Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game? Because they couldn’t find their bats.
What did the mummy say to the detective? Let’s wrap this case up.
What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween party? Because he had no-body to go with.
What do ghosts serve for dessert? I scream!
How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
Why do witches use brooms? Because vacuum cleaners are far too heavy!
Where does Dracula keep his valuables? In a blood bank.
Why don’t mummies have hobbies? Because they’re too wrapped up in their work.
Why did the cyclops give up teaching? Because he only had one pupil.
What should you do when zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween.
Where does Dracula stay in New York? The Vampire State Building.
What do you call a witch at the beach? A sandwich.
I have 24 legs, 12 arms and 6 heads, what am I? A liar!
What happened when the young witch misbehaved? She was sent to her broom.
Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
What's a ghost's favorite dessert? I-Scream!
Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store!
How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo hooing.
Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get ahead in life.
What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
What do birds say on Halloween? "Trick or tweet!"
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy? At the ghost-ery store!
What do owls say when they go trick or treating? "Happy Owl-ween!"
What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? Booberries!
Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with? His ghoul friend.
What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy? "Trick-or-feet!"
Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat? Boo jeans.
What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!
What happens when a vampire goes in the snow? Frost bite!
What do you call two witches living together? Broommates
What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centres.
What do birds say on Halloween? Twick or tweet.
What is a witch’s favourite class? Spelling.
What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos.
What’s a ghost’s favourite dessert? I scream.
How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.
Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
Where do ghosts like to trick-or-treat? Dead ends.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich.
How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
Why are ghosts so bad at lying? Because you can see right through them!
What does a vampire fear the most? Tooth decay.
Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newlywebbed.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Shamboo!
Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? It raises their spirits.
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