Embedded Files
~Returning Characters~
Lt. Surge, Norman, Giorgio, and Marina
Original Date of Post: 12/07/2008
Narrator: What do you get when you cross a bunch of people wearing tights and speaking a funny language, and wrap it in a thick coating of the Bubonic Plague? The answer is the middle ages! The good people of Pallet High are putting on a Renaissance Fair in order to rebuild the old theatre which was sadly destroyed by a pipeline bust. (Marcus sobbing) Some took the news of the destruction of the theatre worse than others.
Marcus: It’s just so sad! (Crying)
Marisa: Oh, stop with the damn tears Marcus. I know I said I can be a shoulder to cry on, but you’re abusing that privilege. Get off me! (Pushes Marcus off)
Marcus: You’re mean!
Marisa: Grow up! If you ask me, this is just karma coming into play.
Tracey: Clarify please.
Marisa: The school has neglected the theatre department for years and not supplying Miss Vivian the things she needed to make our productions shine. So they give it to some hack after she quits and the whole thing goes to hell. If you ask me, the ones in charge deserved it, not the students.
Marcus: You’re a vengeful bitch, aren’t you?
Marisa: Actually, Dawn was the one who said it first. She and Laura visit me occasionally.
Marcus: I’ll buy that. And another thing, why did you drag us here?
Marisa: Laura invited me to this event and I didn’t feel like coming alone…or with my parents.
Marcus: I can see why you invited me since I’m a theatre veteran, but why Tracey?
Marisa: Just in case we find a portable toilet to make-out in.
Marcus: That sounds gross, even for you. Well, while you two go on with your filth of a relationship, I actually want to see living proof of the damaged theatre.
Tracey: What are you talking about?
Marcus: I want to see the inside. You know, see the damage.
Tracey: I don’t think we’ll be able to go in there. The whole place is roped off in that yellow, police tape.
Marisa: Right. Now let’s go to this Renaissance Fair and hope to God it doesn't suck total ass.
Marcus: Oh, that reminds me. Since you told me that we’re coming back here to help out the theatre department, I invited Kelly to come along.
Marisa: I guess there’s nothing wrong with a little female companionship. Oh, speak of the devil! (Kelly runs up)
Kelly: Marcus!
Marcus: Kelly! (They make out)
Marisa: Oh, get a room! (In a dressing room)
Brianna: This is so unbelievable!
Dawn: What are you complaining about now? You got to be the Queen and that was the role you wanted.
Brianna: Yeah, but that was before I found out who my King was!
Dawn: Morrison isn’t that bad.
Brianna: Yeah, if you don’t mind being married to a fat slob! (Sighs) I could have been the princess. At least I’m straight!
Dawn: Shut up Brianna. There’s no rule saying a princess has to be straight or gay.
Brianna: Well what I meant to say was that it would have been a smarter idea to have a straight girl play the role of the princess on a count of the princess has to kiss the boy who is the winner of the jousting competition. And in all fairness, it should be someone who doesn’t go throwing up every time a boy comes past you.
Dawn: Brianna, I only threw up one time. But you couldn’t blame me because Kenny will make anyone nauseous on sight.
Brianna: On another subject, all semester you have been making me very confused when it comes to your sexual preference. Is it gay or straight?
Dawn: Can’t really tell you. It’s none of your business. (Knock on the door)
Brianna: Who is it? (The door opens) Ugh!
Morrison: Hey, you’re supposed to be out walking the festival.
Dawn: We’ll be out in a second Morrison.
Morrison: Hey, you girls want some mutton?
Dawn: Um, I think we’ll pass on that.
Morrison: Suit yourself. (Chomps) Mmm, this stuff is good. (Brianna slams the door)
Brianna: I’m going to need a barf bag.
Dawn: Just promise me you won’t give him punch him or injure him in any way while you’re in character.
Brianna: Can’t make any promises.
Dawn: Remember, he’s got full authority all day as king.
Brianna: The kingdom is run by an idiot…I can see some similarities to real life. Now get under the canopy and the veils. Remember, no one knows you are princess yet.
Dawn: Right. (Out at the festival)
Lt. Surge: Alright boys! Jousting isn’t an easy sport to do. But if you listen to me, you’ll be just fine.
Kenny: That doesn’t sound too bad.
Lt. Surge: Just sign these wavers relieving us away from a big lawsuit and you’ll be fine.
