Sunday Family Humour 9th February
Sunday Family Humour 9th February
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures and cartoons and presentations and humour or all the family
Zen for People Who Take Life Too Seriously
Thanks to David H.
1. SAVE THE WHALES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET.
2. A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE NIGHT.
3. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.
4. I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WASN'T FAMILIAR TERRITORY.
5. 42.7 PERCENT OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.
6. 99 PERCENT OF LAWYERS GIVE THE REST A BAD NAME.
7. I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.
8. HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.
9. REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE BELOW AVERAGE.
10. HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, THINKS SLOWEST.
11. DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.
12. THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE.
13. I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.
14. SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.
15. MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.
16. A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.
17. CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM VENDING MACHINES.
18. GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT'LL BE A GREAT TRADE!
19. PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.
20 .ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST, AND BE PROUD OF IT!
21. IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.
22 .HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN PSYCHO-KINESIS? RAISE MY HAND.
23 .OK, SO WHAT'S THE SPEED OF DARK?
24 .HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?
25. IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING.
26. WHEN EVERYTHING IS COMING YOUR WAY, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE.
27. HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW.
28. EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.
29. IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS?
30. HOW MUCH DEEPER WOULD THE OCEAN BE WITHOUT SPONGES?
31. EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES.
32. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?
33. I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.
34 .I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER.
35. WHY DO PSYCHICS HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR NAME?
36. INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED.
37. JUST REMEMBER - IF THE WORLD DID NOT SUCK, WE WOULD ALL FALL OFF.
38. LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK.
No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced
Sailplane
Thanks to David H.
Foot Launchable
Ground Launchable
Ground towable
Air towable and...
Foot Landable!
The engineering is just awesome.
Love of Dogs
Thanks to David M.
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Sounds Fresh
Thanks to Ray O'.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor .
My mother in law had a pain beneath her left breast . turned out to be a trick knee.
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle- Keep away from children .
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
How close can you build next to a train track?
Thanks to David H.
Boeing Clipper
Thanks to Ray O'.
If You Thought Air Travel Was Luxurious In the 1970s,
Check Out What It Was Like Aboard The WW2-Era Boeing Clipper:
Clipper passengers took their meals at real tables, not their seats.
For most travelers in the 21st century, flying is a dreary experience, full of inconvenience, indignity, and discomfort.
That wasn't the case in the late 1930s, when those with the money to afford trans-oceanic flight got to take the Boeing Model 314, better known as the Clipper.
Even Franklin Roosevelt used the plane, celebrating his 61st birthday on board.
Between 1938 and 1941, Boeing built 12 of the jumbo planes for Pan American World Airways.
The 314 offered a range of 3,500 miles — enough to cross either the Atlantic or Pacific —and room for 74 passengers onboard.
Of course, modern aviation offers an amazing first class experience (and it's a whole lot safer), but nothing in the air today matches the romanticism of crossing the ocean in the famed Clipper.
Thanks to the Pan Am Historical Foundation for sharing its photos. The foundation is currently working on a documentary about Pan American World Airways and the adventure of the flying boat age. Find out more here.
The Model 314's nickname Clipper came from an especially fast type of sailing ship, used in the 19th century.
The ship analogy was appropriate, as the Clipper landed on the water, not runways.
Here's a diagram of the different areas of the plane
.
On Pan Am flights, passengers had access to dressing rooms and a dining salon that could be converted into a lounge or bridal suite.
The galley served up meals catered from four-star hotels.
If you want to sit at a table to eat with other people these days, you have to fly in a private jet.
There was room for a crew of 10 to serve as many as 74 passengers.
On overnight flights, the 74 seats could be turned into 40 bunks for comfortable sleeping.
The bunk beds came with curtains for privacy.
On the 24-hour flights across the Atlantic, crew members could conk out on these less luxurious cots.
Unlike some modern jets that come with joysticks, the Clipper had controls that resembled car steering wheels.
Navigating across the ocean used to require more manpower in the air.
The lavatory wasn't too fancy, but it did have a urinal — something you never see in today's commercial jets, where space is at a premium.
The ladies lounge had stools where female passengers could sit and do their makeup.
The Clipper made its maiden trans-Atlantic voyage on June 28, 1939.
But once the US entered World War II, the Clipper was pressed into service to transport materials and personnel. In 1943, President Franklin Roosevelt celebrated his 61st birthday on board.
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