Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
They lactose.
How did the cow know he was noble?
He was a Sir Loin.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer’s hands were cold.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster?
Roost beef.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull dozer.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
Why did the Secret Service surround the president with dozens of cows?
They were trying to beef up security.
What’s a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog?
Hound beef.
What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A baaaaaaad mooooood.
What does a farmer talk about when she’s milking a cow?
Udder nonsense.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
“It’s pasture bedtime.”
What did the cow say to its therapist?
“I feel seen but not herd.”
What did the cow say to all her friends?
“I am legen-dairy.”
What did the Auntie cow say to her niece?
“You’re so udderly cute!”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, silly. Cow say MOOOOOOOO.
What do you call two ducks and a cow?
Quackers and milk.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow, wh —
MOOOOOO!
What happens when a cow laughs?
Milk comes out of its nose.
What’s a cow’s favorite TV show?
Dr. Moo.
What do you get when a cow jumps on a trampoline?
Milkshake.
What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moosicals.
How did the cow get to Mars?
It flew through udder space.
How do you get a cow to keep quiet?
Press the moooote button.
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake!
What do cows eat for breakfast?
Moosli.
How do farmers count their cows?
They use a cowculator.
What do you call cattle that tell jokes?
Laughing stock.
What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom.
What happens when you talk to a cow?
It goes in one ear and out the udder!
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic!
What do you call a fight between two herds of cows?
A cattle battle.
What time is it when a cow sits on your hat?
Time to get a new hat!
Animal News Network had to fire its bovine news anchorman
Because it was unrelia-bull.
What do you call a strong cow?
Beefy.
Why did the two cows hate each other?
They had beef.
What did the cow and bull do for their first date?
Dinner and a moooovie.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going off to school?
“Bison!”
Why do cows read magazines?
They love the cattle-logs.
Déjà Moo is the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
What did the cow say to the cheese?
“I am your father.”
What do you call a cow that’s laying down?
Ground beef.
Why don’t bulls play archery?
They might hit a bulls-eye.
Where do cows get all their medicine?
The farmacy.
How does a cow become invisible?
Through camooflage.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
Blue cheese.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana.
The steaks have never been so high!
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
Why does a milking stool only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder.
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them?
In case they bypassed the milky way!
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.
Where do cows go on holiday?
Moo Zealand.
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
Why don’t cows have any money?
Farmers milk them dry.
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