Conway: I’m not too sure about this now.
Forrest: I’m going to win and get that kiss from that sexy, sexy princess.
Conway: Do we even know who this princess is?
Forrest: Not yet. But they should announce it sometime soon. I’m making a guess that the princess is going to be Roxanne. She’s one foxy-momma!
Riley: Or maybe Laura! She’s got that sweet and innocent effect. (Trumpets play)
Max: Hear ye, hear ye! Welcome one and all to ye old Renaissance Fair! Bathrooms are by the Blacksmith tent. (Sighs and groans) The things I do just so I can get an extra-curricular activity out of the way.
Forrest: You look really good on your little stool! (He jumps off a stool)
Max: Just when my popularity can’t sink any lower…
Caroline: Maxie!
Max: It hits rock bottom!
Caroline: Oh! (Kisses him) You look so adorable in your costume, Maxie!
Max: Oh Mom!
Norman: Smile for the camera! (Camera flashes) Caroline, get some more pictures.
Max: I’m so embarrassed. (Forrest snickering) And what’s so funny?
Forrest: Nothing…Maxie!
Max: Shut up Forrest!
Forrest: You are such a mama’s boy! (Lola runs up)
Lola: Forrest! You forgot your lunch. Oh and you’ve got a little smudge on your cheek! (Spits on a handkerchief and rubs his cheek) You get so messy! There, all clean!
Max: You were saying? (Forrest growls)
Brock: Oh come on, Forrest. Don’t be like that! You’ve got to stop acting like a pig and then maybe you’ll get a girlfriend. Isn’t that right Jasmine?
Jasmine: Well, your brother is a pig and you eat like one. So…
Brock: Thanks for the support. (Jasmine giggles)
Forrest: So Max, are you going to partake in the jousting competition?
Max: We’re actually doing one?
Forrest: Yup! And the winner shall get a kiss from the mysterious princess. I don’t know who this princess is yet, but I have a strong hunch that it’s Roxanne.
Max: Roxanne? (Blushes) You mean from our class?
Forrest: Foxy-Roxy, you’ve got it!
Brock: Who’s Roxanne?
Forrest: She was in our class last year. I’m surprised you’ve never met her or hit on her.
Jasmine: Hmm? What was that?
Brock: Oh, he’s just kidding! Doesn’t ring a bell, Forrest!
Forrest: Well, I always keep a picture of her. (Pulls out a picture) Here she is.
Brock: Oh baby. Wow, that’s… (Jasmine growls) …A damn shame that I’m already taken. You know I always love you Jasmine. Don’t you, baby? I love you!
Jasmine: (Scoffs) Go love your picture-whore! (She walks away)
Brock: Oh wait, Jasmine!
Flint: Talk about saying the wrong thing. (Brock runs off)
Max: If Roxanne is the princess then I’m going to do the jousting!
Caroline: No you don’t! Max, I don’t want you doing any kind of jousting! Besides you already have a job today and that is greeting the people to the fair.
Max: But Mom…
Caroline: The answer is no Max.
Forrest: (Whispering) Don’t worry. I’ll get you to that jousting competition. (Nearby)
Oak: Darn it! Why did I say I would be a wizard? These costumes are so hard to walk in!
Laura: We can’t shorten this anymore! And try not to trip over it! Just take baby steps.
Oak: I don’t know how you ladies walk in long dresses.
Laura: Just take baby steps. (Marisa, Tracey, and Marcus walk up)
Marisa: I thought I saw it all when Oak was rocking out at the Manson concert, but this is one for the books!
Laura: Well look who came! How much did your father bribe you with?
Marisa: Oh that’s not important. What’s important is that we’re here supporting our old theatre after the little incident. (Marcus sobs) As you can see, some of us are a little more saddened by this outcome than others.
Marcus: IT WAS SO YOUNG!
Laura: Well I’ve got to check on all of the festivities and make sure they’re running smoothly. (She runs off)
Oak: Okay, back in to character I go. (Puts on a fake beard) Just call me Merlin! (Waves a wand around) This is fun! Oh, but I have to go make an announcement! (He walks away)
Marcus: Come on. The coast is clear, so we can see the theatre for ourselves.
Marisa: Give it up already!
Kelly: She’s right Marcus. The whole place is blocked off by yellow, police tape.
Man: To the stocks with you!
Marley: Let go of me! (Zoey runs up)
Zoey: Oh man. Why did she throw a rock at Lt. Surge?
