Original Date of Post: 03/30/2008
Narrator: Nothing like the last few weeks of school where all of the major events happen like Prom and Graduation. But of course, this is also the time for some final performances. Now, we take a peek into the rehearsals of our little thespians to see how they’re doing with their concert.
Marisa: I’m going to ask you again, are you sure you two want to sing that song for the final concert?
Harley: Of course!
Marisa: I’m not going to stop you and neither is Miss Vivian, but not that many people are liking the idea of two boys singing a song that is meant for two girls.
Tucker: I told him but he didn’t want to listen.
Harley: I want my Tucker to leave this school with a bang.
Marisa: Yes, as I am well aware, Tucker is graduating in a couple of weeks. (Erika runs up to everyone)
Erika: THE YEARBOOKS ARE HERE!
Harley: Goodie!
Marisa: We’ll have time to look at the yearbooks later! Now let’s get back to work!
Harley: There we are! There’s a whole page dedicated to the theatre!
Kelly: And look at this! Front and center! May and Drew kissing on stage! Oh, they look so cute in that picture!
Erika: It should have been me and Joshua in the front and center shot! (The book is snatched and slammed shut)
Marisa: HEY! There’ll be time for yearbooks later. Right now, we have a rehearsal to do and you guys need to practice for the concert. NOW GET IN YOUR PLACES AND QUIET BACK STAGE! (They all run backstage) I love my job! (After rehearsals)
Harley: Oh, we’re going to be the best act of the concert! (Tucker sighs) Hey, you’ve been moping around for the last few days. What gives? You’re graduating in a couple of weeks and going to Pallet University in the fall. What could be bringing you down?
Tucker: I know it should be a happy time for me.
Harley: And the best part is that we will still see each other while you’re in college and I’m finishing things up here.
Tucker: I got accepted into Sandgem University.
Harley: Oh…That school is hard to get into.
Tucker: I know, but I visited the campus last summer and it has everything I could possibly want with my major.
Harley: It’s far away from here.
Tucker: I know. (Harley tears up) Oh Harley, don’t start crying.
Harley: (Sniffs) I’m not crying.
Tucker: Just because I’m going to a far-off university doesn’t mean that we have to break up. You know, you’ll be in high school for one more year and then you can join me in college.
Harley: So, you’re not going to go to Pallet University?
Tucker: I’ve made up my mind and I’m going to Sandgem. (Harley stands up) Where are you going?
Harley: None of your business!
Tucker: But Harley…
Harley: I’d like to be alone right now. (Starts crying) Excuse me, I have something in my eye! (Runs off)
Tucker: Oh Harley. (Outside in the courtyard)
May: Oh wow! This school’s yearbook is a lot better than my old school’s. (Drew growls) Ooh, look at the sports section!
Drew: (Clears throat) May!
May: And look at this, Ash took a great picture! (Drew growls)
Drew: May!
May: And look at your picture!
Drew: MAY!!!
May: You don’t have to shout, I’m sitting right here! What are you yelling about?
Drew: Don’t you think we should practice a little more?
May: Practice? Drew, we just came from rehearsals. I think we have our song down so there’s no need to worry.
Drew: I’m not worried, it’s just that a little more practice never hurt anybody.
May: For Christ sake Drew, we’ve been singing this song almost everyday of this school year. I think I know the song inside-out and so do you. Oh that’s right, I forgot that you are such a perfectionist and that everything has to be perfect for you!
Drew: Well I can’t help it that your singing has been off for the last few weeks. And another thing, you’re supposed to be cutting down on the chocolate so that your voice is perfect. But I saw you wolf down three Snicker bars during lunch. (She gets up)
May: You’re such a jerk! (Walks away) Stubborn old mule! (The next day during lunch)
Marcus: Little buddy!
Marisa: What do you want?
Marcus: Nothing at all. It’s just that I heard through the grapevine that a certain someone was put in charge of making the program.
Marisa: What’s your point?
Marcus: So you’ll know who goes on first and second and…Just give me the list and tell me when Joshua and I will be going up!
Marisa: Persistent little thing, aren’t you! (She gives him a piece of paper)
Marcus: Let me see! Hmm…We’re on third? Surely a classic song from The Producers should get an opener or even a closer. I would even settle for being second to last! But third is like going on after the tuba player in a band concert.
