Embedded Files
~Returning Character~
Whitney
~New Characters Introduced~
Domino, Wattson, Blaine, Luana, Jenina, Myron, and Watt
Original Date of Post: 11/30/2008
Narrator: Ah, Spring Break. Time for relaxation! A week away from school, work, and other obligations! But there are some obligations you just can’t get away from.
Marcus: I thought you said your parents were going to change the locks after you went to live in the dorms.
Marisa: Nah, Dad was just bluffing. (Opens the door)
Father: Who’s there?
Marisa: Just me. Oh, and Marcus and Tracey.
Father: Okay. (They go into her room)
Tracey: Doesn’t your father have a job?
Marcus: Yeah, it’s in the middle of the day. Doesn’t he have one of those 9 to 5 jobs?
Marisa: Mom told me he called in sick today.
Tracey: He looks fine to me.
Marcus: Do you think he's faking sick because he knew you were going to come here with us? He could be eavesdropping on our conversation as we speak.
Marisa: I don’t know and I really don’t care what my father does with his free time. (Sighs) More importantly, it’s finally Spring Break! A week away from school! It’s just what the doctor ordered!
Marcus: I’m sure all you’re thinking about is the concert at the end of the week.
Marisa: Yes. I had to wait a long time for this but I’m going to see Marilyn Manson in concert!
Tracey: Didn’t you see him in concert two years ago?
Marisa: Yes I did. And I’m happy to see him in concert again.
Tracey: It’s too bad because I don’t like Manson!
Marcus: Maybe not, but I don’t mind listening and taking advantage of a free ticket.
Marisa: (Laughing) Fifty bucks Marcus!
Marcus: What the hell? You would have let Tracey go for free.
Marisa: Tough crap! So boys, what’s the plan for the rest of the week?
Marcus: Drew’s choosing his best man and I have to be there to…
Marisa: Kiss his ass?
Marcus: Exactly!
Tracey: Well I have to go over to Brock’s this week. Apparently he’s meeting Jasmine’s family this week and he wants my advice on how to make a good first impression on the family.
Marisa: He asked you?
Tracey: He figured because I had the toughest when I had to meet your parents.
Marisa: My mother wasn’t too bad!
Tracey: I wasn’t talking about your mother. (The door opens)
Father: Hello Marisa, Marcus… (Glares at Tracey) Young man!
Marisa: Haven’t you ever heard of a courtesy knock?
Father: This is my house I don’t need to knock.
Marisa: (Silently) You just live here. Mom pays the bills.
Father: What was that?
Marisa: Was there a reason why you came in here?
Father: Yes. I remembered that you got some kind of notice in the mail and it looks like something from the government.
Marisa: What the hell? (She opens the note and reads it over) I HAVE JURY DUTY?! This week?!
Father: Oh good, that’ll give you something to do instead of sitting at home all week watching Jerry Springer like some hillbilly. (He leaves)
Marisa: (Silently) You watch it too, you hypocrite!
Tracey: I didn’t know you could qualify for Jury Duty yet?
Marisa: I heard that as soon as you’re 18, a registered voter, and have no outstanding warrants or a police record, you can qualify for it. Oh man!
Marcus: Relax little buddy. Who knows? Maybe it’ll be just a little trial. Heck, you’ll be in and out in one day. (Monday morning)
Marisa: (Thinking) In and out in one day huh? I don’t think that’s the case when I'm a juror in a freakin’ murder case! (A door opens)
Oak: Sorry I’m late!
Marisa: Principal Oak?
Oak: Well Marisa, I haven’t seen you since graduation. How have you been?
Marisa: I’ve been better.
Oak: Hold on! What on earth are you doing here?
Marisa: I am juror number six!
Oak: You’re on the jury too? Small world! So am I! I wish this were better circumstances because I had plans this week. It’s Spring Break for the public schools and this was supposed to be my week to rest up before those immature brats put me in an early grave.
Marisa: I know how you feel. (A little later at Brock’s house)
Tracey: Now first thing is you have to wear something decent and nice. A suit and tie will do the trick!
Brock: They should be at the end of the closet!
Tracey: Okay…What the hell? Don’t you have a plain-colored tie in here? All of these have such tacky designs and there’s even one with a naked lady in here.
Brock: Yeah, Dad gave that to me when I turned 16.
Tracey: You used to wear normal ones at the school dances. What happened to those?
Brock: I don’t know. I think one of my little brothers barfed on one of them.
Tracey: Okay, we can skip the tie. Next thing is to remember to bathe. You don’t want to meet Jasmine's family with you smelling like a gym sock. (The door opens)
Brock: Dad, what are you doing in here?
Flint: I thought you could use some fatherly advice on meeting Jasmine’s family. I’ll take it from here Tracey. You see son, what the old folks like is plenty of charm. Agree with everything they tell you.
Brock: In other words, lie?
Flint: It’s not lying, son. It's more like agreeing like a mindless zombie. That’s what I do when your mother’s parents come into town. You see fathers turn into monsters. It is like a blow to the face to see their sweet little girl go out with some boy. It is your job to simply say, “All I want is for her to be happy.”
Brock: You said that to Grandma and Grandpa?
Flint: Yeah…Although when I said it your mother was six months pregnant with you.
Brock: Great to know. (At Drew’s apartment)
May: Are you sure you have everything under control Drew?
Drew: Sure thing.
May: Well I’m off to pick out a perfect wedding dress.
