EPISODE 86

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DINADAN : 

Tristan?!

[ woops back to cardiff! the song in the background is suô gan, from the empire of the sun soundtrack. ]

AGLOVALE : 

Hmm? 

BRIANE : 

You’re awake…

How are you feeling?

AGLOVALE : 

What happened? 

BRIANE : 

Your illness flared up.

It seems you’re down with a bad chest cold, aren’t you? 

Lamorak carried you here, she…

… he is quite strong.

And Percival left.

He always does this, whenever a situation makes him anxious.

How long have you had this cough for?

Does it pain you?

AGLOVALE :

 …

… Yes.

BRIANE : 

Has it gotten worse?

AGLOVALE : 

What does it matter to you?

Why are you here?

You didn’t give the impression you were ready to leave North Wales,

or even to see us there, if I recall correctly. 

BRIANE : 

[ she presses her hands together. ]

… Merlin came to tell me you would be here.

I wanted to see you again.

Despite my fears, despite…

… my sorrow.

I am not hoping for forgiveness,

or even understanding. 

You were quite vehement on the matter, last time we saw each other.

AGLOVALE : 

…

And yet, I do understand you, Mother.

… When I saw you again, last year, for the first time in fifteen years…

I was more touched and more hurt than I was willing to admit.

Most of all, I was enraged,

because I understood you all too well.

You see, seven years ago,

Lancelot broke her vows to Arthur.

She vanished off the face of the earth.

Arthur ended up getting worried, and asked us to go look for her. 

My search brought me to a faraway kingdom,

where a duel wounded me, and the weather was nearly the end of me.

That was when

the daughter of a local lord found me.

I took a long time to recover.

I thought about staying there,

abandoning it all, and leaving my past torments⎯well, in the past.

But I could not shirk my responsibilities as a king.

I thought about taking her with me.

But

the idea of watching this child grow up in the same environment I did

was unbearable.

I had to make a choice,

and I chose my duty as a king.

I…

… never told Lamorak.

Or anyone else, for that matter. 

Out of shame, perhaps,

or guilt, undoubtedly. 

But I remember,

this hollow feeling in my chest when I realized that I would probably never see them again.

That this child would grow up without me.

That I protected myself from the pain my status would have inflicted upon them, and in doing so…

… I abandoned them.

So I told myself you, too

must have thought about this often.

All my resentment, all my heartache, I couldn’t…

… show you clemency, despite everything.

When you explained yourself to me, it made me furious,

for was that not the same selfish reasoning through which I persuaded myself I’d done the right thing? 

Did I not…

…

My apologies, Mother… 

BRIANE : 

Oh, my darling… 

[ she hugs him and kisses the top of his head. ]

I have no right to judge you.

Shh, everything will be alright…

You… unknowingly made the right choice.

I’ll explain this to you…

I’ll explain everything.

[ back to tintagel we go! ]

PALAMEDES : 

I don’t remember much of Babylon.

Colors, palm trees… 

The memory of a great gate.

I know that if I were to return, I wouldn’t feel at home there.

I can only claim myself of Babylon through my mother’s bloodline.

But I don’t belong in Babylon,

no more than I belong in Britain,

which everyone has made abundantly clear.

For the Britons, Babylon is nothing but a faraway land, if they even know its name.

There’s disappointment, when I introduce myself.

And my resentment, for not being the one everyone wishes to see.

For not really being one of them.

Those who are true knights of Britain, of the Round Table.

Those who are chosen, expected, celebrated. 

My name features on writings that aren’t about me.

I don’t aspire to be the best knight, or even to excel, but…

I just want to really feel like I belong to something.

To not be unwanted, forgotten.

To become the stuff of legends.

To finally stand a chance against Tristan.

I can blame him for relegating my achievements,

my friendship,

and my love to the background in favor of his,

but all he does is exist. 

And no matter how much I strive to defy him, to make an enemy of him…

… I’ll never replace him. 

BREUSE : 

Looks like I hit a nerve. ( Hehe )

If it makes you feel any better, I can let you win, with proper payment.

Breaking the code of honor gives you something of a reputation. Trust me, I know what I’m talking abo⎯

PALAMEDES : 

I didn’t become a knight so I could cheat and abuse my position.

I’ve seen men take advantage of their power all too often.

They act as if destroying lives is within their rights, just because their status allows them to lawfully do so.

Honorless men like you forced my mother to leave Babylon by taking her lands from her.

I became a knight to put wrongs to right, and bring others justice.

BREUSE : 

So, basically like everyone else in the field?

That’s not how you become a legend, you know.

PALAMEDES : 

You know what? 

Hang the legends.

At least I’ll get the satisfaction of fucking you up. 

BREUSE : 

( Hehe. )

That’s more like it. 

ROUND TABLE TRIVIA

Palamedes is the name of a 13th century romance, of which the surviving manuscripts have, ironically, little to do with Palamedes, to the point the text is often renamed after a different knight.

Palamedes, the romance, is therefore mostly about the story of Meliodas, Tristan’s father!

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