What do you call a 60-year-old who hasn’t reached puberty? A late boomer.
My high school bully still takes my lunch money. But on the upside, he makes great fries.
Were any famous men and women born on your birthday? No, only babies.
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
What do you call high school kids who haven’t been able to go to school because of COVID-19? Quaranteens.
How does the moon cut its hair? E-clipse it.
How do Minecraft players celebrate? They throw block parties!
How do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream.
What do you call hiking U.S. college students? The walking debt.
Why do pimples make horrible prisoners? Because they keep breaking out!
What did the grape say when he was pinched? Nothing, he gave a little wine.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? Big hands.
What is 47 + 11 + 82 + 161 + 99 + 5? A headache.
What do pre-teen ducks hate? Voice quacks.
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank!
Why do sharks swim in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Knock knock. Who’s there? A little old lady? A little old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel!
What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don’t use it at all? Students.
What’s the difference between the ACT and SAT? One letter.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!
What does a school and a plant have in common? STEM.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common? The Court.
What book won’t teachers give you credit for reading? Facebook.
Why did the elephant paint himself different colors? So he could hide in the crayon box!
Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had so many problems!
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed some space.
What are two things you can’t have for breakfast? Lunch and dinner.
What’s a crocodile’s favorite app? Snap!
What is a cow without a map? Udderly lost.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to dance with.
What did one egg say to another? You crack me up.
Some kids told me they’d give me $20 to hang out with them. Turns out it was just clique bait.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
Why did the selfie go to prison? It was framed.
Have you heard where the word “studying” came from? Students-dying.
What did the punching bag say to the boxer? Hit me baby one more time.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.
Why can’t a T-rex clap their hands? Because they’re extinct.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.
How do you know when you’re desperate for an answer? You look at the second page of Google search results.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
How do all the oceans say hello to each other? They wave!
Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies!
What do a judge and an English teacher have in common? Sentences. Lots and lots of sentences.
Why don’t history teachers want to teach about the Middle Ages? It takes too many knights.
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
What animal needs to wear a wig? A bald eagle!
What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker!
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
Boys: We rule because God made us first! God made you girls last!
Girls: Well, obviously God made a rough draft before a final copy.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
jokes for adults
jokes for 12 year olds
teenage jokes one-liners
funny jokes for 11-13 year olds
teenage riddles and jokes
jokes of the day
camp jokes for 14 year olds
jokes for 20 year olds