Marcus: Zoey?
Zoey: Oh, it’s you guys. I haven’t seen you all in a while.
Kelly: Who was the girl that was being carried away?
Zoey: (Sighs) That would be my girlfriend, Marley. (Sighs) She’s always so hell-bent on trying to pick a fight with the gym teacher. Sometimes I wonder about her.
Marisa: Hmm, hey Zoey…
Zoey: Yeah?
Marisa: Oh…Never mind. It’s nothing really. (Trumpets playing)
Oak: Hear ye, hear ye! The festival is proud to present King Morrison and his trophy wench, Brianna!
Brianna: (Thinking) Trophy wench? I thought I was the Queen! Okay, just smile and wave to the public. (Chomping noises) And ignore my idiot husband!
Oak: And under this canopy, wrapped and covered in veils is the princess. Her identity shall remain a secret until later.
Marisa: Does it bother anybody else that Principal Oak sounds like a pirate more than someone from the middle ages?
Zoey: He’s trying, I’ll give him that. Oh, that’s right! I’ll see you guys later. I have to go bail out Marley. (She runs off)
Marcus: I wonder who the princess is. Princess must mean someone of great beauty! (Kelly growls)
Tracey: Indeed, a beauty. (Marisa growls)
Marisa: Want to teach our boys a lesson?
Kelly: Lets! (They hit them)
Marisa: What have we learned today boys?
Both: Our heads hurt!
Kelly: What else?
Both: We’re pigs! (In a tent)
Zoey: Hello?
Giorgio: Huh? What do ye want, wench?
Wally: Hi Zoey!
Giorgio: Stay in character, numb-nuts!
Zoey: A moment with ye prisoner over yonder.
Wally: Denied. (Giorgio walks away) Sorry Zoey, I can’t let you do it. She just threw a rock at the coach and she has to be punished.
Zoey: You ever been beaten up by a girl before? (Cracks knuckles)
Wally: Fine. You’ve got five minutes with her before the audience pelts her with tomatoes. (He walks away)
Zoey: Do you care to explain why you threw a rock at Lt. Surge?
Marley: He’s a sexist pig that needed to be taken down a few pegs!
Zoey: I know he is, but that’s still no reason to throw a rock at him.
Marley: I wanted to compete in the jousting competition.
Zoey: Come again?
Marley: I went out for it, but of course the evil coach told me I couldn’t because I’m just a girl…Oh I’m sorry, WENCH!
Zoey: Duh Marley! This is a Renaissance Fair! Meaning that we’re in the 1500’s where women have absolutely no rights and are referred to as wenches! (Drums playing) I better get out of here. (She runs out of the tent)
Wally: It’s time! (They bring Marley to the stocks)
Giorgio: Commence fire on my command! (Silence) …NOW! (Tomatoes hit Marley)
Zoey: This is too brutal to watch. But it’s for her own good. She can’t get out of character in a place like this. Everybody’s taking their role seriously. Huh? I’ve got an idea. (A little later at a tent)
Brock: Mmm…This mutton is yummy! Do you want some Jasmine?
Jasmine: Why don’t you ask your picture-whore if she wants one?
Brock: Oh come on. You know you’re the only girl for me.
Jasmine: Feh! You expect me to believe that crap?
Brock: What do you want me to say?
Jasmine: Just forget it Brock. (She walks away)
Flint: You blew it, son!
Brock: (Sarcastic) Thanks for the news-flash, Tom Brokaw!
Flint: Don’t take that tone with me! You’re not too old for me to put you over my knee and spank you in front of this crowd.
Brock: What am I going to do with Jasmine?
Flint: Hey, you got into this mess yourself. It’s up to you to get out.
Brock: (Thinking) A lot of help you are, old man! (On the field)
Lt. Surge: And…GO! (Conway rides on a horse) Don’t drop your instrument! Aim for the dummy!
Conway: Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! (Falls off the horse) Ah!
Lt. Surge: That was a nice try son! You actually stayed on the horse for more than three seconds which is better than Kenny over there. (Shouting) You boys are pathetic! If you get the opportunity to do this, you take advantage of it. You do whatever you can to cease the day! All I have are weak, pathetic… (A throat clears) Huh?
Knight: Excuse me. I want to give it a shot!