Marisa: You’re an idiot! And sorry, the list is finalized! Solidad is singing first and May and Drew are the closers. (Sakura takes the list)
Sakura: Wow, this is one line-up of singers! Huh? Harley and Tucker are singing what?
Marisa: I know!
Sakura: But that’s a song meant for two women, not men!
Marisa: I don’t care anymore. They’re feminine enough to pull it off and have the voices on top of which.
Ash: Yeah, I got a question for you! Are there any romantic songs on this line-up?
Marisa: What’s it to you?
Ash: I’m planning a romantic evening. (Misty happily sighs) It’s for Principal Oak and my mother. (Misty groans)
Sakura: Why are you doing that?
Ash: Well you see, Principal Oak is begging me to find some sort of event that the two of them can go to together that’s cheap, and so he can pop the question!
Misty: You mean he’s going to ask your mother to marry him?
Marisa: And he’s going to ask during a school function? How cheap can you get?
Ash: Well it was either that or it was going to be at a baseball game. But you know, sport games can kind of get out of hand when Lt. Surge is coaching.
Marisa: Oh yeah! I can’t believe that man is still employed here after all of the fights he’s started. Well, the closing song should bring your mom to say “I do” so I can guarantee that they’ll be engaged like that.
May: Forget it! I’m not singing with him anymore! (All gasp)
Marisa: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE NOT SINGING ANYMORE?!
May: I had a fight with Drew. I’ve had it up to here with his arrogance!
Marcus: Cut the boy some slack. He just wants everything to be perfect. You should be used to his arrogance by now.
May: Yeah well, we got into an argument after school and then over the phone last night.
Marisa: I don’t care if Drew cheated on you with Harley; you’re going to sing in the concert with him, even if it kills you. No one is going to back out! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? (Tracey puts his hand on her shoulder)
Tracey: Whoa, take it easy! (Marisa inhales and exhales)
Marisa: (Happily) You’re right Tracey! I’m sorry for that little outburst!
Marcus: Thank God for Tracey! (In Scott’s office)
Scott: Well let me start off by saying congratulations for getting into Sandgem.
Tucker: Thank you.
Scott: But it’s understandable to feel weird about going to a school that is far away from home.
Tucker: So do you think I should go to Sandgem instead of Pallet?
Scott: Well if I were in your shoes, I would go to Sandgem! But, it is your decision and you have to make your own choices. Which school can meet your needs? Academic wise of course!
Tucker: I’m actually comfortable with moving to a new place and making the transition from high school to college. It’s actually some of the people in my life that I’m going to miss when I leave.
Scott: I see. Well, most people who go off to college meet the most extraordinary people and become fast friends. College is also the place where people end up meeting the love of their lives. You never know!
Tucker: That’s what I’m having difficulty with. I’d be leaving Harley behind.
Scott: Oh! Well, if it’s about long-distant relationships, I really can’t help you with that. Not really my field! All I can tell you is that it’s different with some couples.
Tucker: So I guess it’s the wait and see process. I was afraid of that. (Later at rehearsals)
Miss Vivian: Love the line-up! You’re doing great work Marisa! So, are you going to rehearse your lines for the concert?
Marisa: I’ve got the lines down and the dress I’ll be wearing all ready. (Solidad runs up)
Solidad: Miss Vivian!
Miss Vivian: What’s the matter dear?
Solidad: It’s May! We’re ready to start the rehearsal but she’s no where to be found.
Miss Vivian: It’s not like her to skip out on rehearsals. Do you think she got ill?
Marisa: Not on my watch!
Solidad: And Harley’s not here either!
Marisa: May and Harley? Something doesn’t seem right about this.
Miss Vivian: In any rate, their songs aren’t on until the very end. Let’s just wait and see until that time comes. (Marisa sighs) Come on, let’s begin! Solidad, you’re the first one.
Solidad: I’m the opening act? (In the classroom after Solidad’s song)
Joshua: I wonder where May and Harley can be? Rehearsals just started and both of them aren't even here yet? Do you have any idea Tucker?
Tucker: (Thinking) He must still be mad at me. (Aloud) Not at all! (The door opens)
Solidad: Drew, I want to speak to you! (Drew walks over) What the hell is your problem?
Drew: What’s this about?
Solidad: I saw the way you were criticizing May yesterday.
Drew: Geez, you’re worse than Marisa!
