Embedded Files
~Returning Character~
Violet
~New Character Introduced~
Joshua
Original Date of Post: 02/15/2009
Narrator: Christmas time can be the most wonderful time of the year. That’s what Andy Williams sings about! It can also be chaotic, crazy, and a big piece of crap. Yeah, that’s right! The 3 C’s! This story…Is just one of those cases!
Misty: Okay, let’s go down the check list again.
Ash: Let’s not and say we did!
Misty: Do we have balloons?
Ash: Yes.
Misty: And Christmas music?
Ash: I think Marisa is going to bring the music. Do you have a first-aid kit?
Misty: First-aid kit?
Ash: You know we’re going to need one!
Misty: Stop it Ash, this isn't going to be so bad. It’s Christmas time and people will be a lot more calmer. Finals in school will be over and everybody will be full of Christmas cheer.
Ash: If you say so. (Sighs) It’s just that these parties seem to go in a different direction and then something bad happens.
Misty: Take the good with the bad. That’s what I learned during my 17th birthday party.
Ash: Even though it seemed like bad on top of worse!
Misty: Oh yeah Ash, did you invite some of your friends?
Ash: Yeah. I don’t know about Morrison, Richie might fly down with Sakura, Tracey said he might stop by…
Misty: Tracey? Ash…YOU GIANT BONEHEAD!
Ash: What?
Misty: Why the hell did you invite Tracey? (Ash whimpers) If you invited him, he’s going to tell Daisy and then she’s going to want to come. I do not need any of my sisters coming and ruining my party.
Ash: I didn’t think about that.
Misty: And I bet you didn’t think about this either. Marisa is coming to the party. How the hell do you think she’s going to feel if she sees her ex and my sister?
Ash: How about I uninvited him?
Misty: (Sighs) Might as well. I could care less about him after all the hell he put Marisa through. (Daisy runs down the stairs) Someone is coming! Shut up about the party! (Daisy runs into the room)
Daisy: What are you two doing?
Misty: Oh just…Hanging out…For the most part!
Daisy: Is he here yet? (Looks out the window)
Misty: Who?
Daisy: My date!
Misty: No, I haven’t seen Tracey yet.
Daisy: Hello! Where have you been Misty? Tracey and I aren’t dating anymore.
Misty: What? But you went out with him last week! (Doorbell rings)
Daisy: He’s here! (She runs out of the room)
Ash: Problem solved! You can let Tracey come to the party now!
Misty: What about Marisa?
Ash: What about her? (Daisy opens the door)
Daisy: Josh, you’re here!
Josh: Hi Daisy!
Daisy: Josh, this is my youngest sister, Misty and her boyfriend, Ash.
Josh: Hmm, Daisy told me that the youngest sister had an uncanny resemblance to Shrek, but she doesn’t look like an ogre.
Daisy: Oh, you misinterpreted my explanation. I said that she has a temper like Shrek!
Misty: (Sarcastic) Oh, like that’s any better! (Daisy and Josh leave)
Ash: You don’t think they’re going to have sex, are they?
Misty: Knowing Daisy, there’s no telling.
Ash: The last time I talked to Tracey, he told me they haven't gotten past first base.
Misty: Who cares?! Now back to the party… (Ash groans) Would it make you feel better if I told you that Brock is going to cook?
Ash: Brock’s cooking? Alright, party time! (At the dorm cafeteria)
Drew: Great! No Christmas bonus, no nothing!
James: I don’t know why you’re sulking! I’ve been saving up for months to get Jessie the perfect present. I put this cute little outfit made by Burberry on layaway. And with this last paycheck, I have enough. (A little later at the mall) What the? It said $550 when I put it on layaway! Why is it a different price?
Salesman: Actually Mr. James, the price said $680. You need to have your eyes checked.
James: I don’t remember it being $680? The print has always said $550 and that’s the amount I brought.
Salesman: Sorry Mr. James, but the amount is still $680.
James: Drew, look at my receipt from a couple of months ago and tell this simpleton what the price is on my sheet!
Drew: It says you owe $680. (James’s jaw drops) That’s what happens when you have number dyslexia.
James: I’ll be back! (Outside the store)
Drew: Too bad James! Don’t you have any spare cash?
James: With all of the bills that I had to pay like rent, phone bills, and heating, I can’t afford it. Damn it to hell! You can help me out Drew! You’ve always got some extra cash stashed away for a rainy day.
Drew: You know I can’t do that James. I’ve got bills of my own! Not to mention a wife and kid! I can barely afford the gifts that they’ve set their eyes on.
James: What would they want? May isn’t that materialistic and Sara’s a baby! What could they possibly want?
Drew: Well, they kind of went window shopping a few weeks ago and they set their eyes on what they want. Or at least May did! May wants to get this wool sweater that costs an arm and a leg and a little dress for Sara.
James: That damn cheapskate boss of ours! It’s bad enough he’s going to be my father-in-law one day!
Drew: Father-in-law? Are you already thinking about…marriage?
James: One day! And that’s all I’m willing to say on the matter! But we have to find a way to get some extra cash for the holiday season.
Drew: I know it's a long-shot, but what about your parents?
James: Not a chance. Hmm, I know who we can ask! (A little later at Harley’s house)
Drew: This is your idea? Asking Harley?
James: Hey, do you have a better solution?
Drew: Couldn’t you have asked someone else?
James: Nope. (The door opens)
Harley: Ooh, hi darlings! What can I do for you today? But make it quick! I’m in the middle of something!
Drew: Why are you wearing all that black leather?
James: Never mind that now! We would appreciate it very much if you could loan us some extra cash. It is the holiday season after all.
Harley: It sure is! Tis’ the season!
Drew: So will you be willing to help us out?
Harley: My question is what will you do for me?
James: Anything, please!
Drew: You might want to rephrase that “anything” comment when speaking to him.
Harley: I’ve got just the thing! One hour alone with Drew-boy! (Drew whimpers) I will be gentle!
Drew: THAT’S IT! WE’RE OUT OF HERE! (They leave)
James: What the hell? We almost had the money!
Drew: So you would take the money, knowing what he was going to do to me?
James: Yes! Someone’s got to take it in the ass like a man! (Car pulls up) Hey Biff!
Butch: What the? It’s Butch and you know it!
James: What are you doing out of work so early?
