Creating and Hosting an Empathy Circle HR Version - Mrinal
Tips for creating an Empathy Circle for HR
“Empathy—the ability to recognize and share other people’s feelings—is the most important instrument in a leader’s toolbox....The lesson I’m learning is that I’m useless by myself. My success hinges entirely on the people I work with—the people who enlist themselves to join me in my vision. And it’s my responsibility to see that they’re working at their best capacity.” - Simon Sinek
• Introduction & Purpose.
For a holistic organizational development valuing people is equally important as setting processes and systems. Empathy circles is a small step towards building an empathic culture, valuing people and making them feel they matter to the organization.
Empathic culture helps people to humanly connect, share, grow individually and eventually contribute for an all round organizational growth. Being empathic can help individuals in various roles to build rapport, develop/enhance leadership skills, develop/enhance team as well as client management.
PS: Remember the purpose of empathy circle is to value people and make them feel heard.
• Start with an Empathy Buddy. To start, do one initial round to practice empathic listening among the HR group. Get each member of the HR group have a one-on-one conversation with the you (HR head, assuming HR head is initiating the empathy circles). Then you can plan your first Empathy Circle together and then take it to the other people in the organization.
• Set up a time and a space. The ideal size for an empathy circle is between 3 and 5 people. You can start out hosting an empathy circle with people in more casual set up like team offsites/office outing/lunch meetings etc. on any general topic. (Later on, you may want to offer empathy circles in more formal settings of workplace and bring up more relevant topics)
Depending on the size of your circle, you may want to plan between 45 minutes to two hours for holding your Empathy Circle. Make sure to leave some time towards the end, to get feedback from participants and also to plan any next steps.
• Get the word out and invite others.
Introduce empathic listening to people in the organization, starting with the top management.
Invitation:
HR representatives who are initiating the circle, are the "vision holders". Be prepared to let others know about the inspiration for your invitation, and what the potential benefits are. You can find more about this, on the "What is Empathy" page. (Also, depending on the context, you may want to create a written invitation.)
Group Formation:
Start with the torchbearers: HR can start this with people in the top management to promote development of the culture of empathy from top down.
Spreading it in the organisation: This can be followed by making groups/circles comprising members at the same level of hierarchy across verticals. For ex. leadership team, senior managers, managers and associates. At a later stage, you may want to make mixed groups picking random members from different verticals across levels.
Help settle the new talent pool: People at the entry level will have a lot of questions and they would want to be guided and nurtured in the most careful way. Introducing a buddy system by assigning a ‘Empathy buddy’ and having more one-to-one sharing can be the first step for them.
Frequency:
When you are starting out, you can invite people to a single session, to see if they enjoy the process. Once they have had a taste of it, they can figure out if they want to do more.
• Bring along a simple set of instructions. See the one-page or two-page intros offered here. You can print one of these and make copies, or create your own.
Tips for hosting an Empathy Circle.
• Welcome people. Thank them for being there, and help them feel comfortable by orienting them to the process, clear all speculations or apprehensions they might have. Mention an explicit point on confidentiality, if needed.
• Go over the process. If you are using a handout, review it with the participants.
• Ask for help. See if anyone might be willing to be the time-keeper for timing the turns during the empathy circle. For example, the timekeeper could let each Speaker-Listener pair know when there's a minute left, before the end of their turn.
You can also ask the timekeeper to let you know when you are approaching the time to shift into feedback and next steps. For example, if you are planning to leave 10 minutes at the end for feedback and next steps, you can ask the timekeeper to let you know 15 minutes before the end of the meeting.
• Intention-setting. This part is important and can be a very helpful ritual to help people trust the set-up. Start by sharing your intentions for offering the circle, then invite each person to share their intentions for being there. Ask the group if everyone is in agreement, with each person's intentions.
• Start the circle. If you are the only one with experience in reflective listening, invite someone else to start and choose you as the listener, so you can model reflective listening. Then when the first Speaker is finished, you become the Speaker, and choose someone else to be your listener.
It's ideal to host the circle with an “empathy buddy” – someone with whom you have already practiced empathic listening. Then one of you can choose to be the first Speaker, and the other one of you can be the first Listener.
This gives both of you the opportunity to model something for the group. The one who starts out as the Speaker, will model "pausing" every once in a while, so that the Listener can reflect. Meanwhile, the one who is being the Listener, models how to offer reflections. (They can also model how to ask for a pause as needed!)
Once the first Speaker completes, the person who was Listening becomes the new Speaker, and asks someone else in the Circle to be their Listener. (Please note: you are NOT both just "switching roles" here, as you want to start including others in the Circle.)
• When the time approaches for the closing part of the circle (feedback and next steps), you can let the circle know that this will be the last Speaking-Listening turn.
• Shift into the closing part of your gathering, by inviting participants to share their feedback. What did they most enjoy about the experience? What changes would make it work better for them?
• Before you close, you can also ask if participants would like to meet again.
• Alternatively you can later ask for an anonymous feedback and Q&A.