Solidad: I’m serious Drew. I heard what you said to May. She’s trying just as hard as you are to make this a great performance.
Drew: Yeah well there’s a big difference between trying and doing!
Solidad: All I can say is that May has the patience of a saint to deal with you! (Outside in the courtyard)
May: I can’t believe that boy sometimes! He pisses me off so much…And yet…Why do I still care for him? (Harley walks up) What are you doing here? Don’t tell me Marisa sent you out here to look for me!
Harley: No one sent me out here! I was actually on my way to rehearsals. (He sits down) So, what’s the deal shorty? (May scoffs) Let me guess, you’re having boyfriend troubles. Drew’s giving you a hard time, isn’t he?
May: It’s none of your concern! If I tell you, you’ll probably blab to the entire school and make the whole matter worse!
Harley: Well, if it makes a difference, I’m kind of in the same boat as you kiddo! My relationship is on the rocks at the moment. Tucker just got accepted into Sandgem University. I know I should be happy for him, but he’s going to go so far away. I just wish he could dump Sandgem and go to Pallet University like I want him to.
May: You can’t just expect someone to do something like that. And Drew should know the same thing, but he doesn’t! Arrogant jerk!
Harley: Such hostile words! That must have been some ugly fight!
May: Ugh…It was more of a silly argument that kind of went out of control.
Harley: Hmm…I know what this is about! Drew was probably a little hard on you because of the final concert and everything. We all know what a perfectionist he is and it’s just his way to look professional on stage. (Harley stands up) Come on, I bet everybody is worried about us! (Back at the theatre)
Tucker: There you guys are!
Solidad: We were worried about you two! Is everything okay?
Harley: Super! The two of us just had some last minute things to do before coming here!
Solidad: Alright! Just so you know, Marisa is kind of on edge. We covered for you two this time, but there’s no guarantee for the future.
May: We’ve got it! (Drew glares at her) Hmph! (May walks away)
Drew: Wait a second!
May: Now what?
Drew: …Did you stop eating the candy bars like I told you?
May: Piss off! (She continues walking)
Harley: Ouch! Glad I’m not you!
Narrator: A little later, it was May and Drew’s turn to rehearse on stage. Their song went over nicely and May even gave up a kiss for Drew like it goes in the scene. But once Miss Vivian had her back turned, May slapped Drew in the face and walked off stage. As May walked away, everybody got concerned that their once somewhat perfect relationship was going down the tubes. After rehearsals, the matter only got worse!
Drew: I can’t help it that you’re not serious about your work! But if you’re working with me, I demand perfection!
May: Well you know how the saying goes, “Take me or leave me.”
Drew: So what are you saying? Are you trying to break up with me?
May: Gee, for an honors student, you’re a real idiot!
Drew: Then fine! We’re through!
May: Fine!
Drew: Fine!
Narrator: As they walked off, Drew started to get immediate second thoughts into what he just did, but he did nothing. May on the other hand started crying and ran far away from there. It was the next morning and Principal Oak asked to speak to May in his office.
Oak: Take a seat May.
May: Am I in trouble?
Oak: Not at all! I’m just a little concerned! Well, according to Ash and Marisa, you and Drew are singing the final song of the concert, and that song happens to be a very romantic song.
May: Well romantic when it comes to the play Guys & Dolls!
Oak: At any rate, I was hoping to propose to my girlfriend that night.
May: So why are you telling me this?
Oak: Well, a little birdie told me that you were thinking of dropping out of the concert.
May: (Sighs) Marisa is so persistent.
Oak: I know it is tough being a teenager and so much can happen. But I wish you would reconsider going through with the concert. (Miss Vivian comes in)
Miss Vivian: Please May.
May: You too?
Miss Vivian: You wouldn’t want to let down all of your other friends who have been working on their pieces for so long. You wouldn’t want to devastate them would you?
May: No I wouldn’t! I’ll stay and sing with Drew!
Miss Vivian: Thank you May! (Near the lockers)
Sakura: They did what?
Marisa: They broke up.
Misty: That’s terrible and all over some silly argument!
Marisa: That’s what I heard from Solidad.
Brock: Poor May.
Ash: But she and Drew are still going to sing at the concert, right?
Marisa: Well, I had Principal Oak and Miss Vivian talk to her this morning so there might be a good chance that they’ll still sing. (May walks up)
All: Good morning May!