Caroline: Just something to cover that extra baby weight.
May: MOM!
Caroline: You don’t want to look like a cow walking down the aisle! (May groans)
Drew: Well whatever you pick, I’m sure it’ll be fine.
May: Oh! Bye Sara. Mommy’s going to be back soon! (She kisses her) See you later! (They leave)
Drew: Great, no kiss for the father! (Sara closes her eyes) Now you decide to go to sleep! I wonder about you sometimes. (He puts her in the crib) Well since you’re asleep, might as well catch up too. (Sits on the rocking chair) I can do the chores… (Yawns) Later! (Knock on the door) Ugh! God damn it! (He opens the door)
Marcus: Hey buddy!
Drew: Damn it Marcus, what the hell are you doing here?
Marcus: Oh, I just came by to see how my favorite father of the year was doing.
Drew: I’m sleeping. Goodbye!
Marcus: Hey, hey, hey! Don’t be too quick with that! I could give you the rest you need. Got any chores? I could take care of your baby for a while!
Drew: You’d do that?
Marcus: Absolutely!
Drew: Marcus, have you ever taken care of a baby before? And another thing! Since when are you being all chummy to me? Last week when you were here, you made up every excuse in the book to get out of changing her diapers.
Marcus: I had another prior engagement to attend to. But you can trust me!
Drew: Fine! Here’s the diaper bag, some snacks, extra bottles of…
Marcus: Breast milk?
Drew: Yes and if you have a follow up question involving the breast milk, you’re not even going to hold her.
Marcus: Shutting up! (Sara starts crying)
Drew: Are you still up to the challenge?
Marcus: Ha! Challenge is my middle name! (They go in the other room) Sara, your Uncle Marcus is here to take care of you! (Crying louder) She’s got a pair of lungs on her!
Drew: Well, go on!
Marcus: Okay! (He picks up Sara) There, there. Don’t cry! Oh, I know what you want! (He gives her a pacifier) There we go! Nice and happy! (The phone rings)
Drew: I’ll get that. (Picks up) Hello.
May: Drew! I called to remind you to pick up the groceries.
Drew: Groceries?
May: Yes Drew! I left you a list on the fridge!
Drew: God damn it!
May: What did I tell you about cussing in front of the baby?
Drew: Sorry. And I’ll go and get the groceries…Eh? Oh and pick up the dry cleaning. I’ll see you later. (Hangs up) Damn that girl! Well so much for having a day of rest and relaxation.
Marcus: I could do all of those errands for you so you can catch up on your sleep.
Drew: Are you sure you can handle all of these errands?
Marcus: I got the baby to stop crying. Plus, would you rather I take care of the baby and do all of your errands while you catch up your sleep or have you irritable and cranky?
Drew: Well, I can’t pass up this offer. Spring Break is only for one week and I could use the extra rest. Say Marcus, I’m curious…Why are you being so nice to me like this?
Marcus: I don’t have a lot on my plate this week! Plus Marisa has Jury Duty all week so I can’t bug her. And the Main St. theatre is still under construction.
Drew: I guess there’s no harm in letting you handle things! (Back at the courthouse)
Lawyer: Now tell me in your own words, what you were doing prior to the death of your husband, Dr. Wattson?
Domino: Well…I was coming home from my night job. When I entered the house, I heard a gunshot go off and I came into his study which is where I would usually find him everyday to make sure he was okay. But when I came in the room, I didn’t see him sitting in his chair… (Tears up) …I saw him on the floor, DEAD!
Lawyer: Isn’t it a little strange that your husband died by a bullet wound from a gun that seemed to be a part of your own property? And I also find it strange that… (In the juror box)
Oak: (Thinking) I’m missing Matlock for this?
Marisa: (Thinking) I thought that a court case for a murder would be exciting as hell, but all we ever hear are the lawyers yapping! Boring!
Lawyer: I will now play some audio that was thankfully recorded by Dr. Wattson’s assistant, Watt of Dr. Wattson’s will. (Recording plays)
Wattson: I would like to thank you all for coming on such short notice today. I have updated my will and I wanted my close family and friends to get the update. As you know, I have spent my life studying the… (An hour later)
Marisa: (Thinking) What the hell? Haven’t these people heard of a fast forward button? I can’t take any more of this!
Wattson: To my dear wife, Domino and to my long-time partner at the university, Watt, I give you my entire fortune to be split evenly and to do as you see fit.
Oak: (Thinking) We sat through two hours of crap to hear that?
Judge: We will break for lunch and then the jury shall discuss the matter afterwards. (A little later at the grocery store)
Marcus: One stick of butter…Check! Next, we need diet cola for May. Hey, I’m getting the hang of all this. And best of all, Sara’s fast asleep and not making a scene. Just a couple more nice deeds and that Best Man title is as good as mine. (He walks to the front)
Whitney: Marcus?
Marcus: Whitney, you’re a check-out girl?
Whitney: It’s to pay off my credit card bills. Marcus, I didn’t realize you were a father.
Marcus: What the hell? That ain’t my kid! That’s Drew’s baby!
Whitney: (Gasp) Oh…what a darling! I always knew that Drew would have some very pretty babies. (Sara opens her eyes)
Marcus: Uh-oh! (Sara starts crying) Oh crap, there, there! (Picks her up) I’ve got you now! Don’t cry anymore! (Crying gets louder)
Whitney: Well I can see she got her mother’s mouth! (An hour later back at the courthouse)
Marisa: Ugh, the legal system sucks!
