Yo Mama’s laugh… is so contagious that the CDC issued a travel ban on anyone who came to her New Year’s Eve potluck.
Yo Mama is so big… meaning, she runs the PTA and everyone knows her at the grocery store because she does not take shit from anyone.
Yo Mama is so dumb… she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth. That said, she is also well-read, well-traveled, has a nuanced view of history and politics, a profound understanding of early childhood education, and is a delightful conversationalist. But her grasp of the ever-changing technological landscape leaves something to be desired! Okay … maybe dumb is the wrong word?
Yo Mama is so selfish… which, occasionally, makes sense, because when you consider what is expected of women on a daily basis, relative to work/life balance, she really deserves some time to herself.
Yo Mama is so poor… she eats cereal with a fork to save milk, among many other incredibly resourceful techniques to support her family through tough economic times. In fact, she’s so good at stretching a dollar, I bet you didn’t even know your family was poor, did you?
Yo Mama is so smart… which, if this were the 17th century, would make her seem like a witch, but these days, that’s a good thing, and we’re happy with her mystical powers.
Yo Mama is so old… because she was born a long time ago and has amassed a veritable treasure trove of wisdom and knowledge that she would be happy to share with you if only you’d ask. Why don’t you ask?
Yo Mama is so hairy… she gets featured in articles about modern women bucking arbitrary cultural expectations while feeling comfortable in their own skin and looking beautiful just the way God made them.
Yo Mama is so bossy… she got promoted at her company way faster than anyone expected, had an early retirement, and then started her own company.
Yo Mama is so lucky… she sees the good in her life despite all the hardship and suffering.
Yo Mama is… more than just yo mama. Did you know that? Have you ever taken the time to examine her soul? Her hopes? Her dreams? Her fears? All the complicated, messy, and amazing stuff that comprises the human being who just happens to be … yo mama?
Yo Mama is so weird… that she still wears a pair of pink Reeboks from the ’80s and laughs too loud in movie theaters and attracts awkward stares when she dances in public. It’s almost as if she possesses such a depth of confidence and personal fulfillment that she doesn’t require material trends or the validation of strangers to feel good about herself.
Yo Mama is so lazy… she doesn’t even do the dishes until after she makes dinner.
Yo Mama is so busy… she doesn’t even have time to put up every picture you draw on the refrigerator … and maybe that’s okay. Maybe you don’t need her to pat you on the head every time you color inside the lines. I mean come on, you’re almost 37, dude.
Yo Mama is so dirty… but it’s probably best not to think about that. But your dad knows … stop! Seriously, don’t think about that.
Yo Mama was like a pizza at a Super Bowl party… every guy wanted a piece of her. And yet, she chose your father. And though sometimes she catches herself thinking of all the different lives she could have led, she’s remained steadfast in her commitment to this family whom she loves more than all of the money, glamour, and adoration in the world. Pretty cool, huh?
Yo Mama’s so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.. which actually makes a lot of sense and is a reasonable line of thinking for someone who grew up without a smartphone.
Yo Mama’s so stupid, when I said, “Drinks on the house,” she got a ladder.. which actually demonstrates her sense of humor and commitment to a good time.
Yo Mama’s So Old…you’re lucky she still does everything she does for you. Seriously, her responsibility to you expired a long time ago.
Yo Mama is so old, Adam and Eve were at her graduation ceremony.
Yo Mama's appetite is so huge, even after eating an elephant for breakfast, she demanded for a whale as desert.
Yo Mama's so disgusting, she keeps maggots as pets.
Yo Mama's so stupid she thinks Los Angeles is where God lives with all his angels.
Yo Mama's appetite is so huge she uses a truck to carry her popcorn to the movies.
THIS BOOK WILL: teach your kids how to read fluently; help your kids relax and be stress-free; reduce the time the kids spend in front of the television screen; help them crack jokes easily; boost their self-confidence in public speaking; and promote their emotional intelligence.
Yo momma's got a wooden leg with a real foot.
Yo momma's got a leather wig with suede sideburns.
Yo momma's arm-pits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles, cars slow down.
Yo momma so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks!!
Yo momma so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
Yo momma so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!
Yo momma so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma!
Yo momma so ugly, they know what time she were born, because her face stopped the clock!
Yo momma so ugly, when she cries the tears run up her face.
Yo momma so ugly, her mother had to feed her with a sling shot.
Yo momma so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock!
Yo momma so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
Yo momma so dumb she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo momma so dumb it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo momma so dumb she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo momma so dumb she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo momma so dumb, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Yo momma so dumb, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
Yo momma so dumb when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Yo momma so dumb, she got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Yo momma so dumb she sold her car to get gasoline money!
Yo momma so dumb, she sold the house to pay the mortgage!
Yo momma so dumb, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it!
Yo momma so dumb she had to call the Operator to get the number for 911!
Yo momma so dumb, they had to burn down the school to get her out of second grade.
Yo momma so dumb when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
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