May: You win Marisa! I’ll sing with Drew! But after the concert, that’s it!
Marisa: That’s all I ask! I wrote all of my material already and memorized it! I’m not changing a damn thing because you and Drew are having severe mood swings.
May: I understand. (Sighs) I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. I’ll see you guys later!
Narrator: Yeah, it does look like May and Drew are finished as a couple. But because of their fight, they tried not to let that affect their performance on stage. Besides singing together on stage, they haven’t spoken to each other. Not once! However, the two of them felt guilty over the whole situation, but were both too damn stubborn to apologize. Meanwhile, Harley was still moping around about Tucker’s decision. Harley too hasn’t said too much, which is making Tucker feel a little uneasy. It is now the night of the concert and time for the craziness to start!
Marcus: Holy crap! You’re wearing that dress?
Marisa: Yes I am!
Marcus: Uh-huh! And after the performance, I take it Tracey’s going to take it off? (She punches his arm)
Marisa: You’re sick! I like this dress! I flashed my boobs at a Marilyn Manson concert wearing this!
Marcus: No you didn’t and you better not say that on stage!
Marisa: Keep your pants on! I’m not going to say that! (In the girl’s dressing room)
Solidad: I can’t believe how stubborn they are!
Grace: Who? Erika and Jessie? Come on, we all know how they can be!
Solidad: No, I’m talking about May and Drew!
Erika: So they’re not getting along! Big deal! Not the end of the world! (May walks inside) Speak of the devil!
May: Oh put a sock in it! (Looks on the counter) Oh, very funny!
Erika: What?
May: It’s nice that you think enough of me to trick me into thinking this is from Drew.
Erika: Who gave you the rose sweetie?
May: What do you mean? You mean, you didn’t do this as a trick? And you guys didn’t put the rose here to try and make me feel better?
Kelly: No! We all came in the room and found the rose next to your stuff.
May: (Thinking) Drew!
Solidad: It must have been from Drew. You see, I can really tell that he’s been hurting ever since the fight. He cares about you May. (A little later in the audience)
Misty: This should be fun!
Brock: Is there any nudity?
Sakura: Good God no! All of the acts tonight are going to be tasteful! Well, then again, I don’t know about one of the acts.
Brock: Let me see the program! So what? Harley and Tucker are singing a duet! What’s the big deal?
Misty: They’re singing a song that’s meant for two women and they might dress up like women in this performance.
Brock: Blasphemy!
Tracey: Come on Brock, it shouldn’t be all that bad!
Brock: Right! You’re only here because your girlfriend is hosting this whole deal!
Tracey: Hey, I’m here for more than that!
Brock: Yeah, that she might mess with your junk if you show up!
Tracey: That’s not even true! (Backstage)
Marisa: (Whispering into the intercom) Thanks Miss Vivian! (Walks into the girls dressing room) We’re about to go in a little bit, so get ready Solidad!
Solidad: Great!
May: Solidad, is it true what you said earlier about Drew?
Solidad: I wouldn’t lie to you May. You see, I’ve known Drew for several years now to know that he never thinks before he speaks. And he can be quite arrogant! I know he didn’t want to break up with you and I know you didn’t want to go through with it either. But you know how boys are!
May: Tell me about it!
Solidad: Chin up May! He’ll come around and apologize! (Miss Vivian walks on stage)
Miss Vivian: Welcome to the theatre! As we all know, the thespians of this theatre have been working very hard all year long. Well tonight, is their night to show the school and their loved ones what they’re really made of. So without further ado, let’s get this started. (Let’s Get It Started by the Black Eyed Peas plays and Marisa walks out on stage)
Marisa: Hello everyone! (Cheering and clapping) Welcome! I’m your host for the evening Marisa…
Man: WOOOO!