Oak: No kidding! I had other things planned for the break besides sitting on some boring trial. We all know the blonde did it. We all know that their marriage was on the rocks and she wanted that money so bad!
Marisa: Exactly! Plus, she was a stripper when they first met, I mean come on. I know I’m stereotyping her, but still…
Oak: And can you believe the clothes she was wearing?
Marisa: I know! Even Lil Kim dressed up more appropriate for her court appearances and didn’t have her butt-cheeks hanging out!
Oak: No kidding! (Both laughing) Well, at least we got out early today and we’ll start deliberating tomorrow.
Marisa: With any luck the rest of the court will agree with us and we can put an end to the stupidity.
Oak: I’ll say. (A little later at Marisa’s house)
Marisa: It's days like these where I wish I would have learned how to drive. (Opens the door) I’m home! (Baby crying) What the hell?
Marcus: Hey, you’re home!
Laura: Good, now you and that crying monster can leave!
Marcus: Don’t call her a monster! She’s the sweetest thing in the world! (Crying louder)
Marisa: What are you doing with May and Drew’s baby? Is this part of your sucking-up plan?
Marcus: Where would you get an idea like that? (Crying stops)
Laura: Wait a minute! What’s that smell? (Sniffing)
Marisa: It smells like that skunk you hit with the Volvo a couple of weeks ago!
Marcus: I think that Sarah just went number two.
Marisa: Well, what are you waiting for? Go change her!
Marcus: Okay…No problem! I’m the big man in charge! Um…Little buddy, you do it!
Marisa: You’ve got to be kidding me! Marcus, you know I’ve never changed a diaper in my life.
Marcus: What about you Laura? You have two younger brothers!
Laura: Yeah, but I never changed any of their diapers!
Marcus: Aren’t you guys going to help me out?
Marisa: You’re the one who wanted to kiss Drew's ass just so that he would pick you as his best man at the wedding. Now get in that bathroom and change her diaper! (Inside the bathroom)
Marcus: You can do it Marcus. Just keep telling yourself that you’ll be picked for best man. It’s all good! (Takes off the diaper) OH SWEET JESUS! (Outside the bathroom)
Laura: So how was this trial of yours?
Marisa: Can’t talk about it. Confidential! I can’t even tell you what I’m deliberating on.
Laura: You don’t have to! I happened to take a glance at the news this afternoon and there was video of the trial of the death of Dr. Wattson. And it just so happens I saw your happy butt sitting on that jury!
Marisa: You’re mistaking me for somebody else. You probably just saw one of my cousin’s from Dad’s side of the family.
Laura: Liar! No one else in the family lives in this state. It was you on that jury! Now give me all of the dirt! Do you think Domino is guilty?
Marisa: I’m not supposed to talk about it!
Laura: Sure you can. There are ways around that little rule.
Marisa: Laura, I’m not going to get kicked off jury duty just because of your appetite for rich people's dirty laundry. Besides, I want a clean record so that I may be picked for jury duty again. It is my job as a registered voter of this great land to do the right thing when sitting on a jury!
Laura: But just the other day, you said that sitting on jury duty was for the birds!
Marisa: Eh…Well that was then and this is now!
Laura: You are such a square!
Marisa: When I want your opinion I’ll take note.
Laura: You think we should check on Marcus?
Marisa: Nah. I think he’s gotten the hang of things since I don’t hear Sarah crying anymore. (Marcus screaming)
Marcus: (Shouting) MY SHIRT!
Laura: Wow, she aimed for the shirt. I thought only boys could do that!
Marisa: I don’t even want to know.
Marcus: Okay, clean again! After I get the title of best man, I’m going to talk to your parents to stop using cheap brands of diapers. (Looks at clock) Oh crap! I better get you back to your father. (He walks out the room) I will see you chicks later! I’ve got some more ass-kissing to do. (Back at the apartment)
Marcus: We’re back!
Drew: (Yawns) Back so soon?
Marcus: Well, we got done with the chores sooner than I thought.
Drew: Very nice work Marcus. You got the groceries, picked up the dry cleaning, and took good care of Sara. I am impressed. Now drop the act! Why are you being so damn nice to me?
Marcus: I am shocked Drew. I can’t do a few nice deeds here and there without being persecuted? Hell, I was so nice that I even changed Sara’s diaper. The smell almost knocked me out and she ended up peeing on my shirt, but I still did it because I care for my best friend in the world.
Drew: Gee Marcus; I’m sorry I accused you for being after something.
Marcus: That’s okay Drew. We all say the stupidest things when we’re being suspicious. (May walks inside)
May: Hi boys.
Drew: Find a good wedding dress?
May: Not at the bridal shop Mom took me too!
Caroline: Is it my fault that none of the dresses came in your size?
May: ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!
Caroline: No honey! What I meant to say is that if you did the exercises I showed you and if you didn’t chow down on powder donuts while you were pregnant, maybe you wouldn’t have had such a hard time losing weight.
Marcus: (Whispering) Is this going to turn ugly?
Drew: (Whispering) World War III.
Marcus: Right. I’m going to take my leave now. (He walks out the door) Note to self: Help May out tomorrow. (That night at Tracey’s house)
Tracey: This is going to be a long week! (Sighs) I think I’d have a better chance of dating Jennifer Lopez than getting Brock to behave. (Phone rings) What now? (Picks up) Hello.
