study sessions with you!
Dawn: That’s the smartest thing I've heard all morning. (Roxanne walks by)
Roxanne: Hello ladies! Ready for the test! I know I am!
Dawn: Well hell of course you are! You were hogging Conway all week I barely got a chance to see him. (Roxanne giggles) Hey, what’s so funny?
Roxanne: Nothing. (She walks away)
Zoey: Don’t let her get to you today.
Dawn: Right! Let’s kick that test’s butt! (At the Community College)
Teacher: Alright, when I hand you your test, you may begin.
Tracey: (Thinking) Huh? Hmm…I actually know this. There’s hope yet! (The next day at the diner)
Marcus: Nice of you to crawl out of your shell.
Marisa: Don’t blame me! I’ve been busting my butt at work and school. (Sighs) I’m too tired to even hit you for saying stupid things.
Marcus: Then you won’t mind me asking you if Tracey planted his seed in your womanly dirt yet! (She hits him) Ouch! You said you were too tired to hit me.
Marisa: I felt the inspiration to hit you after saying something so ridiculously stupid!
Zoey: Same old slapstick I see!
Marisa: Hi Zoey!
Marcus: Hey Dawn! How are you two doing?
Zoey: Okay for the most part.
Dawn: We’re actually here to celebrate my good news! After I took my test yesterday, the admissions office at Pallet University called me and told me I’m a complete shoe-in. The S.A.T.'s are just a formality since they have everyone take it, but I’m a definite shoe-in for being a student for the fall.
Marisa: That’s great to hear Dawn. (Giggles) That means we’ll be going to school together next year. What about you Zoey?
Zoey: Well I won’t know my scores from the S.A.T.'s for another couple of weeks. But hopefully it’ll be enough to get me into Snowpoint.
Marcus: That’s a pretty campus. I know one of my friends got in there.
Marisa: But you must remember to always have a backup in case the other one fails.
Zoey: I know which is why I applied to Celadon University too!
Dawn: That’s great! That means you’re only a state or two away from here. We can have more study sessions.
Zoey: No Dawn! No more sessions…EVER!
Tracey: Hi guys!
Marisa: Hi Tra…Oh my God! (All gasp) What happened to your face?
Marcus: What’d you do?
Tracey: Long, LONG story! Mondo got me in trouble with this big guy…it was just an ugly mess.
Marcus: So Tracey…any word from the test you took yesterday?
Tracey: Yup! They posted the grades online today. I passed with a B! You know what that means!
Marcus: It means I whip your ass some more so you get an A next time! (Marisa hits him) Ouch!
Marisa: It means you get to go to the University with me next semester! (She hugs him)
Tracey: Ow! Ow!
Marisa: Oh I’m sorry hon!
Tracey: No problem. Just that my whole body aches right now!
Marisa: Oh poor baby!
Marcus: Aw…I sense someone is about to have sex! (Marisa hits him) What? You are the most likely person at this table to have sex next. (Marisa blushes) Well you or Dawn!
Dawn: Whoa now! Let’s not get too carried away here! Conway and I have talked about it, but there’s no way in hell neither one of us is ready to have sex. (Back at Roxanne’s house)
Roxanne: Ready for another round!
Conway: You’ve got it, my cherry pie! (Cherry Pie by Warrant plays in the background)
~*Preview*~
Max: Graduation is upon us…and now we have secrets coming out of the closet. First of all, Drew has a skeleton come out of the closet. Oh my, she’s really pretty! Hope May doesn’t find out. Meanwhile, Conway has been acting rather strange these last few weeks. I wonder what’s going on with him. Next time on Romance 102, Chapter 35…See you next time!
Song(s) used
*Mama Mia
*Cherry Pie by Warrant
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