投稿日: Nov 23, 2016 3:14:11 AM
HASH SCRIBE, October 1st, Gerbil Stuffer
Forty-three wankers and wankettes braved the ominous comings of this auspicious run. With Hares like Asslicker and Cliffhanger, this ill-fated event could only go one of two ways. Unfortunately, it was the latter whose namesake prevailed on this sunny Nippon day. The grand adventure began when only minutes prior to the posted start time that Sweetie was witnessed taking a phone call whilst slapping his head in befuddled exasperation and cursing up a right British fury of bloody this and bloody that. Mind you, the aforementioned hares were nowhere to be seen as of yet, so it didn’t take a Sherlock Holmes to deduct, they done fucked up. After a short wrestling match betwixt Sweetie and an angry vein on his forehead that looked ready to explode, he regained composure and asked for the ten fastest runners to step up. With only nine the ruddy bastard pointed me, Gerbil Stuffer, out to join. I protested that I’m not fast by any means, I just end up in front (ZEN). Anyhow, we stout wanks and bimbos were to run to the beer van that was at this moment hanging off the edge of cliff (see opening statement).
After a delightful four of five miles of lovely river trails and up and down and up and down several times we finally arrived upon the woeful hares. A jeep had shown up to pull the large one wheel drive van off the cliff. But alas, that poor one bald wheel couldn’t pull the piece of shit van up the hill. So, we pushed and pushed and cursed and pushed and finally delivered the beast back to the black top. But shit, the coolers full of beer and ice were still down by the mishap area. WTF? These aren’t little coolers, these are the big bubba put them in a bass boat and never move them again giant ass coolers!!! Okay, no problem, relay teams lugging these beasts up the same mud road to the awaiting van.
Finally, back on trail, having enjoyed the wine stop just before the heavy work and snagging a beer out of the cooler, we arrive at the turkey/eagle split. For the first time in my 24 years of hashing, I took the turkey. My fat ass was spent! After another several miles I catch up to Cliffhanger setting trail.
Anyways, we all make it in, drink tons of beer, wine and sake. Several took dips in the refreshing water and old friends returned and virgins were welcomed. Afterwards we ate like kings at a delicious Indian restaurant (dot, not feather) and continued the rabble rousing and debauchery famous of the Hash world-wide.
Sound like fun? Well get your ass to Zushi station tomorrow by 2pm and follow the chalk arrows to Eutopia, the Hayama Hash House Harriers 8th Analversary run, The Running Club with an Eating Disorder! No seriously, they run far and fast and eat in a most awesome way!
Faithfully submitted, 5NOV16, Gerbil Stuffer