Marcus: Hey dude!
Tracey: What’s up Marcus?
Marcus: What’s up with you? You sound like you just ran a marathon.
Tracey: More like dealing with a pervert and his pervert father. Getting through to Brock is going to be harder than I thought. (Phone beeps) Huh? Marisa’s trying to call me.
Marcus: Plug her through so we can have a three-way. (Beep)
Tracey: Marisa, you there?
Marisa: I’m here! How was your day Tracey?
Tracey: Hellish. Brock is so dense when it comes to women. I’m surprised Jasmine has stayed with him this long. And Brock’s father was of no help either.
Marisa: What do you expect?
Marcus: Aren’t you going to talk to me?
Marisa: Alright, you kiss-ass! Did Drew make you his best man yet?
Marcus: Nah, I’m just beginning by doing nice things. I’ll be over tomorrow helping May with something.
Tracey: Why are you trying to butter up May?
Marcus: Simple, she can put in a good word for me.
Marisa: So what is it that you’re going to do?
Marcus: Simple aerobics! So little buddy, you never told me how your trial went.
Marisa: I can’t really get into any details. Confidentiality crap! But, it’s boring as hell so far and I’m in a jury with Principal Oak.
Marcus: You do realize that this trial you’re sitting on could tamper with your chances of seeing Marilyn Manson in concert.
Marisa: Well we’re going to deliberate tomorrow and I’m pretty sure everyone else agrees with me and Samuel on the verdict. (The next morning at the courthouse)
Blaine: Guilty, guilty, guilty, and…Innocent? (All groan) Okay, I guess we’re not going anywhere any time soon.
Marisa: (Thinking) Well, this sucks!
Blaine: Now what can we all agree on? Domino was in the room with her dead husband and the gun was found nearby with her name on the gun. What more proof do you people need?
Luana: Well…I’m just not convinced that she killed him. I mean if you listened to the testimony, she said that she just came home and went into the study and found his dead body.
Blaine: Yeah but when Watt came inside, she saw Domino on the ground covered in blood with her dead husband.
Oak: (Thinking) So much for leaving here early! (A little later at May and Drew’s apartment)
Drew: Marcus, what brings you by here again?
Marcus: I thought I would help you out.
Drew: I don’t have any chores today so what’d you have in mind?
Marcus: I have a hunch that things got uglier after I left yesterday.
Drew: Ugh… (Flashback to yesterday)
May: (Growls) I can’t stand my mother sometimes! She’s always commented about my weight my whole life! Just because I’m not a size 0 like her, she’s got to comment on my appearance! Do you think I’m fat Drew?
Drew: Um…
May: Why are you hesitating? Is that an implication that I am fat? (Tears up) You do think I’m fat! You’re a jerk, Drew Rose! (End of flashback)
Drew: I’d rather not talk about it! She gets like this every time she talks to her mother.
Marcus: Mind if I intervene? I brought over a little something that could help May out. (Pulls out a tape)
Drew: She’s going to cuss you out.
Marcus: Not unless I do it with her. Plus, I’ve been doing these videos with Marisa and she’s already lost another five pounds.
Drew: Well, go ahead and give it a shot. (Picks up Sara) Come on Sara. We don’t need to be here when Mommy’s head explodes. (At Brock’s house)
Tracey: Okay. Since the dinner is tomorrow night, that doesn’t leave us a lot of time to prepare you. So I’ve come up with an idea to make you learn to act like a perfect gentleman.
Brock: Will you tell me why you put pieces of duck tape all over my body.
Tracey: It’s simple. Every time you do or say something stupid, we shall pull one piece off of your body.
Flint: Like peeling a band-aid off the hairiest part of your body!
Brock: This won’t end well!
Flint: Role-play time! I’ll be Jasmine’s father and Tracey can be Jasmine.
Tracey: Why do I have to be Jasmine?
Flint: Because I have more experience as a father.
Brock: You know… (Giggles) I can’t get into the role if Jasmine looks like...that.
Flint: You’re right. Brock, go get one of your mother’s sundresses. (A little later at the courthouse)
Blaine: Okay, things are getting ridiculous. We are now at a tie where six are saying she’s guilty and six saying innocent.
Marisa: Can we open a window here? I'm sweating like a whore in church!
Blaine: Fine.
Oak: (Whispering) Okay, here’s the plan! I fake a heart attack, you take me out to safety, and we’ll get the hell out of here.
Marisa: (Whispering) Are you nuts? We can’t do this. (Oak groaning)
Blaine: Are you okay?
Oak: It’s my heart!
Blaine: Do you want us to call an ambulance?
Oak: No… (Groaning) That won’t be necessary! Marisa… (Groaning) I need your help in the bathroom.
Marisa: I better go and help him. (They leave the room)
Oak: Ha, way to fool those suckers!
Marisa: I can’t believe you got me into this mess!
Oak: Yeah, but you’re out of that hot, boring courtroom.
Marisa: I never knew how much jury duty sucked.
Oak: Well this isn’t the first time I had to fake a heart attack to get out of jury duty.
Marisa: So where do we go now?
Oak: Out that window!
Marisa: Well that’s very convenient. (A throat clears) Um, Principal Oak…
Oak: Yes. (Turns around) Huh?
Bailiff: What in God’s name are you two doing?
Oak: Getting some fresh air?
Marisa: (Sighing) So much for the great escape. (Back at Brock’s house)
Brock: (Giggles) You are the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen!
