Embedded Files
~New Character Introduced~
Solana
Original Date of Post: 03/22/2009
Narrator: In life, we have a wonderful variety of radio stations. But as you know around here, if you want to listen to any song on the radio during the morning commercial and talk-free, you’d have to pay a butt-load of money for Satellite or XM just to hear actual music. What a pain in the ass that is! But there are some people who enjoy the talk on the radio.
Volkner: So Miley Cyrus is in the news yet again.
Palmer: Sources say that she’s about to join a religion. She’s going to be a Hare Krishna.
Volkner: You mean she’s going to be chanting and singing and handing out pamphlets at the airport?
Palmer: I don’t mind the pamphlets that much, but if she starts singing while handing out the pamphlets, then we have a problem.
Volkner: I know what you’re talking about. Okay folks, time for some music…Right after a few commercials from our sponsors. Hey, we have to make a living somehow people. (At Brock’s house)
Brock: Ugh, none of the stations are playing music. It’s always yak, yak, yak all day long!
Flint: The oldies station always plays music, turn it there. (Turns the dial) Oh yeah, I love this song. You know, when I was in high school, they said I was smooth like Luther Vandross.
Brock: Great to know Dad. Now come on. Mom wanted us to clean out this attic. When was the last time we even touched this stuff?
Flint: I don’t know. (Blows dust) Wow, a KC and the Sunshine Band lunchbox! I’ve always wondered where I put this. I can take my lunch in this when I go to work on Monday. The guys at the office are gonna flip. (Lola walks up)
Lola: You boys better be throwing away stuff, otherwise the attic will never get clean.
Flint: Killjoy!
Lola: Here’s some lemonade. After you drink up, I want you boys to get back to work. (She walks down the stairs)
Brock: Man, what a waste of a Saturday. I really wanted to see that one girl, Suzy.
Flint: Suzy? You mean that girl who saved your life during Christmas?
Brock: That’s her!
Flint: How’s that going for you?
Brock: Terrible! She completely shuts me out every time I come and see her.
Flint: Yeah, your mother was the same way. But ladies can’t resist the old Harrison gene. Or is it that they can’t stand the Harrison gene?
Brock: Problem is she wants nothing to do with me. After she saved my life, all I can really think about is Suzy. There’s something about her that’s so damn irresistible. Hey, are you even listening to me?
Flint: Oh my God! I can’t believe I still have this. Brock, come here.
Brock: What the hell is that?
Flint: A transistor radio!
Brock: You actually had one of these?
Flint: Back in college I used to supply the whole campus with the sounds of great music, political jabber, and witty banter.
Brock: Sounds great. Huh? Mind if I fiddle around with this thing?
Flint: Be my guest. If it still works, it’s all yours. (That night at the dorms)
Harley: A transistor radio?
Brock: Yeah. The only problem is that I need to fix this thing up so it’ll run like new again. I guess it’s a good thing Dad kept the instructions to this old thing.
Ash: Brock, is this legal? You realize that if it isn’t I’m going to have to…um… (Flips through booklet) …Write you up a citation!
Brock: Relax. My dad said it was perfectly legal.
Ash: Okay. When you figure it out, call me back. (Yawns) Except, don’t call me tomorrow. I have some more intense training ahead of me. That Joel is a slave-driver!
Brock: See you later Ash. (He leaves)
Harley: When you get this thing all set up, could you devote an hour to show tunes? There are no stations here that play show tunes.
Brock: (Sighs) Fine. After all, it is our own station. (The next evening at the police station)
Ash: (Panting) I think I’m getting the hang at this.
Lunick: (Sarcastic) Yeah, just like you get used to being bitten by a poisonous snake.
Joel: Good work today, boys. Now then, we’re going to start working as groups. Each of you will be in a group.
Ash: Hey I don’t mind that.
Lunick: Hey maybe this’ll be my lucky shot. There are some girls trying out for the force.
Ash: Oh, don’t get your hopes up.
Spenser: Okay, Ash and Lunick, you two will be together on a team.
Ash: Cool.
Spenser: And you boys just need one more member. Ah, perfect! Solana!
Both: Solana?
