Biggest Challenge

Question to write about and share on meeting arrival.

If you were going to lead an empathy circle tomorrow what might be the biggest challenge for you?

What are three questions you would like to ask?

If there was a Frequently Asked Questions list (FAQ), what questions would you want to have answered on it?

Edwin Rutsch

• 1. (Preparation) How to prepare people as well as possible for taking part in advance?

     1. FAQ: How do I prepare for taking part in an Empathy Circle?

  2. (Resistance) I feel a certain “resistance” from people in taking part in circle and using the structure. I bring that concern or tension about their “resistance” to the circle which reinforces it. How do I overcome that?

  3. (Too Structured) Some people complain about the structure. “This too structured, I just want to talk when I want to talk.”

• • 1. FAQ: This process seems to structured for me., what do I do?

    2. FAQ: Why is this structure so important?

• 4. How to do empathy circles in the “wild”. Will possibly do then at the Rallies on Saturday. How to introduce them in a chaotic environment?. Need a bigger better flyer? With more images, clearer steps.

• • 1. FAQ: What are these Empathy Circles about?

Rosa Zubizarreta

My biggest challenge might be… working with people who have a hard time reflecting. I’ve been doing it for a long time, so sometimes it is hard to remember that it can be challenging for some people.

I think we need to create a small “teach” piece about this, introducing the different kinds of reflections, etc. Some people will be familiar with reflections (those who come from a Focusing background, or NVC background, or who are therapists, etc.) but others may not be.

For FAQ list:

• 1. How to help people who have a hard time offering someone else a listening reflection?

  2. What do people need to know, in order to be part of an empathy circle?

  3. What other variations are possible with an empathy circle?

Salvador Moreno López

The biggest challenge would be to show people that empathy really matter and makes a big difference in human relationships.

People feel uncomfortable saying back the “same words” that the speaker said. Sometimes I invite them to use their own words and try.

How would I describe other people what is an empathy circle?

How invite them to express their understanding of speaker’s expression?

How to help participants to feel comfortable and safe enough to try?

Eliza Ryan

The biggest challenge would be not a challenge so much, but I would definitely want to read off of a document so I am very clear in my communication.

Questions:

• 1. What if the prompt question is too personal or in an area that I don’t want to share about?

  2. What if people say what I use in an empathy circle against me?

  3. What if someone’s reflection feels judgemental?

Rita Czarny

Biggest challenge is when people are coming to a circle and did not really choose, choosing instead to resist the process (With their unconscious energy)

3 questions:

• 1. When someone has difficulty just repeating what they heard, and automatically add their thoughts or comments. How do you deal with it when it happens again and again?

  2. Because this process is not natural, with people who have no related training, they find it mechanical. HOw can we help them make it smoother?

  3. IS it ok to ask a question after we repeat” if yes, what would be the ‘rules’ to contain it.

FAQ

If someone is stuck, how does, just repeating back to people, help them get a sense of what to do, next?

Do you really do this repeating model in real life? How does that work?

Mrinal Pareek

Biggest challenge:

To convince people to become part of the empathy circle and open up. Infact, this has been the challenge.

Three Questions under FAQs

1. While practicing empathy, how to save yourself from being burdened by the emotional display or things being said?

2. How to deal with difficult situations and people - Ex. What if a speaker gets taken over by emotions, breaks-down, becomes uncontrollable?

3. How to manage situation when someone gives up or gets disappointed in between because of some reason?

Alara Tiernan

• • Stopping myself from giving too much direction or teaching about empathy.

If there was a Frequently Asked Questions list (FAQ), what questions would you want to have answered on it?

• • What to say to someone going over time?

  • What to say to someone who is not reflecting "right"

  • What if someone is talking about someone else in the group and emotions get stirred up?

  • What if someone asks the group for advice?

  • Is it okay to charge for Empathy Circles?

Martin Golder

Biggest challenge: I think my biggest challenge is to remain focused and to recognize when my own thoughts and judgements are crossing my consciousness. In other words how to truly listen.

FAQs

How to recognize the various states. Empathy, cognitive and emotional, sympathy, compassion.

How to learn to be in these states.

How to really care for others even when they are strangers crossing your path.

Violeta Cone

My biggest challenge would be to set up the empathy circle in a way, where confidentiality and trust are guaranteed and kept. This also includes Rosa’s main concern about the inability of some people to do reflecting. It is very easy to break trust, when someone “reflects” with a judgment or an inaccurate interpretation. Reflecting is not a popular skill in my country (at least a lot less so than in US).

(My current plan to overcome the challenge includes an educational session on what empathy is, then one round of training in basic reflective skills, maybe one exercise of “the worst listening you can do” and then a basic outline of Empathy circle rules on the wall).

FAQs:

• 1. If I want to show people on my team the benefits of empathy, is it a good idea for me to run an empathy circle or should I have someone with more training do it?

  2. What kind of training do I need in order to carry out an empathy circle?

  3. Can I extend the timing of the sharing from 5 to 15 minutes (with an option for interruption)?