When do the in-laws become a cause of married life problems?

"My mother-in-law always interferes in our personal matters."

"My mother-in-law has ruined our married life."

"My husband always listens to my mother-in-law; it appears that I have no place in taking any important decisions in my own life."

These are some of the common issues that daughters-in-law face and come to us for solutions. Sometimes, even their husbands agree and unwillingly complain about their mothers' dominating behaviour which seemed to change substantially after their marriage. This is a troubling situation for most newly-married couples. The new member of the family, the daughter-in-law, is unable to gather enough courage to voice her opposition against the hardships her mother-in-law creates. On the other hand, her husband is embarrassed to speak against his own mother in front of his new wife and other family members.

As a result, they both silently continue bearing it all, and soon matters turn explosive, which leads to their married life disputes. These adverse effects will continue to grow, and sometimes things even reach the point of divorce due to the excessive meddling of the in-laws. In countries like ours, where the joint family system exists, new couples usually undergo much pain and agony, when otherwise they would have had a smooth life without the interference. Most marriage counsellors agree that such issues need to be discussed and dealt with care in time.

Mothers of Son Creating Married Life Problems

But why do mothers cause such obstructions in their own child's life? The truth is, most moms believe that their right on their son should be more than his new wife. After all, she gave birth to him, brought him up, and therefore, has a better understanding of his needs. She is sure that she can guide her child better, even after marriage. Moreover, some mothers have a dominating nature and force their children to live their life in a manner they decide. As a result, their son is also unable to speak up against them. In the end, the poor wife has to bear all the brunt, even if he does say something.

But a mother loves her children and sacrifices everything for them, then why would she create problems for them? The thing is that she is a mom and has a very decisive place in her child's life until they are old enough. However, once they are married, their spouse begins to take over many responsibilities, and the mother starts feeling displaced. This is especially true for the mothers of sons. Another source of contention between mothers and daughters-in-law is the fact that the latter is a new member of the family and doesn't understand their customs. This can lead to disputes between them as the daughter-in-law acts according to things that she knows, while the mother-in-law expects her to behave in a way she wants. In such a situation, the mother needs to convey the traditions of the family politely, that doesn't hurt the feelings of the daughter-in-law. In turn, the new wife should also be ready to learn new things from their mother-in-law.

Mothers of Daughters Creating Married Life Disputes

The exact opposite is true, as well. As the mothers of sons create troubles for their daughters-in-law, similarly, the mothers of daughters, too, try to intervene in their lives. This can lead to the reverse of the previous situation. Due to their own mom's interference, the new daughter-in-law does not wish to accept their mother-in-law and give them the place and respect of a mother. On the other hand, the mother-in-law is actually very accepting of her son's new wife. Now the conflicts occur from the wife's side as she tries to exert her rights over her husband and take her mother-in-law's place. A feeling of competition rises within the new wife. In such a situation, the woman needs to understand her responsibilities. She needs to try to adjust in the new home while trying to bring everyone together.

Solution To Problems In Married Life Of Natives

All these things need to be discussed, and mothers too need to know their limits. They should allow their children the freedom to act on their own and muddle through their newly-married lives themselves. Though they should guide their child when required, let them understand the world by themselves. One solution to this can be giving their children some space to begin their lives on their own. Mothers of sons should tactfully explain the traditions of their new home and allow them to learn things on their own. For example, if the new daughter is not adept in household chores, she should be given the time to learn them, and not ill-treated.

Mothers can be naturally possessive of their children. As a woman, the wife can also understand their mother-in-law's feelings if she tries to stand in her shoes. This will help her in understanding and handling the situation prudently. However, if things get serious, boundaries need to be set. Do not let matters reach a point of making the husband choose between his wife and mother.

Another thing that creates problems between new wives and in-laws is a matter of respect. The parents of the son wish to receive the same reverence from their daughter-in-law, which is not wrong either. The daughter-in-law should accept them as her own parents as well. Karma plays a vital role in all our lives. Newlywed women should remember that if they condemn their in-laws, they will soon lose respect in their own homes also. It is possible that their brother's wife may start disliking their presence in their home. This is their karma. They should let fate decide the punishment for any ill-deeds of their in-laws and simply continue to complete their responsibilities devotedly.

Know About Troubles From In-Laws Through Kundali

All this is true, but can we know beforehand if there can be some troubles with our in-laws? Of course! As we have said repeatedly, astrology has the answer to all problems. One's birth chart and kundali matching can determine how one's relationship with their in-laws will be. The seventh house in one's natal chart signifies their spouse, and the fourth house from the seventh house, i.e., their tenth house defines their mother-in-law. The planets positioned in this house indicate the nature of the mother of your spouse. Similarly, one can discover the temperament of their father-in-law through their fourth house, while the ninth house can determine the disposition of one's brother-in-law and sister-in-law.