Solana: Hi boys. I guess we’re going to be teammates.
Lunick: (Thinking) Jackpot! She’s got to be one of the cutest girls ever and she’s on my team. (A little later)
Ash: Well, I’m beat!
Lunick: (Thinking) This is your chance Lunick. Don’t spaz out!
Solana: So Ash, do you like movies?
Ash: Well sure, I like movies.
Solana: Oh, I know what you might like. There’s this new Will Farrell movie out and I heard it’s the funniest.
Ash: I haven’t seen that yet.
Solana: Call me sometime and we can always go. (The door opens)
Ash: Brock?
Brock: Ash, I did it! I did it! It’s fixed and we may begin the…Huh? Hello darling, my name is Brock. What is your name?
Solana: I’m…Solana.
Brock: Solana, what a unique name for a beautiful woman! If you’re interested, we can go to the movies together. I know this great Will Farrell movie that’s out.
Solana: I think I’ll pass. I’m not a big fan of Will Farrell.
Ash: What are you talking about? A few seconds ago you were up for the idea. (Elita walks out)
Elita: What’s all the commotion out here?
Brock: Huh? Hello beautiful, my name is Brock. Would you care to go on a date with me?
Elita: Huh?
Solana: Well, that was fast!
Brock: Perhaps we can catch a dinner and a movie. (Ash grabs him)
Ash: You have to forgive my friend; his father dropped him on his head when he was a baby. Brock, let’s leave before you end up behind bars for sexual harassment. I’ll see you guys tomorrow. (A little later at the dorms)
Brock: Okay, let us do a test run. (Let’s Get It Started by the Black Eyed Peas starts playing) Now, Harley should call me at any time to see if he can pick up the signal.
Ash: Wow, you actually got this thing to work. (Phone rings)
Brock: Hello.
Harley: We’ve got contact!
Brock: And we are on live ladies and gentlemen! This is the owner Brock of Love! I’ll be here tonight, tomorrow, and everyday bringing you non-stop music. Commercial-free, and yak-free! So let’s get this party started!
Narrator: Seeing as so many college students have their computer files and Ipod’s, a lot of them wouldn’t really listen to the radio. Although, if you’re a big-fat cheapskate, you might be forced to listen to nothing but the radio! Oh, here comes one now!
Marisa: Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve heard that song…And on the radio no less. I wonder if it’s a new station.
Brock: And that was Queen’s, Bicycle Race. Speaking of bicycles, it is a wonderful day to go out biking. Remember, this is Brock of Love giving you the music you love so much.
Marisa: No way. (Dials phone)
Marcus: Yo!
Marisa: Get to a radio fast and turn it to…88.3FM. You’ll never guess who has his own radio show!
Marcus: Is it Jerry Springer?
Marisa: Just turn it!
Brock: More music coming up. I’ve got Nightwish, Kelly Clarkson, and Mary J. Blige up next. And to all of you beautiful women out there, my email address is brockoflove@yahoo.com if you have any kind of requests. Music or otherwise!
Marcus: Holy crap! (A little later at the dorms)
Harley: (Sighs) That was a great workout. Brock, have you even gone to class today?
Brock: Unbelievable! I’ve been on the air for 16 hours straight and there hasn’t been a single email.
Harley: You probably sound like a needy pervert. Plus, it’s only been 16 hours, you can’t expect an audience of great magnitude that fast. (Knock on the door) I’ll get it. (Door opens)
Marisa: Okay, why were you on the radio today?
Marcus: Are you hiding something from us?
Brock: For your information, I have my own radio station!
Marisa: THAT’S A PIRATE RADIO! Brock, last checked those things are very illegal. I truly can’t stand by and let this crap go on. However, you actually have a radio station that actually plays music and I applaud you for that. BUT IT’S STILL WRONG!
Brock: Can’t you be cool for once?
Marcus: I’m with Brock on this one. Hey! Maybe you can have an hour-long radio show that’s devoted to politics and news.
Brock: You can’t be serious! I put up this radio station so it didn't have politics or talk.
