The real, unequivocal end is here.

2021 News Archive

This is where all news from 2021 is.

Where things got down to business.

Boomer News 1/6/21

Welcome to the first Boomer News report of the new year, here at Boomer News, we do not take down our decorations until we want to. Deal with it. In other news, Harmon is old but even moreso today. In today's special report, Harmon the Harmonica is nearly a year old at the time of writing this, this is an insane milestone! In more news, Our Weatherman, Dunkin Donuts, disappeared mysteriously and has not been reporting our weather, we do not know where he is. That is all for the news today.

Boomer News 1/14/21

Welcome to a special report of Boomer News. In today's news, Dunkin DOnuts was found dead in his home after he attempted to fix a lightbulb, but tripped and fell face first into his decorative floor spike pit. In other news, Boomer News is now hiring a new weatherman. If you would like to apply, too bad. In some more other other news, The project speculated to be worked on by Harmon, who is very old, and Lenhart, has had no new evidence come up on it, but we believe it is linked to something known as Intensives. That is all for Boomer News today.

Boomer News 1/21/21

Welcome back to BOOMER NEWS. In some quite SHOCKING news, Harmon is OLD! In other news, Timothy the Tuba was angered by his removal from the site. He requested we add him back, however, he is in fact, a tuba, meaning he does not get the right to be on this website. Thank you for watching, goodnight boomerland!

Boomer News 1/22/21

Breaking News just in; Harmon is old! In other news, we have found a new replacement weatherman who will begin his work tomorrow, by the name of Carl Carlson. In other other other other news, there is no other news. Thank you for watching.

Boomer News 2/1/21

Welcome back to BOOMER NEWS! This just in, the evil comic sans menace has disappeared, and the site has returned to nermal, as well as its original color scheme. In other news, Harmon is SOOOOOO OLD seriously its crazy how is he so old????? In more other more news, a crazy old lady has been seen on the run armed with a flamethrower in the greater boomerland area, police are still looking, but with all of them being old, its quite difficult. She was last reported burning a pile of old clothes as well as a part of a retirement home. That is all for news today

Boomer News 2/5/21

Welcome back to another edition of Boomer News. In today's newscast, we have officially found a new weatherman, as Carl Carlson, who was unfortunately mauled by several raccoons, is unable to continue being our weatherman. Everyone give a warm welcome to ex-general Jaredis Olde as our new weatherman. We're sure his weather reports will be enlightening and life-changing. Remember, HARMON IS REALLY OLD LIKE REALLY OLD. In other news, The Boomerland Community college was sued recently by a certain Arnold Oldington, as they had accidentally unplugged his life support for 5 seconds. In other news, Arnold Oldington was found dead recently. That is all for the news today.

Boomer News 2/10/21

Bbbbbbbbbooooooomer Neeeeeeeeeeeews

Welcome back to the most trusted news source in america, Boomer News. In today's new, Boomerland has begun construction on a large statue of harmon the harmonica. It is set to be finished in about 7 years, and will be put in the Nation's capital as a signal of oldness and prosperity. HARMON IS REAL OLD, MAYBE EVEN THE OLDEST HE IS SO OLD.

Weather brought to you by Jaredis Olde

Our weatherman, Jaredis Olde, as predicted a MASSIVE TSUNAMI TO HIT BOOMERLAND WITHIN THE NEXT 3000 YEARS. If you are indoors, stay indoors, if you are outdoors, get indoors and into cover, as it could happen anytime. In other weather news, its quite sunny today

Boomer News 2/11/21

Welcome back to your morning edition of BOOMER NEWS. In today's news, a new boomer energy drink is now in the market. It is said this can give a boomer an energy boost for a solid 2 hours, although, when boomers drank it, and over-exerted themselves, several reported back pain, however, all boomers have back pain. This energy drink has 4 flavors, Dried out Hard Candy, Prune Juice, Walking Cane, and Fossil Fuel. In our second news report, Harmon is immensely old. That is all for Boomer News today.

Boomer News 2/22/21

Welcome back to BOOMER NEWS. We have breaking news right from President Harmon. Canada has recently begun to threaten invasion of the island. Why Canada would do this is unknown, but what we do know is that Harmon is Old. It all makes sense. Justin Tredjahjdhsjfhffjp or however you spell it, the prime minister of Canada, had one thing to say, "Old lol." We're not sure when the official declaration of war from Canada may come, but we'll have to keep an eye out. We have an interview with Dwayne Johnson about this. You can find the full interview here: https://sites.google.com/venturelearning.org/harmontheharmonica/boomer-news/interviews. That is all for Boomer News today.

Boomer News 2/26/21

Welcome back to Boomer News. In today's special edition, Canada has backed off from declaring war on Boomerland. This comes after a few days of negotiations between the two, in which Boomerland gave Canada 24 thousand walking canes in exchange for them not invading. This agreement came with mere days before Canada's planned invasion, there is a full interview on it here: https://sites.google.com/venturelearning.org/harmontheharmonica/boomer-news/interviews

HARMON IS OLD. That is all for Boomer News today.