Marisa: Okay then…Thanks for that Dad! I appreciate it! (Laughter) Geez, you probably thought it was Fergie walking out on stage! (Laughter) But enough of that! Welcome to a night of a bunch of show tunes! It’s going to be just like the Tony Awards. Except no awards will be given out tonight and we’re not on CBS. Although if we were on CBS, I’d be dressed up like Janet Jackson! (Big laughter) Oh, I’m kidding! But seriously, we here in the Thespian Society have worked hard all year to bring you great performances. And when we weren’t doing that, we were getting into fights. (Laughter) That’s right! This is my second dysfunctional family! We’ve had more fights go down here than any VH1 reality show. (Big laughter) Okay, it’s time for our first performance of the evening. One of our biggest pride and joys of the theatre is our Thespian president, Solidad. And don’t let the costume fool you! She isn’t all that sweet and innocent! (Laughter) I’m kidding Solidad! No hard feelings! Give it up for Solidad singing…The Sound of Music! (Cheering)
Solidad:
The hills are alive with the sound of music
With songs they have sung for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music
My heart wants to sing every song it hears
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds
that rise from the lake to the trees
My heart wants to sigh like a chime that flies
from a church on a breeze
To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls over
stones on its way
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray
I go to the hills when my heart is lonely
I know I will hear what I've heard before
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music
And I'll sing once more (Cheers and applause)
Marisa: Yeah, that was awesome! Man, I wish I could have a voice like that. But I just keep telling myself that all of the singers tonight will eventually become famous actors in Hollywood and will be on every page of all the tabloid magazines. (Laughter) Meanwhile, I’ll have a great future ahead of me in a place where apparently they’ll hire any weirdo off the street. And that of course is talk radio! (Big laughter) And now for three ladies who love singing, dancing, and long walks on the beach. I’m kidding. But seriously, these girls are great. Give it up for Grace, Kelly, and Erika singing Matchmaker! (Applause)
Grace:
Well, somebody has to arrange the matches,
Young people can't decide these things themselves.
Kelly:
She might bring someone wonderful----
Grace
Someone interesting----
Kelly:
And well off----
Grace:
And important---
Erika:
Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
catch me a catch
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Look through your book,
And make me a perfect match
Kelly:
Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
I'll bring the veil,
You bring the groom,
Slender and pale.
Bring me a ring for I'm longing to be,
The envy of all I see.
Grace:
For Papa,
Make him a scholar.
Kelly:
For mama,
Make him rich as a king.
Grace & Kelly:
For me, well,
I wouldn't holler
If he were as handsome as anything.
Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
Catch me a catch,
Night after night in the dark I'm alone
So find me match,
Of my own.
Erika:
Since when are you in a match, Chava? I thought you had your eye on your books. (Grace chuckles) And you have your eye on the Rabbi's son.
Grace:
Well, why not?
We have only one Rabbi and he has only one son.
Why shouldn't I want the best?
Erika:
Because you're a girl from a poor family.
So whatever Yenta brings, you'll take, right?
Of course right! (throws scarf over her head, imitating Yenta)
Hodel, oh Hodel,
Have I made a match for you!
He's handsome, he's young!
Alright, he's 62.
But he's a nice man, a good catch, true?
True.
I promise you'll be happy,
And even if you're not,
There's more to life than that---
Don't ask me what.
Chava, I found him.
Won't you be a lucky bride!
He's handsome, he's tall,
That is from side to side.
But he's a nice man, a good catch, right?
Right.
You heard he has a temper.
He'll beat you every night,
But only when he's sober,
So you'll alright.
Did you think you'd get a prince?
Kelly:
Well I do the best I can.
Erika & Grace:
With no dowry, no money, no family background
Be glad you got a man!
Kelly:
Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
You know that I'm
Still very young.
Please, take your time.
Grace:
Up to this minute,
I misunderstood
That I could get stuck for good.
Grace & Kelly:
Dear Yenta,
See that he's gentle
Remember,
You were also a bride.
It's not that
I'm sentimental
All:
It's just that I'm terrified!
Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Plan me no plans
I'm in no rush
Maybe I've learned
Playing with matches
A girl can get burned
So,
Bring me no ring
Groom me no groom
Find me no find
Catch me no catch
Unless he's a matchless match. (Cheers and applause)
Marisa: And I thought I was desperate for man! (Laughter) Hey I’m kidding! (Backstage)
Joshua: (Whispering) Okay! I’m ready! Eye of the tiger baby!
Marcus: (Whispering) Let’s do it to it!
Joshua: (Whispering) Just promise me that you won’t mess up any lines like you did in Guys & Dolls!
Marcus: You’re never going to let that one go, are you? (Back on stage)
Marisa: Here’s Marcus and Joshua singing We Can Do It!
Marcus:
Don't you see, Bloom. Darling Bloom, glorious Bloom. It's so simple.
Step One: we find the worst play ever written.