Butch: Santa’s Village closed early. We lost another mall Santa!
Drew: We were just at the mall. What happened?
Butch: He quit.
James: Ah! That’s it! Thanks for the inspiration! I’ll see you at home!
Butch: Okay. (Drives away)
James: Drew, you and I are going to get that extra holiday cash and we are going to get some extra work as…
Drew: Don’t say it! Don’t say it!
James: Mall Santa’s!
Drew: I really hate you! Fine! Which one of us is going to be the Santa? Remember, there’s only one Santa Claus to a mall.
James: Oh yeah. Well we can go now and apply for the gig. Tough break for you though! I doubt they are going to hire a short Santa Claus when they can get me to do the job.
Drew: Don’t forget, we have to be interviewed before we get the job. (Later that night in front of Drew’s apartment)
James: I can’t believe you’re going to pass off as jolly old Saint Nick!
Drew: Our new boss is an alcoholic, but I guess that’s a step up from our psychopath boss at the cafeteria.
James: You know with that beard on, you look like my grandfather. (Laughs)
Drew: Shut up James! Sure beats the hell out of being a 5’ 8” elf!
James: My third-eye is telling me that you should have been the elf on a count of you’re shorter than Edward Elric!
Drew: Shut up! Now remember, no one is to know about what we’re doing!
James: Please! I don’t think that anyone could recognize you wearing some booze soaked gray beard, Santa suit with a pillow shoved up there.
Drew: For your sake, you better be right! (Takes off the beard) I’ll see you tomorrow morning. (He goes inside) I’m home!
May: Drew, you look all worn out!
Drew: Don’t worry about me. Work was just brutal as usual.
May: Well all that matters is that you’re home away from that God-awful place for four weeks. Besides, I only have to do a few phone calls tomorrow, so the rest of the afternoon I have open. We can spend some family time together.
Drew: Sorry, no can do.
May: Why not? Your classes are over and you don’t have to go to work.
Drew: It turns out I’m on call at the cafeteria until Christmas Eve.
May: That’s ridiculous! No one is even in the dorms or on campus during the week. Why do you need to be there?
Drew: I don’t know. My boss is a psychopath! Best not to argue with that man.
May: Well, how about if I call your boss and set out a few things?
Drew: Please don’t! I really don’t feel like getting fired!
May: (Sighs) Fine Drew! I guess if it’s until Christmas Eve. (The next morning at Misty’s house)
Violet: Honestly Misty, why didn’t you tell us about this party?
Misty: Because it’s for my friends only!
Lily: You didn’t even ask us if we wanted to come!
Misty: How did you two find out about the party?
Narrator: They went snooping through her drawers and found the check list! (All give a nervous laugh)
Misty: Figures! (Sighs) Fine…Do you guys want to come?
Daisy: Hell no! We’ve all got much better things that we could be doing on Christmas Eve.
Misty: (Silently) Thank God! (Thinking) Well that’s one train wreck avoided! (Josh yawns)
Josh: Hey Daisy, what’s for breakfast?
Misty: Ack! Don’t tell me he spent the night! For Christ sake put your shirt back on!
Daisy: Yes, he did spend the night! And don’t be jealous just because Ash doesn’t have a 12-pack like Josh has!
Misty: Geez, not even Tracey got to spend the night with you! (The doorbell rings)
Daisy: Josh, could you get that? (He opens the door)
Josh: How can I help you, dude?
Tracey: Is Daisy here?
Josh: Why yes she is! And may I ask what business you have with seeing Daisy?
Tracey: I’m her…Wait, who are you? (Lily and Violet walk out) Girls, who is this guy?
Lily: Some guy who obviously got lucky last night!
Violet: And got an STD! (Misty walks up)
Misty: Tracey?
Tracey: Misty, who is he?
Misty: Daisy’s new boyfriend. You two did break up after all!
Tracey: We did what?
Misty: You mean, you guys didn’t break up?
Tracey: No! (Daisy walks up)
Daisy: Oh, hi Tracey!
Tracey: I just came by to give you this! (He throws a bouquet of flowers at her) Go to hell you cheating bitch! (He runs off)
Misty: Wow, karma struck! (Later in the afternoon at the mall)
Drew: (Deep voice) So what would you like for Christmas?
Girl: Pokemon!
Drew: Well, isn’t that sweet? (Turns to James) What the hell is a Pokemon?
James: Beats me! Smile for the camera! (That night)
Drew: I don’t know why you talked me into this!
James: Because we’re desperate for the money to please our loved ones.
Drew: It’s only the first day and I’ve had one baby piss on my leg, two kids tried to pull my beard off, and I had a very close-call with a kid who had the flu!
James: Don’t complain! You’re getting paid more than me! But luckily, I did the math and I’ll have enough money to pay for Jessie’s gift!
Drew: Good for you! (Sighs) We’ve just got a couple of days more of this humiliation and then I can put this ugliness behind me. (The next day at Marisa’s house)
Marisa: Now what are you doing home so early?
Laura: It was the last day of the semester and it was a half day. No point in me asking if you’re the only one in the house, is there?
Marisa: Nope, just me. (Doorbell rings) Who could that be? (Opens the door) Marcus?
Marcus: You are not going to believe this!
Marisa: Believe what?
Marcus: Oh man! Well yesterday morning, Tracey went over to visit Daisy. Well, the person who answered the door just happened to be some boy that Daisy slept with.
Marisa: What’s this gotta do with me? Better yet, why should I give a rat’s ass?
Marcus: Come on little buddy! I talked to Tracey and he just so happened to have mentioned your name to me during his sob speech after Daisy cheated on him.
Marisa: That’s too bad to hear about Daisy cheating on Tracey. But then again, I could care less.
Laura: Bull-crap! You miss Tracey!
Marisa: (Singing) What goes around comes around. What goes up must come down!
Marcus: Don’t sing Alicia Keys, please!
Marisa: Now who’s crying?
Marcus: You’ve made your point! I just thought you might like to hear a little juicy information about your ex.
Marisa: As far as I’m concerned, he’s the one who cheated on me with that blonde whore, so it serves him right. He got what was coming to him! (A little later at Tracey’s house)
Tracey: If Marisa doesn’t want to see me again, that’s her decision. I guess I did deserve that, after what I did to her.
Marcus: Well, yes. Yes, you did deserve it! Imagine how it was for Marisa when she found out that you cheated on her with Daisy.
