Sunday Family Humour 8th June Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

The Bagpiper

Thanks to Steven B.

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life. As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently, I'm still lost....it's a man thing.

DEFINITION OF FRIEND

Thanks to Paula S.

I think this is the greatest and truest description I've ever heard for a

Friend

Friends .... They love you,

But they're not your lover

They care for you,

But they're not from your family

They're ready to share your pain,

But they're not your blood relation.

They are ...... FRIENDS! !!!!

A True friend...

Scolds like a DAD....

Cares like a MOM...

Teases like a SISTER...

Irritates like a BROTHER...

And finally loves you more than a LOVER.

Send to all your good friends

Even me if I'm one of them...

The nicest place to be is in someone'sTHOUGHTS!

The safest place to be is in someone's PRAYERS!

And the best place to be is in

GODS HANDS

To receive the weekly link to the latest Sunday Family humour,

send an email to dgwest7@gmail.com

saying subscribe Sunday Family Humour.

No costs, nothing else needed. Welcome and thank you.

Some Terrific Pics

Thanks to Lee

Comments made in the year 1955!

Thanks to Paul S.

I' ll tell you one thing, if things

keep going the way they are,

it 's going to be impossible to

buy a week's groceries for $10.00.

Have you seen the new cars

coming out next year? It won't

be long before $1,000.00 will

only buy a used one.

If cigarettes keep going up in

price, I'm going to quit; 20 cents

a pack is ridiculous.

Did you hear the post office is

thinking about charging 7 cents

just to mail a letter.

If they raise the minimum wage

to $1.00, nobody will be able to

hire outside help at the store.

When I first started driving, who

would have thought gas would

someday cost 25 cents a gallon.

Guess we'd be better off leaving

the car in the garage.

I'm afraid to send my kids to the

movies any more. Ever since they

let Clark Gable get by with saying

DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND,

it seems every new movie has

either HELL or DAMN in it.

I read the other day where some

scientist thinks it's possible to put

a man on the moon by the end of

the century. They even have some

fellows they call astronauts

preparing for it down in Texas .

Did you see where some baseball

player just signed a contract for

$50,000 a year just to play ball?

It would'nt surprise me if someday

they'll be making more than the

President.

I never thought I'd see the day

all our kitchen appliances would

be electric. They're even making

electric typewriters now.

It's too bad things are so tough

nowadays. I see where a few

married women are having to

work to make ends meet.

It won't be long before young

couples are going to have to hire

someone to watch their kids so

they can both work.

I'm afraid the Volkswagen car

is going to open the door to a

whole lot of foreign business.

Thank goodness I won't live to

see the day when the Government

takes half our income in taxes. I

sometimes wonder if we are

electing the best people to

government.

The fast food restaurant is

convenient for a quick meal,

but I seriously doubt they

will ever catch on.

There is no sense going on short

trips any more for a weekend. It

costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay

in a hotel.

No one can afford to be sick

any more. At $15.00 a day in

the hospital, it's too rich for

my blood.

If they think I'll pay 30 cents

for a haircut, forget it.

Captioned Pictures

Thanks to Murray S.

nusual Photos

Unusual Photos

Thanks to Paula S.

Not Quite Centre

Thanks to David M.

Journey to the Not-Quite-Center of the Earth

The image above comes from Pichincha, Ecuador, at a place called Ciudad Mitad del Mundo -- literally, Middle of the World City. If you look carefully, you'll see a yellow-ish line on the walkway at the bottom of the image. That line represents the Equator, making Ciudad Mitad del Mundo a nice little tourist trap where visitors can jump between the Northern and Southern Hemisphere much like Homer Simpson at the American Embassy in Australia. It makes a lot of sense that such an attraction exists; after all, Ecuador translates to "Republic of the Equator," so there's an understandable affinity there for the invisible line that runs through the South American nation. And Cuidad Mitad del Mundo is a very nice homage to the geographically unique place upon where it lives. There are well manicured lawns, pristine walkways, and a handful of statues and monuments, too. It's nearly perfect, given what it is.

Except that it's not actually on the Equator.

The error dates back to the late 1730s, when French king Louis XV sent an expedition to Ecuador to determine whether the circumference of the Earth was greater around the planet's center or around its poles. The mission ultimately concluded, by 1739, that the Earth is shaped the way we now know it to be, using a series of astronomical data sets to draw this conclusion. But the measurements weren't as accurate as modern technology allows. Unfortunately, when Ecuador built the monument and park in 1936 (in honor of the expedition's 200th anniversary, even though the expedition itself likely never went through what is now Pichincha), they used the only data they had -- the 200 year-old one, which is unfortunately, off by a little bit.

No one knew is at the time, though. As Google Maps and the like developed, the world realized that the measurement tools of 1736 were good, but not perfect. The yellow line above is about 250 yards (225 meters) from the actual Equator, resulting in a lot of vacation photos which are geographically wrong and a big monument which is similarly in the incorrect spot. Fixing it isn't really possible -- at least not within a reasonable budget -- so instead, a nearby institution, the Intiñan Museum, capitalized on the opportunity and created the work-around pictured below.

The red line is the true Equator, running through a staircase (The staircase was there before the powers that be realized the error. And why ruin a perfectly good staircase on behalf of an invisible line?)

As one visitor's report notes, you'll still see signs saying that you're at 0°00′00″, a claim echoed by the museum's website even though we all know that's not true. And more importantly, tourists agencies and the like still push visitors to visit Ciudad Mitre del Mundo, calling it the true home to the Equator, even though it's not. One of the reasons for this may be the relative campiness of the activities at the red line; that same report claims that the Intiñan Museum offers the opportunity to do "all sorts of magical equator-like things such as balancing an egg on the head of a nail, and falling over sideways as you attempt to walk the line with your eyes closed," without the picturesque background of its incorrect neighbor a short distance away. But at least it's in the right place!

Did you Enjoy This Page?

Please click +1

More On Page 3

Page 1 Page 2 Interesting Articles