Marcus: One hour will not hurt your station. (Grabs the microphone) Watch and learn! Okay all of you out there! We are the voice of truth, understanding, and crackpot theories. This is M n’ M coming to you live over the radio!
Marisa: Who’s this other “M” he’s referring to?
Brock: I think he means you.
Marcus: You folks can call me Male-M and next to me is my bud and the voice of reason, Lady-M.
Marisa: Hello all. This is…Lady-M saying I’m going to kill Male-M.
Marcus: Yeah, you can do so as you wish. But first things first, a discussion.
Marisa: Say what?
Marcus: Well last night on the news, there’s talk of the city raising the tax on both cigarettes and alcohol.
Marisa: I am absolutely for it!
Marcus: Typical. Come on. In this great country, people are free to do whatever they feel to their body, whether it damages their lungs with smoking, or damages their liver with drinking. Who are we to raise the tax on cigarettes and alcohol?
Marisa: I know it might not make so much of a dent, but if the taxes rise, maybe this’ll get people to try and stop smoking. As for alcohol, they need to be raised. Maybe when that happens people will stop drinking as much and there won’t be that many drunk driving fatalities.
Marcus: Good point. But wouldn’t you agree that with the raise in the cigarette and alcohol tax, there could be a raise in crimes like robbery. More bank heists if you ask me.
Marisa: Worst case scenario, maybe.
Marcus: But it could happen! Just like aliens will come to our earth if we elect anymore Texans into the White House!
Marisa: Aliens will not invade if we elect another yahoo. Although, I can name several other circumstances that could happen if that happens. I mean LBJ got us into Vietnam and Bush got us into Iraq. What’s next on the list?
Marcus: …Mexico?
Brock: They could go on for hours. (Groans) This is a nightmare.
Harley: Not necessarily. Take a look at your email file!
Brock: Whoa! (Clicks on file) “M n’ M are the funniest thing since Robin Williams.” I might be onto something. Everybody loves comedy and the two of them are comedy gold.
Harley: It could happen.
Brock: This is going to be awesome and…Hey, why were you answering my emails? (A little later at the campus radio station)
Todd: Not that many listeners today. (Jack giggles) Oh man! If Rhonda finds out about these horrible ratings, she’ll take off somebody’s head. (Jack laughs) What on earth are you listening to?
Jack: Oh…It’s nothing! It’s nothing.
Todd: Give me those! (Puts on headphones)
Marisa: I don’t care how many times you say Candyman, he still won’t come.
Marcus: I’ve seen it happen!
Marisa: Are you sure this wasn’t the dream that made you pee your pants?
Todd: Oh my God! (Takes off headphones) What the hell are Marisa and Marcus doing on the radio? 88.3? I’ve never heard that station before. (The door opens)
Rhonda: Boys, let’s go. We need to pay someone a visit. (A little later back at the dorms)
Marisa: Oh man, I wish we could go on a little longer…
Marcus: And you know we can do that!
Marisa: No we can’t. Our boss is giving us the rap-up sign. So until next time, this is Lady-M…
Marcus: And Male-M signing off! Love, peace and chicken-grease, dudes! (Goes to music)
Brock: Nice you guys.
Marcus: Sorry if we went a little off topic.
Marisa: A little off topic? Since when did we go from local issues to women on the Playboy magazines?
Brock: No, it’s fine. I was actually wondering if you and Marcus would be willing to do this daily.
Marisa: No can do. Marcus has rehearsals and I have class…and so do you.
Marcus: We have free time around 5pm. My rehearsals don’t start until 7pm so I could always do something on the side.
Marisa: Why the sudden change of heart?
Brock: The emails mostly. Look at this!
Marisa: Move over. (Shoves Brock) Oh, I like this email message. “Bring more Lady-M! She sounds dead-sexy.” Oh, how sweet! Tracey would totally flatten this guy, but I’m flattered. (Knock on the door)
Brock: Who could that be?
Marisa: It’s the FCC! I’m out of here. (Goes to the window)
Marcus: Right behind you. (Door opens)
Rhonda: Hello everyone.
Marisa: I know that voice. (Turns around) Oh great, who let Skankerella in?
Rhonda: We meet again.
Todd: Afternoon!