Tracey: I didn’t mean to do it…intentionally. Over the summer I was a little lonely without Marisa around and of course she was at home taking care of her father. Well one day, I was walking around town and I ran into Daisy. One minute we’re talking and the next minute, her tongue is down my throat. And I guess that’s when you saw me and reported back to Marisa.
Marcus: She still cares about you. She still has feelings for you. Even though she refuses to admit it, she thinks about you constantly. When the doctors took out her appendix, she would stay up and wait, thinking that you were going to come and visit her. Did you come visit her?
Tracey: No.
Marcus: Hell, even when she was dating Lucian, she was still thinking about you.
Tracey: When did she date Lucian?
Marcus: Oh, it was just one date last month! No big deal! Hey, you have no right to get jealous! (Tracey sighs) You can’t tell me that you haven’t had one thought about Marisa ever since you two broke up!
Tracey: You’re right! There were times…Okay, several times where I would think about her. I would have loved to call Marisa on the phone and hear her sweet voice again.
Marcus: Why didn’t you?
Tracey: Well… (Flashback to the summer)
Daisy: Oh, why did I ever break up with you?
Tracey: You didn’t want a long-distance relationship!
Daisy: Oh yeah! But now that we’re both in college and away from high school, we can pick up right where we left off. There’s one thing though. I don’t want you hanging around that nark!
Tracey: You mean Marisa?
Daisy: Of course! Tracey, if you want this relationship to work, then I don’t want you hanging around with past girlfriends.
Tracey: I suppose that makes sense!
Daisy: Exactly! I know you wouldn’t want me hanging around ex-boyfriends!
Tracey: I guess not!
Daisy: Perfect! (End of flashback)
Marcus: For a dumb blonde, she can be pretty smart at times. But the way I see it is that she didn’t want you doing to her the same thing you did to Marisa. (Phone rings) Hello!
Kelly: (Angrily) Where are you?
Marcus: Oh, I’m just visiting a friend. What’s up? Wait, you know it’s not like that! Now don’t be like that! Hello! She hung up! Kelly’s been a little irritated with me lately. I don’t know why! I haven’t done anything to upset her.
Tracey: You didn’t…you know…
Marcus: My God, no! Saving it for marriage!
Tracey: So that’s where Marisa gets it from!
Marcus: Well, I’ll tell you this. If you want to get her back, you have to get to her with that bull-crap she fell in love with in the first place. Throw some of those cornball lines from some crappy-sappy movie! (The next day at the mall)
Drew: I need a reminder. How much longer until we get paid?
James: We get paid Christmas Eve. Luckily, the stores we need to go to don’t close that early. So we’ll just get off from work and go right to the stores and get Jessie and May what they want for a perfect Christmas.
Drew: Sounds good to me!
James: Just as long as we don’t get fired! But then again, the boss told us we’re doing a good job. I don’t think you’re going to pull a “Bad Santa” moment.
Drew: (Gasp) HOLY SH…
James: Drew, watch it! What’s the matter?
Drew: Look there! May is here! (Nearby)
Max: My friends are over there! I’ll meet up with you later!
May: Meet us in front of Macy’s! I appreciate you coming with me Grace.
Grace: Not a problem.
May: Erika is at a doctor’s appointment, Drew’s working, and Kelly is unreachable for one reason or another!
Grace: Well, it is getting close to the holidays. You know Kelly’s probably planning something and doesn’t want to be bugged. So, where do you want to go first?
May: I was thinking we could start with visiting Santa for Sara. Oh, but look at that line!
Grace: Tell you what May, why don’t you let me take Sara to see Santa and we’ll meet you in the food court after we’re done?
May: Okay! Here’s the baby and all of the bags. (She walks away)
Grace: Come on, let’s go see Santa Claus.
Drew: Okay, I think it’s going to be okay! May just went in a different direction.
James: Yeah, but you have to worry about Grace blowing your cover.
Drew: Don’t worry! As a professional actor, I can disguise my voice so that Grace can’t recognize me.
James: With any luck, it could work. Just make sure your beard is on straight and your hair isn’t showing. The green hair is a bit of a giveaway!
Drew: Right! (A little later in the food court)
Forrest: Enough of the food! Which one wants to do the yearly tradition and yank Santa’s beard?
Riley: Forget it! I did that last year and got busted!
Conway: Sorry guys, I do have a conscience!
Forrest: Since when? You’re the guy who still stalks the girl’s bathroom!
Conway: I do not!
Riley: That’s not what we hear from Brianna!
Conway: You know damn-well she’s a liar! Besides, I wouldn’t ever do that to Dawn!
Max: I can do it!
Forrest: Alright, little one! Get ready!
Conway: I can’t watch this!
Riley: I wish I had a camera! (Back at Santa’s village)
Drew: (Thinking) Crap! They’re next! Okay, this is what all of your years and practice has lead to! Don’t blow it!
Grace: Hi Santa! I’ve got someone who wants to see you! (She puts Sara on his lap)
Drew: (Deep voice) What’s your name little girl?
Grace: Her name is Sara! Oh, I better get a picture for May.
Sara: Da-da!
Grace: What did she say?
Drew: I’m not your daddy, little girl!
Sara: Da-da! Da-da! (Max runs up and steals Drew’s beard)
Max: GOT IT! (He runs off)
Drew: My beard!
James: EEK! I’ll get it back, Santa! (He runs after Max)
Butch: Oh man! We really need a bodyguard!
Drew: (Sighs) What a day!
Sara: Da-da!
Drew: Thanks for blowing my cover, kiddo!
James: Come back here you little twerp!
Max: Catch me if you can! (He bumps into Grace and falls down)
Grace: You’re so lucky that it’s me and not your sister or your parents. I’ll take this back to Santa and then I’ll deal with you once I finish with Santa. (She walks back to Drew) Here’s your beard back Drew.
Drew: Oh thank you Grace! AH! How’d you know it was me?
Grace: Lucky guess! Don’t worry! Your secret is safe with me! Hell, I won’t even tell May if you don’t want.
Drew: You are a saint!
Grace: Come on Sara, say goodbye to Santa Claus!
Sara: Bye-bye Da-da! (They walk away)
Drew: That was close! Huh? (All murmuring)
Girl: Mommy, why is Santa’s beard a fake?
