Original Date of Post: 02/10/2008
Narrator:
Twas the week before Christmas and all through Pallet High,
All of the students gave a great big sigh.
Because it is finals week,
Everything is depressing and bleak.
But some look forward to the upcoming holiday,
Especially the big Theatre Par-tay!
All of the thespians seem happy and glee,
All except for one you see…
Marcus: Finally! Finals are over!
Tracey: Amen to that!
Misty: I know. I was afraid Sakura’s head was about to pop this week.
Sakura: I’m not that bad you guys!
Narrator: One day earlier…
Sakura: AH! WHERE’S MY TERM PAPER?! WHERE ARE MY MATH NOTES?! I NEED MY CHEMISTRY NOTES! AHH! (Back to the present)
Marisa: See…she is that bad!
Marcus: Well now that finals are over, we can focus on the winter break and more importantly, Christmas! Hopefully I will get a new pair of sunglasses since Ash broke my last pair!
Ash: I told you that I was sorry! Besides, who wears sunglasses in the middle of winter anyways? You look like you’re going to go on a shooting rampage everyday!
Marisa: Shut up Ash! Don’t worry Marcus. I have a feeling you’ll be getting a new pair.
Marcus: You got me a new pair, didn’t you?
Marisa: Like I’m telling you!
Marcus: But I think you just did!
Marisa: You’re terrible!
Sakura: See, you guys act like such a couple.
Both: We do not!
Marisa: You all know that Marcus is my brother from another mother! Well anyways, we’re going to the theatre.
Marcus: Yeah, we’re going to meet up with the rest of the thespians and get ready for a big party at Solidad’s house. (Sighs) I just hope that Harley won’t get into the eggnog again and make a complete ass out of himself this year.
Marisa: It wasn’t that bad last year.
Marcus: He didn’t try kissing you underneath the mistletoe. (Brock runs up)
Brock: Hi guys!
Tracey: Is that mistletoe hanging from the top of your head?
Brock: It sure is! Anyone who stands underneath will have to kiss me!
Marisa: Get him away from me!
Brock: (Scoffs) Like I would ever kiss a snake like you! (Marisa growls) Wish me luck with this thing! (Harley runs up)
Harley: Ooh, mistletoe! (He runs under the mistletoe and kisses Brock) Ooh, you’re a good kisser Brock!
Brock: I’ve got to puke!
Marisa: I love karma!
Brock: Shut up Marisa! (He spits on the ground) I won’t give up! (He runs off) Who wants some holiday cheer from your favorite Brocky?
Erika: Get away you sick freak!
Grace: Oh gross!
Kelly: EW! (They run off)
Marina: PERVERT! PERVERT! PERVERT! (Hits Brock with a book)
Ash: Poor Brock, he just can’t catch a break.
Marisa: Well, we’ll see you guys later.
Marcus: Happy Holidays! (In the theatre)
Grace: Ugh, just one more Christmas to go and then we won’t have to suffer the wrath of Brock or his mistletoe anymore.
Kelly: Unless we end up in the same college as him.
Grace: Please don’t speak of such horribleness.
Erika: Oh enough of that, finals are over which means it’s time for the party tonight.
Marcus: And the big gift exchange.
May: Don’t you mean Secret San…
Marisa: Uh, we can’t say that. Legal issue and such!
Marcus: This stupid…
Marisa: Let’s not get into that Marcus.
Solidad: Okay you guys, the party will start at my place at 6:00pm. The directions to my house are in the classroom. And I just got word that Robert is home from college and might stop by. Now don’t forget to bring your presents for the gift exchange.
May: Hey, where’s Drew?
Solidad: Oh dear.
Marcus: Drew isn’t one for the holidays.
May: Is he Jewish?
Solidad: Well actually, he’s half Jewish, but that’s not the problem. For as long as I’ve known him, he has never cared for this time of year. It’s best not to delve into his past.
Harley: Yeah, Drew boy is such a Grinch during the holiday. Now then, on with the party plans! You did remember to buy eggnog right Solidad?
Solidad: Ugh…
Marcus: Aw crap!
Marisa: You’re going to have a front row seat to real jackass-ary. Uh, May?