Jack: Boobies! (Runs to Marisa) What the?
Marisa: That’s right! Reduction! Back off, creepy! (Jack sighs) What the hell do you three rats want?
Rhonda: I want in on your little pirate-radio deal.
Brock: Will everyone please stop calling it that? And how did you find out my location?
Todd: Simple. Jack and I were listening. When I heard your voice, I knew it was you. And since the radio station didn't look familiar at all, chances are you were doing an illegal broadcast either at your home or in your dorm room.
Marisa: Brock, do not trust her. Remember, she’s the corrupt tramp that…
Rhonda: (Laughs) Oh, that was in the past. I’ve turned over a new leaf! I’ve been in the radio business for a while now and with my help and expertise, we can make your station the best.
Marisa: It shouldn’t even be up! It’s illegal broadcasting.
Rhonda: Well Miss Preachy, why were you on the radio? (Marisa growls) Stick with me and I can make this work.
Marisa: Why do you want to help my friend? How do we know we can trust you?
Rhonda: Is it a crime to invest in entrepreneurs like Dock here?
Brock: The name is Brock!
Rhonda: Whatever!
Brock: I’ll take you up on the offer, Rhonda.
Marisa: (Sighs) Fine Brock. Be a sellout!
Marcus: At least she didn’t set fire to her hair.
Marisa: GET OUT OF MY WAY! (Shoves Todd against a wall)
Todd: What’d you do that for?
Marcus: You had it coming, you scumbag! (Later that night)
Brock: And now, we’re going to slow things down with some slow-jams. Just for you ladies. Now you all know that I have nothing but love for the ladies…
Narrator: Pervert.
Brock: (Clears throat) As I was saying, I love all females. But, there is one girl out there that has caught Brock of Love’s heart. This song is dedicated to a very special girl. I hope you can hear this. (At the vet)
Suzy: Hmm…He sounds so familiar.
Brock: I hope she’s listening. (Always and Forever by Heatwave plays) This is for you Suzy. This is Brock of Love broadcasting live…
Suzy: It is him. (Blushes) …And that’s my favorite song… (Picks up the phone and dials)
Brock: Man the station Harley. I have to take a leak. (He leaves)
Harley: Okay, enough of this crap! Time for some West Side Story! (Singing) I feel pretty, oh so pretty… (Phone rings) Hello!
Suzy: Is Brock there?
Harley: Um, he’s busy at the moment. Can I take a message?
Suzy: It’s okay. But I was wondering if you could give me his address. I would like to talk to him face to face. (A minute later outside the room)
Brock: Back to work. Huh? Always and Forever is a long song…Why don’t I hear it anymore? Uh-oh! (Opens the door) CAUGHT YOU!
Harley: What? I just wanted to listen to some show tunes.
Brock: You are hereby banned from the controls. Now go to bed! Sorry about that folks, minor technical difficulties. (The next morning)
Harley: (Yawns) Time for class. Huh? The big dope fell asleep on the air. At least his music playlist is long. (Knock on the door) Who can that be? (Opens the door) Hello?
Suzy: Oh, I’m sorry. I must have the wrong room. I’m looking for a boy named Brock Harrison.
Harley: Oh you’ve got the right room, hon. I’m Harley, his roommate.
Suzy: Oh, you’re the one who I talked to over the phone.
Harley: Yeah…you’re not a cop, are you?
Suzy: No.
Harley: Wearing a wire?
Suzy: No.
Harley: Wow, you’re really here for him. Brock, wake up! You’ve got a visitor.
Brock: (Groans) Tell him I’m busy.
Harley: It’s a female!
Brock: Huh? (Leaps out of bed) Hello there, I’m Bro…Suzy? What are you doing here?
Suzy: …I heard you over the radio last night. (Slaps him in the face) You really are a stalker! How else could you have known my favorite love song?
Brock: Lucky guess?
Suzy: Lucky guess my foot! You’ve been stalking me! I know it was you who has been watching me while I’m at work. I know you’re the one leaving me love notes on my car windows with your phone number on it.
Brock: Is this the intro before you slap me with a restraining order?
