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The real, unequivocal end is here.
Big Ben Noyes stuck his thumb in the Pepsi Nitro
Big Ben Noyes stuck his thumb in the Pepsi Nitro
Big Ben "Jamin" Noyes is done with his days of saving the world from gingers. He now runs a Pepsi Nitro plant.
Big Ben "Jamin" Noyes is done with his days of saving the world from gingers. He now runs a Pepsi Nitro plant.
He also collects artifacts and treasures. His most sought-after treasure is right on the horizon, though. A treasure chest full of thousands of Tour of Duty tickets to play MvM with.
GETTING THEM WON'T BE EASY
GETTING THEM WON'T BE EASY
He has to contend with the other people who want this chest.
He has to contend with the other people who want this chest.
Luckily, he has his magic bag full of artifacts to help. Here's what's inside:
Luckily, he has his magic bag full of artifacts to help. Here's what's inside:
Harmon's Shusher
Harmon's Shusher
The weapon favored by the ancient god Harmon.
Grillmeister Spatula
Grillmeister Spatula
A spatula with port and starboard attachments. Very powerful.
SPECIAL Rainbow Crocs
SPECIAL Rainbow Crocs
Not his usual rainbow crocs, these are enchanted with the souls of the lost.
All-Seeing Shades
All-Seeing Shades
The shutter shades used to see all. A great way for him to keep tabs on his opponents looking for the great chest.
The Axe
The Axe
A powerful weapon for splitting wood. No magic, it's just an axe.
The Righteous Bison
The Righteous Bison
A particle splitting weapon weilded by heroes. It might be known to do a mere 30 damage, but in real life, its disintegratory beam destroys all.
Comically Large Spoon
Comically Large Spoon
A big spoon that has been enchanted by the powers of midgets to be able to dig any dirt or cap'n crunch.
The Silencer
The Silencer
The weapon forged by Ben and his monkey friends. It's imbued with the power of the grande cabinet and the eons of the salt flats.
Gaden Nerdahl
Gaden Nerdahl
Gaden is small enough to fit in the bag and is perfect for finding rare ores on the way or digging holes should it be needed. This quest may interfere with his political career.
WITH ALL OF THIS, BEN IS ASSURED TO WIN THE TICKETS!
WITH ALL OF THIS, BEN IS ASSURED TO WIN THE TICKETS!
There is positively no way he could lose to the other people hunting for these tickets.
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