Boy: Is that even Santa Claus?
Drew: (Deep voice) Boys and girls, please listen to me! I am really Santa Claus! It’s just that Mrs. Claus wanted me to shave because she gets tired of kissing stubble. That’s why I wear the fake beard.
James: Oh God! (He puts his hand over his face)
Butch: They’re buying it! (Nearby)
Grace: You must have lost your damn mind! What were you thinking?
Max: I did it on a dare!
Grace: Well, you are in big trouble!
Max: (Sarcastic) Ooh, I’m so scared!
Grace: We’ll see about that you little brat! What you may not know is that I took a picture of Sara sitting on Santa’s lap. Now if the picture comes out clean and Santa’s beard is still on, you’re safe. But if there’s a shot of you in that picture, not only will I tell your sister what you did, I will tell her that in that instant after the photo was snapped, Sara fell down off from Santa’s leg. Is that something you’re willing to fight with me about?
Max: No ma’am!
Grace: Very wise decision! (The next morning at the airport)
Ash: Are you sure you’ve got the right flight information?
Misty: Positive! Her flight should have landed about 20 minutes ago, so keep an eye out for her.
Ash: Okay! I just hope she doesn’t look different from the last time we saw her.
Sakura: For your information, I look the same as I always have! (Ash screams)
Ash: I didn’t mean anything by that!
Misty: Oh, I missed you so much! (They hug) How was your flight?
Sakura: It was okay! I’m just glad to be home again.
Ash: So…did Richie come with you?
Sakura: No, I’m afraid not. He’s attending a funeral during the holiday. I don’t think he’s coming back here for a visit. (Ash sighs) So I see you two are as cheerful as ever! (Misty blushes) Yup, I knew it!
Ash: Sakura, now that you’re here, maybe you can talk some sense into Misty by telling her that it’s a bad idea to have a Christmas party with all of our idiot friends.
Sakura: Is it at my house?
Misty: No.
Sakura: Are any of our friends nine months pregnant?
Misty: No.
Sakura: I have no objections!
Ash: (Sighs) I give up!
Narrator: And now it is finally Christmas Eve! Misty is wasting no time getting the house all decorated for the big night.
Misty: Hi Brock! (They hug)
Brock: Just show me to the kitchen and I’ll get started on some of the food!
Misty: Right this way, Master Chef! Hey, didn’t Jasmine come with you?
Brock: Jasmine’s not coming.
Misty: What’s wrong?
Brock: Well, she called me last night and told me she wasn’t feeling too well. But if she was feeling better, she’ll stop by. I told her to not worry about it and rest up.
Misty: I hope she feels better. (Knock on the door) Who could that be? The party doesn’t start for hours! (She opens the door)
Ash: Hey, how’s it going?
Misty: You’re early!
Ash: Thought you might want some help with this breathing disaster.
Misty: Stop saying it’s going to be a disaster, you’ll jinx it! Besides, what are you doing here so early?
Ash: I had to leave the house or I was going to kill somebody! Mom lost it and invited Gary to spend Christmas with us.
Misty: (Sighs) Okay, you can spend the day with us. But, you have to help me and Sakura out with the decorations and when the party is over, you have to stay with a friend.
Ash: Deal! Now then, I’m going to help myself to some food. I saw Brock’s car out front so I’m going to assume that he has something prepared and ready to be eaten! (He goes into the kitchen)
Brock: STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!! (He runs out of the room)
Ash: Or, I’ll just help you ladies out! (At May and Drew’s apartment)
May: Remember Drew, once your shift is over go straight to Misty’s house.
Drew: Her party? Sorry, I might be a little late, but I promise I’ll be there.
May: Come on Drew! All of our friends are going to be there!
Drew: I’ll be there! (Horn honks) That’s James, I’ll see you later!
May: Drew, you dropped your…Santa hat?
Drew: I’ll take that! See you later! (He leaves)
May: I thought Drew hated wearing hats!
Sara: Santa Da-da!
May: Huh? (Later at Misty’s house)
Marisa: I’ve got the Christmas music!
Misty: Wow, we’ve got quite the selection?
Laura: You sure do! Tell her what we have!
Marisa: I have different kinds of CD’s to get us in the Christmas spirit. I have old classic Christmas songs, the Temptation’s Christmas songs, Redneck Christmas songs, and my personal favorite Charlie Brown.
Ash: The Temptation’s? Isn’t that something our parents listen to when they want to get into the mood?
Marisa: I like the Temptations!
Ash: Right! I forgot who I was talking to! You’ll listen to anything! One minute it's soul music, the next is heavy metal!
Marisa: You’re damn right and don’t you forget it.
Laura: Oh, you have a piano! We can also play Christmas songs on there if someone knows how to play.
Marisa: The only one I know who can play is Harley. (They all shudder) Never mind! Misty, I’m a little parched. Mind if I go into the kitchen and get something to drink?
Misty: If you can make it past Brock’s barrier, then go right ahead. (She walks in the kitchen)
Ash: It’s not too late to call everything off!
Misty: Shut up! (The doorbell rings) I’ll get it!
Marcus: Ho, ho, ho! And I’m not talking about the Hilton sisters!
Misty: Marcus! (They hug)
Marcus: Little cous’ I didn’t know you were coming! Where’s little buddy? (Marisa walks into the room) There you are!
Ash: Did Brock yell at you?
Marisa: Not at all! I got my drink in peace! (The door opens)
Brock: Damn you Marisa! You knocked one of my teeth loose! (He slams the door)
Marcus: (Whispering) I take it that was a warm-up for when Tracey gets here. (She glares at him)
Marisa: What was that Marcus?
Marcus: Nothing!
Laura: Come on Marisa, let’s not start any drama! (She glares at her) I…It…It’s Christmas after all! (Marisa smiles)
Marisa: (Laughs) You’re right! It’s Christmas after all!
Misty: That laugh scares me! (Knock on the door)
Laura: I guess we’re getting more people arriving! (They open the door)
Misty: Welcome May and Grace!
May: I hope you don’t mind if I brought along the baby.
Misty: Not at all! When she gets tired she can sleep on my bed.
Grace: Just make sure that you put her in the middle so that she doesn’t fall off.
Marcus: Grace, by any chance did Kelly come with you?