Tracey: I hate you guys so much.
Flint: You had it coming, boy. Tracey is a girl’s name.
Brock: It wouldn’t kill you to shave your legs, you know. (Tracey pulls a piece of tape off of Brock) OW!
Tracey: If you know what’s good for you, you’ll shut the hell up!
Flint: Let’s go on with the scene.
Tracey: Right. (Clears throat) Daddy, this is my boyfriend, Brock.
Brock: Hi, it’s very nice to meet you. (Flint pulls a piece of tape off) OW! What was that for?
Flint: Don’t speak unless spoken to. Wait for the father or mother to say something. Now let’s try it again. Very nice to meet you Brock! I’m Jasmine’s father. Hmm… (Pulls a piece of tape off)
Brock: OW! What was that for?
Flint: You’re supposed to look at me in the eye. (Brock groans) Remember Brock, this is for your own good. (Back at May and Drew’s apartment)
Marcus: Just five more squat-thrusts and we’ll take a break.
May: Okay! (The door opens)
Drew: (Thinking) Wow, he actually got her to exercise!
Marcus: And rest. (May sighs) Feel better?
May: Very. Thanks Marcus. Oh, hi Drew! (She leaves the room)
Marcus: What’s up, man?
Drew: So you actually got May to exercise?
Marcus: Well yeah. She told me that she never gets a chance to do so because she’s too busy taking care of Sara, doing all of the chores around the apartment, and doing her paying job over the phone.
Drew: Well in any case, I appreciate you for helping May out like that. Now if you wouldn’t mind getting out of your spandex gear? It’s creeping me out.
Marcus: Hey, this outfit is quite comfortable. I feel like I can just let everything hang out.
Drew: (Groans) But seriously Marcus, thank you for all that you’re doing for me and my family.
Marcus: Eh, don’t mention it. I’m just doing friendly deeds here and there, that’s all. (At Brock’s house)
Flint: Boy, you have one piece of tape left on your body. Now which fork do you use when eating a salad?
Brock: Um…
Tracey: Come on Brock, I want to get out of this dress sometime before the next century.
Brock: Um…Ugh… (Phone rings) OH THANK GOD! (All groan) Time out! Hello.
Jasmine: Hi Brock. Just wanted to call you to make sure you’re still coming over tomorrow night.
Brock: Oh Jasmine, you have no idea how happy I am that you called.
Jasmine: Why is that?
Brock: Long story. So do you need me to bring anything to the house? Food perhaps?
Jasmine: Oh, no. We’re fine. All you need to do is come and to just be yourself. My family is pretty down to earth.
Brock: Down to earth, you say? That’s…very comforting to know. I’ll see you tomorrow. (Hangs up)
Flint: Down to earth, she says? Oh man, your mother said the same thing to me. It almost ended up with me being threatened by a shotgun. (Brock groans)
Brock: Oh man, why did you tell me that?
Flint: But, I have a theory. Maybe if there’s a way to keep you from saying the wrong thing at dinner tomorrow, it might not go so bad for you.
Brock: I’m not following you.
Flint: Well, I have this old equipment in the basement where if you wear this microphone, we can hear everything you say. And we can be on the other end giving you feedback.
Brock: You actually have one of those?
Flint: Sure thing. I just need help hooking that bad boy up to the car. Tracey…I need your help with this one. But first things first…Tracey, get out of that dress or Lola is going to kill me. Next lesson is how to make a convincing lie to the parents.
Narrator: Yes and things weren’t going so well back at the courthouse either. Luckily, Marisa and Samuel didn’t get in too much trouble as the bailiff let them off with a warning. The jurors were there until damn near 8:00pm that night and still haven’t reached a decision. How hard is it to convict a gold-digging whore in this country? The next day, Marcus hung out with Drew…No word yet on who the best Man is. Marisa and Samuel were still suffering through that piece of crap trial…and by the end of the day, there was still no decision. Now, it’s Wednesday night! Time to see how Brock’s family meeting goes!
Brock: Do I look okay to you?
Tracey: You look fine.
Flint: Yes, now don’t be late. They’ll start to think you stood her up.
Brock: What about the cologne I’m wearing? Did I put on too much?
Tracey: You’re fine!
Brock: Is my breath fine?
Flint: YES GOD DAMN IT! GET IN THERE!
Tracey: Remember, we’ll be listening in and we’ll be giving you helpful tips.
Flint: So get in there already. Good luck! (They go in the car) Now we just turn this button on and we’re ready to roll.
Brock: This is it. (Doorbell rings) Maybe this was a bad idea. I should just… (The door opens) Uh…
Jenina: Yes?
Brock: Um, hi. I was wondering if there’s a girl named Jasmine who lives here.
Jenina: That’s my big sister. (Gasp) You must be Brock!
Brock: Um, yeah…that’s me!
Jenina: You’re cuter than I thought. Hey, do you want to be my boyfriend?
Jasmine: Jenina! What are you doing?
Jenina: Oh, nothing sis.
Jasmine: Hi Brock, come on in. Don’t mind my little sister, Jenina! I told you before that if you were going to stay for dinner that you were going to behave.
Jenina: Sorry Jasmine.
Jasmine: Grandpa, Brock is here.
Myron: He is? Oh, let me get a good look at him.
