This House Possessed

Growing up in an era before TV ratings and V-chips, I was exposed to a lot of wildly inappropriate programs -- and I am indeed grateful for that! But there's one movie that traumatized and scarred me for life: a schlocky 1981 made for TV thriller called "This House Possessed." (But since I already told how the film scarred me at the end of an old spoiler-filled Retro Junk article that I wrote, I won't rehash that aspect...)

Gary Straihorne (Parker Stevenson) is a schmaltzy pop singer with millions of adoring fans. When he collapses from "exhaustion" (according to the doctor, though viewers know better) he winds up hospitalized and cared for by nurse Sheila Moore (Stevenson's "Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries" costar Lisa Eilbacher).

Gary convinces Sheila to quit her job and become his personal nurse as he recuperates, and he buys a sprawling mansion with all the modern conveniences of 1981, including video surveillance, solar power and storm-proof windows.

But before either of them ever arrived at the mansion, they were showing up on the video surveillance monitors -- and after they arrive, really strange things begin to happen... Soon Gary's pill-popping ex Tanya (Shelley Smith) arrives to create an awkward love triangle, and Sheila finds herself intrigued by the mysterious town eccentric, The Rag Lady (screen legend Joan Bennett, in one of her final roles).

What makes "This House Possessed" so interesting is it's not, as the title suggests, a haunted house film. The house itself is living, breathing (literally, at one point) entity with a mind of its own that is capable of using anything within its confines to achieve its ultimate goal. And that ultimate goal is... just plain weird! When I saw the movie again in the early '90s, I recognized it was schlock, but it's very unusual, highly atmospheric schlock filled with great performances, odd moments and an über-creepy score by perennial '70s and '80s TV composer Billy Goldenberg ("Duel," "The Legend of Lizzie Borden").

Probably should mention the rest of the actors. Amanda Wyss appears as a horny teenager in the opening (scare) scene, and she'd go on to be Freddy Krueger's first on-screen victim. Slim Pickens, who mostly starred in westerns (as well as "The Howling," "Dr. Strangelove" and the twisted '80s sitcom "Filthy Rich") plays Gary's manager. K. Callan plays the town's nosy librarian, and she's been a staple TV guest star for four decades. Similarly stock character actor Barry Corbin plays a cop... a role he's perfected over the years. David Paymer shows up briefly as a doctor, and he'd go on to win an Oscar as well as appear in flicks like "Night of the Creeps," "Howard the Duck" and the whacked-out black comedy "Bartleby." The ubiquitous Philip Baker Hall has a blink-and-you-missed-it role as a records office clerk, and he'd later star in genre films like "Ghostbusters II" and "Die Mommie Die" as well as the remakes of "Psycho" and "The Amityville Horror." Not a shabby cast.

I really wanted this script but couldn't afford $68 for it!

Filmed under the title "American Gothic," the producers were planning on finding a Victorian mansion for their principal character. But when scouting locations, they came upon a $25 million modern mansion in San Diego that sat on a whopping 220 acres of land -- and they knew they'd found their location. "I studied architecture at Princeton, and for me to spend three weeks on location in this house was wonderful," Stevenson told the Associated Press.

Stevenson performed three songs in the movie (co-written by composer Goldenberg and "Rocky" theme song lyricist Carol Connors), and this was the first time he'd sang professionally -- but he wasn't worried about that aspect. "I come from a family of singers," he boasted, adding, "My sister, Sarah McCord, is a professional singer."

And with his feathered helmet-hair, open shirt, corny lyrics and on-stage collapse, one could easily mistake him for one of the brothers Gibb. Actually, it's too bad there's no soundtrack, cuz the songs are kinda catchy in an annoying late '70s Barry Manilow sorta way.

Nope, that isn't Carrie White...

The film was a direct result of Stevenson's "Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys Mysteries" show. In his contract, he had the option to make two movies for ABC after the series ended. Problem was, he was attracted to projects that "weren't commercial" enough for the network. After having numerous ideas rejected, Stevenson settled on this starring vehicle, hoping it would be successful enough that the network would approve a follow-up that was a little less commercial... though a second film never materialized.

In an ironic twist, "This House Possessed" debuted on ABC the same night "The Brady Girls Get Married" premiered on NBC. What makes it ironic is that "The Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys Mysteries" and "The Brady Bunch Variety Hour" both debuted on ABC around the same time (matter of fact, this "Hardy Boys" promo aired during the "Variety Hour") -- obviously one was successful and the other wasn't, leading the Bradys to jump network (for the second time) for another short-lived revival.

Best as I can tell, "This House Possessed" was never issued on video anywhere in the world (don't ask me where the art directly above originated).Presumably the best print circulating is an uncut broadcast from the now-defunct Turner South network (as the prominent logo in the corner so clearly states). Beware of edited prints from '90s TBS/TNT Broadcasts. Here's hoping the film will one day get the deluxe, remastered DVD release it so desperately deserves, but in the meantime it's shown up on countless internet sites.