Marcus: I guess she already got freaked out by Harley. (A little later in the choir room)
May: I thought I would find you here.
Drew: Oh, hello May. (They kiss)
May: Come on!
Drew: Come on what?
May: We’re going to the party.
Drew: No thanks.
May: Why not?
Drew: I’m not interested. I have more important things to do than go to some stupid party.
May: Why won’t you go Drew? Everyone thinks that you’re a grinch during this time of year. Don’t you want to disprove their logic?
Drew: I’m just not into this time of year. (She grabs his hand)
May: It’ll be fun. (He pushes her away) Drew!
Drew: I said NO! (May gasps) I think you should leave. Now!
May: But Drew…
Drew: GET OUT! (May tears up and runs out of the room) Where was I? (A little later)
Miss Marion: My goodness, it is freezing outside. Oh hi Drew. I didn’t know you were still here.
Drew: Yeah, I thought I would get some peace and quiet in here!
Miss Marion: Well I don’t want to disturb you. I know you come in here when you want to be alone. Just remember to shut the lights off when you’re done.
Drew: I will.
Miss Marion: Well, I’ll see you around Drew. I have to go home and prepare. My sisters are coming over and it’s my turn to cook. (She leaves)
Drew: Okay then, back to work! (The lights go out) What the hell? I can’t even practice without some stupid interruption. Maybe if I just open the door, I can get some light in here. (The door opens by itself and a strong wind blows into the room) What the hell? (Robert blows in)
Robert: My, that was some wind.
Drew: Robert? What are you doing here?
Robert: I’m going to tell you the truth Drew, I’m not really Robert. I’ve just been sent here to warn you…
Drew: Well if you’re not Robert, who the hell are you?
Robert: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you before you interrupted me. I’ve been sent here to warn you about three spirits who are coming to visit you. I’m here disguised as someone you know. Now I don’t know why you’re getting this. Either it’s because you were a jerk during the holidays and it’s our job to do some cheesy hocus pocus crap ripped off from a famous Christmas movie, or you’ve been eating the cafeteria food. (In a spooky voice) But beware Drew! BEWARE! (Robert leaves)
Drew: I didn’t believe in that ghost of Kari Rockwell and I’m not going to start believing in ghosts now! (Drew slams the door shut and sits down) What the hell was that all about? Something tells me that May ran to Solidad and got her to play a trick on me. (The door opens and he hears footsteps) Look Robert or whoever the hell you are, I don’t believe in ghosts, phantoms, or spirits! So why don’t you go bug Miss Agatha or someone else? (Footsteps become louder) This is ridiculous, I don’t need this crap. (A hand starts stroking Drew’s butt) Whoa, May is that you? (Turns around) UGH! YOU'RE NOT MAY!
Harley: Do you see a little pipsqueak wearing a bandanna? No you don’t!
Drew: What do you want Harley?
Harley: Well I just look like your friend Harley. But you may call me the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Drew: Shouldn’t it be Ghost of Holiday Past?
Harley: Okay first off, this is the name the big guy upstairs gave me. Second, you’re only half Jewish. You open Christmas presents like every other spoiled child in the world. And third, shut the hell up because we’re going on a little trip.
Drew: I’m not going anywhere.
Harley: Gee, the big guy upstairs was right. You are a stubborn old goat. I’m not going to lose my job otherwise I’ll be demoted to the tooth fairy.
Drew: What a shame. I’m sure you’ll scare all of the little kids. (He starts to fly up) Now if you don’t mind, I have some more work to do. (Looks down) Huh?
Harley: Oh I hope you don’t mind, I grabbed you while you made a crack about me being the tooth fairy. If you value your life, you’ll hold on. (In a theatre)
Drew: Where are we?
Harley: Well since I am the Ghost of Christmas Past, I’m assigned to take you to different places of your childhood past during the Christmas season. This was when you were five and your parents took you to see the stage production of The Wizard of Oz.
Drew: I remember now.
Dorothy: No matter, we’re home. Home! And I’ll never leave again and…Oh Aunt Em, there’s no place like home. (Applause)
Harley: You were inspired by the play that from then on, your dream was to become an actor. Surprisingly, you stuck to that dream all through your childhood. You would practice day after day perfecting your voice.
