Yo Mama’s laugh… is so contagious that the CDC issued a travel ban on anyone who came to her New Year’s Eve potluck.
Yo Mama is so big… meaning, she runs the PTA and everyone knows her at the grocery store because she does not take shit from anyone.
Yo Mama is so dumb… she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth. That said, she is also well-read, well-traveled, has a nuanced view of history and politics, a profound understanding of early childhood education, and is a delightful conversationalist. But her grasp of the ever-changing technological landscape leaves something to be desired! Okay … maybe dumb is the wrong word?
Yo Mama is so selfish… which, occasionally, makes sense, because when you consider what is expected of women on a daily basis, relative to work/life balance, she really deserves some time to herself.
Yo Mama is so poor… she eats cereal with a fork to save milk, among many other incredibly resourceful techniques to support her family through tough economic times. In fact, she’s so good at stretching a dollar, I bet you didn’t even know your family was poor, did you?
Yo Mama is so smart… which, if this were the 17th century, would make her seem like a witch, but these days, that’s a good thing, and we’re happy with her mystical powers.
Yo Mama is so old… because she was born a long time ago and has amassed a veritable treasure trove of wisdom and knowledge that she would be happy to share with you if only you’d ask. Why don’t you ask?
Yo Mama is so hairy… she gets featured in articles about modern women bucking arbitrary cultural expectations while feeling comfortable in their own skin and looking beautiful just the way God made them.
Yo Mama is so bossy… she got promoted at her company way faster than anyone expected, had an early retirement, and then started her own company.
Yo Mama is so lucky… she sees the good in her life despite all the hardship and suffering.
Yo Mama is… more than just yo mama. Did you know that? Have you ever taken the time to examine her soul? Her hopes? Her dreams? Her fears? All the complicated, messy, and amazing stuff that comprises the human being who just happens to be … yo mama?
Yo Mama is so weird… that she still wears a pair of pink Reeboks from the ’80s and laughs too loud in movie theaters and attracts awkward stares when she dances in public. It’s almost as if she possesses such a depth of confidence and personal fulfillment that she doesn’t require material trends or the validation of strangers to feel good about herself.
Yo Mama is so lazy… she doesn’t even do the dishes until after she makes dinner.
Yo Mama is so busy… she doesn’t even have time to put up every picture you draw on the refrigerator … and maybe that’s okay. Maybe you don’t need her to pat you on the head every time you color inside the lines. I mean come on, you’re almost 37, dude.
Yo Mama is so dirty… but it’s probably best not to think about that. But your dad knows … stop! Seriously, don’t think about that.
Yo Mama was like a pizza at a Super Bowl party… every guy wanted a piece of her. And yet, she chose your father. And though sometimes she catches herself thinking of all the different lives she could have led, she’s remained steadfast in her commitment to this family whom she loves more than all of the money, glamour, and adoration in the world. Pretty cool, huh?
Yo Mama’s so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.. which actually makes a lot of sense and is a reasonable line of thinking for someone who grew up without a smartphone.
Yo Mama’s so stupid, when I said, “Drinks on the house,” she got a ladder.. which actually demonstrates her sense of humor and commitment to a good time.
Yo Mama’s So Old…you’re lucky she still does everything she does for you. Seriously, her responsibility to you expired a long time ago.
Yo’ momma’s so…
Stop, stop, stop. You’re British. You’ve been to places like Scunthorpe on your summer holidays. You spend a quarter of your life randomly queuing. And for all those reasons, that means saying “Yo’ momma” is completely off the cards.
It’s Mum. Mummy. Mumsy. And if you’re especially Northern, we’ll even accept Mam. But not momma. Just… No.
Your mum’s so stupid she puts lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
If you said this in the schoolyard, you were definitely the type of person who reminded the teacher that they’d forgotten to collect the homework they set.
It’s just, a bit too smart for its own good. A lot like you. Nerd.
Your mum’s so stupid when you said it was chilly outside she grabbed a bowl.
Imagine, for a second, saying this out loud, to The Bully from your school. The guy who grew too tall too fast and seemingly hit puberty a full decade before you.
Do you think he would throw his head back in laughter, take you under his wing and say something like we should be friends? Or, alternatively, would he throw his head back and promptly headbutt you in the face then call you a massive mong?
Your mum’s so stupid, she stared at a carton of apple juice for 12 hours because it said concentrate.
Right, we’re just gonna come out and say it, if you said your mum’s so stupid jokes at school, you were basic and you should feel bad about it.
These jokes failed on many levels but when we get down to it, nobody, not even that one girl who cried at everything in school, has ever cried after being on the receiving end of a your mum’s so stupid joke, which means they’re bad and should be stopped.
Your mum’s so old she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Okay, now we’re getting somewhere.
Sure, it doesn’t make us weep and want a cuddle from our mummy to wipe the tears away, but it’s definitely a step in the right direction.
Your mum’s so fat her profile picture was shot with a drone.
Ah, there we go. The your mum’s so fat one-liner was, and still is, the absolute pinnacle of all comedy.
It’s the ridiculous of it all really. No person is ever as large as in these jokes, but does it get much funnier than imagining a mother, any mother, our mother, your mother, the school bully’s mother, the literal size of a football pitch? So big, she can only be truly captured many many miles above.
Honestly, we think not.
Your mum’s so fat she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
Sometimes, a mum joke is delivered that causes the audience (the group of kids stood around) to reel away, hands to their shocked mouth, like they’ve just witnessed a pay-per-view knockout, before lifting their heads to the sky and in unison, all saying damn.
And you can always tell just how good the mum joke was, by the length of the damn that follows. So with that in mind, this gets a daaamn from us.
Your mum’s so fat and unfamiliar with the gym she calls it The James.
If you said this in the schoolyard to someone, they were definitely running home in floods of tears and getting you detention for the rest of the week. Which was probably deserved to be honest.
Your mum’s so emotionally unavailable you find yourself searching for a maternal figure in every walk of life but obviously never find anyone who can replace the love of a mother.
Okay! This! Is! Too! Real! Now!
Your mum’s so fat she would greatly benefit from a calorie-controlled diet combined with regular exercise.
No really! Stop! It’s not funny anymore! She has an overactive thyroid! It’s not her fault!
Your mum’s so ugly that it affects her self-esteem on a daily basis.
WE’RE NOT CRYING! YOU’RE CRYING!
Your mum’s so ugly her own portraits hang themselves.
Now, there are some your mum jokes so good, that when you say them, it grants you a popularity boost for the rest of your life. A mum joke so good people in your hometown talk about it every time you go back for Christmas. A mum joke so good, that people actually respect your own mum, for birthing the person who said a mum joke that good.
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