Brock: (Thinking) This is it Brock, old boy. You’ve made it this far without passing out or saying anything you’ll regret. You can do this. (He enters the room)
Jasmine: Grandpa, this is my boyfriend, Brock. Brock, this is my grandfather, Myron.
Myron: It’s a pleasure to meet you Brock. (In the car)
Flint: Okay son. Just firmly shake his hand and look him in the eye. (In the house)
Myron: Brock, would you like something to drink?
Brock: Um…water would be nice.
Myron: Okay, no problem. I’ll be right back. (He leaves the room)
Brock: Jasmine, is this your whole family?
Jasmine: Yeah. I only live with my grandfather and little sister. I thought I told you, my parents died a couple of years ago. So, it’s just been me, Jenina, and Grandpa all this time!
Jenina: Hey Jasmine, if you die, can I have Brock to myself?
Jasmine: Jenina, that’s a horrible thing to say!
Jenina: Oh, sorry. Can I have Brock to myself, please? (Myron walks in the room)
Myron: Here’s your water Brock. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go check on the burgers.
Brock: Burgers?
Jasmine: You’ll love his burgers! I’m so glad that I’ve regained my appetite so I can enjoy Grandpa's cooking again.
Brock: Glad to hear that! (A little later at the dinner table)
Myron: So tell me Brock, what are you studying in school?
Brock: Well, I’m studying up…to be…a doctor.
Myron: A doctor, really?
Jasmine: A doctor?
Jenina: (Sighs) A doctor!
Myron: What kind of doctor?
Brock: Oh, um…gyno…people doctor. Yeah, just that!
Myron: Sounds pretty hard. I was wondering if you’ve gotten a chance to work on a cadaver yet.
Brock: Not yet.
Myron: Well Brock, it’s nice to see that Jasmine has found herself a nice boy. This is the happiest I’ve seen her in so many years. (In the car)
Flint: Now say it Brock. I care for Jasmine with all my heart and… (Phone rings) Huh? Hello. Hey sweet cheeks! (In the house)
Brock: Wait until I get home so I may whip out the “Master in Commander.”
Jasmine: What the… (Jenina blushes)
Myron: My word!
Brock: (Gasp) I didn’t mean that! (In the car)
Tracey: You’re still on the air.
Flint: What? I’ll call you back Lola. (Hangs up) Come in Brock! Come in Brock!
Myron: What on earth were you…
Brock: I’m sorry. It’s just that…I have this…very uncontrollable twitch. Sometimes I say things I really don’t mean and I can’t control some of the things I say.
Myron: You don’t...say.
Jasmine: Brock, are you okay?
Brock: Yeah, I’m fine. I just need…to go to the bathroom. If you’ll excuse me! (In the bathroom)
Flint: I’m so sorry I said that over the intercom.
Brock: Thanks to you I just screwed up my whole chance of trying to get along with her family.
Flint: I’m sorry. But before you repeated what I said, things were going great.
Brock: What, by lying? You know what, screw this. I’m going to be myself.
Flint: Whoa, think about this for a second. If he hears about your real self, he’ll probably force Jasmine to not see or speak to you again.
Brock: That’s a risk I’m willing to take. (He takes off the ear piece)
Flint: Brock, come in. Come in! Damn it. He’s going to screw it up even worse! (In the living room)
Brock: Excuse me everyone, I have something that I want to say.
Jasmine: Brock, what the hell is going on with you?
Brock: Look. I have to come clean on something. I’ve been getting help from my best friend and my father on how to act when it came to meeting your family. I was going through this extreme makeover to be something I’m not. I’m not going into medical school and I never once called your granddaughter “sweet cheeks.” Okay, that’s not me. I’m Brock Harrison. I like to cook, clean, and watch trashy reality shows.
Jasmine: I told you to just be yourself, you dummy!
Myron: Well I am shocked, but not surprised. I know how intimidating it is to meet the family of the girl you’re dating. Trust me, all men go through with it. But I like the real you even more. You’re just like me.
Brock: Really?
Jasmine: He really loves those trashy shows on VH1!
Myron: And you say you like to cook! Well, I’ve been trying to work on this roasted duck recipe…
Brock: I have several recipes you might consider using. I keep a little list handy.
Myron: Ha! Excellent! Pop by tomorrow and you can give me a few pointers. (Jenina walks in)
Jenina: Brock, you forgot your wire thingy!
Myron: You’re not working for the government, are you?
Brock: It’s a long story. (Back at the courthouse)
Oak: What a day!
Marisa: This trial is such a pain in the neck. Spring Break is almost over and I have done nothing but deliberate on whether a gold-digger is innocent or not.
Oak: I know the feeling. (Horn honking) Huh? (Car drives past them)
Marisa: WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING, ASSHOLE!
Oak: Hmm, nice red corvette. Hey wait a second! Haven’t we’ve seen that car somewhere before?
Marisa: Besides the Prince video?
Oak: Every time the news covered this story, I remember seeing that car in the background of the reporter. I think that belongs to what’s-his-name!
Marisa: You mean the assistant, Watt? Maybe there’s something to this. He’s been pretty vague about what he saw when he was up on the stand. Ugh! It’s too late to think of these things now.
Oak: Come on. I’ll give you a ride home. (The next afternoon at the courthouse)
Blaine: Okay folks, we have obtained some security tapes around the perimeter on the night of the murder. Now since SOME of you are a little unsure if Domino even did the crime, we’ll look through some of these tapes to see if we can find anything suspicious.
Luana: How were you able to get those tapes?