Step Two: we hire the worst director in town.
Step Three: I raise two million dollars...
Joshua:
Two?
Marcus:
Yes! One for me, one for you. There's a lot of little old ladies out there.
Step Four: We hire the worst actors in New York and open on Broadway.
And before you can say Step Five, we close on Broadway, take our two million and go to Rio.
Joshua:
Rio? Nah, that'd never work.
Marcus:
Oh ye of little faith.
What did Lewis say to Clark
When everything looked bleak?
What did Sir Edmund say to Tenzing
As they struggled toward Everest's peak?
What did Washington say to his troops
As they crossed the Delaware
I'm sure you're well aware...
Joshua:
What'd they say?
Marcus:
We can do it, we can do it
We can do it, me and you
We can do it, we can do it
We can make our dreams come true
Everything you've ever wanted
Is just waiting to be had
Beautiful girls, wearing nothing but pearls
Caressing you, undressing you
And driving you mad
We can do it, we can do it
This is not the time to shirk
We can do it, you won't rue it
Say goodbye to petty clerk
Hi, producer: yes, producer
I mean you, sir, go berserk!
We can do it, we can do it
And I know it's gonna work
Whatta ye say, Bloom? (Backstage in the green room)
Solidad: So what do you say Drew?
Drew: Get off my back!
Solidad: Don’t give me that Drew! You care about May as much as she cares about you. I know it was you who put that rose near her stuff today. (Drew blushes)
Drew: So what if I did?
Solidad: Well, I think you should know that May is missing you as much as you miss her.
Drew: She misses me?
Solidad: Trust me on this. (She leaves the room)
Drew: Oh May…I do miss you! (Back on stage)
Joshua:
You see Rio, I see jail!
Marcus:
We can do it!
Joshua:
I can't do it!
Marcus:
We can do it!
Joshua:
I cannot, cannot, cannot
'Cause I know it's gonna fail
Marcus:
We can do it!
I know it cannot fail
Joshua:
It's gonna fail (Cheers and applause)
Marisa: Oh, you have to love those thugs! But I shouldn’t even be talking! I know for a fact that the government is wiretapping my phones and my picture is probably up in a post office somewhere in Texas! (Laughter) Well, before I incriminate myself any further, time for our next performance. And now, here’s James singing Grow for Me! (Applause)
James:
I've given you sunshine
I've given you dirt.
You've given me nothing
But heartache and hurt.
I'm beggin' you sweetly.
I'm down on my knees.
Oh, please-grow for me!
I've given you plant food
And water to sip.
I've given you potash.
You've given me zip.
Oh God, how I mist you
Oh pod, how you tease
Now, please-grow for me!
I've given you southern exposure
To get you to thrive.
I've pinched you back hard,
Like I'm s'posed ta.
You're barely alive.
I've tried you at levels of moisture
From desert to mud.
I've given you grow-lights
And mineral supplements.
What do you want from me- Blood?
I've given you sunlight.
I've given you rain.
Looks like you're not happy,
'Less I open a vein.
I'll give you a few drops
If that'll appease.
Now please-oh please-grow for me! (Backstage)
Grace: (Whispering) Hey, I can see Principal Oak in the audience! I wonder why he’s here!
Kelly: (Whispering) Rumor has it that he’s proposing to his girlfriend!
Grace: (Whispering) Isn’t he doing Ash’s mother? That’s creepy! (Jessie walks up)
Jessie: (Whispering) Step aside little girls! It’s my turn to shine! My public awaits my singing! (Back on stage)
Marisa: Now for the girl who feels pretty all day long…And then some, here’s Jessie! (Applause)
Jessie:
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me! (Back in the green room)
Tucker: We’re almost on!
Harley: That’s nice.
Tucker: We have to talk! Is it because I’m going off to college that you’re acting so gloomy? (Harley groans) Come on Harley, it’s not like I’m going to another planet! It’s just college! You know I’ll be home for Christmas and summer break.
Harley: You won’t forget my birthday right?
Tucker: Of course not!
Harley: And you’ll be sure to call me twice a day!
Tucker: Don’t go overboard! I do have to have time for my studies.
Harley: I guess…we can give this a try. It won’t be the same without seeing your beautiful face. But if going to Sandgem is going to make you happy, then I’m happy.
Tucker: Aw, that’s my Harley-bear! Kiss, pookie?
