Sunday Family Humour 27th April Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Why Jewish Daughters Need Psychotherapy

Thanks to Ray O'

Jewish Mother: "Hello?"

Daughter: "Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?"

Jewish Mother: "You're going out?"

Daughter: "Yes."

Jewish Mother: "With whom?"

Daughter: "With a friend."

Jewish Mother: "I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man."

Daughter: "I didn't leave him. He left me."

Jewish Mother: "You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies."

Daughter: "I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids? "

Jewish Mother: "I never left you to go out with anybody except your father."

Daughter: "There are lots of things that you did, and I don't."

Jewish Mother: "What are you hinting at?"

Daughter: "Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight."

Jewish Mother: "You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?"

Daughter: "My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!"

Jewish Mother: "So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?"

Daughter: "He's not a loser."

Jewish Mother: "A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite."

Daughter: "I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?"

Jewish Mother: "Poor children with such a mother."

Daughter: "Such a what?"

Jewish Mother: "With no stability. No wonder your husband left you."

Daughter: "ENOUGH!!!"

Jewish Mother "Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too!"

Daughter: "Now you're worried about the loser?"

Jewish Mother: "Ah, so you see he IS a loser. I spotted him immediately."

Daughter: "Goodbye, mother."

Jewish Mother: "Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over?”

Daughter: "I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!"

Jewish Mother: "If you never go out, how do expect to meet anyone?

Cold and Snow Funnies

Thanks to David H.

Because its 106 degrees fahrenheit in Vientiane today.

British Humour

Thanks to Captain Bob

BRITISHHUMOR

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The Haircut

Thanks to Butch

Blessed are those that can give without remembering, and take without forgetting.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you ' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Man in cement mixer

Thanks to Unslave Me

You Don't Have To Speak Chinese

Thanks to Ray

Collection of Sundry Pictures

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