"What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?" "Quack, Quack!"
"Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?" "He sensed fowl play."
"What key has legs and can't open a door?" "A turkey."
"Why did they let the turkey join the band?" "Because he had his own drumsticks."
"What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?" "He got the stuffing knocked out of him!"
"Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at dinner?" "Because he will gobble it up."
"If you call a big turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one?" "A goblet."
"What do you call a running turkey?" "Fast food."
"What's blue and covered in feathers?" "A turkey holding its breath."
"What's the best song to play while cooking a turkey?" "All about that baste."
"Why did the turkey cross the road?" "He wanted people to think he was a chicken."
"Why was the turkey put in jail?" "The police suspected fowl play."
"How come the turkey didn't eat dinner?" "He was already stuffed."
"What did the turkey say to the computer?" "Google, google."
"What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost?" "A poultry-geist."
"What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes?" "Squash casserole."
"What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?" "The casse-role."
"What's Frankenstein's favorite Thanksgiving dish?" "Monster mash potatoes and grave-y."
"What's a turkey's favorite dessert?" "Peach gobbler!"
"Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?" "It had 24 carrots."
"What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?" "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
"Why did the cranberries turn red?" "Because they saw the turkey dressing."
"My grandma made mashed potatoes from a box. That's it. That's the joke."
"What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?" "A har-vest."
"Why didn't the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey?" "There was no thyme!"
"What's a turkey's favorite Thanksgiving food?" "Nothing—it's already stuffed."
"Which holiday is Dracula's favorite?" "Fangs-giving."
"What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?" "The turkey trot."
"What instrument does a turkey play?" "The drumsticks!"
"What kind of key can't open doors?" "A tur-key."
"What kind of noise does a limping turkey make?" "Wobble, wobble."
"What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?" "Plymouth Rock."
"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?" "Pilgrims."
"Why didn't the pilgrim want to make the bread?" "It's a crummy job."
"What do you a call the age of a pilgrim?" "Pilgrimage."
"Why do pilgrims' pants always fall down?" "Because they wear their buckles on their hats!"
"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Norma Lee." "Norma Lee who?" "Norma Lee I don't drink eat this much!"
"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Tamara." "Tamara who?" "Tamara we'll eat all the leftovers!"
"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Annie." "Annie who?" "Annie body seen the turkey?"
"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Arthur." "Arthur who?" "Arthur any leftovers?"
"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Don." "Don who?" "Don eat all the gravy, I want some more."
"I'm all about that baste."
"Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!"
"My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey."
"I only have pies for you."
"Hey I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe."
"Let's get basted."
"Gobble 'til you wobble."
"Oh my gourd, I ate too much."
What Thanksgiving treat is the most popular at the kids’ table? Crayon-berry sauce.
If Pilgrims were still alive, what would they be known for? Their age.
What sound does a turkey’s phone make? “Wing, wing.”
What happens when cranberries get sad? They turn into blueberries.
Why was the soup at Thanksgiving so pricey? It had 24 carrots.
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving? The G.
Why did the turkey refuse dessert? He was already stuffed.
The day after the holiday, what did the fridge say when it was asked, “Is everything alright over here?” “No, everything is all leftover here!”
What makes Thanksgiving go as smoothly as possible? When everyone has been given a designated (casse)role.
Why was the turkey asked to join a band? He could bring his own drumsticks.
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