Suzy: (Sighs) No...I don't have a restraining order. As much as I hate to admit it, there is something about you that is hard to resist.
Brock: Huh? Does this mean you’ll give me a chance?
Suzy: As long as you cut out the stalking! Otherwise, I will report you to the police.
Brock: Deal.
Suzy: (Sighs) I can’t resist a guy who dedicates my favorite song over the radio for me.
Brock: Like I said, that was a lucky guess.
Suzy: Here, this is my phone number. Maybe you can call me sometime. It would only seem fair if you have my number since you gave me yours.
Harley: I’m going back to bed. If I see Brock getting lucky, that’s a sure sign that I’m not getting that much sleep.
Brock: Maybe you can call me sometime.
Suzy: Sure.
Brock: Suzy…you look so…
Rhonda: Morning Brock!
Brock: What the hell are you doing here?
Rhonda: You need to prepare for your station. You can play footsie with your little toy later.
Suzy: Little toy, huh? I see how this is. (She walks away)
Brock: Wait…Suzy…
Rhonda: Now then, I have some ideas, just to tweak what you’ve got so far.
Brock: No way! I wanted this station to play the music only.
Rhonda: And another thing, that “Show Tune Variety Hour” has got to go!
Harley: Hey! (Later)
Marisa: I’m here.
Marcus: So am I! Now let’s get this show done and over with.
Marisa: Huh? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE?!
Harley: Miss Thang and Brock have hooked up. Not literally, just in terms of the station.
Brock: Oh, you’re here already?
Marisa: Well we had an agreement yesterday that Marcus and I would be doing a show around this time. Does any of that ring a bell?
Rhonda: Yeah, the show ended up on the chopping-block.
Marisa: Pardon me?
Rhonda: It just didn’t reach it’s potential and so it was put up on the chopping-block.
Marisa: I’d like to put you up on the chopping-block.
Rhonda: Oh, you’re cute. (Snaps fingers) Jack, show our visitors out the door. (Jack pushes them out the door)
Marisa: I’m calling the cops on them!
Marcus: No little buddy! You don’t want to throw Brock behind bars, do you?
Marisa: You’re right. Maybe we can set fire to her car.
Marcus: Then we’d end up in jail for arson. You see, this is the kind of thing the radio needs, two messed-up kids like us.
Marisa: I don’t think the world is ready for the new Daria…and Butt-head.
Marcus: You’re right…HEY!
Narrator: So, without Marisa and Marcus on the radio, Brock and Rhonda were able to draw in a massive crowd. That’s pretty impressive considering everybody has ipods and satellite radio they could listen to. However, not everyone was too happy about this new station.
Volkner: (Sighs) I wish I was dead. Hey, why the hell were you not at the meeting?
Palmer: There was a meeting?
Volkner: Never mind, you’re hopeless.
Palmer: So, what’d I miss?
Volkner: I just got yelled at by the big boss about our ratings. Saying we’re too insulting and only appeal to high school dropouts who can barely read! No offence Palmer!
Palmer: None taken.
Volkner: He said other radio stations are getting better ratings than us and we’re stuck at the bottom. For Christ sake, we’re behind the religious station!
Palmer: Hey, they added Hagar the Horrible back to the comics.
Volkner: Geez Louise! (Grabs the paper and hits him over the head) Pay attention, Numb-nuts! You better come up with some ideas for our show to get better ratings, or you’re going to lose your job, fall back to your old habits, end up back in the slammer, and be butt-fucked by some big dude named Sally.
Palmer: Well aren’t you being over-dramatic? Besides, it’s quitting time!
Volkner: (Sighs) Fine, get out of here! (He leaves)
Palmer: Geez, what a prick. (Goes to his car) I wonder what’s got him so worried. For years all of the ratings for every station have primarily stayed the same. What could have changed? (Turns on car radio) Hmm… (Flips through dials) No, nah, nope! (Click, Click Boom by Saliva plays) Alright, now that’s what I’m talking about! Hey wait, that’s not from our station!
Brock: And that was Click, Click Boom! You are listening to the all rock montage here on 88.3…
Palmer: I’ve never heard of this station before. I always thought that every station before 92.3 was nothing but talk and religion.