Lt. Surge: Well that’s the kind of spirit I’m talking. Hey wait, who are you? (He gets on the horse and charges) What the hell? (Knocks the dummy off) Whoa! Son, I don’t care who the hell you are! I think you might have a chance to win this thing. The rest of you wussy babies can learn a thing or two from…
Knight: Just call me the Phantom Knight! (Trumpets playing)
Oak: Attention one and all! The jousting competition shall begin in one hour. But just so ye know what ye be fighting for, I present to you…The princess of the fair, Princess Dawn!
All: Dawn?
Knight: Hmph.
Max: Did the weirdo in the dress just say Dawn was the princess?
Forrest: You heard right. And I say it’s just no fair! Dawn is a lesbian and all of us men here are into “straight” chicks! (Conway sighs) Well this is a complete waste of time!
Riley: Why couldn’t it have been Laura?
Max: Or Roxanne?
Forrest: Let’s get out of here, men. Conway, are you coming?
Conway: No, I’m going to practice a little more.
Forrest: What? Come on, man! You heard Oak and he said that Dawn is the princess. No sense in killing ourselves over a kiss from a lesbian. Why on earth would you want to stay?
Conway: Because I do. Now leave me alone! (Puts on a helmet) I’ve got some practice to do!
Forrest: Come on men.
Lt. Surge: (Clears throat) Where do you think you boys are going?
Forrest: Uh…
Lt. Surge: Shut up boy, I was testing you. You all signed a waver and that means you are going to do the jousting or all of you are getting detention for failure to participate. Now get back to practicing. The competition is in an hour.
Max: Hey if this is a Renaissance Fair, why isn’t the coach speaking like everyone else at the fair.
Riley: Simple really. Coach is a simpleton! He spent the last two weeks learning the language from Miss Prima, but it didn’t go so well. I overheard Miss Prima saying he was "unteachable". So Oak made a special arrangement for Lt. Surge to speak the way he's most comfortable with. (A little later in the stands)
Kelly: What the heck is that?
Tracey: Mutton! Do you want some?
Marisa: No thanks.
Kelly: What is mutton? (Marcus walks up)
Marisa: Sheep skin! How can you eat that stuff?
Marcus: The same way you eat beef! If you cut that stuff out, you might be able to lose some more weight. (She hits him)
Tracey: Idiot!
Marisa: But you’re right. I’ve only lost 15 pounds so far.
Kelly: Wow, really? I’d say that’s one hell of an accomplishment!
Marisa: Most of it did come from the surgery. I’ve actually become a lot more active after having the reduction. And I intend to stay that way unless SOMEBODY doesn’t try to fatten me up with that sheep!
Tracey: Okay, calm down.
Kelly: So did you get a chance to peek inside the theatre?
Marcus: No. I even asked that weirdo Clevon Schpe…Ship…Shama-lama-ding-dong!
Marisa: Eh, close enough.
Marcus: I say they’re hiding something. Dead bodies possibly. I know it must be something much bigger than a water pipe bust. I’m going to get to the bottom of all this.
Marisa: You and your damned conspiracy theories.
Marcus: Well, while everybody is focused on the jousting competition, I will check out the action in the theatre. (Takes Tracey’s mutton) Mmm. This is delicious.
Tracey: Get your own, you mooch!
Caroline: Max, where are you?
Norman: Have you found him yet?
Caroline: No. He said he would meet us up in the stands thirty minutes ago. You don’t think he went behind my back to be in that stupid jousting competition, do you?
Norman: He couldn’t have.
Kelly: (Gasp) It’s Norman!
Marisa: Save the star-struck for another day. They have a family crisis right now. Besides, he already knows you and you know him.
Norman: Huh? Oh hey, it’s May’s young friends. (He walks up) It’s been a while. How are all of you doing?
All: Good.
Norman: Say, have any of you seen my son, Max? You see, his mother can be a bit of a worrywart and I just want him found to set her mind at ease.
Tracey: We haven’t seen him at all since we’ve been up here.
Caroline: Oh, I just knew he went to that jousting competition behind my back. He hasn’t even ridden a pony! How is he going to ride a horse? (Out on the field)
Max: (Screaming) Steady! I almost got it! (Hits the dummy)
Lt. Surge: Way to go, shortie! Next!
Forrest: Almost there! (Hits the dummy) Got it!
Lt. Surge: Good Forrest! Riley you’re up!
Conway: (Sighs) I can’t believe everyone was able to hit the dummy.