Harley: Hey, that’s my line! (Cheering and applause in the background)
Tucker: Come on hon! Let’s give these people the performance of a lifetime!
Harley: You’ve got it doll face! (Back on stage)
Marisa: These next two singers can basically do anything. They sing, they dance, they act, and even dress in drag! He’s the H to the A-R-L the E the Y! And can nobody put it down like this guy! He’s Harleylicious! (Cheering and clapping) Whoops! I got carried away again! But Harley’s not alone on this one. He’s with the guy who looks up to RuPaul and follows Tim Gunn. Tucker! Give it up for these two as they sing Take Me or Leave Me! (Cheering and applause)
Harley:
Every single day,
I walk down the street
I hear people say 'baby so sweet'
Ever since puberty
Everybody stares at me
Boys girls I can't help it baby
So be kind and don't lose your mind
just remember that I'm your baby
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
Take me baby
Or leave me
Take me or leave me
A tiger in a cage
Can never see the sun
This diva needs her stage baby
Lets have fun
You are the one I choose
Folks will kill to fill your shoes
You love the lime light to now baby
So be mine but don't waste my time
Cryin' 'honey bear are you still my, my, my baby?'
Tucker: DON’T YOU DARE!
Harley:
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
No way, can I be what I’m not
But hey, don't you want your girl hot?
Oh, don't fight, don't loose your head
'Cause every night who's in your bed?
Who?
Who's in your bed?
Kiss pookie
Tucker:
It won't work
I look before I leap
I love margins and discipline
I make list in my sleep baby
What’s my sin?
Never quit
I follow through
I hate mess but I love you
What do with my improptu baby?
So be wise 'cause this girl satisfies
You got a prize but don't compomise
Your one lucky baby
Take me for what I am
Harley: A control freak
Tucker: Who I was meant to be
Harley: A snob yet over attentive
Tucker: And if you give a damn
Harley: A loveable droll geek
Tucker: Take me baby or leave me
Harley: A anal retentave
Both: That’s it
Tucker: The straw that breaks my back
Both: I quit
Tucker: Unless you take it back
Harley: Women what is it about them?
Both: Can't live with them or without them! Take me for what I am
Tucker: Who I was meant to be
Harley: Who I was meant to be and if you give a damn
Tucker: And if you give a damn then take me baby, or leave me
Harley: Take me baby, take me or la-la-la-la-la-leave me
Both:
Take me baby or leave me
Guess I'm leaving I'm gone! (In the audience)
Brock: Jesus Christ, that was too creepy for words!
Sakura: Yeah, but you have to admit that they were great together on stage. That was almost as good as the movie version.
Misty: Well the best is yet to come. (Sees Principal Oak and Delia embracing) If all goes well, Ash’s mom will say yes.
Tracey: But in the meantime, let’s hope we’ll see an actual singing performance and not a fight. (Back on stage)
Marisa: And now for your final song of the night! As you may recall, we did the play Guys & Dolls earlier this year. In it, these two took the show with the roles of Sky Masterson and Sarah Brown, bringing in people left and right to see the show. And now, the duo, you can’t get enough of, here’s May and Drew! (Cheering and applause)
May: What time is it?
Drew: I don’t know. Four o’ clock?
May: I’m not usually up this late.
Drew:
My time of day is the dark time
A couple of deals before dawn
When the street belongs to the cop
And the janitor with the mop
And the grocery clerks are all gone.
When the smell of the rainwashed pavement
Comes up clean, and fresh, and cold
And the streetlamp light
Fills the gutter with gold
That's my time of day
My time of day
And you're the only doll I've ever wanted to share it with me.
May: Hmm.
Drew: Obediah.
May: Huh? What did you say?
Drew: Obediah Masterson, that’s my real name. I never told anybody this.
May: Oh. (He takes her by the hand)
Drew:
I've never been in love before
Now all at once it's you
It's you forever more
I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
But this is wine that's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour
So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before
May:
I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
But this is wine that's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour
Both:
So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before (They kiss)
May: (Thinking) Is this our final kiss? (Cheering and applause)
Narrator: After the big finale, Marisa and the rest of the thespians came out on the stage to take their final bows. The crowd roared the hardest for Marisa, Harley, Tucker, May and Drew. As soon as the show was over, Principal Oak and Delia went outside…And he popped the question!