Boomer News 3/1/21

Welcome to the first boomer news of March, the month where the year finally stops being boring. In current news, the Boomerland Capital, Old York City, was recently hit by a tremendous heat wave. This large wave of heat shattered windows and heated the entire city to more than 102 degrees for a brief 5 seconds. Some call it a tsunami of heat, as it injured 15 when they were flung off of the sidewalk and, thankfully, into the mattress factory. Miraculously, nobody was killed, but many people's ice creams were melted. in this huge heat wave. President Harmon is expected to give a speech about this heat wave tomorrow, and he is also old. That is all for boomer news today

Photo of the Heat Wave

Boomer News 3/10/21

Welcome back to america's #1 trusted news source for old people, where we're never on time for anything. This site is now officially a year old, or it was yesterday, now it's a year and one day. In other news, the heat wave that shook the city last week turned out to be one of the effects of global warming. Not only that, but with Boomerland typhurricyclone season coming around, the effects could put Boomerland in severe storm paths.

Boomer News 3/15/21

Welcome back to Boomer News. Today, we have a special weather report with our weatherman, Jaredis Olde. He reports that Hurrican Harmon made landfall just an hour ago, and is currently moving across the nation. Boomerland might seem small, but it is quite large, however, this massive category 4 typhurricyclone tearing through the nation, who knows what could happen. Jaredis recommends that you stay indoors, buy insurance, and try not to die. That is all for Boomer News today, and remember, Harmon is old

Boomer News 4/20/21

Nothing special about today not at all

Boomer News 4/21/21

Welcome back to BOOMER NEWS, where several of our editors love to delete old articles (cough hayden). Not much has been going on this week, other than a hip new religion sweeping Boomerland. Harmonicism is this new religion, a believe that Harmon the Harmonica (the website) Is, in fact, god. We at BOOMER NEWS try to keep an unbiased eye on these things, but I believe that this religion is amazing!!! Also, jared harmon IS old. That is all for boomer news today.

Boomer News 4/23/21

Welcome back to Boomer News! In today's news, we have some shocking news. News so new it's the newest news. Harmon, president of Boomerland, recently attended a brunch party in Las Vegas. Multiple people were killed by VIP guest Mr. Clean in cold blood. Harmon was one of four survivors. That is all for Boomer News today.

(HAMON IS OLD)

Boomer news 4/26/21

BREAKING NEWS local cat gone mad after it's Owner would not feed it the 50th piece of lasagna by hand. This cruel showing of pet abuse shows us how much we need to pay and feed our pets no matter what the vets say. The owner of the cat a wished to be left as unidentified but that was because no one could Identify him after the first attack by the cat.

Boomer news 5/2/21

A recent rune stone prophecy has been found detailing an epic fight between the enemies of Old man Harmon and a giant non vingered pickle called Lariece much of the translation has been forgotten by the archaeologist because they are very old its said that he would blow a brass horn or something it is very unclear

boomer news 5/4/21

Breaking news: new studies on the recently discovered rune stone have re-deciphered some of what is on it, the only new word discovered was 'Obama'. This proves our theory that Jared Harmon and Barack Obama are best friends.

boomer news 5/17/21

Welcome back to BOOMER NEWS! Today marks the beginning of the Harmon the Harmonica School Year In Review Session, or HHSYRS for short. Harmon the Harmonica has had a turbulent year, with holidayification, pages in double digits being added, and Boomer News continuing to be very strong at the beginning of the year and less so at the end. In other news Vice Chairman Andrew Chapple was found dead in a ditch in rural Uzbekistan. His obituary can be found Here Harmon is old, that is all for today.

boomer news 5/19/21

Welcome to the May 19th edition of Boomer News. Today, we have great news. Old history of Boomerland has been coming to light more and more lately, such as wars, massive battles, and several other things lost to time. Harmon himself has confirmed that these things happened, and that his old mind just forgot them. Click HERE to see more history on Boomerland. That is all for Boomer News. HARMON is OLD.

boomer news 5/28/21

Welcome back to BOOMER NEWS. Today we have a very special edition of the news, Jared Harmon was recently found to be guilty in a potato-smuggling scandal, in which he stole several potatoes from a 7-11 in Old York City and brought them to Canada. Residents of both Canada and Boomerland don't seem to really care too much. Harmon is old. That is all for Boomer News today.

Boomer news 8/25/21

Welcome back to Boomer News! Today, for our first news of the new school year, we have some breaking news, the newsiest news ever! Boomerland has recently been taken over by our new Grand Premiere Comrade Harmon, who took Old York City by force with an army of old people armed with walking canes. The OYCPD was overwhelmed by the oldness of the army, and the capital building was seized from President Harmon. That is all for Boomer News today, Glory to Premiere Comrade Harmon!