Brock: Hey and this just in, I got word that Disturbed, Tool, Korn, and Slipknot are coming to town for a big-ass rock concert.
Palmer: Impossible!
Brock: It is not impossible. I heard from very reliable source that they will be coming in a couple of months and that tickets shall go on sale two weeks from Saturday.
Palmer: (Slams on the brakes) Maybe Volkner knows. (Dials phone)
Volkner: What’s up?
Palmer: Dude, is it true that Disturbed, Tool, Korn, and Slipknot are coming to town in a couple of months?
Volkner: What the hell? I didn’t hear anything about that. We’ve got to get the word out!
Palmer: Too late. Another station beat us to the punch.
Volkner: But whom? We’re the only rock station in town.
Palmer: Check out 88.3 and you’ll see what I mean.
Volkner: 88.3? That’s odd, there’s never been an 88.3… (A little later at the police station)
Lunick: (Thinking) She’s a goddess…So beautiful!
Solana: Huh? (Grabs a water bottle) Here, you look a little parched.
Lunick: Huh? Oh, thank you Solana. (Thinking) Okay, time to make some sort of nice conversation. Just do yourself a favor and don’t blather on like an idiot. (Aloud) So, why did you decide to become a cop?
Solana: I guess it’s because it runs in the family. My Grandfather was a policeman when he was alive and my mother is one as well.
Lunick: Wow. Is she on this force here?
Solana: No. She’s in another state. I moved here on my own several months ago.
Lunick: Must be hard. I mean moving to a new state, all by yourself. I’ve been here my whole life and this is sort of a lifelong dream of mine to become a cop. (Ash walks up)
Ash: Hi guys.
Solana: Oh Ash. You look a little parched too. Do you want me to give you a water bottle?
Ash: Oh, you didn’t have to do that. I already have one.
Lunick: (Thinking) Damn that Ash. Doesn’t he already have a girlfriend? Wait a sec! I can always wait this off! Once Ash lets Solana down about him already having a girlfriend, I can swoop on in and grab Solana for myself. I will be lonely no more!
Solana: Ash, do you want to get something to eat?
Ash: No thanks. Mom has dinner waiting and I can’t say no to that.
Lunick: Don’t forget, you’re giving me a ride home.
Ash: Yeah. Maybe next time Solana.
Solana: Right. (In Ash's car)
Ash: Tomorrow, you’re riding the bus.
Lunick: Yeah, whatever.
Ash: If I’m late to dinner, I’ll never forgive you.
Lunick: I could stay for dinner. It has been a while since I’ve had a home-cooked meal.
Ash: Then go to your family. They live on the other side of town, so it’s not too inconvenient.
Lunick: Hey, looks like Solana is having a fight with her car. (They drive over)
Solana: Damn it! (Horn honking)
Lunick: Car problems?
Solana: It’s dead! Piece of crap!
Lunick: That’s no problem. Ash can take you home.
Ash: I can what?
Solana: You’d do that?
Lunick: He’d be happy to. We wouldn’t want you to walk home in a dark neighborhood like this.
Solana: Thanks Ash. (Car starts)
Ash: Oh, I have to listen to Brock. (Turns on the radio)
Brock: Now I wouldn’t compare Miley Cyrus to Lindsay Lohan.
Marcus: But think of it if it were set in a wet t-shirt contest.
Tracey: It would be Lohan, hands-down!
Marcus: But you can’t count out Cyrus yet. She isn’t fully developed yet and the same thing can happen where she wakes up with a huge rack. Have you seen her mother?
Lunick: Ooh, this is enlightening!
Solana: This is disgusting.
Lunick: I couldn’t agree more. (Flips the radio dial)
Ash: What are you doing touching my dials?
Lunick: Changing it to something more appropriate. There we go.
Man: And in Jesus name we say AMEN! (Back at the dorms)
Marisa: Two-timing rats! (Humming) …I dug my key into the side of his…What are you doing Harley?
Harley: Rhonda kicked me out of the room. It’s part my room too! I don’t trust her!
Marisa: That makes two of us. I told Brock at the beginning not to trust her.