Knight: Something wrong?
Conway: I can’t do this. I don’t know why I thought I could actually win a jousting competition. Just so I can get a kiss from Dawn!
Knight: So…you like Dawn?
Conway: (Blushes) I guess you can say that. But I know she’s a lesbian and somehow her being forbidden makes her even more exciting to me. Is it wrong for me to have a crush on a lesbian when I know she'll never be into me?
Knight: I really can’t answer that. Mostly because it all seems complicated to me! (Up in the stands)
Kelly: That’s your third helping of mutton.
Tracey: You’re forgetting my helping that he ate.
Marcus: It’s very good.
Marisa: What I can’t understand is that if the school is on a tight budget, why throw this Renaissance Fair when they know it costs extra money to put it up.
Laura: It was rigged to look like this. See those tents over there; those are the same tents they use when they need to fumigate. The stand where the princess will be sitting on is one of the old diving boards that has been reconstructed. And all the costumes we’re wearing are hand-me-downs from the theatre department. At least these costumes weren’t ruined in the accident.
Marisa: Okay then, how were you all able to get mutton?
Laura: Wally’s uncle has a farm and that’s pretty self explanatory. As long as the other students don’t know what they’re really eating, they’ll be okay. So don’t tell anybody and keep your mouth shut!
Marisa: Don’t censor me!
Laura: His uncle was also able to loan us the horses for the jousting competition. (Gary walks up)
Gary: Laura!
Laura: (Gasp) Gary, you came! (She hugs him)
Gary: Not a problem.
Laura: I thought you weren’t going to show today. (Sniffing) Hmm…nice fragrance!
Gary: Oh sorry, Daisy put on a lot of perfume when I dropped her off at her job.
Marisa: Gary…
Gary: Hello Marisa. (She glares at him) Um, is there something wrong?
Marisa: Nothing at all. Just keeping you on your toes! (Gary sighs)
Laura: Gary, sit, sit! Enjoy! (Whispers to Marisa) Don’t you dare hurt him! (She walks away)
Marisa: (Scoffs) He’s not worth my time. Tracey you can let go of my hand!
Tracey: (Laughs) Not in this lifetime! (Marisa glares at him) Whoa, backing off!
Kelly: Hey guys, isn’t that the girl who actually likes Brock?
Marisa: Say what? Oh you’re right. It’s Brock’s girlfriend, Jasmine.
Marcus: Yo Jasmine!
Jasmine: Huh? (Turns around) Oh, I know you. You’re Brock’s friends.
Tracey: I assume you’re here with him.
Jasmine: Well as of now, we’re not really on speaking terms.
Tracey: Why is that?
Jasmine: Silly argument, really.
Marisa: Did you find out about Brock being a lecher?
Tracey: Marisa!
Kelly: Let me guess, he hit on an underage girl while you were with him?
Marcus: Kelly!
Jasmine: Something like that.
Marisa: Look Jasmine. I know how much Brock means to you, but I’m going to be very blunt on this. Brock is the true definition of a pervert. He has hit on all of the girls in our high school at least over 20 times and has had three restraining orders put on him. But…He has toned down his weird behavior after he met you. In fact, I’ve seen Brock around campus many times within the last few months. I have seen him pass by the hottest looking babe around and wouldn’t even give her a second glance.
Jasmine: Oh, you’re just saying that.
Kelly: She’s right Jasmine. Plus, men get a little stupid when they look at other girls.
Marisa: Take these boys for example. They act like…well, boys. They do stupid things, say the wrong things a lot of the time, and even stare at pretty girls.
Tracey: Now how can you say that?
Marcus: We’ve been nothing but faithful to you broads!
Marisa: Oh, I don’t even want to hear it from you two liars. I can’t tell you how many Jennifer Lopez sketches Tracey has underneath his bed.
Tracey: I knew it was you who went under my bed. I could tell because when I went under there the other day, I saw a torn up picture of Daisy.
Kelly: And Marcus, there were several times where we would make out and you would call me Faye, Ami, and Bulma.
Marcus: I should probably stop watching anime before our make out sessions.
Marisa: So you see Jasmine, boys will be boys. No matter how cliché the saying is, they’re still dumb-asses. But we can’t help that. Can’t change their stupid behavior! So just go with the flow. They don’t mean most of the crap they say anyways. (Marina walks by) Brock is going to be the way he is because I know that’s the way he was brought up.