Grace: No and I haven’t really talked to her within the last few weeks. I don’t even know if she’ll show up tonight. (Ash runs to the kitchen)
Ash: Brock, more of our guests are arriving! Isn’t the food ready yet?
Brock: NO! GO AWAY! (Ash runs out of the kitchen)
Ash: Aw man! (Stomach growls) I’m hungry!
Marisa: So where’s Drew?
May: He’ll be by here later. He had to work!
Misty: Huh? That’s impossible! Unless he got a new job, there’s no way he could be at work. The school cafeteria is closed until school comes back into session, he can't be there.
May: So…He lied to me?
Grace: Of course he didn’t! There’s always a good reason for Drew’s weird behavior!
Marcus: Yeah, he could be dealing drugs! (May walks to the phone)
May: I’m going to get to the bottom of this! (Ringing)
Boss: Hello, you have reached the Pallet University Cafeteria. Please call back on January 18th when we return from Winter Break. Thank you and Happy Holidays.
May: Why of all the… (She hangs up)
Misty: Oh no!
Ash: Hmm, I’m surprised we went this long without someone blowing a gasket! (Knock on the door)
Misty: Winona!
Winona: Hi Misty! I hope you don’t mind if I brought along Steven.
Misty: Not at all, the more the merrier. How’s it going Steven?
Steven: It’s going alright!
Dawn: We’re here!
Zoey: Merry Christmas!
Misty: Hi you two! (Laura runs over)
Laura: Wow…Dawn and Zoey together without Conway or Marley!
Zoey: Don’t get any ideas! The two of them had other engagements for the evening. It’s just a coincidence that the two of us are here together.
Laura: Is it also a coincidence that Dawn’s mother drove the both of you here?
Zoey: Shut it! (Grace runs into another room)
Grace: Come on! Pick up! Pick up! (At the mall)
James: (Sighs) Sweet satisfaction!
Drew: Yeah, yeah! Let’s get the gifts and get the hell out of here! (Phone rings) Hello!
Grace: Drew, its Grace! When the hell are you getting over here?
Drew: When James and I get our gifts for the family, we’ll be at the party!
Grace: Yeah, I’ve got a problem. I don’t know what to tell May! She’s already found out that you’re not working at the cafeteria and thinks something’s up.
Drew: Just tell her that I was…
James: Hurry up! Our stores close in 20 minutes!
Drew: I’ve got to go! (He hangs up)
Grace: Crap! (The door opens) Huh?
May: Grace, I want you to watch over Sara for me. I’m going to find that inconsiderate husband of mine!
Grace: Wait May! Drew’s not being inconsiderate. Look, I can’t really give you any big details but expect something big from Drew when he gets here.
May: Where are my car keys?
Grace: Wait, you can’t leave! Because… (Looks out the window) Ha! It’s snowing outside! There, it’s settled, you’re not going anywhere for a while!
May: What do you know?
Grace: Not much, except I know that Drew is on his way! You have to trust me on this! (The door opens)
Marcus: May, Grace, get your butts out here now! Tracey just arrived and the gates of Hell are about to open up! (They go into the other room) Hey, where’s little buddy? (In the kitchen)
Brock: Thanks for helping me with all of the food!
Marisa: Not a problem! Hey, sorry about before!
Brock: I just didn’t want to be distracted while preparing everything.
Marisa: Isn’t Jasmine going to show up?
Brock: Nah! She isn’t feeling too good today so she’s missing out on the party.
Marisa: That’s too bad to hear. (They enter the room) The food is ready!
Ash: Finally!
Tracey: Huh? (Marisa walks towards him) Hi Marisa!
Marisa: (Firmly) Hello.
Marcus: HARLEY’S HERE!
Marisa: He is, now? I’ve got to hide the eggnog! (She runs into the kitchen)
Brock: Right behind you! I do not want him singing Silent Night with his shirt off again! (He runs into the kitchen)
Tracey: Thanks a lot Marcus!
Marcus: They needed some kind of head start! Do you really want to go through another Christmas hearing a version of Jingle Bell Rock where all the words are changed to eggnog?
Tracey: No I don’t! (The door opens)
Harley: Hi party people! Where is the eggnog?
Misty: Oh yeah! We went shopping for the eggnog and by a big surprise all of the stores were fresh out! Isn’t that right Sakura?
Sakura: That’s right! Sorry, no eggnog! We don’t even have any in the house!
Harley: No…Nog? (Depressed sigh)
Nando: It’s okay Harley! We can have fun without the eggnog. Can you at least smile for the camera?
Harley: What’s the point?
Misty: You brought a video camera?
Nando: Oh yes. My parent’s sent me a new camera for Christmas so I’m giving this baby a good workout tonight. Although it was put into good use last night!
Misty: I don’t think I want to know!
Nando: Come on Harley! Smile for me? (Harley sighs)
Ash: Harley’s not being stupid! Finally, things are turning around! (Knock on the door) Maybe this night won’t be a complete nightmare.
Misty: Will you shut up! (Opens the door) Erika! Great you could make it! (She falls down)
Ash: I spoke too soon!
Marcus: Is she dead?
Grace: Hardly! She reeks of vodka and vomit!
Tracey: Did she drive here or walk?
Sakura: Ooh, whoever is the owner of the black Volkswagen, you’ve got one major ding!
Marcus: (Screams) THAT’S MY CAR! You drunken bitch!
Erika: (Hiccups) Fuck you! (Passes out)
Grace: I’m going to throw her in your sister’s room.
Misty: Put a bucket near her in case she has an accident! (Brock and Marisa walk out of the room)
Brock: We’re back!
Marisa: What happened in here? Why is everybody so quiet? (Voice from outside)
Marcus: (Screaming) MY CAR! MY FRIGGIN’ CAR!
Marisa: What the hell? (Looks out the window) Whoa! The snow isn’t that bad? Who crashed into Marcus’s car?
Tracey: Erika came and…
Marisa: (Firmly) Was I talking to you?
Nando: It was that crazy girl, Erika! She was driving under the influence.
Marisa: Oh good! (Cracks knuckles) I’m in the mood to rip someone a new ass-hole. Where is she? (Door shuts)
Grace: Passed out in a puddle of her own filth, so you’ll have to take a message.
