Breaking news: The infamous Sonny Angels that took the internet by storm have taken over the world! There have been sightings of giant Sonny Angels, estimated to be 393 feet tall in New York destroying the city. These cute and loveable figures have suddenly become dangerous and terrifying. It is unclear what they are after or why they are doing this, but they have been seen targeting men. Sonny Angels were originally made for working and stressed women in their early adulthood. Experts, who are teenage girls, believe that this is the reason they are targeting men. It is suspected that they only want a world of comfort for women! New Yorkers, at least the men, have all been advised to evacuate the city.

The Angels have proven to be a great mystery. They have been seen picking up men and putting them in the hats they wear. Nobody knows where the men go or what happens to them, but authorities advise avoiding this at all costs. It is recommended not to hide from them, but instead to exit the city as fast as possible, as, for some reason, the angels can find any man no matter where they are, so hiding has proven ineffective. Oddly enough, many New York women have refused to evacuate, seemingly siding with the giant babies. Women were spotted rallying up to cheer on and celebrate the destruction of the city and man. Many grandmothers have been seen bringing out fresh baked pies and desserts as offerings to the Angels, the offerings and worship seem to be making them stronger and faster, giving them laser eye abilities. 

NYPD officers have been dispatched, and federal authorities have been contacted. However, when the officers were dispatched, the Angels simply grabbed the male officers. The Sonny Angels also are unaffected by any type of weaponry used on them, leaving the police force virtually useless against them. The angels do not speak in English, but instead in Animalese, the language animals in the game Animal Crossing speak. A professional translator was sent out to translate what they were saying, and here follows a direct quote: “This is only the beginning, more of us will come and rid this world of men.” The when and where is unknown. Fear is being spread all across the world, as it seems if humans cannot take the Angels down, the world will be manless. 

Men, please seek safety during this time of horror!