Adoption the Loving Option

ADOPTION: THE LOVING OPTION

by Fr Jim Whalen

Pro-life people advocate the truth that adoption is a viable and obvious alternative to abortion, for those who are not ready to become parents, not ready to raise children. Mother Teresa explains this position clearly: "Adoption is the answer to unwanted children, by making them wanted by loving adoptive parents. Of course, no child is unwanted by God" (Mother Theresa, Pro Life Christians, 1992, p. 85). The Catholic ethic believes in the unique value of the life and dignity of each person, from conception to natural death. There is great wisdom in sidewalk counsellor Monica Miller’s slogan: "When one child dies, the whole world mourns. When a million children die, the world doesn’t care" (ibid., p. 109). The fact of the matter is that if society looked at adoption seriously, most people would not only accept but prefer it over abortion.

Pro-abortionists present the falsehood that adoption is nothing less than moral irresponsibility, stating that relinquishing a baby is not a very humane procedure (Rocky Mountain Planned Parenthood, 1985). They stress that the adoption agencies are inept and riddled with problems. Their neo-feminist principle views the child as property, to be used or disposed of according the will of the mother. The abortuary counsellors in the death mills or clinics are instructed to denounce adoption, for it would mean a loss of business, approximately $600 for each abortion (Henry Morgentaler’s profit per abortion). When profit becomes more important than the person, the culture of death society has reached new heights in the loss of common sense and absurdity. Such blatant secularism points clearly to self-destruction, evident in present massive death campaigns, through sterilization camps and coercive anti-life reproductive programs (International Planned Parenthood Federation, Canadian Planned Parenthood Federation, World Bank, United Nations, etc.).

Strangely enough many women accept this eclipse of logic, this anti-life attitude that presents half-truths and bold-faced lies, preferring to kill their children rather than let anyone else adopt them. They cannot stand the thought of someone else raising their children, which reveals that they really do want their pre-born children. Such thought patterns result in a post-abortion syndrome, leaving them burdened with depression and guilt, making them mentally crippled and wounded for life, unable to function or adjust in such a meaningless world, that has stripped them of human value and human dignity.

Realizing the potential of adoption, various campaigns, by the National Organization for Women, NOW, and Planned Parenthood, have been launched to convince the public that adoption should not be seen as a possible solution: labelling it as ‘an incompetently handled institution’ (NBC, Roe vs. Wade, 1989); ‘a superficial, sloganistic, hopelessly naive alternative to abortion’, (Newsweek Magazine, May 1989). Some even went so far to say: "If the federal government encouraged adoption in any way, it would amount to coercive behaviour. No one knows better than the woman herself what’s best for her" (i.e. Abortionist David Grimes, Pro-Life Activist’s Encyclopaedia, Brian Clowes, Chap. 35-2).

Married couples choose adoption for various reasons: the need of children, infertility, generosity, social commitment, gratitude, etc. Perhaps the greatest reason parents choose to adopt or foster children is because there is a cry for help and charity is what life is all about. Joseph was the foster father of Jesus. In the spiritual realm, Christians are all adopted children of the Father, through Baptism, and adopted children of Mary, as revealed in Scripture: "Behold your son, behold your mother". The whole network of relationships from the smallest cell of society, the family, to the extended family, the parish, the Church, has been given to us in the doctrinal teaching of the Mystical Body of Christ.

The process from the decision to adopt, proceeds to choosing the method of adoption, searching for a child, and completing the adoption. The world, as viewed in ‘Family Circus’ cartoon by Bil Keane, puts it in a positive perspective. "We came from Mommy’s tummy, but Joseph is adopted, so he came from his mommy’s heart" (The Canadian Adoption Guide, 1994, Judith Wine, p.1). (See cartoon, p. 4)

The average wait to adopt a healthy new-born through the government is almost six years (Adoption in Canada, K. Daly & M. Sobol, 1993, 52). Private adoptions, independent or identified adoption, have a shorter waiting period and requires giving up a certain amount of privacy, as well as demanding considerable time and energy. The average waiting period for a private adoption in Canada is 20-24 months (Adoption in Canada, 52).

Private adoption costs vary. The primary costs include: professional counselling services, background information gathering, and legal and administration assistance (between $4,528- $5,873, (Adoption in Canada, 54). Secondary costs, the actual search for birth parents, include payment for advertising and mailings.

International adoption waiting periods vary from several months to several years. Higher costs occur in international adoption alternatives, ranging from several thousand dollars to $25,000, and more. The average expenses for adoption from China was $15,000; from Russia. $20,685; from Guatemala, $22,000 (The Adoption Option, 1999, p. 8). The reason for these high costs is because adoption professionals are interested in making a profit and such adoptions often involved a certain amount of travel as well as sponsorship.

Most adopters are middle class people. In a recent survey, 1999, 60% of adoptive mothers had some college education or were college graduates and post graduates (National Centre for Health Statistics).

In Canada, in 1998, there were 1,400 children adopted domestically, and 2,222 adopted from abroad. In Ontario, there were between 210 and 230 new-born adoptions annually. (The Adoption Option, p. 501-502). There are over 50,000 children in Canada in foster care, with about 17,000 of these children that are being adopted. Unfortunately, many remain in foster care. "We keep better track of used cars than we do of our children, and that's a disgrace" (Judy Grove, Executive Director of Adoption Council of Canada, 1999, The Adoption Option, p.503). In Ontario, there are about 1,232 children free for public adoption, but they are not being moved through the system. The largest public agency in Ontario is Toronto Metro Children’s Aid Society. It had 1, 831 children in its care at the end of 1997. During that year, 79 children were placed (The Adoption Option, p.504). An estimated 16,000 couples are seeking adoption annually in Canada. ¤