投稿日: Feb 28, 2015 2:1:59 PM
Scribe:Crusader
A Tale of Two Runs: From the Ridiculous to the Sublime
(With apologies to Charles Dickens)
It was the worst of runs, it was the best of runs, it was the day of foolishness, it was the day of wisdom, it was the Hash of Darkness, it was the Hash of Light, it was the bonenkai of despair, it was the shinnenkai of hope…. But enough of these literary illusions and on to the task of reporting an unmitigated disaster and a stunning triumph.
★A. The Disaster: Yokosuka Chuo, 7th December (Hare: Crusader)
With hindsight it was always a gamble to appoint a senile old veteran like Crusader to set a trail, particularly one as important as the Christmas/bonenkai run. Sadly our worst fears were realized. Ass Licker had helpfully prepared a 69 point list of advice as to what a Hare should and shouldn’t do, which covered every possible contingency except the attainment of world peace and how to make Sweetie warm and cuddly. Sadly our Hare couldn’t read, couldn’t understand or simply forgot these nuggets of wisdom when the time came to put his plans into action.
The pack gathered in eager anticipation at Yokosuka Chuo station, little suspecting that Crusader had made every mistake in the book. Do you arrange a Hash at a venue where the rest of the world is in attendance? No! Do you mark the trail the day before, to give the milling hordes plenty of time to obliterate the trail? No! Do you place your arrows right under the said milling hordes’ heavy footfall? No! Do you lay your arrows about 400 metres apart? No! Do you send the pack straight along the main road between the start and the finish? No! Should the pack have to make repeated phone calls to the Hare to figure out where the Hell they are going? No! Do I need to go on? No! Crusader is obviously totally unsuited to Haring and should be put out to pasture immediately.
The only bright spot after the nightmare trail was the On-On, a friendly Italian with good food and drinks (Sweetie is still raving about the pasta, weeks later). The atmosphere was great and the staff very friendly. But that delightful venue was tracked down by Jelly Mouth, so to her must go the credit. Then after A Christmas Carol or two it was onwards and upwards to….
★B. The Triumph: Kamakura, 11th January (Hares: It’s Not Too Hard/Just Ryoko)
What a difference a month makes: a New Year, a sparkling fresh day and two lovely virgins to send us on our way! As nurses our Hares had promised copious amounts of tender loving care, and a motley crew of the sick, wounded and dying staggered out of Kamakura station hoping for personal attention, no more Hard Times and an upturn in their luck. And what an upturn! A sparkling trail, beautifully marked (possibly even over-marked, one observer was heard to mention), taking full advantage of the topograghy and passing through parks, shrines and untrodden hidden alleyways. It was a tough run, with lots of ups and downs, but the immaculately marked trail and a carefully contrived Turkey/Eagle split meant that every one arrived home without incident. Even Santa Maria was back before nightfall.
The hosts at our designated On-On were initially a little less than entirely friendly, firstly kicking us out of the restaurant into a car park, and then banishing us to a nearby park. But as the appointed hour for our reservation approached they mellowed, and an enjoyable meal of pizzas and other delights followed. All of which meant a wonderful start to Hayama Hashing in 2015, and left us with Great Expectations for February’s romantic adventure.
On! On!