Younger Drew: (Singing)
If I were King of the Forest, Not queen, not duke, not prince.
My regal robes of the forest, would be satin, not cotton, not chintz.
I'd command each thing, be it fish or fowl.
With a woof and a woof and a royal growl - woof.
As I'd click my heel, all the trees would kneel.
And the mountains bow and the bulls kowtow.
And the sparrow would take wing - If I - If I - were King!
Each rabbit would show respect to me. The chipmunks genuflect to me.
Though my tail would lash, I would show compash
For every underling!
If I - If I - were King!
Just King!
Monarch of all I survey -- Mo--na-a-a--a-arch Of all I survey!
Harley: How cute!
Drew: You may not be the real Harley, but you sure act as annoying as the real one!
Harley: Oh sticks and stones! It’s a damn shame that the happy little child we see, grew into such a grumpy jerk. Oh I wonder how he got this way. Oh I have the answer in the next trip. (In a house)
Drew: Why are we at my house?
Harley: I took you back to Christmas time when you were about nine years old. Huh, you don’t look like an evil jerk here. You still look like a happy-go-lucky child.
Drew: I know this scene. We were about to go see the Wizard of Oz on stage. (Young Drew enters the kitchen and sees his mother sitting and crying) That was the day…That my father died.
Harley: (Singing)
I never got a chance to see him
Never heard nothin' but bad things about him
Momma I'm depending on you, to tell me the truth
Momma just hung her head and said, son
Papa was a rolling stone, (my son)
Where ever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died, all he left us was alone
Drew: Shut the hell up, it was nothing like that!
Harley: Your right, that was wrong of me. Anyways, you were all excited because you and your parents were going to go see The Wizard of Oz together, as it has become a family tradition to see that play every year.
Drew: I’ve seen just about enough.
Harley: Oh don’t go. We still have one more stop. There’s still another Wizard of Oz related story to see! (In the theatre at school) Here we are.
Drew: The theatre at school?
Harley: This was about two years ago, back when you were a freshmen. You guys were having an audition for The Wizard of Oz. I think I can see a strange connection here!
Young Drew: (Singing)
I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain.
And my head I'd be scratchin' while my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.
I'd unravel every riddle for any individ'le,
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts I'll be thinkin' I could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain.
Oh, I could tell you why The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thunk before.
And then I'd sit, and think some more.
I would not be just a nothin' my head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry,
If I only had a brain.
Drew: Why did I sing that scarecrow song?
Harley: Who knows? But you didn’t take it so well when the three big roles went to some of the upperclassmen and you were stuck with…
Young Drew: Why am I just a munchkin?
Solidad: I’m sorry Drew but Miss Vivian made her decision about it.
Young Drew: I can audition again.
Solidad: Drew give it up. There will be other plays. Miss Vivian said that you had an excellent voice and can see a bright future with you. It’s just that she wants you to start small and work your way up. (He starts to cry) Oh don’t cry Drew.
Young Drew: Leave me alone! (He runs off)
Harley: You see where I’m going with all of this? Don’t take it out on Christmas; take it out on the Wizard of Oz. That whole play is an abomination! There are midgets for Christ sake!
Drew: You are an idiot. (Back in the choir room) Huh? That screwball is gone! Good riddance!
Solidad: That idiot got you back late. (Drew turns around) The big guy up stairs is going to demote him to the tooth fairy position.
Drew: Solidad?
Solidad: I just look like your friend. You can call me the Ghost of Christmas Present. I’m here to show you things in the here and now.
Drew: I really have to stop eating the cafeteria food.
Solidad: Hold onto my hand Drew. (Outside a house) And we are here.
Drew: What is this place?
Solidad: It’s the party that all of your fellow thespians went to. See how happy and merry they all are! (Inside)
Erika: Oh Joshua, we’re under the mistletoe and you know what we have to do under the mistletoe.
Joshua: Um…sure thing honey!
Marcus: Little buddy! You were my gift exchange person? Oh thank you for the new pair of sunglasses.