Tracey: Case and point, his father!
Marina: Brock Harrison? Oh dear God! (Runs away) The pervert is back! (Screams)
Marisa: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, that girl right there is going to end up in an insane asylum because of Brock’s stupidity. (Brock walks up) Speak of the devil.
Brock: There you are. Oh guys, what are you doing here?
Marisa: I am everywhere and then some!
Brock: Yes you are. Jasmine, you have to trust me on this. There isn’t a single female on the earth that I wouldn’t want to be with besides you. I love you and only you! No other girl can take that away from you.
Marisa: (Whispering) Brock is king of B.S.! (Marcus elbows her)
Jasmine: (Sighs) Brock…I know you’re a pervert.
Brock: Huh?
Jasmine: But that’s okay. A lot of boys have perverted thoughts. I just have to face facts. Men will be the way they are and I can’t change that.
Brock: So…
Jasmine: I’m not mad at you anymore. (He hugs her)
Brock: Aw, I’m glad to hear that hon.
Jasmine: Well after Marisa and Kelly put things in perspective for me, I was all set.
Marisa: Happy to help!
Brock: That was nice. But I wouldn’t take anything that demon says! (Points to Marisa)
Marisa: Wonder how many teeth I can knock out today! Huh? (Marina runs back and hits Brock over the head with a book)
Marina: PERVERT! PERVERT! PERVERT!
Jasmine: What on earth?
Brock: Hi Marina.
Marina: PERVERT!
Jasmine: Who is she?
Marisa: It’s a long story. I promise you he never went out with her. (Back on the field)
Conway: Ha! I got it! (Gets off the horse)
Knight: Very good. Just remember that in the competition, the target will be moving.
Conway: That kiss is as good as mine! (Thinking) And then…I’ll tell her my true feelings.
Max: Uh-oh! I just realized my parents are going to recognize me when I’m competing. I will be so dead.
Forrest: That’s no problem! You’ll be wearing a helmet and all this extra gear. Your parents will not notice you.
Max: Yeah that’s great and all but keep in mind I’m a little on the short side. Mom and Dad will spot me out like that!
Forrest: Oh, that’s right. While the rest of us are at the sweet age of 15, you are still 12 and you still haven’t grown to your full size yet.
Max: If you’re done pointing out the obvious, what are you going to do to help me?
Forrest: Hmm…Can’t think of a thing!
Max: (Sarcastic) No kidding! (A little later up in the stands)
Marisa: Looks like things are about to start with the jousting competition.
Marcus: Yes…Looks like. Um, if you’ll excuse me…I’m just going to take a little stroll to the…
Marisa: Oh no you don’t! Sit your ass back down!
Marcus: But the coast could be clear by now. Besides I just want to take a quick peek inside, take one picture and I’m out.
Marisa: We’re not going to get kicked out today. Like when you got us kicked out of that night club.
Marcus: Hey, those fake I.D.’s we got were legit and the pictures looked like us. (Trumpets playing) Ooh, it’s starting!
Narrator: Oh yes, the jousting competition went along pretty well through the first few rounds. And best of all, no bad injuries! Max was able to take out Riley in the first round and luckily no one recognized him as he went under another name and had a helmet covering his head. Lucky for Conway, he ended up knocking out Forrest in the first round and advancing to the next round felt really good. As he won the first challenge, he looked up and saw Princess Dawn looking down at him smiling. Meanwhile, the Phantom Knight continued to do well in the preliminary rounds. So now we’re just going to skip ahead to the semi finals. Max versus Conway! Phantom Knight versus Kenny! This is more exciting than Dancing with the Stars! Oh and meanwhile back in front of the theatre…
Marisa: I can’t believe he’s going through with it.
Tracey: Well at least it’s only for a quick second.
Kelly: He’s going to take a picture for us. (The door opens) You’re back.
Marisa: So how did it go? (Marcus vomits) Ew! (She jumps and steps back)
Kelly: What the hell was that all about?
Marcus: It…It reeked in there! And it looked so depressing! The smell...it was so horrendous!
Tracey: Yeah, great. Thanks to your curiosity, I now have mutton chunks all over my shoes.
Kelly: Marisa, are you okay?
Marisa: Oh yes…Just dandy! (Starts running) I’ll be back up in the stands!
Tracey: She really hates the site of puke!