Misty: Come on guys! Erika isn’t going anywhere and she’ll stay in the room. Let’s just go on with the party. (All agreeing) That’s more like it! (Back outside)
Marcus: That crazy bitch ruined my friggin’ car! Damn it and this was my mother’s car! I am so dead! (A car pulls up)
Lucian: What are you doing out here in the snow? You’re going to catch a cold if you stay out here too long.
Marcus: I’m looking to see how much damage is done to the car!
Lucian: Wow, what’d you do?
Marcus: Are you that blind? Do you not see the white Sedan crashed into my car? Erika, my former acquaintance did this because she was fucking drunk!
Lucian: Come on Marcus! Let’s just go inside. You can call AAA and I can give you a ride home later.
Marcus: While you’re at it, call AA and see if we can get Erika back in! (Outside of the mall)
James: Just in the nick of time!
Drew: I’m glad that everything worked out! You can just drop me off at Misty’s house. I'm late for a party!
James: Hey, I’ll join you. Jessie won’t be back in town until tomorrow, so I’ve got nothing on my plate for the evening.
Drew: Sounds good!
James: Why are you still wearing the suit?
Drew: It’s just that, I think May should know where I was this whole time. Plus, I don’t have to return the suit until after Christmas and the mall manager said it was okay.
James: You’re crazy! So which way to Misty’s house?
Drew: Take the highway. (Back at the party)
Tracey: Somehow I knew you’d be here at the party.
Lucian: Well, Misty invited me and I really didn’t have any other plans tonight.
Tracey: You and I need to talk.
Lucian: Yes we do. Why did you hurt Marisa the way you did?
Tracey: Huh?
Lucian: The poor thing went through hell this year and you basically stabbed her in the heart when you cheated on her. Even after you broke up with her, all she ever thought about was you. Even after our date, you were the only one on her mind!
Tracey: I already know that! I just wish she would let me talk to her. It’s the first time we’ve been in a room together since the break-up.
Lucian: It’s up to her to talk to you. If I was her, I would kick you in the crotch and throw you out in the snow. (Knock on the door)
Laura: Kelly?
Kelly: Hi Laura. Do you know where your cousin is?
Laura: I think she’s in the kitchen.
Kelly: Good. (She walks into the kitchen)
Marisa: Hi Kelly.
Kelly: I need to talk to you right now.
Marisa: Okay.
Kelly: I don’t want you hanging around Marcus anymore.
Marisa: Huh? Where is this coming from?
Kelly: You heard me bitch. Just stay the hell away from my boyfriend! (She runs out of the room)
Brock: Whoa! What’d you do to piss off Kelly?
Marisa: I have no clue. I don’t know why she would be jealous of the relationship that I have with Marcus. I’m going to talk to Marcus about this! (She leaves the room)
Tracey: Hey Marisa…
Marisa: Not now! (Tracey sighs)
Marcus: That’s good to know. Thank you. (Hangs up)
Sakura: So what’s the word?
Marcus: Well, my mom isn’t too pissed off, but of course she isn’t too happy about the situation either. She’s just happy to know I’m safe and that I’m not the one at fault. The insurance should cover most of the damage to the car. (Sighs) Now I can enjoy the rest of this party with that worry off my shoulders.
Marisa: Marcus, we’ve got a problem. Sakura, do you mind? (Sakura leaves) Your girlfriend cornered me in the kitchen and told me that you and I cannot see each other anymore.
Marcus: Kelly is here?
Marisa: Did you not hear the part where I said that she doesn’t want us to see each other anymore?
Marcus: Oh yeah. Why’s that?
Marisa: I don’t know, but you need to talk to her. (The front door opens)
Daisy: Misty!
Tracey: Huh?
Marcus: Whoa! It’s drama time!
Marisa: Is that the guy Daisy’s screwing? Yuck! He looks trashy!
Misty: Damn it Daisy, you’re not even supposed to be here! And why did you have to bring Josh with you?
Daisy: Relax! They cancelled our reservations at the restaurant, so Josh and I have decided to crash your little party. (Tracey stands up and goes into Misty’s room)
Marcus: There goes Mr. Gloomy! When are you going to go talk to him?
Marisa: When are you going to talk to your girlfriend?
Marcus: Okay, okay, I’ll talk to her.
Grace: I better roll Erika onto the floor so Daisy doesn’t notice a drunk on her bed. (She runs off) Keep your sister out here please!
Misty: Marisa, where did Tracey go?
Marisa: I think he’s in your room sobbing like a little bitch. Whatever! It’s no longer my concern. (In Misty’s room)
Tracey: Well, this sucks. (Tears up) Daisy hates me, Marisa hates me! I just don’t know anymore. (Sara cries) Huh? (He picks her up) Sorry I woke you up, kid. (She stops crying) There you go! You’re so lucky, you have two parents who are happy and together. Oh, you’re just too young to know what love is. (The door opens)
May: Tracey? What are you doing in here?
Tracey: Oh, I was just… (Wipes the tears from his eyes) I just heard Sara crying so I came to check on her.
May: That’s so sweet. Thank you Tracey! Huh? Are you crying?
Tracey: No, no, no…I just had something in my eye, that’s all.
May: No you’re not, you’re crying.
Tracey: Marisa won’t talk or listen to me and now Daisy is here with her new boyfriend.
May: I’d be lying if I said that you didn’t deserve some of this. But, I guess that’s pretty messed up of what Daisy is doing. I mean, you broke up a couple of weeks ago, right?
Tracey: No. She cheated on me with that guy she’s with and I didn’t find out about it until just a couple of days ago.
May: She cheated on you? (Tracey nods) Well I can easily tell you that Marisa never did that to you! So why did you cheat on her in the first place?
Tracey: It was a…Oh forget it! No one else will believe me, why should you?
May: Talk to Marisa. (In the bathroom)
Marisa: Oh…What’s the matter with me? Just a week ago, you were optimistic that he would come to his senses and come back to me. But now, I’m treating him like crap when I normally would have cuddled him. Huh? What’s this? Hmm, looks like a pregnancy test. Oh, who is going to be the lucky mother? Wait a minute!
Narrator: A few moments ago!
Daisy: Bathroom’s all yours!
Narrator: We have a winner!
Marisa: It must be Daisy’s! (Thinking) That means she must have gotten pregnant from either Tracey or that new guy. If it is Tracey’s baby in there, I will have no more respect for him. (Knock on the door) Oh geez, if it’s Erika’s drunk ass... (She opens the door) Oh, it’s you.