Harley: What are you doing with that baseball bat?
Marisa: You’ll find out soon enough. (The door opens)
Marcus: Great show.
Tracey: Yeah, thanks for telling me. (Marisa clears her throat) Huh?
Marcus: I know I promised I wasn’t going to come back.
Marisa: (Giggles) Oh, you boys.
Marcus: Why are you smiling like that?
Marisa: I wanted to congratulate you on a job well-done on a good show.
Marcus: Oh really? Well little buddy, I’m quite surprised that you’re being so understanding about the situation. (She pulls out the baseball bat) Uh…Do you think we should start running? Tracey? (Tracey runs down the hallway) I don’t suppose you’re going to give me a five second head-start.
Marisa: One…YOU DIE! (They run down the hallway) I’ll get you! Come back here! (The next day over the phone)
Brock: What do you mean you won’t do the show today?
Marcus: Do you really want to know?
Brock: Yes, I demand an explanation from you. Rhonda told me when the three of us got into deep conversation, it hit men listeners of all ages.
Marcus: Wow, that’s an impressive amount. But I’d rather not, for I fear my own safety. Same goes for Tracey!
Brock: Excuse me? Oh…Let me guess, Marisa?
Marcus: My head hurts.
Brock: Can’t say that I’m not disappointed. We’ll just have to improvise, that’s all! If she changes her mind, be sure and let me know. (Hangs up) I have a better chance of winning the lottery than for her to change her mind. Rhonda, we have a problem. Marcus and Tracey can’t do the show…ever again.
Rhonda: Oh, that’s quite alright. You can do that with Todd and Jack. Those other two weren’t that great, but my boys are perfect.
Brock: I guess it couldn’t hurt. (A little later at the police station)
Joel: You boys were right to be suspicious. This is an illegal broadcast that’s going on. I will get to the bottom of this.
Volkner: Thank you.
Joel: Palmer, you better be staying out of trouble.
Palmer: Don’t worry man, I’m all good. (The door opens)
Ash: Good morning.
Lunick: Whoa! DJ Volkner and Palmer are actually here! Did we win some sort of contest?
Joel: Actually boys, there’s an illegal broadcast going on in our town. Someone trying to do this illegal act with a transistor radio!
Ash: Really? (Thinking) Oh crap, it was illegal. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Joel: But…this job is way beyond my line of work. That’s why I called in the FCC to put a stop to this broadcasting. (Later that day)
Brock: GET OUT! I am not working with these guys. Jack is a stiff and Todd never talks about anything relevant. They are hacks!
Todd: How dare you call me a hack! You’ve messed with the wrong guy! (Jack and Todd leave)
Rhonda: They were doing a great job. Why did you get rid of them?
Brock: I knew I shouldn’t have listened to you. I’m going to play music and do things on my terms again. Now get your stuck-up butt out of my room!
Rhonda: Fine! I know when I’m not wanted. (She walks out)
Brock: Hello listeners. I know what you all want and that’s more music. And that’s what I’m going to give you. Brock of Love is back in control. (Outside the dorm)
Rhonda: Of all the nerve!
Todd: Don’t worry Rhonda, we can have him shut down as soon as you wish.
Rhonda: See that you do.
Jack: Well at least we can go back to our own show.
Rhonda: You’re right. I was so caught up making Brock look good, I completely forgot about our show. That’s the last time I do any kind of charity!
Todd: Well, it’s a good thing I’ve been keeping old copies of our old shows on file so we can play in case something like this happens. (Several men run inside)
Man: The illegal broadcast is close. Keep running men!
Rhonda: Well now…Looks like you don’t have to shut him down now Todd. (Back inside Brock’s room)
Brock: …And that was Mercy by the very talented Duffy. Let’s slow things down for a while with a little… (The door busts open)
Man: Brock of Love, you are under arrest for operating an illegal act.
Brock: Oh shit! (Outside)
Man: Clear the area! Clear the area!
Rhonda: Showtime.
Todd: This is getting good. (Camera flashes) We can put these up on our webpage and have our fans poke fun at this.
Rhonda: Oh, that seems a little cruel…I like it.