Kelly: No kidding! (Marcus groans)
Tracey: Shut up Marcus! (Down on the field)
Max: Great. I don’t think my parents caught on that it’s me down here. If I can keep this up, maybe they won’t get too suspicious.
Conway: I’m only two matches away from getting that kiss.
Kenny: What’s the big deal about kissing Dee-Dee? She’s nothing special.
Conway: You take that back! Dawn is…Oh never mind. You just wouldn’t understand.
Kenny: Understand what? I’ve known the girl since she was in pampers. (In the stands)
Marisa: Ugh. I need that image out of my mind.
Brock: What image?
Marisa: Ugh. Do you want me to lose my lunch too? (Sighs) I wonder when the next match up is going to start. Huh? (On the field, Max falls down and his helmet comes off)
Brock: Hey, isn’t that Max on the field?
Marisa: (Squints) It does look like him.
Caroline: MAX! (Gasp) It is him! (Shouting) MAX GET OFF THE FIELD THIS INSTANT! (She runs down the stairs)
Lt. Surge: Take your places men. It’s time for the semis!
Conway: (Thinking) This is for you Dawn!
Max: Just breathe in and out. Just aim for the ribs!
Lt. Surge: AND GO!
Caroline: I can’t watch! (Conway knocks Max off the horse) Ah! Max!
Norman: Caroline! (She runs to the field)
Max: Oh man. Well at least I made it this far!
Conway: Max, are you okay?
Max: I’ll live!
Caroline: MAX!
Max: Oh man, but not for long.
Caroline: Oh Max, are you okay? Are there any injuries? You did this to my son! How could you do such a thing to a twelve year old? You monster!
Conway: Um…I’m sorry ma’am!
Max: Mom, relax I’m fine. No harm done!
Caroline: Max, I told you not to go through with this jousting competition. I told you that you would get hurt.
Max: I’m sorry Mom.
Caroline: But, I will admit you were pretty good on that horse.
Max: You think so?
Caroline: Very much. I guess I have been a wee bit overprotective of you. I really should give you a little more independence. (They hug) And you can start that independence in two weeks because you are going to be grounded for that long. (A little later in the competition)
Oak: We be at the finale of the jousting competition.
Marisa: These people cannot get their language right. It’s too hard to listen to this crap without wanting to stab your ears.
Brock: You complain too much.
Marisa: Boy, shut the hell up or I’ll call Marina up here.
Brock: No, no, no! Not necessary!
Oak: Who will get the kiss from Princess Dawn? (Tracey sits down)
Tracey: Mind if I kill your brother from another mother?
Marisa: Go right ahead. (Trumpets playing)
Conway: This is it. This is for you Dawn.
Knight: I should just let him have this one opportunity. On the other hand, I want to prove that.... (The high seat starts to crack) What the hell? (Gasp) The big seat is about to crack and fall apart! Dawn will fall to her death! (Gets on the horse) Let’s go! (She rides)
Lt. Surge: HEY, THE COMPETITION HASN’T BEGUN! (The seat falls apart and Dawn falls)
Brianna: Oh no, Dawn! (Dawn screaming)
Knight: I’ve got you! (She lands on the horse)
Dawn: You saved me! (Cheering from the audience)
Brianna: Oh thank you God for this!
Morrison: Hey, there’s no praying to God here!
Brianna: Oh go choke on some mutton and die!
Morrison: ON WITH THE JOUSTING!
Dawn: Wait! Please let me award this brave knight with the kiss. For he is the true victor for saving my life!
Morrison: I’ll allow it! (The Knight kneels down) Young sir, you may receive the kiss from Princess Dawn. (Conway sighs)
Dawn: But before I do that, please remove your helmet so that I may see my savior.
Knight: (Sighs) It would be my pleasure. (Takes off the helmet)
Dawn: Zoey?! (All gasp) You were my…knight in shining armor.
Zoey: Guilty as charged. (Nearby)
Clevon: Oh my God! This is just so brilliant! A young lady’s love turns out to be another young lady. Oh, it’s like a play coming right out of a college student’s mind. (Dawn kisses Zoey on the forehead)
Zoey: (Whispering) I want to talk to you in private.
Dawn: (Whispering) Take me on your horse and we’ll go somewhere to talk in private.
Zoey: Gotcha. (Puts the helmet on) Come my lady. (They ride off) Farewell!
Conway: (Sighs) Damn it all. (Away from the fair)
Zoey: Is this far enough?
