Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
Thanks to David H.
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A
small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing all day long? "The crow answered: "Sure, why not?" So,
the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden,
a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Life Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very,
very high up.
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be
able to get to the top of that tree, " sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got
the energy. " "Well, why don't you nibble some of my droppings? They're
packed with nutrients!" said the bull. The turkey pecked at a lump of dung
and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached
the second branch. Finally, after a fourth night, there he was proudly
perched at the top of the tree. Soon, he was promptly spotted by a farmer,
who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Life Lesson : Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you
Parable Number 3 The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As
they went along, some people remarked, "It is a shame the old man walks
while the boy rides." The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right,
so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked,
"What a shame! The old man makes that little boy walk while he rides."
Consequently, they decided that they both would walk. Soon, they passed some
more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent
donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. Now, they passed some people
that shamed them, saying how awful it was to put such a load on a poor
donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to
carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the
animal and it fell into the river and drowned!
Life Lesson: If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was
so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it
was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen
bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and
soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate. Following the song, the cat discovered the bird under the pile
of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Life Lesson : 1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. 2) Not
everyone who gets you out of the shit is your friend. 3) And when you're in
deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
Thanks to Ray O'.
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Thanks to David M.
Photographer Will Burrard-Lucas got more help than he bargained for
when he went to shoot a young family of meerkats in the Makgadikgadi region of Botswana.
The new arrivals used the photographer as a look out post before trying their hand at taking pictures.
Uh-oh, Mum's back!
Photographs: Will Burrard-Lucas/Barcroft Media
During a nighttime underwatershoot of manta rays, a bottlenose
dolphin showed up and very rapidly elicited the the help of the divers in
removing a barely-visible fishing hook and line from it's left pectoral fin.
Given the *extreme* rapidity of thedivers' response, I'd have to say that
this is a pretty good case for the amazing intelligence of these animals -
in addition, possibly of their telepathic abilities...?
Video (a little over 3 mins):
Thanks to Lee
As You Slide Down the Banister of Life Through 2014 -- Remember:
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book.
It’s called ... ‘Ministers Do More Than Lay People'
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss,
the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant Flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
7. It used to be only death and taxes,
Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
And As You Slide Down that Banister of Life
You Should Pray That All The Splinters Are Pointed The Other Way...