Marisa: Thank God Ash broke those old ones. I didn’t know what the hell to get you before that happened. At least you’ll put some good use into your gift. My gift, is going to be gone by tomorrow. Kelly should have never given me a packet of pixie sticks. (Robert plays the piano)
Grace: Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
Solidad: This is all I'm asking for
Kelly: I just want to see baby
Robert: Standing right outside my door
Kelly: Oh I just want him for my own
Grace: More than you could ever know
Solidad: Make my wish come true
All: Baby all I want for Christmas is you
Robert: Oh that was fun! I missed doing this with you guys!
Kelly: We missed you too Robert!
Robert: What should I play next?
Harley: MY TURN! Out of the way Robert! (Pushes Robert away from the piano and starts singing) On the first day of Christmas my Tucker gave to me, one big carton of eggnog.
Tucker: (Annoyed) I just had to give him the eggnog. Why did I give him the eggnog? (Back outside)
Drew: Where’s May?
Solidad: Staring out that window. Somehow, she’s convinced herself that you were going to come to your senses and join the party. But after you yelled at her…
Drew: Oh May. (Back inside)
Marisa: No more eggnog for Harley! Hey May, why aren’t you out here with the rest of us? Or are you trying to get away from Harley?
May: No, I’m just a little worried. I kind of had a fight with Drew earlier.
Marisa: Oh. I take it was about the Christmas thing. Drew gets like this every year. I don’t know how anyone can be such a grinch during this time of year. Everybody else is merry and gay. Well, the merry part at least. Harley fills in for the gay part pretty well.
May: (Sighs) Oh Drew. (Back outside)
Solidad: All she wanted to do was spread a little holiday cheer to you and you just yelled at her. Why she seems so loyal to you I will never know. (They return to the choir room and Solidad disappears)
Drew: I’m back here and that means this horrible nightmare is behind me! No wait! I still have one more person coming. Huh? Why do I sense that the last one is going to be in a black cloak? (Someone puts their hand on Drew’s shoulder and he jumps) How did I see this one coming? I take it you’re the Ghost of Christmas Future. (He nods and holds out his hand) You’re wearing a white glove…it’s just like… (They leave. In an abandoned house) Where are we now? (He points to a man sitting in front of a television)
Dorothy: Oh Aunt Em, there’s no place like home. (Rewinds)
Drew: Okay this is weird. Why are you showing me of some old guy repeating lines from the Wizard of Oz? Huh? (Picks up a letter from the table) Mr. Drew Rose? You mean I’m going to grow up to be some shut in? It’s because I shut myself off from the rest of the world. It’s because I refuse to open up to anyone else. It’s because I let all my bad memories ruin what I have going on in the present. Thank you for showing me the way spirit. Huh? (Drew goes to the spirit and lifts up the hood) May? (Back in the choir room)
Oak: Drew! (He nudges him) Drew, wake up!
Drew: (Groaning) Oh May! (He opens his eyes) Huh?
Oak: Oh thank God. I thought you overdosed on some wacky drug!
Drew: Where’s May? I was just in an old house and I saw my future self and…
Oak: I spoke to soon! Son, let me check your pupils!
Drew: What the? I’m fine Principal Oak!
Oak: I’ll be the judge of that. Hmm…Well you seem fine from the outside. I guess it was just a freaky dream you had. Did you eat too much of that cafeteria food?
Drew: Probably. It was either that or a gas leak in here. Hey wait a second! What time is it?
Oak: It’s about…7:30pm.
Drew: Still Friday right? I didn’t sleep for 24 hours, did I?
Oak: It’s still Friday.
Drew: Thank God! I have time. I’ve got to go to that party and apologize to May. But wait! I can’t show up empty handed. I need to get her a gift and it can’t be anything stupid! I’ve got to go Principal Oak. See you later! (He runs out of the room)
Oak: That was…weird. (A little later at Solidad’s house)
Marisa: Pretty good night overall.
Marcus: Yeah, at least Harley is passed out so he won’t be tempted to sing another slurred Christmas song. You think we should get Grace and Kelly to stop putting make-up on him?
