Sunday Family Humour 1st June
Sunday Family Humour 1st June
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
DIVORCE SETTLEMENT
Thanks to Alex
On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp,
a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.
When he'd finished, he went into each and every room
and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar
into the hollow center of the curtain rods.
He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.
Then, slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided
they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut
their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser,
they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex-called the woman and asked how things were going.
She told him the saga of the rotting house.
He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.
Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was,
she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth
.... but only if he would sign the papers that very day.
He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.
A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home
...and just to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods !!!
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU...?
One heckuva jump
Thanks to David M.
If you've ever been in freefall you'll find this to be exhilarating, to say the least.
After about a minute you will see the altimeter and the airspeed indicator come on the screen.
Watch the speed, and his rate of descent. You will be amazed at what you see.
24+ miles above the surface of the Earth......
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE AND THE PHOTOGRAPHY IS BREATHTAKING.
Hold your breath and watch this, also watch the odometer as the speed increases and then decreases as he enters the earth’s atmosphere. What a view!
First-Person-View Of Felix Baumgartner's Space Jump
Ways to Show You're a Real Man
Thanks to David M,
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Dogs saying Grace Before Dinner
Thanks to David M.
Black Bear Quins
Thanks to Paula Stan
once in a lifetime photo
Black bears typically have two cubs; rarely, one or three. In 2007, in northern New
Hampshire , a black bear sow gave birth to five healthy young. There were two or
three reports of sows with as many as 4 cubs, but five was, and is, very extraordinary.
The photographer learned of them shortly after they emerged from their den and set a goal of
photographing all five cubs with their mom - no matter how much time and
effort was involved. He knew the trail they followed on a fairly regular
basis, usually shortly before dark. After spending nearly four hours a
day, seven days a week, for more than six weeks, he had that
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and photographed them. He used the
equivalent of a very fast film speed on his digital camera. The print is
properly focused and well exposed, with all six bears posing as if they
were in a studio for a family portrait.
The photographer stayed in touch with other people who saw the bears during
the summer and into the fall hunting season. All six bears continued to
thrive. As time for hibernation approached, he found still more folks
who had seen them, and everything remained OK. The photographer stayed
away from the bears because he was concerned that they might become
habituated to him, or to people in general, and treat them as
approachable friends. This could easily become dangerous for both man
and animal.
After Halloween, no further reports and could only hope the bears survived
until they hibernated. This spring, just before the snow disappeared,
all six bears came out of their den and wandered all over the same
familiar territory they trekked in the spring of 2007.
The photographer saw them before mid-April and dreamed nightly of taking
another family portrait, a highly improbable second once-in-a-lifetime
photograph.
On 25 April 2008, he achieved his dream.
When something as magical as this happens between man and animal, Native
Americans say, "We have walked together in the shadow of a rainbow." And
so it is with humility and great pleasure that I share these exhilarating photos with you.
Do pass them on!
Amazing Bird Photos
Thanks to Paula S.
Spirit Bear
Thanks to Fritz
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