Dawn: I think so. (They get off the horse) First, let me thank you again for saving my life.
Zoey: You’re welcome.
Dawn: So…What did you want to talk to me about?
Zoey: Look Dawn…I want to call a truce. I mean last year, we were the best of friends and for several months, a couple. But then you betrayed my trust, getting me to take the fall for you numerous times and I just couldn’t deal with it any longer.
Dawn: And I feel guilty by what I’ve done in the past! (Sighs) Zoey, why did you compete?
Zoey: At first, it was to defend Marley’s honor. To show that a female could do anything that a man could! But when I learned that you were the princess, all of my old feelings for you…it resurfaced. But…during the kiss, I came to the realization that what we had was something that was in the past.
Dawn: Zoey, I don’t want to come in between you and Marley. I want you to be happy and if being with Marley is making you happy, then I wish nothing but the best for you both.
Zoey: Do you really mean that? (She nods) Dawn, I would really love it if we could be friends again.
Dawn: Really? I'm so happy we'll be friends again! (They shake hands)
Zoey: Glad we’re friends again. (Dawn sighs) Something wrong?
Dawn: It’s weird. I’ve been going through this in my mind for the last few months and maybe you can help me out with this Zoey.
Zoey: What is it?
Dawn: I have been at a complete stand still all my life when it came to men. I met you last year and I thought my destiny is to be with a female. But somehow, everything changed this year. I’ve somehow got this one boy on my mind and I don’t know what to do. I’ve never felt like this with a boy before.
Zoey: A boy? Hmm…All I can tell you is that the heart wants what it wants. But maybe it’s your fate or destiny to be with someone else. You’re unsure of what you really want and that’s why you’re having all of these weird feelings. But, there’s no shame in experimenting, as long as it's a safe experiment of course.
Conway: Dawn.
Dawn: (Gasp) Conway.
Zoey: Huh? Hmm…I see now. I’ll leave you two alone. (She gets on the horse and rides away)
Conway: I just came to check to make sure you were okay. Almost dying today must have taken a lot out of you.
Dawn: I’ll say. (She sits on the grass) Sit with me. (He blushes)
Conway: I’m glad that you’re okay.
Dawn: It makes me happy that you care.
Conway: What were you and Zoey talking about?
Dawn: Oh that…It was just to take care of some unfinished business. You know the story by now. Zoey and I were a couple at one point…but both of us have moved on. Zoey’s with Marley now and I’m…finding myself in a difficult crossroad.
Conway: How so?
Dawn: I’ve found myself…oh... (Blushes) I can’t even say it.
Conway: Dawn…I love you. (She gasps) I’m sorry. It’s just that, you’re the prettiest girl in school, and the most energetic, talented, and the list goes on and on. But I just wanted to let you know that.
Dawn: Oh Conway. (She kisses him)
Conway: Okay, now I’m confused.
Dawn: I know the feeling. But that’s what I was talking about with this difficult decision. I started to develop feelings for a boy…and that boy was you. (He blushes) You are the first boy I’ve ever had any kind of feeling for.
Conway: Oh Dawn. (They kiss on the lips)
Dawn: (Thinking) I guess this is my destiny. (A little later in the dressing room)
Brianna: YOU DID WHAT?!
Dawn: I’m going out with Conway.
Brianna: When did this happen? I thought that after that kiss with Zoey, you two would be back together.
Dawn: Zoey’s with Marley now and I can respect that. I’ve made my peace with that. But now we’re back to being friends again.
Brianna: So…does this make you a bisexual?
Dawn: I guess so. I don’t want to call it that because I’m just…curious and confused at the same time.
Brianna: A deadly combination. So, you’re dating the pervert! Well it could be worse. You could be dating Forrest.
Dawn: Oh God, that’s a fate worse than death. (In another room)
Forrest: Dude! You broke through and turned a lesbian into a straight chick.
Riley: I have to give you props for that one.
Conway: Hey cut it out you guys.
Riley: Seriously dude, I’m glad you’re with Dawn.
Conway: Me and Dawn…It’s like a dream come true.
~*Preview*~
Tracey: So I am told…No sex until marriage. But sometimes the rules can be bent, right? I mean just look at May and Drew…Okay, bad example. In the next episode, Marisa and I make an important decision in our whole relationship. Do we go all the way? Next time on Romance 102, Chapter Twelve…See you next time!
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