Fairy Tales

Yes, it's time again to regress back to that area where I have way too much expertise: '70s sex films. Following the delightfully dirty (yet strangely innocent) X-rated musical "Cinderella" in '77, a few cast and crew members reunited for another adult musical kiddie show outing (complete with some of the same costumes and props). Unlike most of the other lovably sleazy sexploitation (softcore) films in the genre, this one would've garnered a PG rating if not for the abundance of singing and dancing "nudie cuties" -- they even coerced a music legend into taking a role in this R-rated film.

Titled FAIRY TALES (aka ADULT FAIRYTALES), the story revolves around a prince who can't get it up for anyone except a missing princess whom he's seen in paintings. Sadly there was no Viagra in the days of yore (but at least they weren't bombarded with the obnoxious commercials for male enhancement aids). Seems the princess has been in an enchanted slumber for years... and she ultimately turns out to be none other than scream queen Linnea Quigley in one of her earliest (and smallest) roles. On his quest to find the Sleeping Beauty, the prince encounters a variety of demented fairy tale figures, from a flaming Jack and a promiscuous Jill to a scantily clad Little Bo Peep to a stripping, prostitute Snow White with her "seven little wonders."

CINDERELLA alum Sy Richardson ("Pushing Daisies"), who was last seen devouring the scenery as Cinderella's Fairy Godmother, returned in a very similar role as a pimp named Sirus, and Brenda Fogarty took a another sex-starved turn as Gussie Goose, the madame of the brothel in the shoe. The amply endowed Angela Aames (Little Bo Peep) went on to become a mainstay in T & A comedies until her abrupt death, taking roles in films like H.O.T.S., BACHELOR PARTY and the cult horror-comedy CHOPPING MALL. Don Sparks (The Prince) and Jeff Doucette (Jack) each went on to build long careers as guest-stars in TV shows, and FREAKS, "H.R. Pufnstuf" and "Lidsville" alum Angelo Rossitto had an, ahem, small role.

But the strangest bit of casting has to be singer Martha Reeves, who'd had a legendary hit a decade or so earlier with The Vandellas titled "(Love Is Like a) Heat Wave." Seems Reeves was conned into taking a small part with a big song, not realizing the film was aimed at adults... she innocently dragged her church group to the premiere of the film and was understandably mortified! Writers Frank Ray Perilli (who had roles in both this and CINDERELLA) and Franne Schacht were responsible for the previous year's LASERBLAST, which later became an MST3K favorite. Animation great Larry Jacobs cut his teeth as the editor of the film.

With so many characters and a running time of 76 minutes (at least on the DVD -- an 82 min director's cut is cited on imdb) there's not much time to get to know any of them very well, which is a shame. There's plenty of camera mugging and the comedy's about on par with the X-rated ALICE IN WONDERLAND, but the music's a little better and, despite the abundant, blatant female nudity, there's really only one brief sex scene. The songs are every bit as fun as the ones in CINDERELLA, though the climactic song, "A Virgin," bears more than a passing resemblance to the song about Cinderella's "Snapper" -- could be because the music for both films was penned by Andrew Belling. The women get the best songs to sing in this film, including three nude dominatrixes who spoof the classic Andrews Sisters' song "Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar." And if I didn't know better, I'd swear it was Thurl "Tony the Tiger" Ravenscroft singing the baritone part in "Sexperts."