Tracey: Oh sorry, I didn’t realize you were in there.
Marisa: If I knew you were going to try and follow me into the bathroom, I would have called some of our friends so we can make a party.
Tracey: Look Marisa…
Marisa: I know what you’re up to! Daisy cheats on you and you think you can come crying to me for pity. Thinking that I would welcome you with open arms! You are dead wrong! Get the fuck out of my way! (She walks away)
Tracey: Well, that didn’t help. (He goes into the bathroom) Man, I screwed up. What the hell is that? A pregnancy test! (Gasp) Oh man! (Thinking) Marisa is pregnant! Lucian must have gotten her pregnant! That rat! (In the other room)
Nando: Come on Harley! Smile for me! (Harley turns away) How about a nice jingle on the piano? You love to play! You know you want to!
Harley: Nah!
Winona: Wow, Harley seems so depressed.
Misty: Almost makes me wish we had eggnog to give to him.
May: Is he here yet?
Misty: Drew? No, he hasn’t shown up yet.
May: That lying jerk!
Winona: Wait a second! Maybe Drew isn’t lying. I’ve known Drew since he was a freshman. Now one thing I’ll tell you about him is that he’s always sincere and true to his word.
May: Well the Drew you knew changed since he was 14! I’m going to try and call him again. (Nearby)
Marcus: Kelly, where are you? (Marisa grabs him by the arm) What’s up?
Marisa: I will tell you what’s up…In another room! Let’s go! I think Tracey got Daisy pregnant.
Marcus: Whoa! This night is just getting started!
Marisa: I’m serious Marcus. She was in the bathroom before me and I saw the pregnancy kit on the counter. It was blue! Blue means she’s pregnant!
Marcus: Now hold on a second! It could be that other guy’s baby. I mean, I talked to Tracey almost every day and he said they never had sex.
Marisa: Sure, he’d tell you that. (Kelly walks by) But what am I going to do? I mean I thought I was going to get it all together…And then, there was that pregnancy test!
Marcus: Is there anything I can…
Kelly: GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF OF HIM!
Marcus: Kelly?
Kelly: I thought I could turn the other cheek, but now I find out that you got Marisa pregnant!
Marcus: I did what?
Marisa: Yeah, he wishes!
Kelly: Yeah, whatever bitch!
Marisa: Kelly, get it through your crazy, fucked-up head that Marcus and I are only friends. More to the point, I am not pregnant and if I was, I sure as hell wouldn’t be carrying Marcus’s baby.
Kelly: Just stay away from my boyfriend you fucking skank! (She storms out of the room)
Marisa: So what now?
Marcus: (Sighs) I know what I’ve got to do. (Walks away)
Marisa: (Sarcastic) Great, this is some night. (Knock on the door)
Misty: I thought everybody was here. (Opens the door) Santa?
Daisy: (Laughing) Oh my God Misty! You still believe Santa Claus is real? You are sad!
Drew: (Deep voice) Ho, ho, ho! I’ve got gifts for the two cute girls in the room. (Grace gasps and runs off)
Grace: Girl, get in here! (Grabs May)
May: What’s going on? (Gasp)
Sara: Da-da!
May: No Sara, that’s Santa Claus! (She walks towards him) So Santa, what brings you here tonight?
Drew: I wanted to give you this and one for your daughter.
May: Thank you Santa! (She kisses him)
Drew: (Regular voice) Now what was that for?
May: Well, you are standing under the mistletoe.
Drew: So I am! (They kiss again)
Misty: Now you see Ash. Things are finally turning around for the better!
Grace: Look Sara, I see Mommy kissing Santa Claus!
Sara: Da-da! (All laughing)
Dawn: Now isn’t that cute?
Marisa: Kelly! Where’d you go?
Ash: She isn’t in here?
Misty: Why are you looking for Kelly?
Marisa: No one gets away with insulting me like that.
Ash: Uh-oh!
Marisa: She had the nerve to say that Marcus got me pregnant. I’ll kill her!
Tracey: Wait, I thought that Lucian got you pregnant!
Lucian: I got her pregnant?
Marisa: What, no! No one got me pregnant or took away my virginity. Besides, I found a pregnancy test and I know that the test belongs to Daisy. (All gasp) She was the one who left the bathroom before me and when I went in there, I saw a pregnancy test.
Daisy: Me? Can’t be! I’m on the pill!
Misty: So it wasn’t Marisa’s and it wasn’t Daisy’s.
Laura: Then who did the test belong to?
Marisa: I don’t know, but whoever it is, she is pregnant. (Zoey glares at Dawn)
Dawn: It isn’t mine!
Laura: Or mine!
Winona: Wait you guys! Before you lynch anybody, I think you should know that the test is mine.
Steven: Huh?
Winona: Yeah, that’s right. I’m pregnant.
Steven: Really? I can’t believe it. This is great! Oh my God! I love you Winona!
Winona: You mean it? (Steven nods) Thank you Steven! (All clapping)
Ash: Okay, it just keeps going back and forth between the bad and the good that I’m starting to lose count.
Misty: Do you want to just call it a tie?
Harley: Misty, I found some eggnog! This party is safe!
Ash: Tie broken and disaster reins over all! (Misty sighs)
Harley: I’m about to sing a little tune I call, “Last Christmas.”
Nando: Sing it baby!
Harley: (Singing) Last Christmas, I gave you my heart… (Outside)
Marcus: I finally caught up with you. Now we’re alone, just tell me what is wrong with you.
Kelly: I don’t want you to see Marisa anymore, case closed.
Marcus: That is not case closed! Why do you have some sort of crazy notion that I would ever leave you for her.
Kelly: (Tears up) The last couple of months, you’ve been spending more time at that girl’s house than you did with our relationship. The first year was fine, but now...every time I try to call you, you’re at her house or with her somewhere. Do I get in on any of the action? No! Do I get invited? No!
Marcus: We have our time together.
Kelly: Barely! I have to know! Are you going to stop seeing her or stop seeing me?
Marcus: Do not make me choose!
Kelly: I’m giving you five seconds!
Marcus: I cannot choose between my girlfriend and my best friend. I just can’t! I refuse to do that!
Kelly: I’m leaving! Goodbye! (She leaves)
Marcus: Oh man!
Marisa: Are you alright Marcus?
