writing essay for college application

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Arizona, MO, Boston, Oakland, MD, Tennessee, PA, AR, Omaha, Hawaii, CT, CA, NY, Long Beach, Los Angeles, CO, Indianapolis, ID, Wyoming, Virginia Beach, Dallas, WV, New York, NE, Illinois, West Virginia, WA, Colorado, Charlotte, WYMichigan, Utah, Pennsylvania, California, Texas, Virginia, Texas, RI, TN, Oklahoma City, New Hampshire, Nebraska, Minnesota, San Antonio, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Alabama, Pennsylvania, Albuquerque, Kansas, Arizona, North Carolina, Mississippi, San Jose, Indiana, Maryland, NV, AL, Washington, Montana, Wisconsin, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Miami, Vermont, MN, Nebraska, OH, New Mexico, LA, MA, Fresno, Minnesota, Oregon, Washington, NH, Maryland, UT, MS, Brookhaven, Alaska, Arkansas, Massachusetts, IN, Ohio, New Orleans, Honolulu, OK, Mesa, Memphis, North Carolina, AZ, TX, Kansas City, NJ, Missouri, WI, San Francisco, Hempstead, Nevada, New Mexico, New Jersey, NY, Maine, South Dakota, Cleveland, NC, New York, Georgia, Delaware, MT, Ohio, Rhode Island, Florida, Houston, VA, District of Columbia, Tucson, Portland, Phoenix, writing essay for college application you move from point 2 to point 3 lets say theres no transition theres very little in terms of a transition and often what students do is they simply say well and here is another point also we will also see that were going to talk about this but whats the connection between points 2 & 3 theres absolutely no connection the only connections that they both go back to the same thesis but thats pretty weak so the point then is these these three points are not really being connected there are no strong transitions and you might actually say that theres no flow then the essay simply doesnt flow its its very choppy its heres a point heres another point and so on in a proper essay you should think of your paragraphs as building blocks so you start with something that maybe we can all agree with that is a bit more easy thats easier to kind of understand and then your second paragraph is not placed beside it as some kind of separate point but its placed on top of it like youre stacking and then your third paragraph and so on and youre building a tower and the idea is that if you climb on top of the tower you can see much further right youre developing a point instead of having a bunch of different points so thats a fundamental flaw with the five paragraph essay is it doesnt connect points and it doesnt have flow the other problem is that its too repetitive its very repetitive just like I repeat it myself yeah now if you look at this just have a look at where this the same thesis gets writing essay for college application repeated okay so if we just apply a little bit of color here were gonna have our thesis then were gonna make sure that we are come back to our thesis in the topic topic sentence but then we also conclude at the end so were going to make sure that our reader really understand whats at stake here we go again right and we just keep on repeating and then the conclusion is all repetition all the time in a short essay thats extremely repetitive and the reader is not you know it is not unintelligent for lack of a more pejorative word the reader knows what youre talking about so why do so much repeating and I think thats something that we have to work on to really avoid this this issue another issue is that because of all the repetition and because we have three separate points we dont zoom in enough dont zoom in enough right because how much time is there left for zooming in as soon as we finish a point we start with something different and then we dont have time to develop that so everything is general everything gets repeated theres just no detail to this kind of paper instead what we want to do is we want to really dig in right where we have this model of stacking or building on top of other ideas and you can see this this problem with zooming in also with the hook with the introduction because you have this artificial hook youre not starting with your topic specifically but youre starting with something else that might sound writing essay for college applicationinteresting and so what you end up with is this introduction thats so broad that has all of these different layers before you get to your actual thesis that you might as well be starting in outer space before youre kind of zooming in and we really want this this triangle to be much narrower and much quicker so thats another problem then with the kind of structure that we have here what we end up with then just to summarize is a five paragraph essay thats really three mini essays that are loosely connected and we want to start moving beyond that we want to write more organically we want to have an essay that has just one thesis one argument not three we want to have flow to our essay we want to develop our ideas in greater depth and well talk about how to do this in a separate video writing essay for college application