Marisa: Nah, I don’t think he’ll mind make-up. (Sighs)
Marcus: Now what was with that big sigh? Oh, I think I know what this is all about! You wanted to invite Tracey to the party and kiss him under the mistletoe. But you couldn’t because this is strictly a thespians only party. (She hits him)
Marisa: No you idiot and don’t ever say that in public again! I was sighing on May’s behalf. I feel so bad for her.
Marcus: Yeah, poor thing. (Harley wakes up)
Harley: (Yawns) Hey, is there any eggnog left!
Marisa: Did you get a chance to take a picture?
Marcus: Sure did. Todd will get so jealous when I show him this beauty. (May walks up)
May: I’m going home now.
Marcus: Are you sure you want to go so soon?
May: Yeah, I’m not really in the Christmas mood anymore. I’ll see you guys later. (She opens the door and hears a groan) What the…Drew?
Drew: (Nervous laugh) Surprise!
Marcus: Drew’s here? It is a Christmas Miracle!
Marisa: Let’s go Marcus!
Marcus: But I want to see what happens! (They walk away)
May: Oh, I’m sorry I hit you with the door. (Drew stares at May) What’s the matter with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.
Drew: You don’t know the half of it. It feels like I had a big out-of-body experience this evening. Oh yeah, I got you something.
May: Oh Drew. (Opens a box) It’s a locket.
Drew: Open it up.
May: It’s a picture of the two of us.
Drew: And this! (He brings out a bouquet)
May: Roses! (She blushes)
Drew: May, I want to apologize to you for snapping at you earlier. I was stupid, I was immature, I was…You know, feel free to stop me at any time.
May: No, continue.
Drew: The point is that I’m sorry I was such a jerk to you. You were just trying to spread a little Christmas cheer. Do you forgive me? (She looks at Drew and at the locket)
May: Oh Drew. (She jumps in his arms and they kiss)
Drew: May… (Back inside)
Marisa: Oh, I love a happy ending!
Marcus: Is it as happy as you kissing…
Marisa: Shut up Marcus or your ending isn’t going to be so happy!
Robert: So Drew decided to come to his senses and join the party?
Harley: How sweet!
Solidad: I knew he would.
Kelly: You knew they would?
Solidad: I just had a gut feeling that things would work out between the two of them. (May and Drew walk inside) So am I right? Have you two made up?
May: Sure did! Look what Drew got me for Christmas!
Marcus: Hey, I saw that very same locket sold at Wal-Mart.
Marisa: Marcus, shut up.
Drew: So, what do you guys do at these parties?
Erika: Make out under the mistletoe!
Marcus: Watch Harley make an ass out of himself.
Marisa: More so!
Kelly: Open presents!
Tucker: Sing Christmas carols!
Drew: Eh…I’ll go with the last idea. I’ll save the mistletoe idea for later.
Grace: Ooh! Drew, you dog!
Robert: How about this one? (Starts playing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)
All: Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you might even say it glows.
Kelly: Like a light bulb!
All: All of the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.
Erika: Like Pinocchio!
All: They never let poor Rudolph, join in any reindeer games.
Harley: LIKE STRIP POKER!
All: Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say…
Joshua: Ho, ho, ho!
Marcus: Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you ride my sleigh tonight?
All: Then how the reindeer loved him, as they shouted out with glee.
Marisa: Yipee!
All: Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, you’ll go down in history.
Drew & May: Like Beyonce and Jay-Z! (They kiss)
Narrator: Wow, talk about your total random lines! But at least it rhymed…I think!
~*Preview*~
Sakura: There's an epidemic going around school. Heart is beating fast and you're sweatier than normal. The love bug is hitting so many of us lately that it was only a matter of time before I got bit. But we have more things to worry about as there's a nasty flu virus going around. Ew, yuck! So many have caught that. Please don't make me catch it before my date! Next time on Romance 101, Chapter 28...See you next time!
Song(s) used
*If I Were King of the Forrest from the Wizard of Oz
*Papa Was a Rolling Stone by the Temptations
*If I Only Had a Brain from the Wizard of Oz
*All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey
*12 Days of Christmas
*Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer