The Stepford Children
First Dr. Lilian Thurman, Tuggle Carpenter and Ginger Grant (the mooovie star...) moved to the sleepy little town of Stepford. Next came Sgt. Christine Cagney, Marge Simpson and Mrs. Roper. Then in 1987, Jeannie came to town! The Stepford Children is the third in the series of five Stepford Wives films, and it's the only one that's never been released on video here in the USA (and it's never been released on DVD anywhere!).
"In our house, the entire family uses Final Net Hairspray!"
A little over a decade after beginning their experiments to turn the wives of Stepford into living dolls, the Men's Association has finally perfected a means. The natural progression is that now their unruly teenagers can undergo a change to become the perfect children -- teens like future gender bending sexual deviant actor/director John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Shortbus)!
That is so gnarly!
But when former resident Steven Harding (Don Murray, Knotts Landing) returns to Stepford with his new wife (Barbara Eden) and two children (Tammy Lauren, Randall Batinkoff) in tow, he discovers his family's not as easily pushed over as rest of the locals...
I'd kill to be head cheerleader!
This indelibly '80s made for TV sci-fi/horror flick has bunt cake where its brains should be. To say it's a total campfest is an understatement. The one liners are pure cheese, the effects are dreadfully laughable, the pacing often verges on tedious, and in the final act all logic is thrown right out the window (Oh yeah, and Joseph Conlan's score for the hospital scene feels uncannily reminiscent of Carter Burwell's main titles theme from Psycho III.) Still, there's something oddly likable about the movie -- Tammy Lauren in particular seems to have been having a lot of fun with her role, it features an effectively creepy scene or two, and it's infinitely better than the subsequent The Stepford Husbands.
The eyes are the windows to the... hard drive?
As mentioned, it's not available on home video and a truncated 87 minute syndication print is in circulation which runs about 10 minutes shy of the original version. But if you're "a very lucky girl," you just might find a copy online somewhere.
And the award for overacting goes to...
