how to write a winning scholarship essay


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Aang Im Mexican Im Chinese Im American I am Catholic I am gay I have all of this and more and most of all I am me my identity is not a singular identity but a conglomeration of experiences beliefs and origins this is my identity you havent read this SK so I just want to know part what is your first reaction to this when you hear it well it goes back to you know we are where our own crowd meaning there are lots of people inside all of us and this captures that so beautifully and its its simple but its simple in the way great art is simple yeah this is theres a lot of high rhetorical structure you know you have these repetitions of I am I am its almost biblical and its so its its taking some of the greatest rhetorical tools and implementing them but theyre not big and fancy they they work at a level of you know of this one person and you know Walt Whitman says we all contain multitudes and you cant get a better student essays showing that right in many ways so yeah but its just this wonderful evocation and again you feel the energy the energy is there you know its another guy you say I cant wait to have this guy on our campus you know he is going to be great oh my god so thats thats what stands out to me I want to say a couple more things about this I say but I want to ask you in your all your years reading did you have that in the back of your mind like do i endu I how to write a winning scholarship essay like this student you know or are we gonna some version I feel like what was your version of it in terms because you are you know as you know or you were as an admissions officer trying to go who are these humans that were actually inviting is likability an important thing I dont know if its likability but I mean I have these things called essay tests and I just post the essays I I ask people to rate them but I dont I dont give my two its worth and but the last question I always ask is is this someone youd want as your roommate right and you know I some people might not but you sure know what youre getting but I would love this guys really me too I would just so you know it its a social environment where we shouldnt be looking for people just like us thats what when people say you know the right fit for a college is the right fit meaning everyones a clone of everyone else no Ive never met any guy like this and I am fascinated I love to hang out with him yeah I feel that way too some of the when I think about what is it about this essay thats making thats drawing and what can students learn from as they as I look at this a few things one is like you can actually I do that what I call a value scan with students where I go through an essay and I go what values are we getting so lets start with this first paragraph you know hes got people to probably all know to chanclas thats like a slipper but you get sense of humor at the start you also get sense of humor when he talks about you know how to write a winning scholarship essaytarget and theres some vulnerability later theres also that really great value of vulnerability which we get a few parts in this essay theres also culture and family are really huge values that are coming through to me as I look at this theres also you know I mean so heres the vulnerability always watching my weight always looking at others always wishing always wanting for more to end the paragraph there is just like and then theres this more vulnerability and and and the ability one of the things Id love to see the student from students is like the ability to sit with complexity I mean not to feel like they have to resolve it right so having something to believe in questioning what you believe in turning to God when I see the horrors in the world and getting no response like these opposites are unresolved contradictions in the student and I think are a great way of saying here is somebody whos willing this is why I would be I think I would feel safe with this person is that I have my own unresolved contradictions but I would know that if I spoke about these that he might say yeah me too you know Im gonna stop sharing my how to write a winning scholarship essay