Marcus: Would you be alright if a drunk crashed into your car and your girlfriend leaves you? (Sighs) This sucks! I’m sorry! I just can’t make that decision. I care for Kelly and I care for my little buddy!
Marisa: So that means…
Marcus: If I sacrifice having a girlfriend just to keep being friends with you, I would do it in a heartbeat. We’ve been through too much to throw it all away.
Marisa: I can’t believe it!
Marcus: Believe it! We are BFF’s! (They hug)
Marisa: Thank you Marcus. But don’t ever say BFF again! I hate that term. (Tracey walks outside)
Marcus: (Whispering) I think somebody wants to talk to you. (Marisa scoffs) Just hear him out. I’ll give you two some privacy. (Marisa walks over to him)
Marisa: Tracey.
Tracey: Oh, hey. How’s it going?
Marisa: Honestly...better now that a few things were settled.
Tracey: … (Sighs) …I’m sorry.
Marisa: What are you apologizing for?
Tracey: For everything! I’m sorry for kissing Daisy, for breaking up with you, for not being supportive to you when you needed it the most, for not seeing you in the hospital, for not easing the pain, and just the whole year overall!
Marisa: You expect me to just take you back after the pain you put me through?
Tracey: I thought that the slap in the face you gave me was painful, but not seeing you for these last four months was at least five times more painful.
Marisa: Yeah sure, painful! I wasn’t even on your mind whenever you were with Daisy.
Tracey: You’re wrong! It was because of Daisy that I didn’t even see you at all. She had forbidden me from seeing you, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about you every now and then.
Marisa: Then why did you cheat on me?
Tracey: Honestly, I missed being with someone. You and I were very distant during the summer. I ran into Daisy one day and we started talking. Next thing I knew...well it started with that kiss. I know Marcus saw that part.
Marisa: You’re lucky it was Marcus and not me. Otherwise, I’d throw you off a cliff and make sure that you would not be able to walk again.
Tracey: I know and I deserve any kind of punishment I get. (Tears up) It’s just that…It’s just that I still love you. (Marisa gasps) I've always loved you. I know you hate me, but… (Marisa kisses him on the lips) …Marisa?
Marisa: Oh Tracey! (She hugs him)
Tracey: What was with the kiss?
Marisa: You’re…standing under the mistletoe.
Tracey: What is it with you girls and mistletoe?
Marcus: Actually, I held it up behind you so she couldn’t resist.
Tracey: How long were you there watching us?
Marcus: I think I walked in on your apology. Funny, it seemed less corny than I thought.
Marisa: And what about you and Kelly? Honestly, your girlfriend got jealous of me. If anyone gets jealous over me, then they’re a sad sack of crap. (Sneezes)
Tracey: Bless you! Let’s go back inside, I don’t want you catching a cold. (They all walk inside)
Marisa: Thanks.
Tracey: Do you want to wear my jacket until you warm up?
Marisa: No, I think I should be alright. (All gasp) What the hell are you all staring at?
Ash: You guys are back?
Misty: Together?
Brock: How many teeth is he missing?
Tracey: Yes, yes, and none.
Marisa: We kissed and made up. And I forgave him for all of his sins. Even though, he cheated on me with a blonde bitch, who also cheated on him, somehow I just can’t stay away from Tracey.
Daisy: Who are you calling a blonde bitch?
Tracey: She is, you bitch! Now as I recall, I don’t remember you being invited to this party. So that means we want you to leave!
Marisa: And take that trash bag you call a boyfriend out with you!
Josh: Come on Daisy! We can spend Christmas at my place! (They leave)
Misty: Wow, you guys got rid of my sister!
Ash: Alls well that ends well!
Nando: Let’s sing another song!
Harley: Ooh, I know the perfect one! (Harley starts playing the piano)
(Singing)
To spell Santa's name
Is easy to do
You write S, A, N, T
And another A, too.
But no L, no L
Santa's name has no L
And he won't be too pleased
If you don't learn to spell.
Marisa: Hey, I remember this song!
Marcus: Oh yeah, we had to sing it in choir in middle school.
Brock: Wasn’t this song from the Animaniacs?
Marcus: Oh shut up and sing like the rest of us!
All: (Singing)
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch water from a well
But when neither one could find it
Jill started to yell.
No well, no well
Can't believe there's no well!
We walked all the way here
And I'm mad, can't you tell.
Captain Ahab took his crew
His harpoon and set sail
And he called out to ships
Have you seen the white whale?
No whale, no whale
No, we ain't seen no whale
Saw a couple of dolphins
And a big yellowtail.
If you've listened to this tune
Then you probably can tell
That you've heard it before
It's a song you know well.
Know well, know well
It's a song you know well
And we've ruined it completely
So we all say, "Oh well."
Oh well, oh well
We'll just say, "Fare thee well"
Merry Christmas to you
And a joyous Noël.
Harley: Another song! Any requests?
Grace: How about Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer?
Harley: That, I can do! (Phone ringing)
Brock: Hey, that’s my phone. (He goes into another room) Hello. Yes, this is Brock Harrison. Really? Oh yes, I’ll be right over. (He grabs his coat)
Misty: Where are you going?
Brock: Something happened! I have to leave now! (Runs out of the door)
Ash: Hey, you were supposed to let me stay over for the night!
Marcus: Don’t worry Ash. I’ll let you stay at my house. (Car alarm goes off)
Misty: What the hell was that? (They all run outside)
Sakura: Marcus, you are having a bad evening altogether!
Marcus: (Screaming) WHO DID THIS TO MY CAR? WHOSE CAR JUST SLAMMED INTO MY CAR?! IT WAS ALREADY DAMAGED! WHO DID THIS?!
Drew: James, isn’t that your car?
James: That can’t be my car. Someone would have to have my keys and my keys…Are not in my pocket! SOMEBODY IS STEALING MY CAR!
Grace: Uh-oh. (Runs into another room) Oh no! That idiot! (Runs to the car) Erika! (Turns the car off) Erika! Somebody call 911! She’s not breathing! Erika! My God, she’s turning white! Erika, don’t die on me. I have to kill you first! (A little later at the hospital)
Brock: Please be okay. Dear God, please be okay.
Doctor: Brock Harrison?
Brock: That’s me.
Narrator: To be continued.
Song(s) used:
*Karma by Alicia Keys
*Last Christmas by WHAM
*Noel from the Animaniacs
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