Biologists have recently produced immortal frogs by removing their vocal cords. They can't croak.
The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.
On the surface of things, whales are always blowing it.
The marine biology seminars weren't created for entertainment, but for educational porpoises.
The fish are getting annoying with their octopus neighbor. He tentacles late at night.
The tuna married the swordfish because he was such a catch.
Marine mammals are simply otter this world.
Crustaceans only think of themselves. They're so shellfish.
This reef is the strongest part of the ocean because it has so many mussels.
I can't tell if this fish is lying; she's being so koi.
A horse is a very stable animal.
If you hear it from the horse's mouth, you're listening to a neigh-sayer.
After the horse ate all of his hay, he had a baleful look about him.
One horse said to another, “Your pace is familiar, but I don't remember the mane.”
The farmer bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.
The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.
It's no fun telling jokes to cattle; they've herd it all.
Why was the goose jealous of the sheep? Her husband kept saying "I love ewe."
The pig got out again, but don't worry — I tractor down.
Why did the calf need to go to bed? Her mother told her it was pasture bedtime.
What do you get if you cross a setter and a pointer at Christmas time? You get a pointsetter.
A cat ate some cheese and waited for a mouse with baited breath.
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
Don't trust a Great Dane to tell you the truth — all they have are tall tails.
It's raining cats and dogs, so don't step in a poodle!
Cats have a great sense of humor. They're a-mew-sed by hiss-terical jokes!
My dog's not misbehaving on his walk; he's just renegotiating the terms of his leash.
Losing your feline friend can be a cat-astrophe.
Cats are wonderful friends because they have great purr-sonalities.
Dogs are such good companions because they're so paw-sitive.
Scientists have created a flea from scratch.
Insects that make honey are always on their best beehive-iour.
When a new hive is done, bees have a house-swarming party.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
It's hard to know which bug to vote for, but I'm choosing the lesser of two weevils.
Spiders are great Internet consultants. They're always finding bugs in the web.
What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie-talkie.
Why are people who carry bees considered good-looking? Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
Why do male ants float while female ants sink? They're buoy-ant.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
The flock of doves decided to stage a coo.
Peacocks are meticulous because they show attention to de-tail.
The duck said to the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
It's amazing how eagles catch their prey; they must be really talon-ted.
Birds are grouchy in the morning because their bills are over-dew.
When a vulture flies, he takes carrion luggage.
An angry bird landed on a doorknob. Then it flew off the handle.
The chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide.
Nature reserves are an eagle-opportunity employer.
It's OK to watch an elephant bathe, as they usually have their trunks on.
Don't get into business with a cheetah — cheetahs never prosper.
A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom.
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
Don't trust that big cat; he's lion.
Deer couples always spend time apart. It makes the heart grow fawn-der.
Squirrels always remember where they hide their nuts because they use acorn-nyms.
Giraffes aren't great comedians; their jokes always go over our heads.
My pet bird fell in love with a light brown rodent. Her love is in-tan-gerbil.
Marsupials always get the job because they have the best koala-ifications.
You ain’t got muffin on me.
Just dill with it!
He’s nacho poppa!
Let’s taco ‘bout it!
Do you want to ketchup?
I donut know how I would live without you.
I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn't reach the meat that was on the top shelf. He refused, saying that the steaks were too high.
We love high-quality produce that's not too thick, so we won't settle for meaty-okra vegetables.
Why was the clumsy farmer a great DJ? Because he was always dropping beets.
The mushroom is always the hit of the party — he's a real fungi.
english puns
funny puns one liners
funny puns for adults
funny jokes
horrible but funny puns
dirty puns
funny jokes
funny puns, one liners
english puns
dirty puns
horrible but funny puns
funny puns for adults