Blaine: Dr. Wattson lived in a gated community and they set up surveillance cameras near the front of every home. I just wish there were cameras inside the premises. (Plays video) Okay, let’s fast forward to 7:55pm. This has to be a couple of minutes before Domino said she discovered the body. Hmm…okay, let’s resume.
Oak: (Whispering) There’s that car again.
Marisa: (Whispering) Watt’s car! (Thinking) He was on another floor during the shooting. Could it be that… (Gunshot) Huh?
Blaine: At least we can hear the gunshot. Let’s fast forward.
Marisa: Stop the tape!
Blaine: Huh?
Marisa: Hey, Domino is coming out of that car that just pulled up.
Luana: And it was after the gunshot.
Blaine: So that means Domino couldn’t have shot her husband.
Oak: It was Watt, the assistant. He was the only one in the house during the time of the shooting.
Luana: But he said he was on the third floor and the shooting took place on the first floor.
Marisa: He could have lied about all that. Watt figured that if he used Domino’s gun, we would blame Domino since she’s a walking target and a usual suspect. I only wish we were able to figure this out three days ago.
Blaine: Too late to change the past. Excuse me for a moment. (He leaves the room)
Marisa: Does this mean we get to leave and never come back?
Oak: I hope so. It’s already Thursday afternoon and Spring Break is almost over. I should have been spending the time resting up before I go back to the school.
Marisa: Well I just want this to be over with so I can go to the concert in peace.
Oak: Concert? (Blaine enters the room)
Blaine: Okay, I let the judge know that we have reached an agreement about Domino, but we have to show up tomorrow for one last vote.
Marisa: What? We cleared up Domino! Why can’t there be another jury for Watt?
Blaine: Sorry, that’s how the system works.
Marisa: (Whispering) Yeah, well screw the system.
Oak: Tell me about it.
Blaine: Get some rest people. We have a long day tomorrow. (That night at Marisa’s house)
Marisa: Damn it Marcus, I cannot go through with this trial anymore. It flat sucks!
Marcus: The concert is tomorrow. You think you can get out in time?
Marisa: Just wait outside the courtroom tomorrow. I don’t know when I’ll get out, but hopefully it’ll be before 7:00pm.
Marcus: They can’t possibly have you guys stay so late on a Friday night!
Marisa: We’ve had to spend long nights on this crap. I wouldn’t be surprised. And seeing as we’re this close to a conclusion, I think they want this crap to end as soon as possible.
Marcus: You still haven’t told me what you’ve been deliberating on.
Marisa: And you never will. By the way Marcus, how’s the sucking-up going?
Marcus: Tomorrow, I lay it on him.
Marisa: You’ve been going to his place every day this week and you haven’t asked him who is going to be best man? My God, Marcus!
Marcus: These things take time. Look, I’ll be at the courthouse at 6:00pm. Just fake a heart attack or something and get out of there.
Marisa: Samuel already tried that. It didn’t work. I’ll see you tomorrow. (The next day at the courthouse)
Lawyer: So tell me Watt. What were you doing at the Wattson household at 7:55pm on the night of the murder?
Watt: As I told you before, I was helping him with some paper work. I went upstairs to use the copier and when I returned moments later, I saw Domino covered in Dr. Wattson’s blood.
Lawyer: Interesting story sir. But we have obtained video footage from outside the house. In the tape, the gunshot was heard at 7:55pm. But at that time, Domino’s car was no where in the vicinity for another three minutes. Your car was the only one there! How do you explain that?
Marisa: (Thinking) Check and mate! (A little later at Drew’s apartment)
Drew: There we go. Nice and clean. (May walks out)
May: What do you think of the dress?
Drew: Oh wow…is it my birthday?
May: Since I’ve been doing those exercises, I’ve been able to lose some of that extra belly fat. I’m now able to fit into one of my old dresses.
Drew: How nice! (Knock on the door) Marcus, what a surprise!
Marcus: Just thought my favorite buddy in the world would like a special treat. I spent the night baking you this cake.
Drew: Really? Then why is the cake in a box from Baskin Robin's?
Marcus: Okay, I bought it on a cheap!
May: Damn it! Why did you bring cake?
Marcus: Its one of those low-calorie cakes.
May: Okay! (She takes the box)
Drew: (Sighs) She’ll be happy now, but not when she regains that weight back.
Marcus: I’m sure she’s got great control over her urges. Hey May, were you able to find yourself a wedding dress yet?
May: Huh? Oh yeah. I found a nice one.
Marcus: Did you find a tuxedo Drew?
Drew: Not yet. I’m taking things one step at a time.
Marcus: Well let’s make a list of things you need before you tie the knot. There’s the bachelor party, the number of people you want to invite, um…choosing a best man…
Drew: I’m not having any bachelor party, I’ve already sent out the invitations, and I’ve already picked my best man!
Marcus: Really? Who is it?
Drew: Honestly, it was kind of a tough decision and I didn’t want to give Joshua the honor of being both Godfather and Best man! So I picked Brock.
Marcus: Why Drew, I’m so surprised you would consider…Huh? Did you say Brock?
Drew: Yeah. It’s only because I’ve known him and Ash the longest of all my friends. And between the two of them, Brock is the better candidate.
May: Don’t lie Drew. We picked names from a hat.
Marcus: Oh great, the way they pick the Pope.
May: Well actually, Sara pulled a name from each hat deciding who would be Drew’s best man and who would be my maid of honor.
