Excuse me but do you like Wendys?
- Yes why?
Because you are going to love when deez nuts hit you in the face.
Excuse me but do you Bofa?
- Bofa? I don't think so?
Bofa deez nuts!
Hi there, I heard that you are a huge fan of Dee.
- Dee who?
Deez nuts!
Excuse me but do you like pudding?
- Yes, of course.
Well how about pudding deez nuts in your mouth.
Have you seen the film Bofa?
-Bofa? Who is in it?
Bofa deez nuts.
Have you met my friend Phillip?
- Phillip who?
Phillip on deez nuts.
Hey there buddy, I have a bunch of old albums, would you like 2 cd's?
-Sure thanks
To see deez nutz.
Hey there, what kind of music do you like?
- Oh, I like Green Day, Eminem, you know that type of stuff.
Do you like Imagine Dragons?
-Yeah sure.
Imagine dragging deez nuts over your head.
-Do you know who is coming to our party later on?
Yeah Dee is.
-Dee who?
Deez nuts.
I think you should be a goblin this halloween.
- A goblin? Why is that?
Goblin deez nuts
Do you prefer the Yankees or the Expos?
Expos deez nuts!
OR
Yank on deez nuts!
Hey do you like Chef Boyardee?
Chef Boy-Are-Deez nuts tasty!
You: Dee was asking after you the other day.
Person: who is Dee?
You: Deez Nuts!
Do you like Vanessa Paradis?
-Yeah sure
How about a pair of deez nuts.
Have you heard about this new breed of bunnies that have been emerging all over town?
Oh really?
Yes, they are called Slaw Bunnies.
Oh wow, tell me more.
Slob on Deez Nuts.
Have you heard about the news in Kenya today?
No, tell me more.
Well, Kenya fit deez nuts in your mouth.
Teacher: In all your subjects I am giving you D's.
Student: Well I am also going to be giving you D's.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: Deez nuts!
Have you played that Xbox game "Sea Of Thieves"?
Yes why?
Well Sea Of Thieves Nuts fit in your mouth.
"I was shopping at the local farmers market and purchased some fermented succondese"
"fermented succondese?"
"yes, Fermented succondese nuts"
Hello, there, my guy. I have a bunch of pokemon cards. Wanna check these out?
-Yeah, I would love that, thanks
Okay, take a look at Deez Nutz.
Student: Teacher, I am tired of you giving me D’s every class.
Teacher: I am also tired of you not paying attention in my classes.
Student: I can’t focus when I am thinking about those colossal D’s.
Teacher: What D’s are you talking about?
Student: Deez nuts!
Have you ever heard about the Russian millionaire Ivan Putindese?
– Ivan Putindese?
Yes, the Ivan PutinDEEZ Nuts!
Excuse me but are you Mr. Landese?
– Yes, I am. Why?
I saw you have some of Deez Nuts on your porch.
Excuse me, do you sell Foshake?
– Foshake? I don’t think so?
Foshake Deez Nuts!
Have you ever played World of Warcraft?
-Yes, I have.
Have you played a goblin?
-No, I dont think so.
Dude, you should Goblin on Deez Nuts.
Can you imagine dragons flying in the sky?
Yes, I can.
Then Imagine dragging Deez Nuts across your mouth.
You: teacher, what’s 4 x 2?
Teacher: eight
You: eight Deez Nuts
You: Dee asked me out yesterday.
Friend: who’s this guy Dee?
You: Deez Nuts
Do you want me to buy one of these?
-Yeah sure
How about two of Deez Nuts.
“I’m sorry that Suko never called you back”
“Who is Suko?”
“SUKON DEEZ NUTS”
Where’s your munyayo?
– Huh? What’s that?
DEEZ NUTS
Hey bro, I need some of these.
-Some of what?
Soma Deez Nuts
What size are you wearing?
-I’m wearing double D’s. Why do you ask?
Cus I want to get some more of Deez Nuts.
Next: 86 Dark Humour Jokes
Afghan person: Assalamu alaykum, what will happen to the DN under Taliban rule?
American person: What do you mean by DN?
Afghan person: Deez nuts
Hey, I met someone at the store today who said that they were actually ugondese.”
-Where’s that, I’ve never heard of it.
Set location to UgonDeez nuts
Hey, are you hungry or thirsty?
– Yes, I am.
You can have some of Deez nuts.
Do you like tulips?
-Yes, why?
Cus you’re gonna love your two lips on Deez Nuts!
Good morning. I would like to know who’s in charge around here?
– Well, Deas is in charge. Do you know him?
Nope, I dont. Can you give me his number or his Instagram?
– Sure, if you want to have Deez Nuts so bad, I’ll give them to you.
A conversation in a bakery:
Hello, is everything fresh around here
Yes, everything is fresh from today.
– Okay, can I get a sample of something?
– Yes, what would you like to try?
– Let’s see, I wonder how Deez Nuts taste.
Honey, why are you leaving them here?
– Leaving what?
Leaving Deez nuts in your mouth!
Me: Have you ever been to Chewons?
You: No. What’s Chewons?
Me: Chew on Deez Nuts
Do you still have any music tapes or discs?
-Only albums.
Well, just look at Deez nuts.
I saw you dancing yesterday
-What? You saw me dancing where?
You were at the club. I saw your hoodie.
-What hoodie?
Who Deez Nuts
Next: 50 Offensive Jokes So Filthy You’ll Need A Shower
Me: Do you find parodies funny?
Friend: Yeah, sometimes I do.
Me: Well, how about a pair of Deez Nuts Enya Mouth?!
Mom, can I borrow your car?
-No, you can’t. Why don’t you borrow Deez nuts!?
Mom…
Did you like the plot in this film?
Nah. I believe we can come up with a better one.
So you want to come and film Deeeeeez Nuts!
Do you guys want some of my goodies?
– Yes, we do!
Okay, here’s a bag of good Deez Nuts!
How did your doctor’s appointment go?
-It was OK, but I have a vitamin D deficiency. I need to spend more time outside.
I can help you to get that D.
-How?
I’m willing to give you some of Deez Nuts!
Have you seen the movie starring Robin Williams called House of D?
-House of D? No.
House of Deez Nuts!
Have you been to an expo?
-Yes, I love expos.
Expose Deez Nuts.
Do you drink orange juice?
-Yes, I do.
Did you know that the orange juice SunnyD is bad for you?
– I dont know the…
Sunny Deez Nuts!
Do you like boats?
-Yes.
What is your favorite type of boat?
-I like fishing boats.
How about tugboats?
-They are powerful
Tug on Deez Nutz
Wanna join me on a trip to The Andes?
-The Andes? Where’s that supposed to be?
It’s right next to the valley of AnDeez Nuts!
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