Sunday Family Humour 18th May

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour


Parable of the Jewish Samurai

Thanks to Murray S.
Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai.
After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Jewish Samurai.


"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.

The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box, and released a fly.
He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!

"What a feat!" said the Emperor.
"Number Two Samurai, show me what you do."


The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly.
He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.


"That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?"

The Jewish samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly,
drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room.
But the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said,
 "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead."


"Dead?" replied the Jewish Samurai.
“Dead is easy ~ but circumcised?"


Look What's Ahead

Thanks to Paula S.

Look whats ahead



Beautiful Photos

Thanks to David M.


 Incredible shot of Spiral Aurora Borealis
Beautiful Photos 1

   Hidden Beach , Mexico
Beautiful Photos 10.jpg2

 The Rare and Mysterious Grinning Monkey Orchids

Beautiful Photos 3

   Hobbiton, New Zealand.  (Looks like a story book picture.)
Beautiful Photos 4

 Triglav National Park near the town of Bovec , Slovenia
 
Beautiful Photos 5
   Turquoise Ice at Northern Lake Baikal , Russia 

Beautiful Photos 6

 Arabian Sand Cat
Beautiful Photos 7

   Bora Bora
Beautiful Photos 8

 Notre Dame Church - Montréal , Canada
Beautiful Photos 9

   Molyvos village in Lesvos , Greece .
Beautiful Photos 10

 Turquoise, Plitvice Lake , Croatia

Beautiful Photos 11

   Great picture of a Walrus's reaction after being presented with a fish cake for his birthday.
Beautiful Photos 12

 Skaftafell Ice Cave in Iceland
Beautiful Photos 13

   Most beautiful waterfall in the world.
 
Beautiful Photos 14

 Waitomo Glow Worm Caves, New Zealand
Beautiful Photos 16

   Tunnel of Love , Ukraine
Beautiful Photos 17


 The beautiful Ice Cream Tulips

Beautiful Photos 18

   Mount Roraima - one of the oldest geological formations
.
Beautiful Photos 19



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The Irish Furniture Dealer

Thanks to Lee

Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris
Furniture Dealer 1

to see what he could find. 
  
    
After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.
Furniture Dealer 2

As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Furniture Dealer 3


Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table,
Furniture Dealer 4

asked him  something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.

      He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass
Furniture Dealer 5
and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it,
Furniture Dealer 5

and she nodded.
They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe
that featured a small group playing romantic music.
  
   
 
They ordered dinner,
after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.
Furniture Dealer 7
 
She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Furniture Dealer 8

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.
Furniture Dealer 9

To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business
 
furniture dealer with no idea
 

Tony's Laugh for Today

Thanks to Tony H.

Tony's Laugh For Today



Kunming's Stone Forest

Thanks to Lee

Stone Forest



Police Humour With Dogs

Thanks to Paul S.
 
Police dogs 1
  
Police dogs 2

 
Police dogs 3
  
Police dogs 4

 
Police dogs 5
  
Police dogs 6


 
Police dogs 7
  
Police dogs 8

 
Police dogs 9
  
Police dogs 10

 
Police dogs 11
  
Police dogs 12

 
Police dogs 13
  
Police dogs 14

 
Police dogs 15
  
Police dogs 16

 
Police dogs 17
  
Police dogs 18




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