Drew: And it was decided that Brock would be my best man and Misty would be maid of honor!
Marcus: Thanks a lot Sara. And after I changed your crappy diapers! Well, this stinks! (Sniffing)
May: Um Drew, isn’t it your turn to change her diapers?
Drew: Hey, I was up all night with her. Marcus, do you want to do the honors?
Marcus: Hey, you’re the parents! Take care of your own kid! (He walks away) And by the way, I lied about the cake being low-calorie! (Later at the courthouse)
Marisa: (Thinking) Okay, its 2:00pm now. If I play my cards right and we all vote guilty for this guy, then we can be out early and I can leave and get ready for the concert.
Blaine: Innocent, innocent, innocent, and guilty. Great, that’s 11-1 in favor of Domino's innocence. What went wrong here?
Luana: Well now that you think about it, Domino could have shot her husband.
Marisa: Excuse me? Alright, that’s it! You know, you are pretty unbelievable lady! You didn’t think that Domino was guilty and now you’re flipping your answer?!
Luana: I’m just not sure.
Marisa: Can we make it so her vote doesn’t count?
Blaine: No. Everyone’s vote has to count and we all have to come to an agreement…no matter if we have to spend all night deliberating.
Marisa: (Thinking) Not if I can help it. (Several hours later)
Oak: (Sighs) I can’t believe I wasted a whole free week off for this crap.
Marisa: (Thinking) This bitch is going to make me have a heart attack at the age of 18!
Blaine: We’ve got it! Twelve to zero!
Oak: (Thinking) Finally! Luana finally made up her freakin’ mind.
Marisa: Finally. Does this mean we’re free? It’s 6:00pm.
Blaine: We have to go into the courtroom and read the results. After the results are read, court will be adjourned.
Oak: Will we be called again?
Blaine: Most likely there will be more trials ahead for Watt, but it’ll be decided by a different jury.
Marisa: Well let’s go, let’s go! Read the damn decision so that we can get out of here! (A few minutes later in the courtroom)
Judge: Has the jury reached a verdict?
Blaine: Yes we have your honor. We the jury find the defendant, Domino Wattson not guilty of first-degree murder.
Marisa: (Thinking) Come on…Come on…
Judge: We shall reconvene at another location with a new jury to deliberate the trial for Professor Watt. Court is adjourned. (Bangs gavel)
Marisa: Hallelujah!
Oak: I’m out of here! (They run out the courtroom)
Marisa: Oh man…I didn’t realize that the media was going to be all up in here. (Talking all at once) No comment!
Oak: Can’t talk about it! (Indistinct talking) Come on, to the parking lot! (They run out the front entrance)
Marcus: There you are!
Marisa: We are free!
Marcus: And late! The concert starts soon. It’s a good thing I stopped by your house to get your Marilyn Manson shirt.
Marisa: Oh, you know me too well.
Oak: Marilyn Manson? I didn’t know you were into him.
Marisa: Yeah, he’s one of my favorite rockers.
Oak: I love his music.
Marcus: Well, I’ve heard just about everything!
Marisa: Since when?
Oak: Oh, Gary had some of his music when he was going through his “teen angst” period and somehow I got into some of his songs and before you knew it, I was hooked.
Marisa: Unbe-freakin-lievable!
Marcus: You could come with us. They’ll still have tickets up to buy.
Oak: Really?
Marcus: Yeah, it’s standing room only so there are no assigned seating.
Oak: Well this’ll be my only excitement for the whole week, but I’ll take it. (They get in the car and drive away).
Marisa: Do you think it’s strange that we’re going to a heavy metal concert with our old principal from high school?
Marcus: Not as strange as losing the title of best man to a pervert!
Marisa: Ha! Brock is going to be best man? (Laughing) After all the crap you’ve done?
Marcus: Yeah well Misty’s going to be the maid of honor!
Marisa: What, May picked Misty over me? After all I’ve done for that chubby brat!
Marcus: I thought you were going to respect her decision.
Marisa: Well I guess I should be thankful that she picked someone decent like Misty and not someone like…Erika!
Oak: She’s not going to sing Jennifer Hudson again is she?
Marisa: Who knows? (Later at the concert)
Marcus: So you guys win for crappiest week ever I suppose!
Oak: You don’t even know the half of it!
Marisa: I so wanted to bitch-slap that Luana for driving me nuts throughout the whole thing.
Oak: I wanted to strangle Blaine, but then I’d get in trouble and end up in a trial.
Marisa: I know the feeling. (Lights go up)
Marcus: Here we go! (Marisa screaming hysterically)
Oak: Whoa!
Marcus: Yeah, she’s a pretty big fan. (Music starts)
Manson:
The drugs they say make us feel so hollow
We love in vain narcissistic and so shallow
The cops and queers to swim you have to swallow
Hate today, no love for tomorrow
We're all stars now in the dope show
We're all stars now in the dope show
There's a lot of pretty, pretty ones
That want to get you high
But all the pretty, pretty ones
Will leave you low and blow your mind
~*Preview*~
Brianna: Oh happy day! Our school is throwing a Renaissance fair to help pay for the repairs desperately needed for our beloved theatre. We are reunited with old friends and we might even see the rekindling of an old relationship. Or quite possibly a new relationship is in the works! Next time on Romance 102, Chapter Eleven…See you next time!
Song(s) used:
*The Dope Show by Marilyn Manson
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