Brock: You’ve got it wrong. I’m not alone on this. RHONDA! Tell them. Tell them that you helped me with this.
Rhonda: …I’ve never met this man before in my whole life.
Brock: Huh? You lying bitch!
Man: Let’s go, scumbag! (An hour later at Marcus’s house)
Marisa: Would you like some more ice for your head?
Marcus: Yes please.
Tracey: Marisa, can I please stop writing, “I will not fantasize about Disney sluts again”?
Marisa: Did you give me the 20 pages I asked for? (Tracey groans) You got off easy!
Tracey: I think I have Carpal Tunnel.
Marisa: Small price to pay!
Marcus: Hey, the University is in the news.
Marisa: Turn it up!
Reporter: Inside this dorm room was an illegal radio broadcast for the past two weeks. The suspect is a University resident and sophomore, Brock Harrison. On the radio, he was known as Brock of Love. He is currently in jail. No word yet if he’s going to get kicked out of school.
Marcus: Brock got caught!
Tracey: He could drag us down with him!
Marisa: If he knows what’s good for him… (Clenches her bat) He’ll keep is freakin’ mouth shut. (That night in a jail cell)
Brock: Well, this is great. (Cameron walks by) What’s the word?
Cameron: You made bail. You’re free to go.
Brock: What happened to the machine?
Cameron: Evidence. You’ll be called in for a future trial, but for now you’re free.
Brock: But who paid my bail?
Suzy: I did.
Brock: Suzy?
Suzy: Yes I did. (Slaps him in the face) You’re an idiot!
Brock: How did you know I was in here?
Suzy: Well, I stopped by the dorms to see you. But when I got there, the room was full of police. Your roommate told me that you had been arrested.
Brock: Oh Suzy, I owe you my life.
Suzy: Let’s take this one step at a time. But since you brought it up, your bail was a pretty hefty amount.
Brock: Oh that…I can get a job or get a loan from my parents. As soon as I get the money, I will pay you back every penny.
Suzy: Stop right there. You are going to earn that money back through hard work. It has to be from you and not Mommy and Daddy. You are getting a job!
Brock: Right, good idea! I just need to find…a job!
Suzy: Done!
Brock: Run that by me!
Suzy: From now on, you are to be my assistant at the animal clinic. You will be working Monday through Friday as soon as all of your classes are over.
Brock: I guess I can do that.
Suzy: There is one more thing. While I was speaking to Harley, Dean Bertha came inside and asked to speak to you. She told me to deliver you a message.
Brock: What was it?
Suzy: All in this note.
Brock: Huh… (Screams) I’ve been kicked out of the dorms. (Sighs) Just as well! But at least she said I can continue going to classes. Damn it, now I’ll have to move back in with my parents and then I have to explain this whole stupid…
Suzy: No you don’t. I read the note before coming here and decided on something else. You’re moving in with me.
Brock: Whoa, this is moving too fast!
Suzy: You’re right Brock. Go ahead and move back in with your parents! Just that I'm not that into little boys who live with Mommy and Daddy.
Brock: You are good…Okay Suzy, you’re on!
Suzy: Very good. (Giggles)
Brock: (Thinking) Wow, what a night! I get arrested, my equipment got confiscated, and to top it off, I get kicked out of the dorms. But on the positive note, I got a new job, a new place to live, and a new girlfriend. Even with all this, one thing is for certain…I GOT A GIRL! I GOT A GIRL! I GOT A GIRL!
Suzy: Oh Brock, let’s go. You've got a lot of work ahead of you.
Brock: You’ve got it!
~*Preview*~
Max: Head-lice is just the worst! And getting it is just bottom of the barrel bad! Say goodbye to your reputation! No one’s privacy is safe anymore because somehow, bad people got a hold of your personal information and next thing you know, you’re branded a loser! (Sighs) At least I’m not the only person in school with it. Next time on Romance 102, Chapter 24…See you next time!
Song(s) used:
*Let's Get It Started by the Black Eyed Peas
*Bicycle Race by Queen
*Always and Forever by Heatwave
*I Feel Pretty from West Side Story
*Click Click Boom by Saliva
*Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood
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