Boomer news 8/26/21

On today's edition of Boomer News, we have a very special news day. With Comrade Harmon now being in charge of Boomerland, we decided to interview a very special person about this take-over, 44th president Barack Obama. He applied for an interview, and thus we will deliver. The link is here: https://sites.google.com/venturelearning.org/harmontheharmonica/boomer-news/interviews

That is all for the "Totally Unbiased" Boomer News, glory to Premiere Harmon!

Boomer News 8/27/21

The evil Rebellion has occurred as we wait for more details a picture was taken of the resistance wearing a clever disguise has not been identified.
Glory to Premiere Harmon Video recording found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doEqUhFiQS4

Boomer news 9/13/21

Welcome back to the number 1 most trusted news source in America, Boomer News! Today's news is very newsy, The evil rebellion against Harmon the Harmonica has continued to build strength in what is their current base of operations, Triassic Town. Their goal is to put President Harmon, who is believed to be hiding out in Triassic Town, back in power. Premiere Harmon, our supreme leader, is currently attempting to formulate an offense into Triassic Town, but their defenses are very strong, and destroying such a historic city isn't an option, yet. That is all for Boomer News today, Glory to Premiere Harmon!

Boomer News 9/14/21

Seneca Stephens has been made public enemy #2 behind all millennials. After insulting the great chairmen he has been declared a public enemy hence why he is here be on the lookout for this man: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAn7baRbhx4

Boomer news 9/21/21

Welcome back to Boomer News! In today's news, our weatherman, Jaredis Olde, has returned from his long break from doing the weather, he had contracted scoliosis, but he is okay now and ready to weather some weather. In other news, the leader of the Rebellion in Triassic town is reportedly planning to attempt to capture the eastern coast of Boomerland, including Boom Beach. Premiere Harmon has prepared a defense, but with how many old people and walking canes the rebellion has from assisting nations, it is unsure if they can defend the east coast That is all for Boomer News today.

Boomer news 9/22/21

Welcome back to our wartime edition of Boomer News. Today's news is LOADED with CONTENT! The Evil Rebellion, now going by the name "The Liberation Army", has taken much of the east coast in a surprise attack. This rebellion has turned into an all-out Civil War, and with their capital Triassic Town, they are predicted to launch an attack on Boomtown, the birthplace of Premiere Harmon. They not only have their own flag, but also claim that they are a sovereign nation that is the true owner of Boomerland! How disgusting, the traitors! They also have financial backing from countries such as the United States, the UK, and even Wyoming. Of course, they are still weak, and the BCR army will crush them! Glory to Premiere Harmon!

Boomer news 10/1/21

Welcome to yet another wartime BOOMER NEWS! Today, in more lighthearted news, Halloween has officially begun in Boomerland. Of course, capitalist things such as costumes were banned, but due to outrage from the Old People Cosplay Society (OPCS), Costumes have been put back on sale. In other news, the "Liberation Army" has made no progress into Boomerland, they are at a standstill on the eastern coast. That is all for Boomer News today!

Boomer News

10/19/21

Update to the Boomer age count: They are still old.

Weather brought to you by kent weed

Kent weed says the weather today is pleasant, with a chance of missile barrage from the Liberation Army.

Boomer news 10/21/21

Welcome back to boomer news. In today's news, a temporary ceasefire between the two sides has been announced, as every soldier on each side's back started to hurt very badly. The war is predicted to resume in about 2 weeks. In other news, A hard-candy bust in Old York City revealed several thousand dollars in cash, or, as the one dealing said hard candy called it, "Kromer". They were arrested, then released after we found out hard candy was not a type of drug. In Other Other news, ex-weatherman and tax evader Kent Weed was released from Prison 2 years earlier than predicted. We invited him back to be our weatherman, as our old one was FIRED for being LAZY. He accepted, and he will now say the weather. Glory to the BCR!

boomer news 10/28/21

Welcome back to Boomer News! In today's news, the October truce was broken by the evil Liberation Army in Boomerland, it was a surprise attack that ended with multiple casualties, including the capture of the town of Boomtown, We here at Boomer News are stationed in Boomtown, and it sounds like they're breaking the door do

Real boomer news 10/28/21

Welcome back to REAL Boomer News! In today's news, the Boomerland Liberation Army captured Boomtown, as well as the Boomer News headquarters, where they found multiple soldiers holding the writers at canepoint. The building was liberated, and the writers were released. That is all for Boomer News today, Harmon is OLD.

boomer news 11/8/21

Boomer News Writer Jerry Attricks here, Welcome back to Boomer News! In today's news, the site has gone festive again, because it's November, which might as well be pre-December. In other news, the war raging across Boomerland is now reaching into the mid-country, with the liberation army nearly capturing Old York City. More updates on the way. That is all for Boomer News today.

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