Delia: Oh my God! Yes! I will! I will!
Oak: Really? Oh I love you Delia! (They kiss)
Narrator: Okay, you all don’t need to see that. Let’s go back in the theatre! And see something more appropriate! (Marisa and Tracey kiss) That’s more like it!
Brock: Oh for the love of all things holy! You two are in public! Can’t you guys kiss behind closed doors?
Marisa: Shut up Brock! Don’t tell me that you’re jealous! (Brock groans)
Tracey: Oh, that reminds me! (Brings out a bouquet) Here you are!
Marisa: You mean this whole thing is for me? (Tracey nods) Oh my God, thank you so much Tracey!
Brock: Flowers! Big deal! They’ll be dead in a week!
Marisa: You’ll be dead in a second if you don’t shut up!
Tracey: Now Marisa, don’t be so mean.
Marisa: (Happily) You’re right! I’ll let him live! (Marcus walks up)
Marcus: I’ve said it before and I will say it again, thank God for Tracey.
Misty: Marcus, you did a great job tonight!
Marcus: Thank you and the best part is I didn’t screw up the song like I did in Guys & Dolls!
Sakura: I still don’t know what you did!
Marcus: And you never will! (Nearby)
Miss Vivian: My God, I had goose bumps when you all were singing up there. I’m so proud of you all. I don’t know what I’m going to do when the time comes and you all graduate. It’s bad enough I’m going to lose Solidad and Tucker this year, but I don’t want to start thinking about it when it comes time for the rest of you to graduate.
Kelly: You know that you’re stuck with us for another year!
Erika: Yeah, don’t worry about it!
Grace: By the way, did Miss Marion show up?
Miss Vivian: No, that big showbiz queen is in another town with her preppy singers in some competition. But no worries! I got a nice tape of this so when she gets back, she’s going to watch it and flip!
Marcus: Oh, here comes Harley and Tucker!
Misty: Oh, you guys were great!
Harley: Thank you darling!
Marisa: So you and Tucker are on speaking terms again?
Harley: You bet!
Tucker: Harley just got a little upset that I’m going to Sandgem University in the fall and is afraid that he was going to lose me.
Harley: I do love my man! Kiss pookie!
Brock: UGH! That song was supposed to be for two girls!
Sakura: Oh shut up Brock! (May walks up) May, you and Drew were just the best!
May: Thank you. You all haven’t seen Drew have you?
Solidad: I saw him go outside just a little bit ago. (May runs outside)
Misty: It’s a damn shame that they’re no longer going out!
Solidad: We’ll see about that. (Outside)
May: Drew! (He turns around) There you are!
Drew: May…You did great tonight.
May: You really mean that?
Drew: I do. (May smiles) Well, I’m going to get going if that’s all.
May: Wait a second Drew! (She pulls out the rose) You missed me just as much as I missed you. Can’t you just admit that at least? (Drew sighs)
Drew: I did miss you May. I know that we saw each other everyday during this whole fiasco, but during that time I’ve never felt such distance.
May: Drew, I don’t want to stay broken up with you. It’s weird, we may fight like cats and dogs sometimes, but it doesn’t really matter to me. I’m willing to overlook a few things as long as I’m with you. (Drew stares at her) Well, that’s all I wanted to say. I’m going to go back inside. (She walks away)
Drew: May! (He grabs her arm and kisses her on the lips) I love you May. (Nearby)
Marisa: Well, who’d a thought?
Solidad: I told you. Let’s just say I had a nice talk with the two of them alone and I know that they’re crazy for each other.
Marcus: You can’t beat chemistry!
Tracey: Chemistry?
Marisa: Yeah, chemistry!
Narrator: And so, the night ends off with a bang! All of the loose ends are finally tied as everyone has found love…Except for Brock…and Marcus…and Sakura…and well a lot of others not worth mentioning! What will happen with all of these great couples? Stay tuned next season and…
May: Hey! Do you mind?
Drew: You are ruining the moment!
Narrator: Sorry about that!
Song(s) used
*Let's Get It Started by the Black Eyed Peas
*The Sound of Music
*Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof
*We Can Do It from The Producers
*Grow for Me from Little Shop of Horrors
*I Feel Pretty from West Side Story
*Fergalicious by Fergie
*Take Me or Leave Me from RENT
*I've Never Been In Love Before from Guys & Dolls